0:00:00.140,0:00:01.060 - Hey everybody. 0:00:01.060,0:00:04.090 Today we're gonna talk about[br]depression and anxiety, 0:00:04.090,0:00:06.990 and why they seem to be so connected. 0:00:06.990,0:00:08.090 But before we jump into that, 0:00:08.090,0:00:10.160 did you know I wrote a book? 0:00:10.160,0:00:11.440 It's called Are u ok? 0:00:11.440,0:00:13.810 And it's available for pre order now. 0:00:13.810,0:00:16.830 In the book, I talk about all[br]things mental health related 0:00:16.830,0:00:17.663 like what's the difference 0:00:17.663,0:00:19.550 between mental health and mental illness? 0:00:19.550,0:00:21.800 How do we diagnose depression and anxiety? 0:00:21.800,0:00:23.340 What type of treatment should I get 0:00:23.340,0:00:24.600 if I am struggling, 0:00:24.600,0:00:27.380 and also how to manage[br]toxic relationships. 0:00:27.380,0:00:28.890 So click the link at the[br]top of the description 0:00:28.890,0:00:29.840 and pre order now. 0:00:29.840,0:00:32.100 By pre ordering you get signed book plates 0:00:32.100,0:00:34.320 and some special giveaways, so hop on it. 0:00:34.320,0:00:36.420 Now let's jump into today's topic. 0:00:36.420,0:00:38.570 Now, by simply watching[br]my diagnoses videos 0:00:38.570,0:00:40.390 about depression and anxiety, 0:00:40.390,0:00:43.860 you can easily think that[br]they are vastly different. 0:00:43.860,0:00:45.270 On one hand a depressed person 0:00:45.270,0:00:47.500 doesn't like doing anything they used to. 0:00:47.500,0:00:49.640 They can feel hopeless and sad. 0:00:49.640,0:00:51.910 And have changes in their[br]diet and sleep patterns. 0:00:51.910,0:00:55.000 A person with anxiety can[br]feel like they're living 0:00:55.000,0:00:57.120 in a state of extreme agitation, 0:00:57.120,0:00:58.840 being on edge most of the day, 0:00:58.840,0:01:00.200 and worrying about anything 0:01:00.200,0:01:03.170 and everything happening in their life. 0:01:03.170,0:01:04.270 These two mental illnesses 0:01:04.270,0:01:06.810 seem to be on the opposite[br]ends of the spectrum, 0:01:06.810,0:01:08.780 not related to one another at all. 0:01:08.780,0:01:10.010 However, it's important to note 0:01:10.010,0:01:11.630 that statistically speaking 0:01:11.630,0:01:13.610 the most common form of depression 0:01:13.610,0:01:16.400 is actually what we call[br]agitated depression, 0:01:16.400,0:01:19.040 meaning that someone[br]will feel both hopeless, 0:01:19.040,0:01:21.040 empty, and lack enjoyment, 0:01:21.040,0:01:23.510 while also feeling on edge, irritable, 0:01:23.510,0:01:26.430 and worrying about all things[br]going on in their life. 0:01:26.430,0:01:27.900 Many of my patients who are struggling 0:01:27.900,0:01:29.830 with agitated depression[br]feel like they're caught 0:01:29.830,0:01:32.120 in a terrible cycle,[br]because they'll feel bad 0:01:32.120,0:01:34.040 and lonely and empty, et cetera, 0:01:34.040,0:01:35.340 then they'll pick a fight with someone 0:01:35.340,0:01:36.870 who tries to help them or support them 0:01:36.870,0:01:38.850 'cause they're just[br]feeling like total shit 0:01:38.850,0:01:40.870 and then go right back[br]to feeling terrible again 0:01:40.870,0:01:44.420 and that cycle just[br]goes and goes and goes. 0:01:44.420,0:01:47.480 And many people also share[br]how they'll be tired all day 0:01:47.480,0:01:49.477 feeling low, and completely unmotivated, 0:01:49.477,0:01:51.230 but then at night they can't sleep. 0:01:51.230,0:01:52.500 I even had a patient back in the day 0:01:52.500,0:01:54.640 who struggled to stop her[br]mind from running through 0:01:54.640,0:01:58.110 each and every conversation[br]she had had that day, 0:01:58.110,0:01:59.970 and how she could have been better, 0:01:59.970,0:02:02.664 more understanding, or less awkward. 0:02:02.664,0:02:04.200 This can be exhausting, 0:02:04.200,0:02:05.840 I know many of you told me the same thing, 0:02:05.840,0:02:06.870 that you feel tired all day 0:02:06.870,0:02:08.300 and then you can't sleep at night. 