WEBVTT 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Good morning 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 dear Thay dear sangha, Today is the 9th, Sunday, the 9th of December, 2018. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We are in the Assembly of Stars meditation hall in Lower Hamlet, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and this is the last of the Dharma talks 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 before the end of our three month retreat together . 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I feel a special sense of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 speaking to that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Most of us have been here for the three month retreat together. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We've been 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 those of you who came 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to Plum Village for three months have experienced 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 going through ups and downs. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And maybe, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 some of the time you wondered, 'Why did I come?' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't know. Excuse me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's a loud blow. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maybe you felt, 'Yeah, I'd be better off 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in a cave somewhere'. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maybe in the Pole, or somewhere, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in some mountain. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 When we practice together, we really 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 have to meet each other, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and get along together. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If we don't get along together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because we are living together 24/7, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it really shows up. It is difficult to stay calm and to enjoy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So actually, a lot of the practice that you've been learning these three months 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is how to live in harmony, how to get along. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 How to practice loving speech, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but also you have to communicate when there is a difficulty, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but with loving speech. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 How to let go 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of your preference and maybe of your irritation. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 How to see the other person is also suffering. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maybe see that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 try to understand them so you can let go of judgment. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And we have practices, like Beginning Anew that we do regularly. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We do that formally, we sit down 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and practice expressing gratitude, noticing the good things in each other, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and also expressing when we have a regret towards each other. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is very renewing practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We had - It is also, we call it the season of Shining Light. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So because we see each other, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we are rooming together, eating together, working together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we see each other and we have something called the sangha eye. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because, ourselves, if we are just practising alone, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there is a number of things that we miss from practising in a community. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One is that because we are not interacting, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 things don't maybe come up in the same way. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So when we are interacting we get to see ourselves, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but also we have blind spots. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And so the it's very helpful for us, for the people we trust, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we open ourselves up, we allow ourselves to be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 open to receiving their view about us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that view is expressed with all of the love and appreciation also 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for the whole of us not just pointing to the difficulty. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we also practice this in the three months retreat, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 shining light on each other's practice, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in order to help the other person have more freedom, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 more growth in themselves, and more happiness. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes it can be a bit scary 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to allow ourselves 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to have people share like that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I've known people run away. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But when they allow themselves to they only experience the love. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm sure there are some exceptions to that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes people can get hurt also, and then we also have compassion 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that we are learning the practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So living together is a practice in itself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And in a sense, it is - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can say that learning to live together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 learning to get along is also the fruit of the practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Thay has said, brotherhood, sisterhood, there is no religion 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that is higher than that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we are generating brotherhood and sisterhood. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We are going in that spirit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There was a Harvard study 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 done, it was one of the longest ever studies, 75 years. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is still going on, I think. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And they interview and get also self-information 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 from standardised groups of men in the States. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Essentially the point is that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they were looking to see what are the conditions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for happiness and health 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 looking right through the life. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And what they found was if you want to know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what makes a happy octogenarian, that means, if you are 80 years or over, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because these groups they've been following since they were boys, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and now they are in their 80's. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You look back when they are 50 years old, which is my age, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can determine whether 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the conditions that seem to be common, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like the ones that are happy, the ones that are healthy, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the result is only one factor. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is not how much cholesterol in the blood, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it is not many things you might think, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but the one factor that comes out 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is those people report that they have good relationships. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Relationships they can trust. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that seems to be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 an essential requisite for a happy life. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So in community,we are blessed with having .many deep connections to each other. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There is a lot of trust of each other in the community, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 which allows us to be open, and allows us to be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 free to express. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And, of course, relationships, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 when we talk about relationships, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what came to my mind when I heard about this study is, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what about the relationship we have to ourselves? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Do we trust ourselves? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This must also be important. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And the relationship we have to society, to Mother Earth. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This must also count as a relationship. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And it is also clear we know from our experience 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That to the extend that we are in a good relationship with ourselves, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 our relationship with others goes well. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And when our relationship with ourselves is not so good, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we find, things seem to get reflected to us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The sangha is like a hall of mirrors. We keep seeing ourselves reflected. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So when we have a difficult interaction, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's always helpful to ask what is going on in me 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that is connected with that difficult interaction, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as well as, you know, because there is a tendency maybe 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to blame or put it on the other person. