WEBVTT 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Good morning 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 dear Thay dear sangha, Today is the 9th, Sunday, the 9th of December, 2018. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We are in the Assembly of Stars meditation hall in Lower Hamlet, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and this is the last of the Dharma talks 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 before the end of our three month retreat together . 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I feel a special sense of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 speaking to that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Most of us have been here for the three month retreat together. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We've been 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 those of you who came 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to Plum Village for three months have experienced 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 going through ups and downs. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And maybe, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 some of the time you wondered, 'Why did I come?' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't know. Excuse me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's a loud blow. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maybe you felt, 'Yeah, I'd be better off 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in a cave somewhere'. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maybe in the Pole, or somewhere, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in some mountain. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When we practice together, we really 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have to meet each other, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and get along together. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If we don't get along together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because we are living together 24/7, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it really shows up. It is difficult to stay calm and to enjoy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So actually, a lot of the practice that you've been learning these three months 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is how to live in harmony, how to get along. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 How to practice loving speech, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but also you have to communicate when there is a difficulty, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but with loving speech. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 How to let go 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of your preference and maybe of your irritation. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 How to see the other person is also suffering. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maybe see that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 try to understand them so you can let go of judgment. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And we have practices, like Beginning Anew that we do regularly. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We do that formally, we sit down 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and practice expressing gratitude, noticing the good things in each other, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and also expressing when we have a regret towards each other. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is very renewing practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We had - It is also, we call it the season of Shining Light. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So because we see each other, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we are rooming together, eating together, working together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we see each other and we have something called the sangha eye. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because, ourselves, if we are just practising alone, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there is a number of things that we miss from practising in a community. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One is that because we are not interacting, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 things don't maybe come up in the same way. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So when we are interacting we get to see ourselves, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but also we have blind spots. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And so the it's very helpful for us, for the people we trust, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we open ourselves up, we allow ourselves to be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 open to receiving their view about us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that view is expressed with all of the love and appreciation also 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for the whole of us not just pointing to the difficulty. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we also practice this in the three months retreat, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 shining light on each other's practice, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in order to help the other person have more freedom, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 more growth in themselves, and more happiness. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes it can be a bit scary 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to allow ourselves 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to have people share like that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I've known people run away. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But when they allow themselves to they only experience the love. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm sure there are some exceptions to that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes people can get hurt also, and then we also have compassion 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that we are learning the practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So living together is a practice in itself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And in a sense, it is - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can say that learning to live together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 learning to get along is also the fruit of the practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Thay has said, brotherhood, sisterhood, there is no religion 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that is higher than that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we are generating brotherhood and sisterhood. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We are going in that spirit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There was a Harvard study 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 done, it was one of the longest ever studies, 75 years. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is still going on, I think. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And they interview and get also self-information 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 from standardised groups of men in the States. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Essentially the point is that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they were looking to see what are the conditions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for happiness and health 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 looking right through the life. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And what they found was if you want to know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what makes a happy octogenarian, that means, if you are 80 years or over, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because these groups they've been following since they were boys, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and now they are in their 80's. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You look back when they are 50 years old, which is my age, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can determine whether 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the conditions that seem to be common, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like the ones that are happy, the ones that are healthy, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the result is only one factor. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is not how much cholesterol in the blood, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it is not many things you might think, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but the one factor that comes out 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is those people report that they have good relationships.