0:00:01.175,0:00:05.063
I wanted to be a psychologist[br]since I was a teenager,

0:00:05.087,0:00:07.821
and I spent years pursuing that one goal.

0:00:08.429,0:00:11.746
I opened my private practice[br]as soon as I was licensed.

0:00:12.469,0:00:16.507
It was a risky move, not getting a day job[br]at a hospital or a clinic,

0:00:16.531,0:00:19.426
but within one year,[br]my practice was doing quite well

0:00:19.802,0:00:23.194
and I was making more money[br]than I ever made before.

0:00:23.691,0:00:26.699
Of course, I was a full-time[br]student my entire life.

0:00:26.723,0:00:27.766
(Laughter)

0:00:27.790,0:00:29.387
I could have worked at McDonald's

0:00:29.411,0:00:32.191
and made more money[br]than I ever made before.

0:00:32.215,0:00:36.089
That one-year mark[br]came on a Friday night in July.

0:00:36.394,0:00:38.053
I walked home to my apartment

0:00:38.077,0:00:41.926
and got into the elevator with a neighbor[br]who was a doctor in the ER.

0:00:42.529,0:00:44.077
The elevator rose,

0:00:44.101,0:00:47.323
then it shuddered[br]and stalled between floors.

0:00:47.347,0:00:50.395
And the man who dealt[br]with emergencies for a living

0:00:50.419,0:00:53.313
began poking at the buttons[br]and banging on the door, saying,

0:00:53.337,0:00:55.662
"This is my nightmare,[br]this is my nightmare!"

0:00:56.061,0:00:58.101
And I was like,[br]"And this is my nightmare."

0:00:58.125,0:01:01.074
(Laughter)

0:01:01.577,0:01:03.908
I felt terrible afterwards, though.

0:01:03.932,0:01:05.718
Because I wasn't panicked

0:01:05.742,0:01:08.488
and I knew what to say to calm him down.

0:01:08.512,0:01:10.757
I was just too depleted to do it,

0:01:10.781,0:01:15.536
I had nothing left to give,[br]and that confused me.

0:01:16.167,0:01:18.643
After all, I was finally living my dream,

0:01:18.667,0:01:20.635
so why wasn't I happy?

0:01:21.278,0:01:23.833
Why did I feel so burned out?

0:01:24.714,0:01:26.712
For a few terrible weeks,

0:01:26.736,0:01:29.609
I questioned whether I'd made a mistake.

0:01:29.633,0:01:32.276
What if I had chosen the wrong profession?

0:01:32.300,0:01:36.608
What if I had spent my entire life[br]pursuing the wrong career?

0:01:37.639,0:01:41.195
But then I realized, no,[br]I still loved psychology.

0:01:41.718,0:01:44.909
The problem wasn't the work[br]I did in my office.

0:01:45.260,0:01:48.847
It was the hours I spent[br]ruminating about work

0:01:48.871,0:01:50.148
when I was home.

0:01:50.172,0:01:52.244
I closed the door[br]to my office every night,

0:01:52.268,0:01:55.938
but the door in my head remained wide-open

0:01:55.962,0:01:58.028
and the stress just flooded in.

0:01:58.938,0:02:01.699
That's the interesting thing[br]about work stress.

0:02:02.033,0:02:05.498
We don't really experience[br]much of it at work.

0:02:05.522,0:02:06.822
We're too busy.

0:02:06.846,0:02:09.879
We experience it outside of work,

0:02:09.903,0:02:11.403
when we are commuting,

0:02:11.427,0:02:12.842
when we're home,

0:02:12.866,0:02:15.199
when we're trying to rejuvenate.

0:02:15.223,0:02:17.817
It is important to recover[br]in our spare time,

0:02:17.841,0:02:20.561
to de-stress and do things we enjoy,

0:02:20.585,0:02:24.649
and the biggest obstruction[br]we face in that regard is ruminating.

0:02:24.673,0:02:26.506
Because each time we do it,

0:02:26.530,0:02:29.760
we're actually activating[br]our stress response.

0:02:29.784,0:02:32.711
Now, to ruminate means to chew over.