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We may see interesting things when we do that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We may see that, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 'Ah! This reaction I had in the meeting, or in this interaction, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 brought about quite a strong emotion in me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It seems a bit more than, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 kind of disproportionated to what actually happened. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Why did I get so angry? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Why did I feel so anxious?' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I myself found myself in a situation where some anxiety and fear came, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and it started actually that anger. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was feeling somehow slightly let down about something, and then 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 this anxiety came. And I ask the question to myself, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what does this remind me of? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I should ask it to my store consciousness. What does this remind me of? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I just waited for something to come, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I suddenly had an image of myself in kindergarten. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A memory that I didn't have before. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is not one I could remember, but it's suddenly a flash 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of waiting to be picked up. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But my mother was late that day. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And there was a fear in me, I guess. And it was amazing how that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I made the connection just by asking that question. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it allowed me to, just having that interaction with the other person 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 allowed me to touch something that needed healing. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And the healing is maybe a continuous 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 path of healing that we are on. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We are not going to heal everything overnight, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or with one insight. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But we, each time we have a small healing, we get more energy and more confidence. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And we feel, wow! Okay, this is a good path. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And actually, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 just understanding ourselves, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 understanding that this is where it is coming from, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in a sense it can help so much 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 knowing that we have a practice that also embraces 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ourselves in that moment, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 embraces maybe the little boy, the little girl in us, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 when we see that coming up, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we recognize that there is some suffering there relating to that age 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 when we were very young, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we have the opportunity to embrace, to smile and with our solidity, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that we generate through the practice, we can breathe with that emotion. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So knowing we have a path, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we have a lot of kind of 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we have happiness and we have a sense that the suffering 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 doesn't need to be so much now, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because the biggest suffering is not having a way, having a path. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we have a lot of gratitude also for having the practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Even before we've applied it, but when we apply it, and we get the experience, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 every time we are so grateful. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I also had an opportunity in this winter, this three month retreat, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we don't call it the winter retreat now because for the very first time 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is more the autumn period. I also had an experience this three month retreat 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of connecting with my 14 year old in me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And, yeah. At that time when he felt very isolated 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and not enjoying school, and feeling 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 pretty in a bit of a hostile environment he found. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I knew, I know about this time, and I know t somehow shows up in my interactions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but I took sometime to try to talk with the boy. And he showed up. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I, he said, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he asked, I asked, 'Would you like to spend time with me? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Now I'm an adult'. And he said, 'You are too busy'. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 'You got too many things going on. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I cause you all sorts of problems anyway, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so I don't want to cause you any more problems. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't want to take up your time.' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It was very fascinating to hear this response. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And actually, it gave me quite some insight into myself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because, of course, that is part of me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I share that because 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it is part of our journey that we are on to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 heal all the parts of ourselves. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Inside as well as outside. Inside we also have a kind of sangha. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Different voices. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And we also need to bring harmony to those different voices inside ourselves. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But when I was deciding to become a monk, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I remember 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the Dharma teacher from the UK Martin Pitt, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 he gave me that advice, he said, 'In making the decision, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 check with your internal sangha, and make sure everybody -' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it's a real sangha, a real decision. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because there are these many voices in you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Some other voices of doubt, I had to say, 'Please, I hear you, but 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we've touched something deeper than doubt at this moment', 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and the doubt had to agree. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The Christians say, the doubting Thomas. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 isn't a fascinating journey, isn't it? The spiritual path. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And we do it together. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And somehow, being together as a community brings so much joy and insight, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it is so rich. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Some others are going away, going back to the real world. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I always find slightly ironic to use that term, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because it seems like out in the real world 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is where people are busy, very busy, running away from reality. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Whereas the idea here in Plum Village is we touch reality 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 within us and in nature. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But we go back out, and we want to maintain our practice. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One of the things we need to draw on is the connections we made here, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to keep them in our heart, and know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 when we think we are isolated, and all around out there, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 remember that is not true. Because the connections we make 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that are real, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they are not subject to dissolving simply because we are in a different place, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they are non local. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we always remember the sangha has our back. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They are behind us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 People visualize it in different ways. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Connected with the Harvard study I mentioned, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 loneliness is the biggest killer. That is a medical fact, that loneliness kills. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And we are so blessed that we don't - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We have so many conditions to not be lonely 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 through the practice of being there for ourselves, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and learning how to be there with other people and the connections we make. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The relationships we make. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because even you can be in a relationship, you can be in a family, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can be with many people, but, as the 14 year old boy, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in a boarding school, lots and lots of people. