What Really Ministers to Loneliness? - Tim Conway

You know the thing about this subject

is that you all can relate.

Well, wait, is there anybody
here that can't relate?

Is there anybody here that's
never experienced loneliness?

Nobody's raised a hand.

So, ok, if you've all experienced it,

define it for me.

Lack of companionship.

Now, is lack of companionship loneliness?

Not necessarily.

Is it related?

It's related.

Or is it that loneliness may have

different types of meaning?

Like I was thinking,

some of you that have ever read Tolkien,

you may remember a "lonely mountain."

What does "lonely mountain" mean?

It's by itself.

Have you ever - some of you maybe,

perhaps have seen the message

that Charles Leiter did

on the loneliness of Christ?

Have any of you ever seen that message?

What do you think he meant by that?

If you've listened to it, where did
Charles go with that message?

What did he mean by
the loneliness of Christ?

Maybe right in line with
what Ken just said.

No companionship.

How did Christ not have companionship?

I mean in what way was He void?

How was Christ lonely?

There's nobody who could
be sympathetic with Him,

because nobody else was like Him.

Nobody else was headed down a road -

you remember when He's trying to tell

His disciples about the fact

that He was going to Jerusalem

and there, He was
going to suffer for sin.

What were they doing?

They were arguing about who
was going to be the greatest.

When He's in the garden

sweating great drops of blood,

what are they doing?

They're barely able to stay awake.

The idea was that He
had nobody sympathetic.

He was alone with regards to anybody else

who could identify with His situation.

Now, typically, when we
think about loneliness,

what are we thinking about?

Are we thinking about:

there is nobody else who
can identify with me?

Perhaps.

But what do we typically
mean by loneliness?

(from the room) Lack of attention?

Tim: Maybe.

But I can tell you this,

there are people in this world

who we might call "loners,"

who like to be alone,

and when they're out watching the sunset -

I mean, there's lots of
times I can remember

growing up and being in the woods hunting

all by myself -

maybe a few creatures of God's making

are roaming around out there.

But I'm far outside of earshot

of any human being besides myself.

And I didn't feel lonely.

And yet there are people who are married,

and yet they feel lonely.

There are people in a crowd -

you can have somebody go to a fellowship

and experience loneliness.

So what do we mean?

What happens when we feel lonely?

Notice that. Notice the
word I'm saying there.

We feel.

It's got to do with how we feel

so much of the time.

It's subjective.

Right? Loneliness is subjective.

You can take a person

and put them out in a barren place

and they don't feel lonely.

And you can put them in a crowd

and a person can feel lonely.

It doesn't have to do with whether

they're among people or not among people.

Now, it can be related
to that undoubtedly.

The loneliness of Christ -

nobody was able to sympathize.

Alone.

There's an idea where you don't have

somebody sympathetic,

and there can be a
loneliness in that sense

that nobody else can identify

with the situation that I'm in.

And there's definitely a connection

with the kind of loneliness that we feel.

We can feel like there's nobody

to communicate with;

there's nobody to get close with;

there's nobody to fellowship with;

there's no companionship.

There was no companion of Christ

that was His equal or
that could sympathize

or that knew what He was going through.

There was nobody for Him to relate to.

That's the idea.

And loneliness is that. We feel that.

A wife can feel lonely even though

she's married to a man.

Why? Because she feels distant.

She feels like there's no communication.

She feels like there's no
companionship there.

Isn't it amazing? God made us social.

Have you ever thought
about how amazing it is

that we can even feel lonely?

We can feel that.

God made us that way.

God made us social creatures.

I doubt that there's a loner

on the face of this earth

that truly desires to be isolated

and exclusively without any interaction

with other people.

Now they may say it.

They're trying ot protect themselves.

They may say they like it,

but I don't think there's
anybody that really likes it.

I believe God has made us social.

Because the greatest loner in here

didn't raise his hand when I asked

if there was anybody
who's ever felt loneliness

or hasn't felt it.

Nobody raised their hand.

Now maybe somebody's
not just wanting to be

brought to attention here,

but I think the reason
nobody raised your hand

is because you're all being honest.

