WEBVTT 00:00:10.230 --> 00:00:11.599 This is from Haley. 00:00:11.599 --> 00:00:13.297 "I'm 16 and have been saved 00:00:13.297 --> 00:00:16.297 for about two years. 00:00:16.297 --> 00:00:18.410 I live with my dad who is also saved. 00:00:18.410 --> 00:00:20.866 My mom is a professing Christian, 00:00:20.866 --> 00:00:23.240 but has made it very obvious she is not. 00:00:23.240 --> 00:00:24.667 She lives with her boyfriend, 00:00:24.667 --> 00:00:26.657 uses the Lord's name in vain frequently... 00:00:26.657 --> 00:00:29.351 I've written her and witnessed to her countless times. 00:00:29.351 --> 00:00:32.269 My question is, in the Bible, the Lord says, 00:00:32.269 --> 00:00:35.735 "do not even eat" with someone 00:00:35.735 --> 00:00:39.073 who claims Christ but is immoral. 00:00:39.073 --> 00:00:42.158 Does this mean I cannot have a relationship with my mom? 00:00:42.158 --> 00:00:44.769 Thank you for your time, Haley." 00:00:44.769 --> 00:00:46.499 I'll tell you what. 00:00:46.499 --> 00:00:50.345 Do you know where she gets that from? 00:00:50.345 --> 00:00:54.605 1 Corinthians? 00:00:54.605 --> 00:00:56.445 Somebody know where that is? 00:00:56.445 --> 00:00:58.495 Where it says not to associate with 00:00:58.495 --> 00:01:00.357 anybody that calls himself a brother, 00:01:00.357 --> 00:01:02.169 anybody who's a professing Christian? 00:01:02.169 --> 00:01:06.036 1 Corinthians 5. Let's read it. 00:01:06.036 --> 00:01:08.403 Turn there if you have your Bible. 00:01:08.403 --> 00:01:10.787 1 Corinthians 5:9-11. 00:01:10.787 --> 00:01:14.297 I just want you to see the flavor of this. 00:01:14.297 --> 00:01:17.306 Now let me tell you something. 00:01:17.306 --> 00:01:20.783 Young people, pay attention to this, 00:01:20.783 --> 00:01:24.127 even though Haley is dealing with this 00:01:24.127 --> 00:01:26.067 with regards to her mom, 00:01:26.067 --> 00:01:27.708 this is something 00:01:27.708 --> 00:01:30.528 especially you guys that are coming out of other churches 00:01:30.528 --> 00:01:32.379 and still have friends in other churches 00:01:32.379 --> 00:01:34.540 and you have family members that claim 00:01:34.540 --> 00:01:37.272 to be Christians and all sorts of things like this. 00:01:37.272 --> 00:01:39.202 There's a lot of application here. 00:01:39.202 --> 00:01:41.925 In fact, more so than I think sometimes we 00:01:41.925 --> 00:01:44.544 acknowledge in our day. 00:01:44.544 --> 00:01:47.024 1 Corinthians 5:9 00:01:47.024 --> 00:01:48.688 "I wrote to you in my letter 00:01:48.688 --> 00:01:53.393 not to associate with sexually immoral people. 00:01:53.393 --> 00:01:57.118 Not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world." 00:01:57.118 --> 00:01:59.583 Do you see? Paul wants us to be evangelistic. 00:01:59.583 --> 00:02:02.831 Does he want us rubbing shoulders with red-blooded sinners? 00:02:02.831 --> 00:02:04.881 You better believe he does. 00:02:04.881 --> 00:02:09.301 He's not saying, "come away from all 00:02:09.301 --> 00:02:13.683 the sexually immoral people in the world." 00:02:13.683 --> 00:02:15.880 "Or the greedy or the swindlers or the idolaters, 00:02:15.880 --> 00:02:17.842 since then you would need to go out of the world." 00:02:17.842 --> 00:02:18.929 And that's not what he wants. 00:02:18.929 --> 00:02:22.984 Christ said you're the salt, you're the light. 00:02:22.984 --> 00:02:24.544 We need to be in the world; 00:02:24.544 --> 00:02:26.068 we need to be out there in the world. 00:02:26.068 --> 00:02:28.725 We need to be salt and light in this world. 00:02:28.725 --> 00:02:30.690 We need to shine in the darkness. 