0:00:04.792,0:00:06.434 Hello. 0:00:06.458,0:00:07.726 Hey. 0:00:07.750,0:00:09.184 (Laughter) 0:00:09.208,0:00:10.684 As you just heard, 0:00:10.708,0:00:12.434 my name is D-L Stewart 0:00:12.458,0:00:16.559 and I'm a faculty member here on campus[br]at Colorado State University. 0:00:16.583,0:00:20.018 But what's most important[br]for you to understand about me right now 0:00:20.042,0:00:22.809 is that I identify as both Black 0:00:22.833,0:00:25.292 and as transgender, or trans. 0:00:26.208,0:00:29.917 And yes, I'm going to talk to you today[br]about how Black trans lives matter. 0:00:30.875,0:00:32.226 As I do so, 0:00:32.250,0:00:35.434 I'm going to share[br]a few scenes from my own life, 0:00:35.458,0:00:37.393 mixed in with the ways 0:00:37.417,0:00:43.018 that race and gender have historically[br]and currently intersected 0:00:43.042,0:00:45.625 to shape the lives of Black trans people. 0:00:46.875,0:00:48.143 Ready? 0:00:48.167,0:00:49.601 Audience: Ready. 0:00:49.625,0:00:50.875 Scene one. 0:00:51.875,0:00:54.000 I am at home with myself. 0:00:54.917,0:00:57.809 My body, a sovereign country. 0:00:57.833,0:00:59.976 Sovereign meaning 0:01:00.000,0:01:01.958 it is superlative in quality. 0:01:02.958,0:01:05.559 Of the most exalted kind. 0:01:05.583,0:01:11.434 Having generalized curative powers[br]of an unqualified nature, 0:01:11.458,0:01:12.893 unmitigated, 0:01:12.917,0:01:14.309 paramount, 0:01:14.333,0:01:16.851 possessed of supreme power, 0:01:16.875,0:01:20.018 unlimited in extent, absolute. 0:01:20.042,0:01:22.351 Enjoying autonomy, 0:01:22.375,0:01:24.018 independent, 0:01:24.042,0:01:25.292 royal. 0:01:26.125,0:01:28.309 My body defies the restrictions 0:01:28.333,0:01:31.809 of a society consumed[br]by boxes and binaries 0:01:31.833,0:01:34.893 and "are you a boy or a girl?" 0:01:34.917,0:01:37.018 Independent of such conventions, 0:01:37.042,0:01:39.809 my body clings instead[br]to the long ago lore 0:01:39.833,0:01:42.101 that understood its magic. 0:01:42.125,0:01:44.625 I contain multitudes. 0:01:45.792,0:01:48.434 From this supreme power to name myself, 0:01:48.458,0:01:51.434 define myself and be myself, 0:01:51.458,0:01:53.809 I stake a claim to myself 0:01:53.833,0:01:56.101 and organize my resistance. 0:01:56.125,0:02:01.750 A resistance that boldly proclaims[br]that Black trans lives matter. 0:02:03.083,0:02:05.643 My body is a sovereign country 0:02:05.667,0:02:08.167 and my first site of resistance. 0:02:09.250,0:02:10.500 End scene. 0:02:12.375,0:02:16.583 To say that Black trans lives matter[br]is a claim to sovereignty. 0:02:18.542,0:02:22.684 As much as Black Girl Magic,[br]and #transisbrilliant, 0:02:22.708,0:02:27.083 Black Trans Lives Matter[br]is also a chorus of resistance. 0:02:28.083,0:02:31.893 Because Black trans lives begin[br]by defining our bodies 0:02:31.917,0:02:33.893 as sovereign countries 0:02:33.917,0:02:37.059 from which we first begin[br]to resist the messages 0:02:37.083,0:02:38.917 that we have no place here. 0:02:43.333,0:02:46.917 We push whole movements forward[br]on the strength of our vision. 0:02:48.417,0:02:51.000 We set trends and create new worlds. 0:02:52.292,0:02:54.167 We are the vanguard. 0:02:55.250,0:02:58.476 Black trans lives have always mattered. 