WEBVTT

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- Hey everybody.

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Today we're gonna talk about
depression and anxiety,

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and why they seem to be so connected.

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But before we jump into that,

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did you know I wrote a book?

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It's called Are u ok?

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And it's available for pre order now.

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In the book, I talk about all
things mental health related

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like what's the difference

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between mental health and mental illness?

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How do we diagnose depression and anxiety?

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What type of treatment should I get

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if I am struggling,

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and also how to manage
toxic relationships.

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So click the link at the
top of the description

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and pre order now.

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By pre ordering you get signed book plates

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and some special giveaways, so hop on it.

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Now let's jump into today's topic.

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Now, by simply watching
my diagnoses videos

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about depression and anxiety,

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you can easily think that
they are vastly different.

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On one hand a depressed person

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doesn't like doing anything they used to.

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They can feel hopeless and sad.

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And have changes in their
diet and sleep patterns.

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A person with anxiety can
feel like they're living

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in a state of extreme agitation,

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being on edge most of the day,

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and worrying about anything

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and everything happening in their life.

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These two mental illnesses

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seem to be on the opposite
ends of the spectrum,

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not related to one another at all.

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However, it's important to note

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that statistically speaking

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the most common form of depression

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is actually what we call
agitated depression,

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meaning that someone
will feel both hopeless,

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empty, and lack enjoyment,

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while also feeling on edge, irritable,

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and worrying about all things
going on in their life.

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Many of my patients who are struggling

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with agitated depression
feel like they're caught

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in a terrible cycle,
because they'll feel bad

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and lonely and empty, et cetera,

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then they'll pick a fight with someone

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who tries to help them or support them

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'cause they're just
feeling like total shit

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and then go right back
to feeling terrible again

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and that cycle just
goes and goes and goes.

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And many people also share
how they'll be tired all day

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feeling low, and completely unmotivated,

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but then at night they can't sleep.

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I even had a patient back in the day

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who struggled to stop her
mind from running through

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each and every conversation
she had had that day,

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and how she could have been better,

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more understanding, or less awkward.

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This can be exhausting,

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I know many of you told me the same thing,

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that you feel tired all day

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and then you can't sleep at night.

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Ugh, so annoying!

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Now it's not only the agitated depression

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that connects anxiety to depression.

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Research also shows that this link

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has more to do with how
those with depression

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and anxiety manage stress.

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Whenever we're bombarded
with the stress in our life

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those with anxiety and depression

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tend to deal with it through avoidance.

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Meaning when stress comes our way

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and we're pushed into our fight,
flight or freeze response,

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we choose flight.

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I mean think about it,

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neither depression nor
anxiety is decisive,

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confident or pushy.

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And to take it even further,

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anxiety is characterized by avoidance.

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I mean if we know something's
gonna make us anxious or upset

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we're gonna avoid it, obviously.

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And when depressed, we
don't think very highly

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of ourselves or our abilities,

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and therefore we tend to avoid situations

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or challenges, rather than jump right in.

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And in the therapy world
we call that withdrawal.

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So you can see that with anxiety

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your obsessions about
failure are fear laden.

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Whereas with depression,

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your rumination reflects
intense discouragement

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to the point of hopelessness of despair.

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But in both cases you're
feeling overwhelmed

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because of lack of self confidence

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and that's the real issue
behind feeling overwhelmed.

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Like, the root of the root.

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You know how I'm always talking,

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to get to the root of
the root of the issue.

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And so if that's the case
behind feeling like this

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it can in turn lead us to either anxiety,

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depression, or a veritable combination

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of these two painful feelings.

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Furthermore much of the symptoms

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of depression and anxiety
really do overlap.

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Here are just some of the symptoms

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you will see in both diagnoses:

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sleep disturbance, tearfulness,

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worry, loss of appetite,
loss of sex drive,

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lack of motivation, body aches,
difficulty concentrating,

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and that's just to name a few.

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So it is easy to see why many of us

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find ourselves toggling back and forth

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between depression to anxiety

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and even experiencing them
both at the same time.

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Or on the other hand,

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possibly being diagnosed with one

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when we really have the other.

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But like anything I talk about

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I always wanna end with what we can do

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to better manage the symptoms.

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So let's get into that.

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Oh, and also, I know that we have

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a lot of new community members.

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Welcome!

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So if you have a question or topic

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that you want me to talk about,

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please search my name and any keywords

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associated with your question or issue.

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I have over a thousand videos

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so chances are I've
already talked about it.