You've all experienced loneliness.

And the thing about it is

it can be one of the sorest trials

that God can put His people to.

Loneliness can be a trial

of immense proportion.

And so I want us to talk
about loneliness tonight.

How do we deal with it?

How do we deal with it if
we're the one feeling lonely?

How do we help others
who are feeling lonely?

Let me ask this.

What is it that truly
ministers to loneliness?

Because you can be in
a crowd and be lonely.

You can be married and have kids

and be lonely.

So what is it that really
ministers to loneliness?

What ministers to it?

Tell me from your own experience.

Everybody here is admitting to having felt

and experienced the difficulty,

the trial of loneliness.

What is it that actually helps?

What is it that alleviates it?

What is it that causes it to go away?

A listening ear.

So somebody willing to invest time in you.

Quality time.

Because to have a listening ear

means what?

What does a listening ear indicate?

What does it communicate?

You're willing to carry their burden.

Somebody cares.

So it's got to do with
relationship on that level, right?

That somebody actually comes along

who shows you that they care.

So in other words, bodily presence

doesn't make loneliness
go away necessarily.

It's somebody who cares.

It's somebody who loves you.

It's somebody who invests in your life.

Right?

Somebody you know
who's thinking about you.

I mean, my wife likes that.

She just likes to know
I'm thinking about her

when I'm not with her.

Because isn't there a loneliness in that?

I was just heading out the door today

and Letty and Jordan were walking by.

And I was telling them about when I was

just down in Corpus Christi
on Saturday night.

I mean, some of the most hellish things

were bombarding me when I was down there.

And the thought crossed my mind:

Oh no, I wonder if
nobody's praying for me.

And then today I looked at all my emails

and it was interesting
how many of the people -

I had bunches of emails from being gone

over the weekend - and how many

of the people said they
were praying for me.

That matters.

To know people are thinking about you;

to know that people love you;

to know that people are willing

to lend that ear or
to invest or they care.

I mean, can you imagine people

behind the scenes - like the Apostle Paul

who you knew were willing to be

thrown into hell for you?

He wished himself accursed

and cut off from Christ.

There's something about that.

Loneliness - so much goes hand in hand

with just feeling that you're forgotten.

Right?

Nobody's thinking about you.

To have that feeling -

nobody really cares about me.

But now let's make a connection here

that as a Christian, is that true?

"For He careth for you..."

You know, during those three years

that I was single,

although loneliness was probably

the most bitter trial that I endured

through those three years,

and the sharpest loneliness

that I have experienced in almost

the 25 years that I've been a Christian -

I also had seasons of the greatest

closeness to Christ.

And there's nothing comparable.

No relationship in this
world can compare to that.

And here's one of the things.

As much as I want to stress

that we need to have our eyes open

to those who are lonely,

and seek to minister -

like I know James,

I can see him right ahead of me -

but I know James went and got married.

He knew what the single life was like.

He went and got married.

And on a regular basis now,

they're having people over to their house

and they're showing hospitality.

You know if you've come
through those lonely years

that's a good way to respond.

We need to be mindful.

We need to be thinking about

who those are that will be lonely

and help to bear the burden;

help to come in and
alleviate that loneliness.

Remember, love is going to do that.

Love is going to treat others

the way it wants to be treated.

And because you've all
experienced loneliness,

I just want to say this.

There is a real tendency to the self-pity

I think that Martha brought up.

You know what happens?

I can remember this.

I can remember that one of
the young people in the church,

he was feeling lonely.

He was feeling self-pity.

He got sick.

And he went and spent time

with his former girlfriend who's lost.

I said, brother, what are you doing?

He said well, nobody in the church

ever made soup for me

when I got sick.

And I said to him, brother,

when's the last time you made soup

for anybody in the church?

He never had.

And you know one of the problems

that can happen especially when

we have a church full of single people?

Not exclusively, but
lots of single people?

Is you can get all the single people

on a self-pity binge

where nobody's thinking about anybody else

because they're thinking:

I'm lonely. Woe is me.

And you're going along and
you're thinking about

what other people don't do for you,

when probably one of the greatest ways

out of loneliness is not to wait

for other people to come along to you.

