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Everybody is familiar with the feeling
that things are not as

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they should be,

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that you not successful enough,

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your relationships are not satisfying
enough

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that you don't have the things you crave,

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a chronic dissatisfaction that

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makes you look outwards with envy

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and inwards with disappointment,

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pop culture, advertising and social media

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make this worse by reminding you

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that aiming for anything less that your

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dream job is failure, you need to have
great

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experiences constantly,

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be conventionally attractive,

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have lot of friends

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and find your soulmate

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and that others have

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all of these things and

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are truly happy

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and of course a vast array of

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self-improvement products

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implies that is your fault for not

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working hard enough for yourself.

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In the last two decades

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researchers have been starting to 
investigate

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how we can counteract these impulses

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the field of positive psychology emerged

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the study of what makes life worth living

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while conductive behavior therapy

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was developed to change negative feelings;

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scientist began to ask

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why are some people happier and

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more satisfied than others?

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and are there ways to apply what

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they are doing right

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to the rest of us?

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In this video we want to talk about

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one of the strongest predictors

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of how happy people are,

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how easily to make friends

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and how good they are at dealing with

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hardship.

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An antidote to dissatisfaction
so to speak:

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Gratitude

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While gratitud may sound like another

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self improvement trend preached by

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people who use hashtags

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what we currently know about it is based

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on a body of scientific work and studies.

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we'll include them in the description

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gratitud can mean very different things

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to different people in different context:

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it's a character trait, a feeling, a 
virtue and a behavior

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you can feel grateful towards someone

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who did something for you

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for random events like the weather

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or even for nature or faith

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and it's wired into our biology.

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How gratitude connects us

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to each other

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the predecessor of gratitude is probably

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reciprocity,

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it likely evolved as a biological signal

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that motivates animals to exchange things

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for their mutual benefit

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and it can be found in the animal kingdom

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among certain fish, birds or mammals,

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but specially in primates.

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When your brain recognizes that someone 
has done something nice to you

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it reacts with gratitude to motivate you 
to repaid them

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this gratitude makes you care about others

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and others care about you.

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This was important because as humans 
brains

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got better at reading emotions

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selfish individual were identified and 
shunned

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it became an evolutionary advantage to
play well

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with others

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and build lasting relationships,

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for example:

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if you were hungry and someone else

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showed you where to find tasty berries

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you felt gratitude towards them

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and a bond to return the favor in the
future

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a drive to be pro-social

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when you repaid them, they feel gratitude

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towards you

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this brought your ancestors close together

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and forged bonds and friendships

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so, early forms of gratitude where

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biological mechanisms

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that modified your behavior towards
cooperation

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which helped humans to dominate the earth,

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but over time

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gratitude became more than just an impulse

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to play fair

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the consequences of gratitude.

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Scientists found that gratitude stimulates

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the pathways in your brain involved in

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feelings of reward, forming social bonds,
and interpreting others intentions.

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It also makes it easier to save and
retrieve

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positive memories

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even more gratitude counteracts negative 
feelings and traits

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like envy and social comparison:

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narcissism

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cynicism

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and materialism

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as a consequence,

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people who are grateful, no matter what 
for

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tend to be happier, and more satisfied

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they have better relationships

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and easier time making friends.

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They sleep better,

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tend to suffer less for depression,

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addiction and burnout

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and are better dealing with traumatic
events.

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In a way, gratitude makes it less likely
that you'll fall into

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one of the psychological traps modern
life has set for you

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for example, gratitude measurably counters

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the tendency to forget and downplay
positive events

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If you work long and hard for something

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actually getting it can feel daft and
empty

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you can find yourself emotionally
back where you started

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and try to achieve the next biggest thing,

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looking for that satisfaction

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instead of being satisfied with yourself

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or, imagine being lonely and wanting

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to have more friends.

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you actually might have someone

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or even multiple people who want to hang
out,

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but you might feel that this is not enough

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that you're a loser and feel bad about
yourself.

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So, you might turn down their attempts to
hang out

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and become more lonely.

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if you feel grateful for your
relationships instead

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you might accept invitations

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or even take the initiative.