0:02:58.500,0:02:59.768 And yet, 0:02:59.792,0:03:02.518 caught at the time-traveling intersection 0:03:02.542,0:03:05.809 of Juneteenth emancipation celebration 0:03:05.833,0:03:09.059 and Stonewall's emancipation declaration, 0:03:09.083,0:03:13.333 Black trans lives[br]are both seen but yet unseen. 0:03:14.167,0:03:19.059 Unseen by the antiblackness[br]of queer and trans movements. 0:03:19.083,0:03:23.292 Unseen by the transphobia[br]and trans-antagonism of Black movements. 0:03:24.750,0:03:27.393 Our sovereignty and resistance are blocked 0:03:27.417,0:03:30.184 by layers of systems and structures 0:03:30.208,0:03:31.726 that have always sought 0:03:31.750,0:03:36.708 to contain, define and erase[br]Black trans bodies. 0:03:39.458,0:03:40.875 Scene two. 0:03:42.000,0:03:44.250 I am with my therapist. 0:03:45.917,0:03:50.101 The one whose testimony I must rely on 0:03:50.125,0:03:54.268 to declare me man enough[br]to have my documents changed. 0:03:54.292,0:03:56.583 The one who is to be believed. 0:03:57.625,0:04:01.268 Despite my own declarations[br]that I am not this body, 0:04:01.292,0:04:04.875 that this body is neither hers[br]nor yours to define, 0:04:06.250,0:04:08.268 I sit with this doctor. 0:04:08.292,0:04:11.059 And she fills out a form for me. 0:04:11.083,0:04:13.934 And when concerning what all I've done 0:04:13.958,0:04:16.333 to affirm my gender, 0:04:17.667,0:04:21.434 "Has the patient's gender presentation 0:04:21.458,0:04:24.208 aligned with their gender identity?" 0:04:25.875,0:04:29.559 She decides that my gender presentation 0:04:29.583,0:04:32.208 is more neutral, really. 0:04:33.917,0:04:35.934 While I sit there, mind you, 0:04:35.958,0:04:39.226 head to toe in clothing[br]from the section of the store 0:04:39.250,0:04:41.809 where the dress buttons[br]go down the right side, 0:04:41.833,0:04:45.393 and my pants give away[br]the number of inches around my waist, 0:04:45.417,0:04:48.559 and my hair is cut[br]like Denzel's "Man on Fire," 0:04:48.583,0:04:51.101 but I'm still more neutral. 0:04:51.125,0:04:52.375 Really? 0:04:53.333,0:04:55.601 Because she still sees, 0:04:55.625,0:04:57.101 and you see, 0:04:57.125,0:04:59.059 a Black woman. 0:04:59.083,0:05:04.333 And Black women's bodies[br]are always already made genderless. 0:05:06.667,0:05:07.958 End scene. 0:05:09.542,0:05:12.309 From mammy and Sapphire, 0:05:12.333,0:05:14.893 to Mandingo and Sambo, 0:05:14.917,0:05:19.559 Black bodies and our genders[br]have been caught in the White imagination. 0:05:19.583,0:05:22.518 And the imagination[br]of whiteness is fanciful, 0:05:22.542,0:05:27.518 and powerful enough[br]to turn its fancies into realities. 0:05:27.542,0:05:29.643 Imagined as a thing, 0:05:29.667,0:05:32.268 we were made to become that thing 0:05:32.292,0:05:35.851 and so we have been bred like horses, 0:05:35.875,0:05:38.559 fed like turtles to alligators, 0:05:38.583,0:05:40.184 branded like cattle, 0:05:40.208,0:05:41.726 milked like [unclear], 0:05:41.750,0:05:44.292 made into oxen to plow. 0:05:45.542,0:05:47.684 Gender did not matter, 0:05:47.708,0:05:50.143 so long as our body parts, 0:05:50.167,0:05:52.726 our arms and legs and backs, 0:05:52.750,0:05:54.268 our breasts and genitalia 0:05:54.292,0:05:56.292 could be turned into profit. 0:05:57.917,0:06:00.851 The Black body was made not White 0:06:00.875,0:06:03.167 and therefore not worthy of gender. 