Now, they should.

We do have a responsibility to one another

and we need to be seeking out one another.

But if you're in a situation
where you're lonely,

rather than allowing self-pity

to rule the day,

take that loneliness -

much the way Ruby and I can

remembering back -

and we're not in a good place, I know,

with regards to the hospitality thing.

But I'm hoping, Lord willing,

my responsibilities in Austin
are going to be alleviated

and I'm hoping that Thursday nights

are going to very quickly become

one of our nights that we can

begin to reach out to
people more that way.

But, I just want you single
people to be thinking

that if you know loneliness,

you've experienced loneliness,

don't let that hurt;

don't let that experience drive you

into the realms of self-pity.

Let it drive you to show
compassion to others.

Let it drive you in feeling
your own pain from it

to go do what this guy didn't do.

I mean, rather than feeling the self-pity

that no member of the
church ever made him soup,

let it be a trigger in your own mind:

I ought to make soup for people

when they get sick.

You might find that the visitations

that you receive from Christ

in the midst of keeping His commandments

very much akin to like John 14:23

when He's talking about
manifesting Himself;

making His abode
(v. 21, 23 there in John 14).

But what's it connected with?

Keeping His commandments.

It's doing the things that please Him.

Do you think it pleases Him

when we pour out ourselves for others?

Do you think He's likely
to fill your cup

so that you can minister to others

as you're seeking to pour
yourself out for others?

Certainly, we have promises all
through the Scriptures like that.

And see, the thing is we can react

to our loneliness in a wrong way.

"Woe is me."

We can react that way.

And we can even deepen that loneliness

by feeling like nobody
else can sympathize.

And look at everybody else.

Everybody else gets this
or everybody else gets that.

Nobody's doing this for me

and God hasn't given this to me.

And we can compound it with self-pity.

But that's not the way to respond.

You see, Paul talked about comfort;

being comforted.

I think we can comfort one another,

and as we comfort one another,

I think we can expect and experience

the comfort that comes from the Lord.

And as He comforts us

and He comes visit us,

we can again in turn seek to comfort

others with the comfort whereby

He's comforted us.

We're learning - constantly learning

and pouring ourselves out that way.

Have any of you actually been

in a situation where you're
experiencing loneliness,

and other than somebody coming along

and spending time with you,

lending you an ear -

which that's good and we need to be

ministering to one another in that way.

But let me ask you this.

Have any of you experienced loneliness

and ever had somebody speak truth

to you in a way and biblically whereby

you found your loneliness dispelled?

Is there any truth that's
helped any of you

in the midst of loneliness?

(from the room)

I've been going through
loneliness in the past year.

And a passage that's helped
me is 1 Corinthians 7:35.

(unintelligible)

Tim: Give your loneliness.

But is that loneliness or that aloneness?

How do you take that?

When you used the word
loneliness right there,

how did you mean it?

(unintelligible)

How many have in some way or another -

those of you who are single

or you remember being single,

how many of you have found any help

in that verse?

(from the room)

What was the verse again?

Tim: It was a text out of 1 Corinthians 7

where it speaks about the usefulness

of being single.

And Jeremy was just bringing together

the idea that - look, there is

the gift of singleness
that's described there.

I reckon, but even if
you don't have the gift,

the very same thing
that can be accomplished

by having the gift, can be accomplished

if you don't have the gift,

but are single in the fact that what?

Rather than giving your time to a husband

or giving your time to a wife,

you are able to what?

In an undivided fashion,

give yourself to the Lord.

And if you don't have a gift of singleness

but you're in that situation,

it's likely going to compound

your loneliness if you're really desiring

to be married and you're not,

that can tend to compound that loneliness.

And yet, what Jeremy is saying is

that is a season that
rather than succumbing

to the woe-is-me attitude;

rather than succumbing to the self-pity,

that that is a time in
life when you can be

especially fruitful and
give yourself to the Lord.

That's what I'm wanting
to hit on right now.

We need to minister to one another.

We need to get involved
in one another's lives.

We need to have an eye for the people

in the church who are most likely

prone to loneliness.