00:02:30.690 --> 00:02:33.541 We need to be salt in a decaying and a foul 00:02:33.541 --> 00:02:37.079 and a corrupt generation in which we live. 00:02:37.079 --> 00:02:38.390 Verse 11 00:02:38.390 --> 00:02:42.200 "But now I'm writing to you not to associate 00:02:42.200 --> 00:02:45.565 with anyone who bears the name of brother, 00:02:45.565 --> 00:02:48.013 if he's guilty of sexual immorality or greed 00:02:48.013 --> 00:02:50.657 or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, swindler - 00:02:50.657 --> 00:02:52.379 not even to eat with such a one." 00:02:52.379 --> 00:02:53.635 Let me tell you something, 00:02:53.635 --> 00:02:56.225 Haley's question deserves a lot of attention 00:02:56.225 --> 00:02:59.404 in our day and age - you know why? 00:02:59.404 --> 00:03:03.720 Now you guys know 1 Corinthians 5, 00:03:03.720 --> 00:03:05.756 if you know your Bibles very well, 00:03:05.756 --> 00:03:08.847 this is coming after Paul has described a situation 00:03:08.847 --> 00:03:13.011 about a man who was sleeping with his father's wife. 00:03:13.011 --> 00:03:14.761 You guys remember the account? 00:03:14.761 --> 00:03:16.613 Paul says you guys have been arrogant, 00:03:16.613 --> 00:03:19.244 you need to put this guy out to the devil, 00:03:19.244 --> 00:03:20.534 get rid of him! 00:03:20.534 --> 00:03:23.294 A little leaven leavens the whole lump. 00:03:23.294 --> 00:03:24.714 You've got a problem there, you've got sin, 00:03:24.714 --> 00:03:26.088 this guy calls himself a brother. 00:03:26.088 --> 00:03:27.985 Get him out. 00:03:27.985 --> 00:03:30.335 And there is evidence, is there not? 00:03:30.335 --> 00:03:33.540 We're not told exactly, but there is some evidence 00:03:33.540 --> 00:03:37.277 that in 2 Corinthians that this guy was restored. 00:03:37.277 --> 00:03:39.121 But here's the thing. 00:03:39.121 --> 00:03:41.511 I think we might have a tendency 00:03:41.511 --> 00:03:45.361 to do something as Christians. 00:03:45.361 --> 00:03:47.951 Let me just give you an example: 00:03:47.951 --> 00:03:49.999 We had this guy Bruce... 00:03:49.999 --> 00:03:53.757 come into our church claiming to be a Christian. 00:03:53.757 --> 00:03:55.466 If you don't come to our church, I'll fill you in. 00:03:55.466 --> 00:03:57.450 This guy started coming to our church, 00:03:57.450 --> 00:03:59.775 and he'd come in drunk. 00:03:59.775 --> 00:04:01.660 I mean, he was a homeless guy, 00:04:01.660 --> 00:04:04.177 living on the street, and he was a drunk. 00:04:04.177 --> 00:04:06.474 And he'd come in and say he was a Christian. 00:04:06.474 --> 00:04:11.017 And he'd interrupt things and do bizarre things. 00:04:11.017 --> 00:04:14.012 He threatened one of the guys in the church 00:04:14.012 --> 00:04:16.171 busting his teeth out when he confronted him 00:04:16.171 --> 00:04:19.070 about whether he was a true Christian or not. 00:04:19.070 --> 00:04:22.473 Which kind of gives away where he's at. 00:04:22.473 --> 00:04:24.621 But here's the thing, 00:04:24.621 --> 00:04:29.632 I think we live in a country where there are 00:04:29.632 --> 00:04:33.970 multitudes of false professors. 00:04:33.970 --> 00:04:36.600 Because we've got such a cheap gospel out there today, 00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:39.093 which is no gospel - not a true one. 00:04:39.093 --> 00:04:42.130 We've got people being pipelined into the Kingdom 00:04:42.130 --> 00:04:46.385 through short little sinner's prayers. 00:04:46.385 --> 00:04:53.194 Repentant-less messages like I told you about earlier. 00:04:53.194 --> 00:04:56.882 It's mass producing false converts. 