0:02:08.300,0:02:10.190 Ugh, so annoying! 0:02:10.190,0:02:12.650 Now it's not only the agitated depression 0:02:12.650,0:02:14.550 that connects anxiety to depression. 0:02:14.550,0:02:16.360 Research also shows that this link 0:02:16.360,0:02:18.650 has more to do with how[br]those with depression 0:02:18.650,0:02:20.730 and anxiety manage stress. 0:02:20.730,0:02:23.433 Whenever we're bombarded[br]with the stress in our life 0:02:23.433,0:02:25.490 those with anxiety and depression 0:02:25.490,0:02:27.900 tend to deal with it through avoidance. 0:02:27.900,0:02:29.410 Meaning when stress comes our way 0:02:29.410,0:02:32.540 and we're pushed into our fight,[br]flight or freeze response, 0:02:32.540,0:02:33.438 we choose flight. 0:02:33.438,0:02:34.850 I mean think about it, 0:02:34.850,0:02:37.160 neither depression nor[br]anxiety is decisive, 0:02:37.160,0:02:38.860 confident or pushy. 0:02:38.860,0:02:39.962 And to take it even further, 0:02:39.962,0:02:43.270 anxiety is characterized by avoidance. 0:02:43.270,0:02:47.300 I mean if we know something's[br]gonna make us anxious or upset 0:02:47.300,0:02:49.600 we're gonna avoid it, obviously. 0:02:49.600,0:02:51.610 And when depressed, we[br]don't think very highly 0:02:51.610,0:02:53.030 of ourselves or our abilities, 0:02:53.030,0:02:55.280 and therefore we tend to avoid situations 0:02:55.280,0:02:58.310 or challenges, rather than jump right in. 0:02:58.310,0:03:01.440 And in the therapy world[br]we call that withdrawal. 0:03:01.440,0:03:03.160 So you can see that with anxiety 0:03:03.160,0:03:06.400 your obsessions about[br]failure are fear laden. 0:03:06.400,0:03:07.500 Whereas with depression, 0:03:07.500,0:03:10.917 your rumination reflects[br]intense discouragement 0:03:10.917,0:03:13.510 to the point of hopelessness of despair. 0:03:13.510,0:03:15.352 But in both cases you're[br]feeling overwhelmed 0:03:15.352,0:03:17.630 because of lack of self confidence 0:03:17.630,0:03:20.460 and that's the real issue[br]behind feeling overwhelmed. 0:03:20.460,0:03:21.510 Like, the root of the root. 0:03:21.510,0:03:22.430 You know how I'm always talking, 0:03:22.430,0:03:25.102 to get to the root of[br]the root of the issue. 0:03:25.102,0:03:27.490 And so if that's the case[br]behind feeling like this 0:03:27.490,0:03:29.860 it can in turn lead us to either anxiety, 0:03:29.860,0:03:32.230 depression, or a veritable combination 0:03:32.230,0:03:34.820 of these two painful feelings. 0:03:34.820,0:03:36.360 Furthermore much of the symptoms 0:03:36.360,0:03:39.900 of depression and anxiety[br]really do overlap. 0:03:39.900,0:03:41.130 Here are just some of the symptoms 0:03:41.130,0:03:43.630 you will see in both diagnoses: 0:03:43.630,0:03:46.280 sleep disturbance, tearfulness, 0:03:46.280,0:03:49.740 worry, loss of appetite,[br]loss of sex drive, 0:03:49.740,0:03:54.060 lack of motivation, body aches,[br]difficulty concentrating, 0:03:54.060,0:03:55.720 and that's just to name a few. 0:03:55.720,0:03:58.040 So it is easy to see why many of us 0:03:58.040,0:04:00.100 find ourselves toggling back and forth 0:04:00.100,0:04:02.040 between depression to anxiety 0:04:02.040,0:04:05.050 and even experiencing them[br]both at the same time. 0:04:05.050,0:04:06.600 Or on the other hand, 0:04:06.600,0:04:08.185 possibly being diagnosed with one 0:04:08.185,0:04:10.740 when we really have the other. 0:04:10.740,0:04:12.260 But like anything I talk about 0:04:12.260,0:04:14.370 I always wanna end with what we can do 0:04:14.370,0:04:16.340 to better manage the symptoms. 0:04:16.340,0:04:17.620 So let's get into that. 0:04:17.620,0:04:19.380 Oh, and also, I know that we have 0:04:19.380,0:04:21.018 a lot of new community members. 0:04:21.018,0:04:22.270 Welcome! 