We need to be reaching out

and loving one another

and doing what we
ourselves would want done.

But I'm really wanting to focus in

on some truth that really helps.

I mean, really helps.

We can often throw truth out.

But, we're talking about
deepest needs here.

We're talking about deep longings.

We're talking about deep trial,

struggle, pain.

Loneliness is a pain.

We feel it. It cuts.

It's hard to endure.

And if there are truths that really help -

they really help -

I want to know what they are.

Martha.

(from the room) I struggled
with loneliness a lot.

Probably the thing that's
helped me the most

has been Psalm 50:23.

Tim: Psalm 50:23.

"The one who offers thanksgiving

as his sacrifice glorifies Me."

Bear in mind that

where I'd gone in sinful self-pity

is just all about me.

When I turn my mind to thanksgiving

towards the Lord,

(unintelligible)

My thoughts aren't toward myself,

but giving thanksgiving towards the Lord.

That's when He comes
and there's joy there.

Tim: But did you catch that?

She gives thanks. What's she doing?

She's communing with the Lord.

And she said that's when He comes

and the cloud lifts.

You see, as a Christian, we're not alone.

We may experience loneliness,

but we're not alone.

Not only are we not alone,

we have a Savior who bids us

do things like this:

"I stand at the door and knock."

He says if anyone opens to Me,

I will come in and eat with them.

I'll sit across the
spiritual table from you

and I'll fellowship with you.

"My Father and I will make
our abode with you."

"I will manifest Myself to you."

Those texts right there ought to help you.

Because when you're
experiencing loneliness,

you can take that pain

and you can pour it out,

because Jesus can sympathize.

One of the ways we feel lonely

is we feel nobody can sympathize.

Nobody could sympathize with Christ

because He walked a path
no one else has walked.

But I'll tell you this about His path.

Everywhere you've walked was on that path.

Now His path went
beyond where you've gone,

but it hasn't gone short
of where you've gone.

Everything you've experienced,

every trial you've tasted,

every bit of loneliness
that you have felt,

He felt.

Can you imagine?

I'm going to the cross

to pay the massive debt owed for sin.

You say something to the guys.

They're arguing about who's
going to be the greatest.

He's going to die for them.

He's going to pour out His life's blood.

He's going to be crushed
under the wrath of God.

He's going to Calvary.

He's got to go by way of Gethsemane

where the very anguish of it -

He said that He was nigh unto death.

This thing is going to bring Him

under such turmoil of soul,

that even just in the garden,

imagining the cup that He
needs to put to His lips,

(incomplete thought)

God is just sustaining Him.

It's the only thing that keeps

His soul from separating from His body

right at that point.

He's under such distress,

sweating as it were great drops of blood.

He's not even to the cross yet.

And He's telling His disciples

back down the road,

I'm heading to Jerusalem,

and this is going to happen to Me.

His God is going to forsake Him.

And they're arguing about

who's going to be the greatest.

Do you think that was a lonely road?

These guys don't get it.

These guys cannot relate.

And then when He's actually
on the eve of the cross,

here He is and He's under such anguish.

It's twisting the very inner being

with the turmoils of the coming cross

where He'll be poured out like water.

And He looks over and
there they are asleep.

They can't pray.

It's a lonely road.

And He's gone places none of us

can ever imagine.

But the thing is, He was made like us

in every respect

and He feels what we feel.

And so He can be sympathetic.

See, the thing is, when
your pain is most sharp,

you can boldly approach
the throne of grace

and you can know there
is a sympathetic High Priest

who has felt what you're feeling,

and there's help.

If there's anything you ought to be able

to take courage in, it's that.

There is grace to help in time of need.

Like I say, if you will go
pour out yourself in love;

if you'll think "woe is me,"

why doesn't somebody (fill in the blank)?

Oh... maybe I should go do that.

Maybe I should be doing that.

(incomplete thought)

Now look, if there's an elderly widow

and she just can't get out;

she can't do those things,

that's another thing.

She ought to be a special object

of the church's attention
when it comes to this.

But when you're young and single,

you have energy.

You have cars.

You have legs that are strong.

You can run somewhere.

