- Hey everybody.

Today we're gonna talk about
depression and anxiety,

and why they seem to be so connected.

But before we jump into that,

did you know I wrote a book?

It's called Are u ok?

And it's available for pre order now.

In the book, I talk about all
things mental health related

like what's the difference

between mental health and mental illness?

How do we diagnose depression and anxiety?

What type of treatment should I get

if I am struggling,

and also how to manage
toxic relationships.

So click the link at the
top of the description

and pre order now.

By pre ordering you get signed book plates

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Now let's jump into today's topic.

Now, by simply watching
my diagnoses videos

about depression and anxiety,

you can easily think that
they are vastly different.

On one hand a depressed person

doesn't like doing anything they used to.

They can feel hopeless and sad.

And have changes in their
diet and sleep patterns.

A person with anxiety can
feel like they're living

in a state of extreme agitation,

being on edge most of the day,

and worrying about anything

and everything happening in their life.

These two mental illnesses

seem to be on the opposite
ends of the spectrum,

not related to one another at all.

However, it's important to note

that statistically speaking

the most common form of depression

is actually what we call
agitated depression,

meaning that someone
will feel both hopeless,

empty, and lack enjoyment,

while also feeling on edge, irritable,

and worrying about all things
going on in their life.

Many of my patients who are struggling

with agitated depression
feel like they're caught

in a terrible cycle,
because they'll feel bad

and lonely and empty, et cetera,

then they'll pick a fight with someone

who tries to help them or support them

'cause they're just
feeling like total shit

and then go right back
to feeling terrible again

and that cycle just
goes and goes and goes.

And many people also share
how they'll be tired all day

feeling low, and completely unmotivated,

but then at night they can't sleep.

I even had a patient back in the day

who struggled to stop her
mind from running through

each and every conversation
she had had that day,

and how she could have been better,

more understanding, or less awkward.

This can be exhausting,

I know many of you told me the same thing,

that you feel tired all day

and then you can't sleep at night.

Ugh, so annoying!

Now it's not only the agitated depression

that connects anxiety to depression.

Research also shows that this link

has more to do with how
those with depression

and anxiety manage stress.

Whenever we're bombarded
with the stress in our life

those with anxiety and depression

tend to deal with it through avoidance.

Meaning when stress comes our way

and we're pushed into our fight,
flight or freeze response,

we choose flight.

I mean think about it,

neither depression nor
anxiety is decisive,

confident or pushy.

And to take it even further,

anxiety is characterized by avoidance.

I mean if we know something's
gonna make us anxious or upset

we're gonna avoid it, obviously.

And when depressed, we
don't think very highly

of ourselves or our abilities,

and therefore we tend to avoid situations

or challenges, rather than jump right in.

And in the therapy world
we call that withdrawal.

So you can see that with anxiety

your obsessions about
failure are fear laden.

Whereas with depression,

your rumination reflects
intense discouragement

to the point of hopelessness of despair.

But in both cases you're
feeling overwhelmed

because of lack of self confidence

and that's the real issue
behind feeling overwhelmed.

Like, the root of the root.

You know how I'm always talking,

to get to the root of
the root of the issue.

And so if that's the case
behind feeling like this

it can in turn lead us to either anxiety,

depression, or a veritable combination

of these two painful feelings.

Furthermore much of the symptoms

of depression and anxiety
really do overlap.

Here are just some of the symptoms

you will see in both diagnoses:

sleep disturbance, tearfulness,

worry, loss of appetite,
loss of sex drive,

lack of motivation, body aches,
difficulty concentrating,

and that's just to name a few.

So it is easy to see why many of us

find ourselves toggling back and forth

between depression to anxiety

and even experiencing them
both at the same time.

Or on the other hand,

possibly being diagnosed with one

when we really have the other.

But like anything I talk about

I always wanna end with what we can do

to better manage the symptoms.

So let's get into that.

Oh, and also, I know that we have

a lot of new community members.

Welcome!

So if you have a question or topic

that you want me to talk about,

please search my name and any keywords

associated with your question or issue.

I have over a thousand videos

so chances are I've
already talked about it.