0:06:04.167,0:06:06.601 And under the weight of the gentile tool 0:06:06.625,0:06:10.434 and virginal lace that dressed[br]plantation mistresses, 0:06:10.458,0:06:14.226 Black femininity has always been denied. 0:06:14.250,0:06:18.726 Instead, she is either beast or porn star. 0:06:18.750,0:06:21.875 Neither a proper gender, dehumanized. 0:06:23.625,0:06:28.268 Made a social threat[br]that endangers civility. 0:06:28.292,0:06:31.208 That puts civilization in danger. 0:06:32.458,0:06:36.101 The angry Black woman cannot be escaped. 0:06:36.125,0:06:39.250 Not even by a first lady[br]of these United States. 0:06:41.333,0:06:44.393 Likewise, ill-suited for chivalry, 0:06:44.417,0:06:48.018 and outmatched as masters[br]and captains of fate, 0:06:48.042,0:06:50.101 Black manhood lays flaccid 0:06:50.125,0:06:52.417 in the hands of White man's dominance. 0:06:53.917,0:06:56.434 Body measurements taken, 0:06:56.458,0:06:58.393 speed measured, 0:06:58.417,0:07:01.184 draft pick forecasted. 0:07:01.208,0:07:03.208 This is the NFL combine. 0:07:04.792,0:07:07.018 Body measurements taken, 0:07:07.042,0:07:10.934 teeth and body cavities inspected, 0:07:10.958,0:07:13.226 number assigned. 0:07:13.250,0:07:15.250 This is the prison intake room. 0:07:17.125,0:07:18.917 Body measurements taken, 0:07:21.333,0:07:24.684 talents and abilities advertised, 0:07:24.708,0:07:28.518 teeth and body cavities inspected, 0:07:28.542,0:07:31.750 name and value assigned. 0:07:33.458,0:07:35.458 This is a slave's bill of sale. 0:07:37.917,0:07:41.559 Made either stud or farcy[br]is not for his own pleasure, 0:07:41.583,0:07:45.434 but rather for profit and jest. 0:07:45.458,0:07:48.643 Athletes and comics 0:07:48.667,0:07:50.726 contained. 0:07:50.750,0:07:52.750 Made not a threat. 0:07:55.083,0:07:57.809 "My gender is Black," said Hari Ziyad, 0:07:57.833,0:08:01.601 because Black bodies[br]and our genders have been caught 0:08:01.625,0:08:03.018 in the White imagination, 0:08:03.042,0:08:06.018 and we have always been transgressive. 0:08:06.042,0:08:08.309 Transgressive meaning 0:08:08.333,0:08:15.018 a violation of accepted and imposed[br]boundaries of social acceptability. 0:08:15.042,0:08:17.893 Blackness is transgressive. 0:08:17.917,0:08:20.643 And once set free 0:08:20.667,0:08:22.851 from social acceptability, 0:08:22.875,0:08:27.542 blackness challenges the limitations[br]of what gender can be. 0:08:28.917,0:08:31.125 We have always been fugitives here. 0:08:32.708,0:08:35.434 Escaping from gender surveillance 0:08:35.458,0:08:37.393 to claim our sovereignty 0:08:37.417,0:08:40.184 and right to exist and to live free, 0:08:40.208,0:08:42.226 to proclaim as beautiful 0:08:42.250,0:08:43.934 that which was made ugly, 0:08:43.958,0:08:45.684 to defy convention, 0:08:45.708,0:08:52.184 Black lives and trans lives[br]and Black trans lives. 0:08:52.208,0:08:54.184 And yet, in this world, that fact 0:08:54.208,0:08:57.018 that Black trans lives make a difference, 0:08:57.042,0:08:58.559 make differences, 0:08:58.583,0:09:02.643 and make a matter of mattering[br]is doused by the fire hoses 0:09:02.667,0:09:05.184 of past and current denials 0:09:05.208,0:09:07.750 of our rights to exist and resist. 