You can help others.

You can pour yourself out for others.

You can minister to others.

And you know, I have it on good authority

that if you pour yourself out for others,

God will pour Himself out for you.

Have you ever seen any
promise like that in Scripture?

(from the room)

I was thinking 2 Corinthians.

He's the Father of mercies
and God of comfort,

and the reality in my life -

my experience in times of loneliness

is when it's like the self-pity thing too,

but the most comfort I find is when

I am pouring myself out for others -

people who have needs or are struggling.

And taking my eyes off myself

and not be introspective is when

the Lord has really blessed me

in some supernatural way

and comforted me because I'm not

thinking of myself and
thinking of others' needs.

Tim: I can remember those years

that I got involved in Little
Brother Little Sister program.

I got involved with a
juvenile home situation.

But get involved in those things.

And you know what?
I got involved in sports.

There was a church league softball,

church league volleyball.

I got involved in that.

And I got involved in as many
Bible studies as I could.

You know what?

I'm not surprised on Tuesday nights

that the vast majority of you are single.

I know why that is.

Loneliness compels you to want to be

where other young people are.

I know. I was there.

I remember the Friday night Bible study

that I used to go to.

I can't remember anybody in
that class that was married.

But that's a good way to do it.

Don't forsake the assembling
together of the brethren.

Don't do that.

You need that.

When there's meetings like this, be there.

I understand when people get married.

They start having to
work at their marriage,

and they start having to raise kids

that they don't come on Tuesday nights.

I understand that.

But this is a good place to come.

But not only to receive.

It's good to be where
other young people are.

It's good to be where other singles are.

It's good to come out
into social environments.

But you know what?

When you do that,

invest your life in others.

Don't be the quiet guy

that stands over in the corner.

I understand that some people are quiet.

I'm naturally quiet.

But love will invest
itself in other people

even if you're not the most
socially smooth person.

And other people will appreciate it.

They really will.

There are lots of people in this world

that will appreciate your efforts.

But go visit the nursing home.

There's Big Brother,
Little Brother programs.

There's all sorts of places that you can

invest your lives in needy people,

needy seniors, needy children,

others that we talked about -

the impaired, the handicapped,

people that are in wheelchairs,

people who are especially
prone to loneliness.

Pour yourselves out for others.

Don't waste this single part of your life

just in self-pity and "woe is me."

Really take advantage;

really take opportunity to get

the best mileage out of this season

of your life.

Redeem the time, right?

The days are evil.

Redeem the time.

Don't add more evil to it
by all your self-pity.

And in all of this,

if there's anything that's comforting,

I mean, I find it comforting now

when I experience the bitterest of trials.

And I experience trials now stronger than

those that I experienced back then

of loneliness.

But one thing that's an anchor

is this truth that we've
seen from Hebrews 12.

His suffering isn't random.

His suffering that He brings
in our life has purpose.

It's not just happening by chance.

God is designing it with purpose.

I can know that.

I need this trial.

Why?

Because He's imparting His holiness to me.

I need this to be more like Christ.

I mean, if we can really come to grips

with there is a Vine-dresser,

and I am a branch, and He prunes.

And like Charles Leiter says,

the vine-dresser is never closer

to the vine than when he's pruning.

And if we can really know,

wow, there's a hand of a
God who loves me so much -

remember, He's not going to
withhold any good thing.

any good thing.

Not one.

And if the greatest
good thing in your life

right now is loneliness,
then you'll have it.

If it's a husband, you'll have it.

If it's loneliness, you'll have that.

You know what, as bad as I wanted

to be married those first three years,

I was not ready to be married.

In fact, sometimes I wonder still

if I'm ready to be married.

But I was not ready.

I'm not saying it's been easy for Ruby

after those three years,

but I recognize, I wasn't ready.

And God recognized that.

That loneliness was necessary

for that given season.

And so is all of our suffering.

And just to come to the place

where we really recognize,

wow, I have a loving Father.

Remember? Do you remember
that from Hebrews 12?

This is evidence of His love.

Not that He dislikes me,

but that I am an object of His love.

He says in other places
the apple of His eye.