Okay, now into the tips and tools.

Number one, since our hypothesis

is that lack of self confidence

and our flight response
is what's leading us

to having our anxious
or depressive symptoms,

you knew this tip was coming,

notice your self talk!

It's so common that we
just believe our thoughts,

like I'm lazy, or my feelings are stupid,

or I'm not good enough.

Start paying attention to how you speak

to yourself and maybe start
using bridge statements.

Bridge statements are things
that you say to yourself

when the positive or
completely opposite things

don't feel like real, right or attainable.

So for example, if we're
struggling with the thought

I'm not good enough, a
bridge statement would be

I may not be as bad as I think
I am, I mean, it's possible.

We don't have to say

I'm amazing and I'm way more than enough

I love myself, because
we won't believe that.

Let's just be honest, right?

And yes, you know, I've
talked about faking it

'til I make it, and that
does help some people,

but most of us need a
bridge to get us there.

And so that's what those statements are.

So I encourage you to give it a try.

Try to notice the five most common

negative thoughts you have, and argue back

with some thoughtful bridge statements.

And then after some time

you'll be able to argue
back with positive ones,

or better yet, maybe you won't even have

those nasty thoughts at all anymore.

Number two, getting into talk therapy.

It can really be so helpful, I promise.

Having someone we can go to to talk with

who doesn't know anything other
than what we share with them

can be so life changing.

Now, obviously we need to make sure

that we like our therapist,

that we feel they're a good fit for us,

but getting into talk therapy

can help us better understand
our anxiety or depression.

And make sure that we're
properly diagnosed.

Remember I always talk
about how important it is

to spend time with a clinician,

meaning like therapist,
counselor, psychologist, whomever,

we have to spend a lot of time with them

before they can truly diagnose us.

So allow yourself to make
sure they're a good fit

and feel like they really listen to you

and then talk about your diagnosis

and make sure that you both agree on it.

And the therapist can also help us

manage those symptoms
that we're talking about.

They find CBT to be a really
helpful style of therapy.

So feel free to ask your therapist

if they utilize that style as well.

And if you're wondering what CBT even is,

I'll link my video about it
in the description below.

Tip number three, while
medication can not make us

like ourselves or feel more confident

it can help alleviate the other symptoms

of anxiety or depression

that we may be experiencing.

I've talked about this a lot in the past

but if we feel like we're
just drowning in the symptoms

unable to even implement one of the tips

that our therapist or other
mental health professional

has given us, medication
can be that life raft,

can help you get your head, you know,

just above water enough so you
can finally breathe (sighs)

and do the work that you're
gonna need to do to get better.

And I do not encourage
just if you're wondering

I don't encourage people
to only be on medication

and not be in therapy,

because medication when it
comes to mental health issues

doesn't really fix anything.

It merely masks the symptoms
that tell us something's wrong.

And so working together,

medication and therapy, I believe
to be the most beneficial.

And research does too, just FYI.

And fourth and finally, resourcing.

Now I've been talking
about this more and more

when it comes to trauma therapy,

but I honestly believe that resourcing

can be beneficial to anyone
working on themselves.

Resourcing's really just a fancy way

of saying we need to have
places, people, and things

we can reach out to or do
when we start to feel bad.

This could be a happy place
that we go to in our mind

or petting an animal, if
that always calms us down.

It works for me.

Or even in your therapy appointments

that place could be like a safe haven

to go to in your mind or to
show up for your appointment.

And the more resources
that we have the better

and also making sure that these things

we can do regardless of the time of day

is really important,
too, because we all know

nights can be the toughest.

And yes these are similar
to distraction techniques

or coping skills, but they're
just a little bit deeper.

These need to be things or people

that can help pull us out of
those negative thought spirals

and keep us feeling
grounded fairly quickly.

So take some time,

consider what your resources
are and write them down

so they're available when you need them.

And I hope you found this video helpful.

As always, let me know down
in those comments below

how you experience the connection

between anxiety and depression.

Or if you think they're
completely different

and not connected at all.

How does it feel to you?

And most importantly, what has helped you

to better manage it?

Thank you so much for watching

and I will see you next time, bye.