RSA Shorts - The Power of Empathy

(Subtitle Note: The audio seems to be taken from an event that Dr Brené Brown has spoken at, which is why there is crowd laughter.)

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.

Voice: Dr Brené Brown
Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) www.gobblynne.com

Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4

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[slurp] [gasp]

♫ classical strings ♫

So what is empathy?

And why is it very different
than sympathy?

Empathy fuels connection,

sympathy drives disconnection.

Empathy, it's very interesting.

Teresa Wiseman is a nursing scholar
who studied professions

very diverse professions,
where empathy is relevant.

And came up with 4 qualities of empathy.

Perspective Taking.

The ability to take the perspective
of another person

or recognize their perspective
as their truth.

Staying Out of Judgement.

Not easy, when you enjoy it as
much as most of us do.

[quiet crowd laughter]

Recognizing Emotion in Other People.

And then communicating that.

Empathy is feeling with people.

And to me, I always think of empathy
as this kind of sacred space.

When someone's kind of in a deep hole,

and they shout out from the bottom,
and they say,

"I'm stuck, it's dark, I'm overwhelmed,"

and then, we look and we say.

"Hey. I'm down.

I know what it's like down here.

And you're not alone."

Sympathy is...

"Oh!" [crowd laughter]

"It's bad, uh huh..." [crowd laughter]

"Uuuuhhhh... no."

"You wanna sandwich?"

"Um..." [crowd laughter]

Empathy is a choice, and it's a vulnerable choice,

because in order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.

Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with, "At least".

[crowd laughter] I had a, yeah,

and we do it all the time.

Because you know what? Somebody just shared something with us that's incredibly painful,

and we're trying to silver line-ing it.

I don't think that's a verb, but I'm using it as one.

We're trying to put the silver lining around it. So,

"I had a miscarrige."

"At least you know you can get pregnant."

"I think my marriage is falling apart."

"At least you have a marriage."

[crowd laughter]

"John's getting kicked out of school."

"At least Sarah is an A student."

But one of the things we do sometimes,

in the face of very difficult conversations,

is we try to make things better.

If I share something with you that's very difficult, I'd rather you say,

[breath]

"I don't even know what to say right now, I'm just so glad you told me."

Because the truth is,

rarely can a response make something better.

What makes something better is connection.

♪ ♫ ♪ classical strings ♪ ♫ ♪

♪ ♫ ♪ classical strings ♪ ♫ ♪