We are the ones that He had His Son

shed His blood for.

Do you remember the
argument of Romans 8:32?

If you get the biggest, best,

most valuable -

if you get that,

how is He going to withhold
any lesser thing from you?

He's not.

And He's never going to let anything

come along to harm you.

Everything works together for your good.

He's only going to give
you good in this life.

Now, it doesn't always feel good.

Loneliness does not feel good.

But you know what loneliness is doing?

Day in, day out?

It's like those pruning shears.

It's like the fire that the
silver gets put in to

and it comes out and
the dross is skimmed off.

It's put back in and out, in and out,

and in and out.

And every time, more dross is coming off.

And it's from one degree
of glory to another.

As that's happening and
you're beholding Christ

and you're being made to suffer

and you're keeping your eyes on Christ

and back and forth it goes.

And you continue communing with Him,

and even though it is a bitter trial,

by degrees - from one
degree of glory to another,

you are being transformed
into the image of Christ.

And you're becoming more and more

this object of His crafting

and beautiful to behold.

Purer and purer and purer.

We don't like it.
We don't like it.

None of us wants loneliness.

None of us wants pain.

None of us wants to suffer.

Why don't we want pain?
Because it's painful.

It hurts.

And none of us choose it.

We all would choose Christlikeness,

but none of us want to choose the path

that God has designed for it to come.

But if we can really
just come to recognize,

God loves me.

And it's hard. It's hard.

Because we look at:

you're a young lady,

and you see another young lady,

she gets a husband.

And you feel like:

God loves her. Not me.

But that's not true.

If you're children of God,

God loves you both.

And the truth is that oftentimes -

well, we know it.

Nobody's going to say they
made their greatest strides

in Christlikeness when
everything was good.

And the reality is, as much as

a godly wife is a gift of God;

as much as a godly husband

is a gift of God and
definitely to be cherished,

it may be that those of
you that don't get that

but get the suffering
and trial of loneliness,

you're making advances
towards Christlikeness

at a pace that other people may not be.

And in God's timing - He knows
the perfect timing for all.

And He knows the seasons

when it's going to be difficult.

But before you always see

the grass greener on the other side,

you do need to know

that I've met more than one person

that when they got married,

the real trials started.

So, before you think your own case

so desperate and so to be loathed,

I know more than one person

that would love to be single again

after getting married.

Anything else? Any truth

that you have specifically found

genuinely helpful?

And you see, we talked about this,

did we not?

That part of loneliness is when you think

everybody's forgotten you.

You know the problem we have

with what James just said

is there's a difference when

I'm at my desk and my wife comes in

and sits on my lap

and we have a face to face conversation.

Or we hug each other.

There's a difference in that

and us going into this book,

into one of the Old Testament prophets

and reading it.

What's the difference?

One's by sight. One's by faith.

There's a difference.

One requires faith.

We need to believe it's true.

But look, faith isn't an artificial thing.

Faith really does lay hold
on the promises of God

and it believes them.

So by faith, we believe.

We believe that He's there

and we believe that He cares.

I mean, that matters.

That's not useless.

It's different, but it's not useless.

It's not like it's of none effect.

It is.

And just remember this,

just remember this:

That even though there's a difference

between believing that

and having my wife come into my office

and sit on my lap,

it's very experiential

when Jesus Christ manifests Himself to us.

Somebody read John 14:21.

Because I think this is really important.

Because in times of loneliness,

where we are lacking the companionship

with other human beings,

companionship with Christ is precious

and it can be so real

and it can be so manifest.

Somebody read John 14:21.

"Whoever has My commandments
and keeps them,

He it is who loves Me.

And he who loves Me, will
be loved by My Father,

and I will love him and
manifest Myself to him."

But did you see the conditions?

What are the conditions of Him

manifesting Himself to us?

It is for everybody?

What are the conditions?

Say that again?

Keeping His commandments.

It's really important that

when you're in these
situations of loneliness

and you're being tried by that,

that you don't just fall off into sin.

That you're striving to love Him.

That's why I think it's so important

for you to pour yourselves out -

when you feel loneliness -

to pour yourselves out for other people.