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Okay, now into the tips and tools.

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Number one, since our hypothesis

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is that lack of self confidence

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and our flight response
is what's leading us

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to having our anxious
or depressive symptoms,

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you knew this tip was coming,

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notice your self talk!

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It's so common that we
just believe our thoughts,

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like I'm lazy, or my feelings are stupid,

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or I'm not good enough.

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Start paying attention to how you speak

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to yourself and maybe start
using bridge statements.

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Bridge statements are things
that you say to yourself

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when the positive or
completely opposite things

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don't feel like real, right or attainable.

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So for example, if we're
struggling with the thought

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I'm not good enough, a
bridge statement would be

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I may not be as bad as I think
I am, I mean, it's possible.

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We don't have to say

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I'm amazing and I'm way more than enough

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I love myself, because
we won't believe that.

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Let's just be honest, right?

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And yes, you know, I've
talked about faking it

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'til I make it, and that
does help some people,

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but most of us need a
bridge to get us there.

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And so that's what those statements are.

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So I encourage you to give it a try.

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Try to notice the five most common

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negative thoughts you have, and argue back

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with some thoughtful bridge statements.

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And then after some time

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you'll be able to argue
back with positive ones,

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or better yet, maybe you won't even have

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those nasty thoughts at all anymore.

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Number two, getting into talk therapy.

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It can really be so helpful, I promise.

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Having someone we can go to to talk with

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who doesn't know anything other
than what we share with them

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can be so life changing.

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Now, obviously we need to make sure

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that we like our therapist,

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that we feel they're a good fit for us,

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but getting into talk therapy

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can help us better understand
our anxiety or depression.

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And make sure that we're
properly diagnosed.

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Remember I always talk
about how important it is

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to spend time with a clinician,

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meaning like therapist,
counselor, psychologist, whomever,

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we have to spend a lot of time with them

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before they can truly diagnose us.

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So allow yourself to make
sure they're a good fit

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and feel like they really listen to you

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and then talk about your diagnosis

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and make sure that you both agree on it.

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And the therapist can also help us

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manage those symptoms
that we're talking about.

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They find CBT to be a really
helpful style of therapy.

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So feel free to ask your therapist

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if they utilize that style as well.

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And if you're wondering what CBT even is,

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I'll link my video about it
in the description below.

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Tip number three, while
medication can not make us

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like ourselves or feel more confident

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it can help alleviate the other symptoms

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of anxiety or depression

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that we may be experiencing.

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I've talked about this a lot in the past

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but if we feel like we're
just drowning in the symptoms

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unable to even implement one of the tips

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that our therapist or other
mental health professional

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has given us, medication
can be that life raft,

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can help you get your head, you know,

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just above water enough so you
can finally breathe (sighs)

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and do the work that you're
gonna need to do to get better.

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And I do not encourage
just if you're wondering

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I don't encourage people
to only be on medication

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and not be in therapy,

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because medication when it
comes to mental health issues

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doesn't really fix anything.

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It merely masks the symptoms
that tell us something's wrong.

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And so working together,

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medication and therapy, I believe
to be the most beneficial.

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And research does too, just FYI.

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And fourth and finally, resourcing.

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Now I've been talking
about this more and more

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when it comes to trauma therapy,

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but I honestly believe that resourcing

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can be beneficial to anyone
working on themselves.

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Resourcing's really just a fancy way

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of saying we need to have
places, people, and things

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we can reach out to or do
when we start to feel bad.

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This could be a happy place
that we go to in our mind

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or petting an animal, if
that always calms us down.

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It works for me.

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Or even in your therapy appointments

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that place could be like a safe haven

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to go to in your mind or to
show up for your appointment.

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And the more resources
that we have the better

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and also making sure that these things

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we can do regardless of the time of day

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is really important,
too, because we all know

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nights can be the toughest.

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And yes these are similar
to distraction techniques

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or coping skills, but they're
just a little bit deeper.

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These need to be things or people

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that can help pull us out of
those negative thought spirals

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and keep us feeling
grounded fairly quickly.

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So take some time,

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consider what your resources
are and write them down

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so they're available when you need them.

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And I hope you found this video helpful.

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As always, let me know down
in those comments below

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how you experience the connection

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between anxiety and depression.

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Or if you think they're
completely different

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and not connected at all.

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How does it feel to you?

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And most importantly, what has helped you

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to better manage it?

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Thank you so much for watching

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and I will see you next time, bye.