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They are not dissimilar to Plum Village's. Living in a dormitory, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sharing rooms. But I felt isolated and lonely at that particular time. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it's not exactly that you are next to people 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that you don't feel lonely. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It can also be that you can feel lonely even in Plum Village. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Again, if you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 somehow are not in good relationship with what is going on in you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And in those cases, where that is happening in Plum Village, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the encouragement is to stay. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And you may feel you don't have 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 your smile anymore. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'll always remember reading 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Thay saying, 'The dandelion keeps your smile.' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You know, the flower you see all alone, it has your smile for you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And like so in the sangha we can feel 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 not doing well, but we should try to become aware 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that there is a lot of love 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and care. People are giving us space, but they care. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And sometimes the care comes in a way we don't want, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 maybe somebody comes into our space, and tries to shake us up a bit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And we don't want that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Maybe it wasn't so skilful of them. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But nevertheless we can recognize it as good intention, as care. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we may have taken different themes for this three month period, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as well. I know some of the brothers in Upper Hamlet were studying the Anapanasati 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for instance. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Some brothers were studying the 40 tenets of Plum Village. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The Manifestation Only teachings was one subject I was engaged with. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I think many other topics. But them all, somehow, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 connect to the same point 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of how to come into relationship with myself, to be there, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and really understand what is going on in my body, in my mind. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And see my nature of interbeing. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And Thay has said that even just practising the first 4 of the Anapanasati, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 awareness of the breath, awareness of the body, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we touch all of the other aspects, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because of the nature of interbeing. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So in connection when we are just aware of our body, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as we really realize that, oh, here is my body 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I'm really get to be in my body, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 experiencing it with the breath, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I also naturally become aware of my feelings. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They are part of what is going on, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and there is a correspondence in the body. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And also mental formations, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 perceptions and consciousness. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I remember, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 yes, we'll have one sound of the bell. Thank you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Bell) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was just reflecting 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that one of the earliest winter retreat 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I can recall, I can't remember specifically which one it was, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but Thay said at the very opening talk of the retreat, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 'This retreat as an opportunity 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and we should practice to be there for every mental formation 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as it arises.' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And this was, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I just remember being astounded by the possibility of that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Every mental formation that will arise, I will be there, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and embrace, and take care, and recognize. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I guess that was a very wonderful thing to set 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as an aim for myself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 To try to be there for what is going on. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Always being aware what mental formations come and go 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and watching the impermanence of them, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and watching them in relation to what is happening in me, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 around me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And in my interactions. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But we sometimes get forgetful and lost, so just like on the cushion, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we recognize and we have to keep coming back. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 One of the themes of the three month retreat 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 has been the 14 mindfulness trainings. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And the ones that were left to me to share about 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 were concerning 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 right compassion and action, it has to do with right livelihood, reverence for life 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and generosity. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it is 11, 12 and 13. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The 14 mindfulness trainings, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Thay wrote then in 1964. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And it seems to me they are as relevant today 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as they could ever had been. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They were written in the time of the Vietnam War. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And they have been revised. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So we try to make them more and more relevant and skilful, appropriate 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to our time and with the insight that we have. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Ethics 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is a big subject, and in a sense, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the trainings, be they the 5 mindfulness trainings or the 14, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they are a contribution to what we hope is a good contributions to a global ethic. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And they don't need to be 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 religious or include Buddhist - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Kind of, things specific to Buddhism. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They can be put into the language that is for anybody can feel comfortable with. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But hopefully, they are universal. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They speak to the universal. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And they are about 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they are about love, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they are about the actions and interactions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that come about when we are 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 coming from a place of true love. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 True love we know has a number of ingredients. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 True love has brotherhood and sisterhood, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 kindness in it, loving kindness. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It has that friendship element. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Spiritual friendship, being there for each other. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 True love also has compassion. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We really can have empathy for the other person, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but we don't get overwhelmed by the suffering, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so we can truly be there. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Even when somebody is suffering, we can maintain our stability 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and be there for that person and help them. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 True love also has joy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Without joy, we can () so (). 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Joy is something very important. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And it arises from unusual places sometimes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes it is the joy that comes when we are able to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 be there with our suffering in such a way that we think, oh! 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This is a kind of joy, because I get to be with - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm in the most important place, where I need to be. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And there is a sort of underlying joy to that, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 even though you are maybe experiencing the suffering. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So I'm using that example to show joy doesn't always show up, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's not always what we think in terms of excitement, joy, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 although expressions of joy and smiles is also 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 very good. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I said to a brother before I came to the talk this morning, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 'I need to have a laugh before I go.' I need to generate that joyful energy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes we need to - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Sometimes I think of something funny just to generate that joy. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But the real joy coming from friendship, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 from insight, from our mindfulness practice, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that is a very deep kind of joy. And we need that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And then there is inclusiveness. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We include all that is in us and we take care of what is going on, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but we don't set up an internal battle field. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So even we see part of ourselves is seemingly 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 causing us suffering, maybe doing something which brings us - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 makes us feel ashamed, or it is a bad habit, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or we've spoken to somebody in a bad way, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we somehow have to still have compassion for that part of us too, and say, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Okay, I accept. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I accept everything that is there, I love and accept myself just as I am. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I know that there are causes and conditions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for why it is like this right now. Maybe I'm frustrated with myself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I also accept my frustration with myself. Okay, I'm frustrated with myself. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So whatever is there, you say, Okay, I get it. If you are there, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you are there for a reason. And I accept you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It doesn't mean we have to be again overwhelmed, or pushed, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but we accept and we smile to that. An d we try to generate stability 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so we can be with that part of ourselves without being carried away. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And so too with our relationships with other people, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and when we get frustrated and upset with other people, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to have this capacity to include and to stay with, to be there for each other. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And there is 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in the Discourse on Love, we are invited to extend our love to all beings 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 across the entire cosmos. It's very grand. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 A new chant that Thay Phap Linh has been doing with a group of us 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is on the CD, a new chanting CD. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm very embarrassed with the video they made to go with that, by the way. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I don't know if anybody saw it, but I got very self-conscious seeing myself, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 To look like very, very sincere. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Anyway, on this chant, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there is the line, 'showing love and concern for 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as for our very own family'. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So bringing that spirit of being concerned for 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 anybody we meet 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as if they were our own family. That is the spirit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And it's not totally beyond our capacity. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We know when we are in a good place we can have that openness of heart. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There is a quote I heard about 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a husband whose wife came back after being on a Buddhist retreat. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And the husband was asked, 'Sorry, have you seen any change in your wife 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 since she came back? - Yes, she is in love with the whole universe, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but nobody in particular.' 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And I think that ment 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we have to be careful to just be in this place of thinking about 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the grand love for everything, but then we don't actually apply it to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what is this relationship going on right now. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Yes, I can't deal with this one, but, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I love - I feel so much for all the suffering in the world, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but I can't deal with you. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So that is also why a sangha is important. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 We meet the - It is where the rubber hits the world, hits the real, we rub it. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The expression is, the chopsticks we use, to clean chopsticks 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you get a bunch and you rub them all together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 rub and then clean them individually. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It is a good image. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Yes, I was going to share something. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I have emailed Christiana Figueres. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She is the lady that brought together 195 countries 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for the Paris Climate Change Agreement. Do you remember her? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She has been to Plum Village quite a few times, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and she has spoken quite a few times to young Wake Up groups 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that were here when we had a Wake Up retreats. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She has come with her daughter. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And she loves Plum Village. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But when she was doing the work, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I emailed her to just check if she was Okay that I share this story. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Because when she was in the middle of her work 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of bringing together these countries 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for the Paris, they call it, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is it COP 21? Yes. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 COP 24 is going on right now in Poland. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it is a momentous thing that she achieved, and it sets, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 gave everybody quite a sense of Okay, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 at least these countries coming together, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 there is a certain sangha harmony in the world to take climate change 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as an issue to really do something. And it was a great start that was - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In all of the other previous times, we couldn't get to the starting block. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So it was a wonderful thing she was able to achieve, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and she did it with Thay's teachings. And she practised listening. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She said that was the main factor that helped to get to that. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 This listening to really understanding what was the situation, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 what was the obstacles for these countries, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 be they Saudi Arabia, China, etcetera. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But there was a period in that build up of five years leading up to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 2015 Paris, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 when she had a crisis, a personal crisis. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And she was in Bonn at that time, in Germany, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and she somehow, miraculously found out about Plum Village. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She knew nothing before about Plum Village. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And she knew she needed to go somewhere. She was very, very - 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Yeah, in a crisis. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And she found the EIAB, our centre in Germany, it was close enough 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and she made an emergency booking. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And she just went. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Nobody knew who she was. She said to us that it saved her. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It really saved her. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 And that the Vietnamese sisters, with their kindness, that were there, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she was staying in the sister's place, they don't know what they did for me. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 They didn't know who I was. She is a retreatant. What else do you need to know? 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 It's probably good sometimes we don't know who is here. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I may get scared. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 (Laughter) 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 But it- 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So just the simple kindness, and the joy, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 was enough to support and get her back into a good place.