00:04:56.882 --> 00:04:58.638 But see, I think sometimes we think, 00:04:58.638 --> 00:05:00.528 well, the guy in 1 Corinthians 5, 00:05:00.528 --> 00:05:02.476 sometimes it goes into our mind, 00:05:02.476 --> 00:05:04.286 he really was a true Christian, 00:05:04.286 --> 00:05:05.533 and when he was put out, 00:05:05.533 --> 00:05:07.304 he repented and he came back. 00:05:07.304 --> 00:05:09.314 And so I think sometimes what happens is 00:05:09.314 --> 00:05:11.653 we have people who profess to be Christians, 00:05:11.653 --> 00:05:15.300 and we tend to categorize them in our mind. 00:05:15.300 --> 00:05:17.264 We tend to categorize them either as somebody who 00:05:17.264 --> 00:05:21.158 we genuinely think is a Christian 00:05:21.158 --> 00:05:23.238 and probably needs to be disciplined 00:05:23.238 --> 00:05:24.875 because they've fallen into some sin, 00:05:24.875 --> 00:05:26.403 and we're hoping they'll come to repentance. 00:05:26.403 --> 00:05:28.574 Versus somebody that we look at and we say, 00:05:28.574 --> 00:05:30.762 "Ah, they're lost." 00:05:30.762 --> 00:05:32.078 And so what we can tend to do is 00:05:32.078 --> 00:05:34.771 say, well, the guy who we think is a Christian 00:05:34.771 --> 00:05:36.850 who has fallen into this sin, we ought to discipline him. 00:05:36.850 --> 00:05:38.866 We ought to put him out to Satan, like it said there, 00:05:38.866 --> 00:05:41.512 but this guy over here like Bruce, 00:05:41.512 --> 00:05:44.903 we look at him and we say, yeah, but he's lost; 00:05:44.903 --> 00:05:45.983 he's deceived. 00:05:45.983 --> 00:05:48.252 So we don't deal with them the same way. 00:05:48.252 --> 00:05:51.098 But listen to me, Paul doesn't say that. 00:05:51.098 --> 00:05:53.442 Paul doesn't say evaluate whether you think he is 00:05:53.442 --> 00:05:54.326 a Christian or not. 00:05:54.326 --> 00:05:57.812 Paul says if a guy says he's a brother, 00:05:57.812 --> 00:06:01.286 and he's involved in some habitual sin, 00:06:01.286 --> 00:06:03.256 just like we were talking about, 00:06:03.256 --> 00:06:04.836 put him out. 00:06:04.836 --> 00:06:07.386 In fact, it doesn't just say put him out, 00:06:07.386 --> 00:06:09.250 it says not to even associate with him, 00:06:09.250 --> 00:06:13.357 not to even eat with him. 00:06:13.357 --> 00:06:14.865 Folks, let me tell you something. 00:06:14.865 --> 00:06:17.288 We've lost this. 00:06:17.288 --> 00:06:19.662 We don't do this. 00:06:19.662 --> 00:06:24.887 And I'm not just speaking to you - I'm speaking to myself. 00:06:24.887 --> 00:06:29.002 Are we as a pattern coming across people 00:06:29.002 --> 00:06:32.108 that say they're Christians 00:06:32.108 --> 00:06:34.438 and they're living in sin 00:06:34.438 --> 00:06:37.538 and we just kind of write them off as lost people, 00:06:37.538 --> 00:06:40.420 and kind of approach them evangelistically. 00:06:40.420 --> 00:06:43.327 But that's not what it says to do here. 00:06:43.327 --> 00:06:48.761 It says, don't associate with them. 00:06:48.761 --> 00:06:50.536 Are we doing that? 00:06:50.536 --> 00:06:53.368 Now, of course, her question is she's got a mother that way. 00:06:53.368 --> 00:06:55.320 Now I would say this, 00:06:55.320 --> 00:06:57.260 Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5, 00:06:57.260 --> 00:06:58.838 when the church comes together. 00:06:58.838 --> 00:07:01.770 This is a church discipline situation. 00:07:01.770 --> 00:07:04.411 This isn't something that the government's told to do. 00:07:04.411 --> 00:07:06.827 It's not something the family is told to do. 00:07:06.827 --> 00:07:09.252 It's not something the employer is told to do. 00:07:09.252 --> 00:07:12.522 It's something the church has been told to do. 00:07:12.522 --> 00:07:14.137 It's a spiritual thing. 00:07:14.137 --> 00:07:16.160 I would say this, look, 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:20.450 if somebody's husband gets disciplined, 00:07:20.450 --> 00:07:23.616 the woman is still bound 00:07:23.616 --> 00:07:32.071 by her marriage vows to be his wife. 00:07:32.071 --> 00:07:35.794 This girl, what should her relationship be? 00:07:35.794 --> 00:07:38.621 Let me tell you this: 00:07:38.621 --> 00:07:40.847 It's something the church does - it's not something 00:07:40.847 --> 00:07:42.901 that specifically the family's told to do. 00:07:42.901 --> 00:07:44.782 And all I can tell you is this: 00:07:44.782 --> 00:07:49.672 We have no specific biblical example where 00:07:49.672 --> 00:07:52.240 discipline takes place 00:07:52.240 --> 00:07:54.790 and there is a family member there 00:07:54.790 --> 00:07:58.590 and how they are to relate. 