0:02:33.014,0:02:36.185
The word refers[br]to how cows digest their food.

0:02:37.090,0:02:41.217
For those of you unfamiliar[br]with the joys of cow digestion,

0:02:41.241,0:02:42.787
cows chew,

0:02:42.811,0:02:44.082
then they swallow,

0:02:44.106,0:02:47.118
then they regurgitate it back up[br]and chew it again.

0:02:47.142,0:02:48.231
(Laughter)

0:02:48.255,0:02:49.415
It's disgusting.

0:02:49.439,0:02:50.446
(Laughter)

0:02:50.470,0:02:51.938
But it works for cows.

0:02:51.962,0:02:52.998
(Laughter)

0:02:53.022,0:02:55.419
It does not work for humans.

0:02:55.443,0:02:58.736
Because what we chew over[br]are the upsetting things,

0:02:58.760,0:03:00.434
the distressing things,

0:03:00.458,0:03:04.545
and we do it in ways[br]that are entirely unproductive.

0:03:04.934,0:03:09.014
It's the hours we spend[br]obsessing about tasks we didn't complete

0:03:09.038,0:03:12.307
or stewing about tensions[br]with a colleague,

0:03:12.331,0:03:14.208
or anxiously worrying about the future,

0:03:14.232,0:03:16.631
or second-guessing decisions we've made.

0:03:17.463,0:03:21.439
Now there's a lot of research[br]on how we think about work

0:03:21.463,0:03:23.812
when we are not at work,

0:03:23.836,0:03:26.236
and the findings are quite alarming.

0:03:26.589,0:03:27.948
Ruminating about work,

0:03:27.972,0:03:32.248
replaying the same thoughts and worries[br]over and over again,

0:03:32.272,0:03:37.827
significantly disrupts our ability[br]to recover and recharge in the off hours.

0:03:37.851,0:03:40.711
The more we ruminate about work[br]when we're home,

0:03:40.735,0:03:44.386
the more likely we are[br]to experience sleep disturbances,

0:03:44.410,0:03:46.647
to eat unhealthier foods

0:03:46.671,0:03:48.147
and to have worse moods.

0:03:48.171,0:03:52.663
It may even increase our risk[br]of cardiovascular disease

0:03:52.687,0:03:55.631
and of impairing[br]our executive functioning,

0:03:55.655,0:03:58.488
the very skill sets we need[br]to do our jobs well.

0:03:58.512,0:04:01.971
Not to mention the toll it takes[br]on our relationships and family lives,

0:04:01.995,0:04:06.035
because people around us can tell[br]we're checked out and preoccupied.

0:04:06.591,0:04:08.520
Now, those same studies found

0:04:08.544,0:04:11.456
that while ruminating[br]about work when we're home

0:04:11.480,0:04:13.933
damages our emotional well-being,

0:04:13.957,0:04:18.710
thinking about work in creative[br]or problem-solving ways does not.

0:04:19.116,0:04:23.267
Because those kinds of thinking[br]do not elicit emotional distress

0:04:23.291,0:04:26.148
and, more importantly,[br]they're in our control.

0:04:26.807,0:04:29.019
We can decide whether[br]to respond to an email

0:04:29.043,0:04:30.982
or leave it till morning,

0:04:31.006,0:04:34.521
or whether we want to brainstorm[br]about work projects that excite us.

0:04:35.085,0:04:37.653
But ruminations are involuntary.

0:04:38.217,0:04:39.417
They're intrusive.

0:04:39.741,0:04:42.527
They pop into our head[br]when we don't want them to.

0:04:42.551,0:04:45.797
They upset us when[br]we don't want to be upset.

0:04:45.821,0:04:49.868
They switch us on[br]when we are trying to switch off.

0:04:49.892,0:04:52.868
And they are very difficult to resist,

0:04:52.892,0:04:56.644
because thinking of all[br]our unfinished tasks feels urgent.

0:04:57.082,0:05:00.550
Anxiously worrying about the future[br]feels compelling.

0:05:01.069,0:05:05.149
Ruminating always feels[br]like we're doing something important,

0:05:05.173,0:05:07.828
when in fact, we're doing[br]something harmful.

