0:00:00.571,0:00:03.658
The verse that comes to my mind here

0:00:03.658,0:00:05.674
as I was thinking about what I might share

0:00:05.674,0:00:06.878
in a practical way,

0:00:06.878,0:00:09.142
with not only the two couples,

0:00:09.142,0:00:12.942
but everyone else here that's married,

0:00:12.942,0:00:17.647
is taken from Ecclesiastes 3:7.

0:00:17.647,0:00:20.284
It says, "There is a time to be silent,

0:00:20.284,0:00:23.232
and a time to speak."

0:00:23.232,0:00:27.095
And I'm thinking of this in the realm

0:00:27.095,0:00:30.715
of the necessity for communication.

0:00:30.715,0:00:32.660
There's a time to be silent,

0:00:32.660,0:00:34.850
and then in my application here,

0:00:34.850,0:00:39.975
that silence is the silence of listening.

0:00:39.975,0:00:42.396
Listening skills.

0:00:42.396,0:00:44.148
And there's a time to speak

0:00:44.148,0:00:49.163
which would be the communicative skills.

0:00:49.163,0:00:50.791
There's a time for both of those

0:00:50.791,0:00:53.562
in the necessity of communication.

0:00:53.562,0:00:56.527
And in the Bible, the word "speak"

0:00:56.527,0:01:01.342
is used 454 times.

0:01:01.342,0:01:03.776
So that's a lot of communication

0:01:03.776,0:01:06.997
advocated in the Bible.

0:01:06.997,0:01:11.411
And in the realm of a living, vital,

0:01:11.411,0:01:13.404
working marriage,

0:01:13.404,0:01:18.069
communication is so important.

0:01:18.069,0:01:23.468
You know, we can fall to silence -

0:01:23.468,0:01:26.043
maybe as a defensive mechanism.

0:01:26.043,0:01:27.962
We withdraw.

0:01:27.962,0:01:30.863
But silence just builds walls, doesn't it?

0:01:30.863,0:01:33.350
We've used those terms before, surely -

0:01:33.350,0:01:36.284
a wall of silence?

0:01:36.284,0:01:39.043
We don't want that.

0:01:39.043,0:01:44.842
Sometimes silence can [br]be simply self-centered.

0:01:44.842,0:01:46.249
It's about me.

0:01:46.249,0:01:51.288
And I withdraw at other times.

0:01:51.288,0:01:56.409
It can be defensive.

0:01:56.409,0:02:00.887
Oh, just pulling back as a mechanism

0:02:00.887,0:02:04.164
to defend myself in silence.

0:02:04.164,0:02:06.884
Other times, it can actually be

0:02:06.884,0:02:08.796
an offensive weapon.

0:02:08.796,0:02:11.814
You know, the cold shoulder of silence.

0:02:11.814,0:02:16.543
But when we need to speak,

0:02:16.543,0:02:18.359
there's a positive duty

0:02:18.359,0:02:20.898
to talk things out.

0:02:20.898,0:02:23.411
You've got problems that [br]need to be addressed.

0:02:23.411,0:02:24.734
You've got to listen.

0:02:24.734,0:02:26.582
You've got to speak.

0:02:26.582,0:02:28.691
You've got decisions that need to be made.

0:02:28.691,0:02:29.862
You've got to listen.

0:02:29.862,0:02:32.259
You've got to speak.

0:02:32.259,0:02:37.466
You need to express needs and desires.

0:02:37.466,0:02:40.113
You've got to communicate that.

0:02:40.113,0:02:44.483
And yes, sometimes, [br]dissatisfaction's, right?

0:02:44.483,0:02:49.014
You've got to know when [br]to be silent and listen,

0:02:49.014,0:02:50.561
as well as when to speak,

0:02:50.561,0:02:52.910
because no one's telepathic.

0:02:52.910,0:02:54.248
We can't read minds.

0:02:54.248,0:02:56.949
Sometimes, I think my [br]wife is almost there,

0:02:56.949,0:03:00.251
where she can,

0:03:00.251,0:03:01.591
but the reality is,

0:03:01.591,0:03:03.266
we can't read each other's minds.

0:03:03.266,0:03:06.394
We've got to communicate, right?

0:03:06.394,0:03:10.146
And so that's the thought on my mind

0:03:10.146,0:03:12.424
here this morning.

0:03:12.424,0:03:14.438
There's a time to be silent,

0:03:14.438,0:03:16.538
and there's a time to speak.

0:03:16.538,0:03:19.177
And so from this day forward,

0:03:19.177,0:03:20.744
going forward from here,

0:03:20.744,0:03:23.449
you guys have got [br]to get together and talk.

0:03:23.449,0:03:26.209
Talk about things.

0:03:26.209,0:03:30.352
It's so vital.

0:03:30.352,0:03:31.503
Think about this.

0:03:31.503,0:03:35.571
It's worthwhile to note.

0:03:35.571,0:03:38.376
With the Tower of Babel,

0:03:38.376,0:03:44.347
all God did was break [br]down their communication.

0:03:44.347,0:03:46.189
That was all He had to do.

0:03:46.189,0:03:48.336
He changed language,

0:03:48.336,0:03:50.227
and so now, they're no longer

0:03:50.227,0:03:52.146
able to communicate.

0:03:52.146,0:03:54.569
And whenever you're not [br]able to communicate,

0:03:54.569,0:03:56.110
then anything constructive

0:03:56.110,0:03:59.017
goes out the window.

0:03:59.017,0:04:00.917
So, a time to be silent

0:04:00.917,0:04:03.425
and a time to speak.