00:07:58.590 --> 00:08:00.322 But I would tell you this, 00:08:00.322 --> 00:08:04.592 because the principal behind non-association is 00:08:04.592 --> 00:08:09.043 that leaven leavens the whole lump. 00:08:09.043 --> 00:08:12.584 What's that mean? 00:08:12.584 --> 00:08:17.292 What is a little leaven leavens the whole lump mean? 00:08:17.292 --> 00:08:18.578 What's the leaven? 00:08:18.578 --> 00:08:20.095 Sin. 00:08:20.095 --> 00:08:23.279 Where there's sin, it has a tendency to do what? 00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:25.052 To spread. 00:08:25.052 --> 00:08:29.028 Just like yeast, or leaven in bread, it spreads through the whole. 00:08:29.028 --> 00:08:32.661 If you allow sin in the church to go unchecked, 00:08:32.661 --> 00:08:35.327 what Paul's saying is, 00:08:35.327 --> 00:08:38.459 what happens is it infects. 00:08:38.459 --> 00:08:41.736 And the fact is, I'll guarantee you this, 00:08:41.736 --> 00:08:45.689 what happens is we get in a world of people 00:08:45.689 --> 00:08:49.996 that profess Christianity that are living in all sorts of sin. 00:08:49.996 --> 00:08:52.446 You just immerse yourself in that long enough 00:08:52.446 --> 00:08:55.423 and there is an infection that comes from it. 00:08:55.423 --> 00:08:58.728 There is a yeast there. There's a spreading 00:08:58.728 --> 00:09:01.509 that tends to dull down what true Christianity is. 00:09:01.509 --> 00:09:03.165 It has an effect. 00:09:03.165 --> 00:09:05.112 We're told not to associate. 00:09:05.112 --> 00:09:06.853 But I'll tell you when it comes to a child, 00:09:06.853 --> 00:09:07.853 when it comes to a parent, 00:09:07.853 --> 00:09:10.490 when it comes to a spouse, 00:09:10.490 --> 00:09:12.927 are they to sever those family relationships? 00:09:12.927 --> 00:09:17.069 We're not told specifically, but I'll tell you this, 00:09:17.069 --> 00:09:21.137 that wife, that husband, that child, that parent, 00:09:21.137 --> 00:09:25.639 needs to be aware of what the spiritual reality 00:09:25.639 --> 00:09:28.137 behind church discipline is all about. 00:09:28.137 --> 00:09:32.196 It's meant to prevent sin from spreading. 00:09:32.196 --> 00:09:33.196 And so I would say, 00:09:33.196 --> 00:09:36.511 if a family member is ever put in that situation, 00:09:36.511 --> 00:09:40.054 though I would not say that they are to cast 00:09:40.054 --> 00:09:42.502 honoring the parent out the window, 00:09:42.502 --> 00:09:44.939 or the wife loving the husband out the window, 00:09:44.939 --> 00:09:48.775 when it comes to a church disciplinary situation, 00:09:48.775 --> 00:09:51.097 they need to be very aware of the fact that 00:09:51.097 --> 00:09:53.077 whatever leaven existed 00:09:53.077 --> 00:09:55.646 that caused the discipline to take place, 00:09:55.646 --> 00:09:57.180 they need to pray for special grace 00:09:57.180 --> 00:09:59.476 not to be infected by; and they need to pray 00:09:59.476 --> 00:10:02.616 for the grace to abide in the midst of that 00:10:02.616 --> 00:10:06.657 and not be tainted by it. 00:10:06.657 --> 00:10:07.917 And let me just tell you this too, 00:10:07.917 --> 00:10:12.320 it's 2 Thessalonians 3, where it says, 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:14.634 "if anyone does not obey what we say 00:10:14.634 --> 00:10:16.959 in this letter take note of that person, 00:10:16.959 --> 00:10:18.921 and have nothing to do with them, 00:10:18.921 --> 00:10:20.624 that they may be ashamed." 