9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 (Bell) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 (Bell) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 (Bell) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 (Bell) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Good morning 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 dear Thay dear sangha, Today is the 9th,[br]Sunday, the 9th of December, 2018. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We are in the Assembly of Stars[br]meditation hall in Lower Hamlet, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and this is the last of the Dharma talks 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 before the end of our three month[br]retreat together . 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So I feel a special sense of 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 speaking to that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Most of us have been here[br]for the three month retreat together. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We've been 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 those of you who came 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to Plum Village for three months[br]have experienced 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 going through ups and downs. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And maybe, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 some of the time you wondered,[br]'Why did I come?' 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I don't know. Excuse me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It's a loud blow. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 (Laughter) 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Maybe you felt, 'Yeah, I'd be better off 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 in a cave somewhere'. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Maybe in the Pole, or somewhere, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 in some mountain. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 When we practice together,[br]we really 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 have to meet each other, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and get along together. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 If we don't get along together, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because we are living together 24/7, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it really shows up.[br]It is difficult to stay calm and to enjoy. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So actually, a lot of the practice that[br]you've been learning these three months 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 is how to live in harmony,[br]how to get along. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 How to practice loving speech, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but also you have to communicate[br]when there is a difficulty, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but with loving speech. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 How to let go 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 of your preference[br]and maybe of your irritation. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 How to see the other person[br]is also suffering. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Maybe see that 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 try to understand them[br]so you can let go of judgment. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And we have practices, like Beginning Anew[br]that we do regularly. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We do that formally, we sit down 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and practice expressing gratitude,[br]noticing the good things in each other, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and also expressing when we have a regret[br]towards each other. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It is very renewing practice. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We had - It is also,[br]we call it the season of Shining Light. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So because we see each other, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 we are rooming together, eating together,[br]working together, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 we see each other and we have[br]something called the sangha eye. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Because, ourselves, if we are just[br]practising alone, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 there is a number of things that we miss[br]from practising in a community. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 One is that because[br]we are not interacting, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 things don't maybe come up[br]in the same way. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So when we are interacting we get to see[br]ourselves, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but also we have blind spots. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And so the it's very helpful for us,[br]for the people we trust, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 we open ourselves up,[br]we allow ourselves to be 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 open to receiving their view about us. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And that view is expressed[br]with all of the love and appreciation also 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 for the whole of us[br]not just pointing to the difficulty. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So we also practice this[br]in the three months retreat, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 shining light on each other's practice, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 in order to help the other person[br]have more freedom, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 more growth in themselves,[br]and more happiness. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sometimes it can be a bit scary 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to allow ourselves 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 to have people share like that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I've known people run away. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But when they allow themselves to[br]they only experience the love. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm sure there are[br]some exceptions to that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Sometimes people can get hurt also,[br]and then we also have compassion 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that we are learning the practice. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So living together is[br]a practice in itself. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And in a sense, it is - 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you can say that[br]learning to live together, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 learning to get along is also the fruit[br]of the practice. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Thay has said, brotherhood, sisterhood,[br]there is no religion 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that is higher than that. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 So we are generating[br]brotherhood and sisterhood. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 We are going in that spirit. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 There was a Harvard study 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 done, it was one of the longest ever[br]studies, 75 years. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It is still going on, I think. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And they interview[br]and get also self-information 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 from standardised groups of men[br]in the States. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Essentially the point is that 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 they were looking to see[br]what are the conditions 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 for happiness and health 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 looking right through the life. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 And what they found was[br]if you want to know 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 what makes a happy octogenarian,[br]that means, if you are 80 years or over, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because these groups they've been[br]following since they were boys, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and now they are in their 80's. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You look back when they are 50 years old,[br]which is my age, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 you can determine whether 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the conditions that seem to be common, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 like the ones that are happy,[br]the ones that are healthy, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 the result is only one factor. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It is not how much cholesterol[br]in the blood, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it is not many things you might think, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 but the one factor that comes out 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 is those people report that they have[br]good relationships.