Let that be the motivator.

Let that be the impetus behind you.

Let that be the catalyst

that sends you in the direction

of visiting others

and showing love for others

and seeking to alleviate other suffering,

especially other's loneliness.

In so doing, you're
going to be doing that.

Because after all, what is it

to really fulfill Christ's commandments?

Isn't it love?

As you're pouring yourself
out for other people,

oh, if there's something that tends

to only deepen and compound loneliness,

it's when you withdraw into yourself,

feel self-pity,

kind of isolate yourself,

and don't want to reach out

and help other people.

That only spirals this thing downward.

Any other truth that we would apply?

Yeah, whoever waters
will himself be watered.

There's many places in Scripture -

"with the measure that you measure,

it will be measured back to you."

Pour yourselves out for the hungry,

you're going to cry out to the Lord,

Isaiah 58 says, and God's
going to say, "Here I am."

Among many other promises there.

Secure and fulfilled.

She's sitting at the feet of Christ.

Yeah, if you're totally
satisfied in the Lord,

it's a loneliness killer.

And one other thing for God's people,

this momentary, light
affliction does what?

Prepares for us an
eternal weight of glory.

You know one thing you
can take comfort with?

Your suffering is momentary.

Whatever you're experiencing

as far as loneliness,

the day is coming soon -

a few more rolling suns at most -

and you will be eternally fulfilled.

Look, if every tear is wiped away,

every tear of loneliness is included.

There is no loneliness in glory.

So your suffering?

It's as your life is. It's a vapor.

I know it seems long now.

It seems sharp now.

But putting it in proper perspective.

Any other Scripture?

Any other truth that anybody knows?

One other comment that
I would make right here

is I know - I love this -

I don't remember the exact message,

but I've heard Paul Washer

emphasize the fact that our God

is a jealous lover.

And you know one of the things

about those three years

that God kind of put me in isolation?

You know, I'm sure He did that

to teach me to walk with Him.

And I'll tell you, God will put you often

in lonely places because He wants you

to walk with Him

and to commune with Him.

And He may very specifically remove

something from your life

if you're investing too much in it

or you have your hopes set too much on it.

He will leave you in that place

because He wants you to walk with Him

and talk with Him and commune with Him

and find your all in Him

and find your satisfaction

and find your fulfillment.

And I really believe that
during those three years,

you know what, I never had
a serious thought of marriage

in my whole lost life.

It never even crossed my mind.

The moment God saved me,

I wanted to get married.

But now, for three years,

God left me in a situation

where that wasn't the case.

And I spent many a night

walking lonely fields

and dirt roads.

I call them lonely because I was alone.

Out under the moon.

But oh, the free hours

to talk and walk with Christ.

Walking with Him.

God just putting me in a place

to learn to commune with Him

and to trust Him.

And you have to know,

God is in the business of doing just that

with all of His children.

He wants our heart.
He wants our affections.

He wants us satisfied in Him.

He doesn't ever want to be in a position

where He's saying to His child:

"Here I am,"

and the child is just longing -

like looking over His shoulder

and longing for something else

and pining after, oh, I wish I had that.

You know, here's God saying,

"Embrace Me."

"Sit down and fellowship."

"Sit at My feet like Mary."

"Come and embrace Me,

and I will embrace you."

"Come and know that
I haven't forgotten you."

"I love you. Come and
lavish yourself in My love."

And you're looking over His shoulder

at some guy or at some girl

or at some other situation.

Let your own loneliness

be a reminder - a healthy reminder -

a wake up call.

Let the pain of it actually produce

good fruit in your life.

You say, is that easy, when I'm hurting

to pour out myself for others?

Well, no, I know there's difficulty there.

But it's very pleasing to Christ.

That's what He did.

He suffered on behalf of others.

While He was suffering,

He gave Himself for others.

And just be mindful.
Just be mindful.

What I wanted to do tonight

was just put loneliness on the table.

Just get us thinking about it as a church

that we really might try to help alleviate

that suffering in one another.

Father, we pray that You would give us

grace to be successful in this;

to be fruitful in this.

In Christ's name, we pray.

Amen.