00:10:20.624 --> 00:10:22.329 That's 2 Thessalonians 3:14 following. 00:10:22.329 --> 00:10:23.647 But it says this, 00:10:23.647 --> 00:10:28.552 "Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother." 00:10:28.552 --> 00:10:30.990 You know, in all the non-association that we have 00:10:30.990 --> 00:10:34.659 with disciplined people, it doesn't rule out - 00:10:34.659 --> 00:10:36.345 it says don't eat with them, 00:10:36.345 --> 00:10:39.398 I'll tell you what, if there was a disciplined brother 00:10:39.398 --> 00:10:41.801 that I was going to have over to my house to eat with, 00:10:41.801 --> 00:10:44.001 and all I was going to do is use it as an occasion 00:10:44.001 --> 00:10:45.934 to warn him and admonish him, 00:10:45.934 --> 00:10:49.924 I would feel liberty to do that. 00:10:49.924 --> 00:10:51.020 Warning. 00:10:51.020 --> 00:10:53.670 And if this young lady, 00:10:53.670 --> 00:10:55.594 she has been doing the right thing. 00:10:55.594 --> 00:11:00.347 She has been confronting her mother with that sin. 00:11:00.347 --> 00:11:02.593 And that's a loving thing; that's an honorable thing. 00:11:02.593 --> 00:11:04.467 She's desiring the best for her mother. 00:11:04.467 --> 00:11:06.295 That's reverencing her mother. 00:11:06.295 --> 00:11:07.631 And it would be the same situation 00:11:07.631 --> 00:11:10.996 if it was a woman to her husband, a husband to his wife. 00:11:10.996 --> 00:11:12.755 If they want the best, they want them to 00:11:12.755 --> 00:11:15.001 come to repentance over the matter. 00:11:15.001 --> 00:11:16.212 They either want them to come to repentance 00:11:16.212 --> 00:11:18.071 or give up their profession. 00:11:18.071 --> 00:11:19.214 Right? 00:11:19.214 --> 00:11:24.989 Come clean that you're lost. Or repent. 00:11:24.989 --> 00:11:28.138 And so to press people and admonish them and warn them 00:11:28.138 --> 00:11:31.826 is what we're told to do in 2 Thessalonians 3:14. 00:11:31.826 --> 00:11:33.286 And so I would just say that, 00:11:33.286 --> 00:11:36.626 that family member needs to keep that in mind. 00:11:36.626 --> 00:11:38.512 And obviously, if the wife's living with the husband, 00:11:38.512 --> 00:11:42.135 she's not going to spend 24/7 admonishing the husband. 00:11:42.135 --> 00:11:43.573 She's going to know when to do it; 00:11:43.573 --> 00:11:45.732 seek God for proper opportunity to do it. 00:11:45.732 --> 00:11:47.852 And maybe in many ways, 00:11:47.852 --> 00:11:51.390 she's going to seek to be that 1 Peter 3 woman, 00:11:51.390 --> 00:11:55.477 who without a word is just seeking to win her husband. 00:11:55.477 --> 00:12:00.704 Whether it's to repentance or to the faith. 00:12:00.704 --> 00:12:02.001 Whichever it might be. 00:12:02.001 --> 00:12:03.030 But taking that approach, 00:12:03.030 --> 00:12:04.125 and that might be a good approach 00:12:04.125 --> 00:12:06.219 for a child to take too. 00:12:06.219 --> 00:12:07.821 Like I say, we don't have a specific 00:12:07.821 --> 00:12:09.676 example of this in Scripture. 00:12:09.676 --> 00:12:14.281 And I know out at Community Baptist Church, 00:12:14.281 --> 00:12:16.901 not the same church that I was talking about up on 00:12:16.901 --> 00:12:18.603 1604, not the same one, 00:12:18.603 --> 00:12:21.115 this is a different one - this is down 1604 on the South side. 00:12:21.115 --> 00:12:25.845 But we had situations where members were disciplined 00:12:25.845 --> 00:12:29.610 who had spouses or parents or children 00:12:29.610 --> 00:12:31.976 who were members of the church as well, 00:12:31.976 --> 00:12:33.639 so this came up. 00:12:33.639 --> 00:12:40.139 And obviously, the family relationship was never severed 00:12:40.139 --> 00:12:41.955 because of that, 00:12:41.955 --> 00:12:47.229 but there is a way to walk in the midst of it in wisdom.