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the more often you risk opening up,

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the higher the chance of solidifying 
relationships

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and meeting new people.

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in the best case, gratitude can trigger

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a feedback loop.

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positive feelings lead to more pro-social 
behavior

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which leads to more positive social
experiences

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that cause more positive feelings.

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This is a common experience after serious 
hardship

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like chemotherapy, for example:

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life can feel amazing after a crisis is 
over

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the smallest things can be bottomless 
sources of joy

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from being able to taste

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to just sitting in the sun or chatting
with a friend

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objectively, your life is the same or
maybe even slightly worse than before

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but your brain compares your present
experiences

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with the times when life was bad

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and reacts with gratitude.

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So, in a nutshell

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gratitude refocuses your attention

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towards the good things you have

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and the consequences of this shift

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are better feelings and more positive
experiences

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while it is great to know these things

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is there actually a way for you to feel
more of it?

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How To Make Your Brain More Grateful?

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The ability to experience more or 
less gratitude

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is not equally distributed

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you have what's known as trait gratitude

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that determines how much you are 
able to feel it.

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It depends on your genetics, personality, 
and culture

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this discovery made scientists wonder

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if they could design exercises that
change your trait gratitude

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and lead to more happiness.

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Let's start with important caveats:

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It's not yet entirely clear to what
degree gratitude can be trained

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or how long the effects last

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there are no magic pills for happiness

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Life is complicated.

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On some days, it feels like you're in
control of yourself

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and, on others, you feel like you're not.

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And this is okay.

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Also, sometimes pursuing happiness can 
make you more unhappy

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if you put too much pressure on yourself.

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Gratitude should also not be seen 
as a solution to depression

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or a substitute for professional help.

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It can only be a piece of the puzzle.

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It's not the solution to the puzzle
itself,

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the easiest gratitude exercise,
with the most solid research behind it

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is gratitude journaling.

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It means sitting down for a few minutes,

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one to three times a week,

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and writing down five to ten things you're
grateful for.

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It might feel weird at first,

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so start simply.

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Can you feel grateful for a little thing?

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Like how great coffee is,

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or that someone was kind to you.

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Can you appreciate something
someone else did for you?

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Can you reflect on which things or
people you would miss if they were gone

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and be grateful that they're in your life?

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We're all different,

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so you'll know what works for you.

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And that's it, really.

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It feels almost insulting,

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like things shouldn't be that simple.

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But in numerous studies,

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the participants reported more happiness

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and a higher general life satisfaction

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after doing this practice for a few weeks.

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And, even more,

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studies have found changes in brain 
activity

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some months after they ended.

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Practicing gratitude, may be a real
way to reprogram yourself.

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This research shows that your emotions
are not fixed.

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In the end, how you experience life

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is a representation of what you believe
about it.

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If you attack your core beliefs about
yourself and your life,

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you can change your thoughts and feelings,

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which automatically changes your behavior.

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It's pretty mind-blowing that something
as simple as self-reflection

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can hack the pathways in our brain
to fight dissatisfaction.

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And, if this is no reason to be more 
optimistic

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what is?

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Being a human is hard,

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but it doesn't need to be as hard.

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And, if you actively look,

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you might find that your life is much
better than you thought.

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If you're curious and want to try 
out gratitude,

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we made a thing.

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Please note that you don't need to buy
anything from anyone to practice

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gratitude, all you need is paper, a pen, 
and five minutes.

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Having said that, we've made a Kurzgesagt
gratitude journal,

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based on studies we've read,

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conversations with experts,

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and our personal experiences with 
gratitude over the last year.

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It's structured in a way that might make
it a bit easier

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to get into the habit of gratitude 
journaling.

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There are short explanations and 
reflections to mix it up

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and make it more interesting.

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We've also made it as pretty as we could.

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This video continues the unofficial series

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of more personal, introspective videos,

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from optimistic nihilism to loneliness
and now gratitude.

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We don't want to be a self-help channel,

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so we'll keep this sort of video at
roughly one per year.

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We hope they're helpful to some of you.

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Thank you for watching.