0:09:08.667,0:09:11.101 We must fight to be seen 0:09:11.125,0:09:14.059 as we see through fences 0:09:14.083,0:09:16.583 into the play yards[br]that we are kept out of. 0:09:18.542,0:09:20.726 Scene three. 0:09:20.750,0:09:22.934 I am at school. 0:09:22.958,0:09:26.309 The bell rings, it's recess. 0:09:26.333,0:09:28.059 We line up to go outside. 0:09:28.083,0:09:30.768 Those made boys on one side, 0:09:30.792,0:09:33.125 those made girls on the other. 0:09:34.000,0:09:36.309 We file out of the doors. 0:09:36.333,0:09:39.809 The boys stopping[br]to fill in the closed off street. 0:09:39.833,0:09:42.393 The girls and I, 0:09:42.417,0:09:44.268 walking across the street. 0:09:44.292,0:09:46.958 "Keep your eyes[br]straight ahead," we are told. 0:09:48.000,0:09:50.893 Because there's a park across the street. 0:09:50.917,0:09:54.726 But there is a wrought iron fence[br]that encloses that park. 0:09:54.750,0:09:58.125 This is where the girls and I play. 0:09:59.458,0:10:02.268 Mostly, I stand at the fence and watch, 0:10:02.292,0:10:05.601 as my fellows play ball in the street, 0:10:05.625,0:10:07.226 and be loud, 0:10:07.250,0:10:08.851 and be rough, 0:10:08.875,0:10:10.643 and be sweaty, 0:10:10.667,0:10:13.833 and I am behind the fence. 0:10:19.333,0:10:21.542 Accused of thinking naughty thoughts. 0:10:22.708,0:10:24.417 They have no idea. 0:10:25.625,0:10:27.125 End scene. 0:10:28.625,0:10:32.184 Sissified and bulldaggered,[br]we are all made up. 0:10:32.208,0:10:35.518 Just boys in dresses and girls in suits, 0:10:35.542,0:10:37.476 the Black transgressive body 0:10:37.500,0:10:40.184 caught in fantasies of boxes and binaries 0:10:40.208,0:10:43.809 that make our genitalia[br]representative of our gender, 0:10:43.833,0:10:46.601 and our mannerisms our sexuality. 0:10:46.625,0:10:51.643 Black trans lives are therefore[br]written off as merely gay effeminate 0:10:51.667,0:10:53.518 or lesbian butch. 0:10:53.542,0:10:57.934 And the overlay of femininity[br]on bodies marked as male, 0:10:57.958,0:10:59.268 and therefore as man, 0:10:59.292,0:11:01.143 adheres like a "kick me" sign, 0:11:01.167,0:11:03.750 except the consequences[br]are much more deadly. 0:11:04.833,0:11:09.958 The majority of trans people murdered[br]in this country are Black trans women. 0:11:11.417,0:11:15.500 Because when manhood[br]is located between one's legs, 0:11:16.458,0:11:19.601 and defined in opposition to womanhood, 0:11:19.625,0:11:21.643 what's between one's legs 0:11:21.667,0:11:25.643 cannot be seen as having anything[br]in common with womanhood. 0:11:25.667,0:11:29.309 And this same acidic wash[br]serves to blanch trans masculinity, 0:11:29.333,0:11:31.726 making it fade into nothingness. 0:11:31.750,0:11:35.059 Black trans men[br]become illusions of manhood, 0:11:35.083,0:11:39.708 women merely playing at being men[br]because you can't get a real man. 0:11:44.250,0:11:47.351 Forever put in our place, 0:11:47.375,0:11:49.750 we are indelibly marked as "woman." 0:11:51.000,0:11:55.184 And at best, the looming threat[br]of Black trans manhood 0:11:55.208,0:11:58.101 is contained, inoculated, 0:11:58.125,0:12:00.625 made more neutral, really. 0:12:02.667,0:12:04.434 Scene four. 0:12:04.458,0:12:06.292 I am with my therapist. 0:12:07.125,0:12:08.893 I tell her what I think about, 0:12:08.917,0:12:13.375 as my body begins to slowly morph[br]into another version of itself. 