0:05:08.134,0:05:10.934
And we all do it far more than we realize.

0:05:11.563,0:05:13.158
Back when I was burned out,

0:05:13.182,0:05:15.809
I decided to keep a journal for a week

0:05:15.833,0:05:19.918
and document exactly how much time[br]I spent ruminating.

0:05:19.942,0:05:22.411
And I was horrified by the results.

0:05:22.435,0:05:25.848
It was over 30 minutes a night[br]when I was trying to fall asleep.

0:05:26.157,0:05:29.561
My entire commute,[br]to and from my office --

0:05:29.585,0:05:31.553
that was 45 minutes a day.

0:05:32.125,0:05:34.331
Totally checked out for 20 minutes

0:05:34.355,0:05:36.926
during the dinner party[br]at a colleague's house.

0:05:36.950,0:05:38.418
Never got invited there again.

0:05:38.442,0:05:39.450
(Laughter)

0:05:39.474,0:05:43.172
And 90 minutes during[br]a friend's "talent show"

0:05:43.196,0:05:46.444
that, coincidentally, was 90 minutes long.

0:05:46.468,0:05:47.650
(Laughter)

0:05:47.674,0:05:51.912
In total, that week,[br]it was almost 14 hours.

0:05:52.484,0:05:54.913
That's how much "downtime" I was losing

0:05:54.937,0:05:57.966
to something that actually[br]increased my stress.

0:05:57.990,0:05:59.927
Try keeping a journal for one week.

0:05:59.951,0:06:01.484
See how much you do it.

0:06:02.085,0:06:05.363
That's what made me realize[br]that I still loved my work.

0:06:05.792,0:06:08.577
But ruminating was destroying that love

0:06:08.601,0:06:11.688
and it was destroying[br]my personal life, too.

0:06:11.712,0:06:14.085
So I read every study I could find,

0:06:14.109,0:06:16.958
and I went to war against my ruminations.

0:06:16.982,0:06:19.489
Now, habit change is hard.

0:06:19.513,0:06:23.434
It took real diligence to catch myself[br]ruminating each time,

0:06:23.458,0:06:27.037
and real consistency[br]to make the new habits stick.

0:06:27.061,0:06:28.951
But eventually, they did.

0:06:29.378,0:06:31.623
I won my war against ruminating,

0:06:31.647,0:06:34.629
and I'm here to tell you[br]how you can win yours.

0:06:35.235,0:06:38.480
First, you need clear guardrails.

0:06:38.823,0:06:41.506
You have to define[br]when you switch off every night,

0:06:41.530,0:06:43.228
when you stop working.

0:06:43.252,0:06:45.585
And you have to be strict about it.

0:06:45.950,0:06:51.248
The rule I made to myself at the time[br]was that I was done at 8pm.

0:06:51.617,0:06:54.196
And I forced myself to stick to it.

0:06:54.220,0:06:55.386
Now people say to me,

0:06:55.410,0:06:59.330
"Really? You didn't return[br]a single email after 8pm?

0:06:59.354,0:07:01.633
You didn't even look at your phone?"

0:07:01.657,0:07:03.775
No, not once.

0:07:04.292,0:07:06.791
Because it was the '90s,[br]we didn't have smartphones.

0:07:06.815,0:07:08.589
(Laughter)

0:07:08.613,0:07:11.518
I got my first smartphone in 2007.

0:07:11.542,0:07:13.439
You know, the iPhone had just come out,

0:07:13.463,0:07:16.240
and I wanted a phone[br]that was cool and hip.

0:07:16.264,0:07:17.915
I got a BlackBerry.

0:07:17.939,0:07:19.099
(Laughter)

0:07:19.123,0:07:20.297
I was excited, though,

0:07:20.321,0:07:23.654
you know, my first thought was,[br]"I get my emails wherever I am."

0:07:23.678,0:07:25.154
And 24 hours later,

0:07:25.178,0:07:27.757
I was like, "I get my emails[br]wherever I am."

