1
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"Look at me!"

2
00:00:21,076 --> 00:00:25,104
That expression turned me
into a sight catcher.

3
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I am Ivan's mother, he is 15.

4
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Ivan has autism, he doesn't speak,

5
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and communicates through an iPad

6
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where his whole universe of words
exists in images.

7
00:00:42,411 --> 00:00:46,399
He was diagnosed 
when he was two and a half --

8
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even today I remember that day painfully.

9
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My husband and I felt really lost,

10
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we didn't know where to start.

11
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There was no Internet,

12
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you couldn't google information,

13
00:01:06,590 --> 00:01:08,983
so those first steps

14
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were out of intuition.

15
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Ivan would not maintain eye contact,

16
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he had lost the words he said,

17
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would not respond to his name,

18
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or to anything we would ask him,

19
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as if words were noise.

20
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The only way I could know

21
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what was going on, what he felt,

22
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was looking him in the eye.

23
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But that bridge was broken.

24
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How could I teach him what life was like?

25
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When I did things he liked,
he would look at me;

26
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and we were together.

27
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So I devoted to follow
him in those things,

28
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in order to have more and more 
gazing moments.

29
00:02:07,532 --> 00:02:11,252
We would spend hours playing tag

30
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with her older sister, Alexia,

31
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and when saying: "I'll catch you!"

32
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he would look around for us,

33
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and, at that moment,
I could feel he was alive.

34
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We also hold a record of hours 
in the pool.

35
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Ivan was always strongly
passionate for water.

36
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I remember when he was two and a half

37
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a rainy day of winter,

38
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I was taking him to a covered pool

39
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because we went there even in rainy days.

40
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We were on the highway,

41
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and I took the wrong exit.

42
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He burst into tears,
inconsolably, non stop,

43
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until I went back to track

44
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and only then did he calm down.

45
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How was it possible that being
a two and a half years old

46
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and without responding to his name,

47
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yet in the midst of a storm and mist,
where I couldn't see anything,

48
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he could be capable
of perfectly recognizing the path?

49
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That is when I realized that Ivan
had an exceptional visual memory

50
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and that this would be my entry door;

51
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so I started taking
pictures of everything.

52
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And teach him what life was like,

53
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showing it picture by picture.

54
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Even now it still is

55
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the way Ivan communicates
what he wants, what he needs,

56
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and also what he feels.

57
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But it was not the gaze of Ivan alone.

58
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There was also the gaze of everyone else.

59
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How to make people see
not only his autism,

60
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but him,

61
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and everything he can give?

62
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With all he can do?

63
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Along with what he likes and doesn't like,

64
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like any of us?

65
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But for that I also had to give of myself.

66
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I had to dare to let him go,

67
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and I was struggling.

68
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Ivan was 11 years old,

69
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and would go to treatment
in a neighborhood near home.

70
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One afternoon,
while I was waiting for him,

71
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I went into a greengrocer

72
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the typical one with a bit of everything,

73
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and while doing the shopping,

74
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I started talking to Jose, the owner.

75
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I told him that Ivan had autism,

76
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and I wanted him to learn
to go around by himself,

77
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without anyone holding his hand.

78
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So I decided to ask him

79
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if Thursdays around 2 pm,

80
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Ivan could come and help him arrange 
the water bottles of the shelves

81
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because he loved to organize

82
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and in return, he could
buy chocolate cookies,

83
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his favorite ones.

84
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He accepted right away.

85
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So, for a year

86
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Ivan would go to Jose's greengrocer,

87
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helped him arrange
the bottles on the shelves,

88
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with the labels perfectly
aligned to the same side

89
00:05:52,357 --> 00:05:56,357
and he would get his chocolate cookies.

90
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Jose is not an expert in autism.

91
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There is no need to be an expert,

92
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nor doing anything heroic
to include someone.

93
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We just have to be there --

94
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(Applause)

95
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That's it, no heroic deed --

96
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We simply have to be close.

97
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And if we are afraid of something

98
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or we don't understand, let's ask;

99
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let's be curious,

100
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but never indifferent.

101
00:07:04,064 --> 00:07:07,864
Let's dare to look each other in the eye

102
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because through our gaze,

103
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we can open a whole world to someone else.

104
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(Applause)

105
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(Cheers)

106
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,510
(Applause)

107
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Thank you so much, thank you!

108
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(Applause)