0:12:17.125,0:12:20.976 What will happen as I move 0:12:21.000,0:12:25.476 from the social threat[br]of angry Black womanhood 0:12:25.500,0:12:28.768 to the physical threat[br]of looming Black manhood? 0:12:28.792,0:12:33.643 When will my neighbors[br]forget to recognize me and my pit bull? 0:12:33.667,0:12:35.809 They've seen us nearly every day, 0:12:35.833,0:12:37.684 predawn or after twilight, 0:12:37.708,0:12:40.500 for what will have been[br]over two years by then? 0:12:41.750,0:12:44.226 When and how soon 0:12:44.250,0:12:46.851 after I am no longer misgendered woman 0:12:46.875,0:12:49.809 will the cops be called[br]to come and contain 0:12:49.833,0:12:51.833 and erase my presence? 0:12:52.750,0:12:55.726 How soon before the purse clutching, 0:12:55.750,0:12:57.750 the sidewalk crossing? 0:12:59.042,0:13:01.833 What does it mean to become a brute? 0:13:02.792,0:13:05.917 To turn my body[br]into another kind of threat? 0:13:08.875,0:13:11.500 She's stunned that I'm already[br]recognizing this. 0:13:12.458,0:13:14.083 I can't afford not to. 0:13:15.083,0:13:16.375 End scene. 0:13:17.292,0:13:21.292 Who can see me and my Black trans kin[br]in the skin we are in? 0:13:23.083,0:13:24.559 Who dares to love us, 0:13:24.583,0:13:26.309 who holds us close? 0:13:26.333,0:13:29.125 To whom do we matter other to ourselves? 0:13:30.792,0:13:33.518 We're not looking for saviors. 0:13:33.542,0:13:35.768 We have each other. 0:13:35.792,0:13:37.893 As Lilla Watson said, 0:13:37.917,0:13:41.559 "If you have come here to help me,[br]you are wasting your time. 0:13:41.583,0:13:43.643 But if you have come because you recognize 0:13:43.667,0:13:45.768 your liberation is bound up in mine, 0:13:45.792,0:13:48.143 then let us work together." 0:13:48.167,0:13:52.684 Let us work together[br]to make Black trans lives matter. 0:13:52.708,0:13:54.809 The lived experience of Black trans people 0:13:54.833,0:13:56.434 out into the world. 0:13:56.458,0:14:00.476 And if you believe that your liberation[br]is bound up with mine, 0:14:00.500,0:14:01.976 then I invite you 0:14:02.000,0:14:05.226 to make Black Trans Lives Matter[br]your personal ethic 0:14:05.250,0:14:07.101 by being transformative, 0:14:07.125,0:14:09.851 loudly and mindfully. 0:14:09.875,0:14:11.768 You can do that in three ways. 0:14:11.792,0:14:15.125 Transform your thinking[br]about blackness and gender. 0:14:16.083,0:14:18.893 Be loud by taking the risk 0:14:18.917,0:14:23.809 to confront false assumptions[br]and other's fears and biases. 0:14:23.833,0:14:27.934 Be mindful and pay attention and believe 0:14:27.958,0:14:31.042 what Black trans people say[br]about our own lives. 0:14:32.375,0:14:34.476 Being transformative loudly and mindfully 0:14:34.500,0:14:35.851 takes practice. 0:14:35.875,0:14:38.559 Just like getting[br]someone's pronouns right. 0:14:38.583,0:14:41.750 Mine are they, them, their,[br]and he, him, his, by the way. 0:14:43.542,0:14:45.309 And getting someone's pronouns right 0:14:45.333,0:14:49.018 and being transformative loudly[br]and mindfully matters. 0:14:49.042,0:14:52.101 Because Black trans lives matter. 0:14:52.125,0:14:54.476 My life matters. 0:14:54.500,0:14:56.976 My body is a sovereign country, 0:14:57.000,0:14:59.458 and my first site of resistance. 0:15:00.583,0:15:05.458 (Applause)