0:07:27.781,0:07:28.931
(Laughter)

0:07:29.292,0:07:31.340
I mean, battling ruminations[br]was hard enough

0:07:31.364,0:07:33.228
when they just invaded our thoughts.

0:07:33.252,0:07:35.473
But now they have this Trojan horse,

0:07:35.497,0:07:37.244
our phones, to hide within.

0:07:37.268,0:07:40.283
And each time we just look[br]at our phone after hours,

0:07:40.307,0:07:42.006
we can be reminded of work

0:07:42.030,0:07:44.276
and ruminative thoughts can slip out

0:07:44.300,0:07:46.680
and slaughter our evening or weekend.

0:07:47.211,0:07:49.076
So, when you switch off,

0:07:49.100,0:07:51.393
switch off your email notifications.

0:07:51.417,0:07:54.354
And if you have to check them,[br]decide on when to do it,

0:07:54.378,0:07:56.352
so it doesn't interfere with your plans,

0:07:56.376,0:07:57.709
and do it only then.

0:07:58.449,0:08:03.186
Cell phones aren't the only way[br]technology is empowering rumination,

0:08:03.210,0:08:05.734
because we have[br]an even bigger fight coming.

0:08:06.211,0:08:10.755
Telecommuting has increased[br]115 percent over the past decade.

0:08:11.159,0:08:14.692
And it's expected to increase[br]even more dramatically going forward.

0:08:15.088,0:08:18.357
More and more of us[br]are losing our physical boundary

0:08:18.381,0:08:20.309
between work and home.

0:08:20.704,0:08:22.561
And that means that reminders of work

0:08:22.585,0:08:25.919
will be able to trigger ruminations[br]from anywhere in our home.

0:08:26.577,0:08:30.611
When we lack a physical boundary[br]between work and home,

0:08:30.635,0:08:33.270
we have to create a psychological one.

0:08:33.294,0:08:35.223
We have to trick our mind

0:08:35.247,0:08:39.222
into defining work and nonwork[br]times and spaces.

0:08:39.588,0:08:40.949
So here's how you do that.

0:08:40.973,0:08:44.901
First, create a defined[br]work zone in your home,

0:08:44.925,0:08:46.258
even if it's tiny,

0:08:46.282,0:08:48.082
and try to work only there.

0:08:48.711,0:08:50.750
Try not to work on the living room couch

0:08:50.774,0:08:51.939
or on the bed

0:08:51.963,0:08:54.227
because really, those areas[br]should be associated

0:08:54.251,0:08:56.173
with living and ... bedding.

0:08:56.838,0:08:57.838
(Laughter)

0:08:57.862,0:09:00.259
Next, when you're working from home,

0:09:00.283,0:09:03.053
wear clothes you only wear[br]when you're working.

0:09:03.077,0:09:04.602
And then at the end of the day,

0:09:04.626,0:09:05.823
change clothes,

0:09:05.847,0:09:09.553
and use music and lighting[br]to shift the atmosphere

0:09:09.577,0:09:11.535
from work to home.

0:09:11.559,0:09:12.860
Make it a ritual.

0:09:12.884,0:09:15.170
Now, some of you might think that's silly.

0:09:15.194,0:09:17.009
That changing clothes and lighting

0:09:17.033,0:09:19.646
will convince my mind[br]I'm no longer at work.

0:09:19.670,0:09:22.101
Trust me, your mind will fall for it.

0:09:22.125,0:09:24.746
Because we are really smart,[br]our mind is really stupid.

0:09:24.770,0:09:25.785
(Laughter)

0:09:25.809,0:09:28.296
It falls for random associations[br]all the time, right?

0:09:28.320,0:09:31.872
I mean, that's why Pavlov's dog[br]began drooling at the sound of a bell.

0:09:32.204,0:09:35.617
And why TED speakers begin sweating[br]at the sight of a red circle.

0:09:35.641,0:09:37.045
(Laughter)

0:09:37.069,0:09:38.720
Now those things will help,

0:09:38.744,0:09:41.022
but ruminations will still invade.

0:09:41.046,0:09:43.625
And when they do, you have to convert them

0:09:43.649,0:09:47.135
into productive forms of thinking,[br]like problem-solving.

