WEBVTT 00:00:00.571 --> 00:00:03.658 The verse that comes to my mind here 00:00:03.658 --> 00:00:05.674 as I was thinking about what I might share 00:00:05.674 --> 00:00:06.878 in a practical way, 00:00:06.878 --> 00:00:09.142 with not only the two couples, 00:00:09.142 --> 00:00:12.942 but everyone else here that's married, 00:00:12.942 --> 00:00:17.647 is taken from Ecclesiastes 3:7. 00:00:17.647 --> 00:00:20.284 It says, "There is a time to be silent, 00:00:20.284 --> 00:00:23.232 and a time to speak." 00:00:23.232 --> 00:00:27.095 And I'm thinking of this in the realm 00:00:27.095 --> 00:00:30.715 of the necessity for communication. 00:00:30.715 --> 00:00:32.660 There's a time to be silent, 00:00:32.660 --> 00:00:34.850 and then in my application here, 00:00:34.850 --> 00:00:39.975 that silence is the silence of listening. 00:00:39.975 --> 00:00:42.396 Listening skills. 00:00:42.396 --> 00:00:44.148 And there's a time to speak 00:00:44.148 --> 00:00:49.163 which would be the communicative skills. 00:00:49.163 --> 00:00:50.791 There's a time for both of those 00:00:50.791 --> 00:00:53.562 in the necessity of communication. 00:00:53.562 --> 00:00:56.527 And in the Bible, the word "speak" 00:00:56.527 --> 00:01:01.342 is used 454 times. 00:01:01.342 --> 00:01:03.776 So that's a lot of communication 00:01:03.776 --> 00:01:06.997 advocated in the Bible. 00:01:06.997 --> 00:01:11.411 And in the realm of a living, vital, 00:01:11.411 --> 00:01:13.404 working marriage, 00:01:13.404 --> 00:01:18.069 communication is so important. 00:01:18.069 --> 00:01:23.468 You know, we can fall to silence - 00:01:23.468 --> 00:01:26.043 maybe as a defensive mechanism. 00:01:26.043 --> 00:01:27.962 We withdraw. 00:01:27.962 --> 00:01:30.863 But silence just builds walls, doesn't it? 00:01:30.863 --> 00:01:33.350 We've used those terms before, surely - 00:01:33.350 --> 00:01:36.284 a wall of silence? 00:01:36.284 --> 00:01:39.043 We don't want that. 00:01:39.043 --> 00:01:44.842 Sometimes silence can be simply self-centered. 00:01:44.842 --> 00:01:46.249 It's about me. 00:01:46.249 --> 00:01:51.288 And I withdraw at other times. 00:01:51.288 --> 00:01:56.409 It can be defensive. 00:01:56.409 --> 00:02:00.887 Oh, just pulling back as a mechanism 00:02:00.887 --> 00:02:04.164 to defend myself in silence. 00:02:04.164 --> 00:02:06.884 Other times, it can actually be 00:02:06.884 --> 00:02:08.796 an offensive weapon. 00:02:08.796 --> 00:02:11.814 You know, the cold shoulder of silence. 00:02:11.814 --> 00:02:16.543 But when we need to speak, 00:02:16.543 --> 00:02:18.359 there's a positive duty 00:02:18.359 --> 00:02:20.898 to talk things out. 00:02:20.898 --> 00:02:23.411 You've got problems that need to be addressed. 00:02:23.411 --> 00:02:24.734 You've got to listen. 00:02:24.734 --> 00:02:26.582 You've got to speak. 00:02:26.582 --> 00:02:28.691 You've got decisions that need to be made. 00:02:28.691 --> 00:02:29.862 You've got to listen. 00:02:29.862 --> 00:02:32.259 You've got to speak. 00:02:32.259 --> 00:02:37.466 You need to express needs and desires. 00:02:37.466 --> 00:02:40.113 You've got to communicate that. 00:02:40.113 --> 00:02:44.483 And yes, sometimes, dissatisfaction's, right? 00:02:44.483 --> 00:02:49.014 You've got to know when to be silent and listen, 00:02:49.014 --> 00:02:50.561 as well as when to speak, 00:02:50.561 --> 00:02:52.910 because no one's telepathic. 00:02:52.910 --> 00:02:54.248 We can't read minds. 00:02:54.248 --> 00:02:56.949 Sometimes, I think my wife is almost there, 00:02:56.949 --> 00:03:00.251 where she can, 00:03:00.251 --> 00:03:01.591 but the reality is, 00:03:01.591 --> 00:03:03.266 we can't read each other's minds. 00:03:03.266 --> 00:03:06.394 We've got to communicate, right? 00:03:06.394 --> 00:03:10.146 And so that's the thought on my mind 00:03:10.146 --> 00:03:12.424 here this morning. 00:03:12.424 --> 00:03:14.438 There's a time to be silent, 00:03:14.438 --> 00:03:16.538 and there's a time to speak. 00:03:16.538 --> 00:03:19.177 And so from this day forward, 00:03:19.177 --> 00:03:20.744 going forward from here, 00:03:20.744 --> 00:03:23.449 you guys have got to get together and talk. 00:03:23.449 --> 00:03:26.209 Talk about things. 00:03:26.209 --> 00:03:30.352 It's so vital. 00:03:30.352 --> 00:03:31.503 Think about this. 00:03:31.503 --> 00:03:35.571 It's worthwhile to note. 00:03:35.571 --> 00:03:38.376 With the Tower of Babel, 00:03:38.376 --> 00:03:44.347 all God did was break down their communication. 00:03:44.347 --> 00:03:46.189 That was all He had to do. 00:03:46.189 --> 00:03:48.336 He changed language, 00:03:48.336 --> 00:03:50.227 and so now, they're no longer 00:03:50.227 --> 00:03:52.146 able to communicate. 00:03:52.146 --> 00:03:54.569 And whenever you're not able to communicate, 00:03:54.569 --> 00:03:56.110 then anything constructive 00:03:56.110 --> 00:03:59.017 goes out the window. 00:03:59.017 --> 00:04:00.917 So, a time to be silent 00:04:00.917 --> 00:04:03.425 and a time to speak.