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Hate is a reactionary response. No one thoughtfully responds with hate, right? Or at least most people don’t do that. And it’s because hate is protective in very much the same way anger is. I know I have talked about this a bit before, but anger is a secondary emotion. Meaning it comes out to protect us from the real way we feel and instead of allowing ourselves to feel how we really feel, we let anger run in and push everyone away so we feel safe again.
Now because hate is reactionary, and most likely a secondary or even tertiary emotion, it’s the easiest way out. That’s why I agree that hate is weak, because it’s easier to be rage filled or spew hate comments towards someone else rather than look inside ourselves and acknowledge what it is we are really feeling and validate that.
And so here’s my challenge. Notice when you want to spew hate or anger and instead of immediately allowing that to happen, take a minute. Consider what you are really feeling and why these protective emotions are coming to your aid. Is it because they have said something that reminded you of a hurt or trauma in your past? Is it because they have something you want, and you are uncomfortable with feelings of envy or jealousy? Perhaps it’s because you are having a really hard time and just don’t have anything nice going on in your mind. But whatever it is, instead of letting that hate feeling take over, choose to feel the real primary feeling. Try it out, seek to understand where it’s coming from and then respond thoughtfully.
Next, we could even look back on that last time we were really hateful towards someone else, and maybe write about how we could have handled it differently, taking the time to consider how we were really feeling or where that hate came from.

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