0:09:47.611,0:09:49.857
My patient Sally is a good example.

0:09:49.881,0:09:52.929
Sally was given[br]the promotion of a lifetime,

0:09:52.953,0:09:54.778
but it came with a price.

0:09:54.802,0:09:57.024
She was no longer able[br]to pick up her daughter

0:09:57.048,0:09:58.237
from school every day,

0:09:58.261,0:10:00.062
and that broke her heart.

0:10:00.086,0:10:01.848
So she came up with a plan.

0:10:01.872,0:10:05.427
Every Tuesday and Thursday,[br]Sally left work early,

0:10:05.451,0:10:07.380
picked up her daughter from school,

0:10:07.404,0:10:11.797
played with her, fed her,[br]bathed her and put her to bed.

0:10:11.821,0:10:13.566
And then she went back to the office

0:10:13.590,0:10:16.057
and worked past midnight to catch up.

0:10:16.908,0:10:19.895
Only, Sally's rumination journal indicated

0:10:19.919,0:10:23.879
she spent almost every minute[br]of her quality time with her daughter

0:10:23.903,0:10:26.918
ruminating about how much[br]work she had to do.

0:10:26.942,0:10:30.894
Ruminations often deny us[br]our most precious moments.

0:10:31.657,0:10:34.848
Sally's rumination,[br]"I have so much work to do,"

0:10:34.872,0:10:36.198
is a very common one.

0:10:36.222,0:10:37.428
And like all of them,

0:10:37.452,0:10:39.364
it's useless and it's harmful,

0:10:39.388,0:10:43.054
because we'd never think it[br]when we're at work, getting stuff done.

0:10:43.452,0:10:45.458
We think it when we're outside of work,

0:10:45.482,0:10:48.553
when we're trying to relax[br]or do things that we find meaningful,

0:10:48.577,0:10:50.077
like playing with our children,

0:10:50.101,0:10:52.418
or having a date night with our partner.

0:10:53.038,0:10:56.329
To convert a ruminative thought[br]into a productive one,

0:10:56.353,0:10:59.353
you have to pose it[br]as a problem to be solved.

0:10:59.710,0:11:03.059
The problem-solving version[br]of "I have so much work to do"

0:11:03.083,0:11:04.773
is a scheduling question.

0:11:04.797,0:11:08.386
Like, "Where in my schedule can I fit[br]the tasks that are troubling me?"

0:11:08.775,0:11:12.878
Or, "What can I move in my schedule[br]to make room for this more urgent thing?"

0:11:12.902,0:11:17.053
Or even, "When do I have 15 minutes[br]to go over my schedule?"

0:11:17.673,0:11:20.680
All those are problems that can be solved.

0:11:21.109,0:11:23.847
"I have so much work to do" is not.

0:11:25.276,0:11:27.636
Battling rumination is hard,

0:11:27.660,0:11:29.708
but if you stick to your guardrails,

0:11:29.732,0:11:33.200
if you ritualize the transition[br]from work to home,

0:11:33.224,0:11:35.938
and if you train yourself[br]to convert ruminations

0:11:35.962,0:11:38.095
into productive forms of thinking,

0:11:38.119,0:11:39.269
you will succeed.

0:11:39.950,0:11:43.450
Banishing ruminations[br]truly enhanced my personal life,

0:11:43.474,0:11:46.156
but what it enhanced even more

0:11:46.180,0:11:49.688
was the joy and satisfaction[br]I get from my work.

0:11:50.442,0:11:54.029
Ground zero for creating[br]a healthy work-life balance

0:11:54.053,0:11:56.014
is not in the real world.

0:11:56.038,0:11:57.442
It's in our head.

0:11:57.466,0:11:58.866
It's with ruminating.

0:11:59.276,0:12:03.149
If you want to reduce your stress[br]and improve your quality of life,

0:12:03.173,0:12:07.000
you don't necessarily have to change[br]your hours or your job.

0:12:07.024,0:12:09.323
You just have to change how you think.

0:12:10.016,0:12:11.167
Thank you.

0:12:11.191,0:12:15.912
(Applause)