0:04:22.270,0:04:23.890 So if you have a question or topic 0:04:23.890,0:04:25.140 that you want me to talk about, 0:04:25.140,0:04:27.290 please search my name and any keywords 0:04:27.290,0:04:28.855 associated with your question or issue. 0:04:28.855,0:04:30.730 I have over a thousand videos 0:04:30.730,0:04:33.050 so chances are I've[br]already talked about it. 0:04:33.050,0:04:35.620 Okay, now into the tips and tools. 0:04:35.620,0:04:37.690 Number one, since our hypothesis 0:04:37.690,0:04:39.480 is that lack of self confidence 0:04:39.480,0:04:41.560 and our flight response[br]is what's leading us 0:04:41.560,0:04:44.310 to having our anxious[br]or depressive symptoms, 0:04:44.310,0:04:45.701 you knew this tip was coming, 0:04:45.701,0:04:48.130 notice your self talk! 0:04:48.130,0:04:50.635 It's so common that we[br]just believe our thoughts, 0:04:50.635,0:04:53.920 like I'm lazy, or my feelings are stupid, 0:04:53.920,0:04:55.338 or I'm not good enough. 0:04:55.338,0:04:57.300 Start paying attention to how you speak 0:04:57.300,0:05:00.420 to yourself and maybe start[br]using bridge statements. 0:05:00.420,0:05:02.160 Bridge statements are things[br]that you say to yourself 0:05:02.160,0:05:04.530 when the positive or[br]completely opposite things 0:05:04.530,0:05:08.720 don't feel like real, right or attainable. 0:05:08.720,0:05:10.830 So for example, if we're[br]struggling with the thought 0:05:10.830,0:05:13.410 I'm not good enough, a[br]bridge statement would be 0:05:14.350,0:05:19.334 I may not be as bad as I think[br]I am, I mean, it's possible. 0:05:19.334,0:05:20.640 We don't have to say 0:05:20.640,0:05:22.386 I'm amazing and I'm way more than enough 0:05:22.386,0:05:25.920 I love myself, because[br]we won't believe that. 0:05:25.920,0:05:27.520 Let's just be honest, right? 0:05:27.520,0:05:29.270 And yes, you know, I've[br]talked about faking it 0:05:29.270,0:05:31.470 'til I make it, and that[br]does help some people, 0:05:31.470,0:05:35.160 but most of us need a[br]bridge to get us there. 0:05:35.160,0:05:37.345 And so that's what those statements are. 0:05:37.345,0:05:39.380 So I encourage you to give it a try. 0:05:39.380,0:05:41.110 Try to notice the five most common 0:05:41.110,0:05:43.610 negative thoughts you have, and argue back 0:05:43.610,0:05:45.720 with some thoughtful bridge statements. 0:05:45.720,0:05:47.320 And then after some time 0:05:47.320,0:05:49.300 you'll be able to argue[br]back with positive ones, 0:05:49.300,0:05:51.580 or better yet, maybe you won't even have 0:05:51.580,0:05:53.430 those nasty thoughts at all anymore. 0:05:53.430,0:05:56.067 Number two, getting into talk therapy. 0:05:56.067,0:05:58.910 It can really be so helpful, I promise. 0:05:58.910,0:06:00.970 Having someone we can go to to talk with 0:06:00.970,0:06:03.980 who doesn't know anything other[br]than what we share with them 0:06:03.980,0:06:06.270 can be so life changing. 0:06:06.270,0:06:07.600 Now, obviously we need to make sure 0:06:07.600,0:06:08.810 that we like our therapist, 0:06:08.810,0:06:10.460 that we feel they're a good fit for us, 0:06:10.460,0:06:11.570 but getting into talk therapy 0:06:11.570,0:06:15.010 can help us better understand[br]our anxiety or depression. 0:06:15.010,0:06:17.170 And make sure that we're[br]properly diagnosed. 0:06:17.170,0:06:19.150 Remember I always talk[br]about how important it is 0:06:19.150,0:06:20.880 to spend time with a clinician, 0:06:20.880,0:06:23.910 meaning like therapist,[br]counselor, psychologist, whomever, 0:06:23.910,0:06:24.980 we have to spend a lot of time with them 0:06:24.980,0:06:26.880 before they can truly diagnose us. 0:06:26.880,0:06:29.240 So allow yourself to make[br]sure they're a good fit 0:06:29.240,0:06:31.120 and feel like they really listen to you 0:06:31.120,0:06:32.770 and then talk about your diagnosis 0:06:32.770,0:06:34.547 and make sure that you both agree on it. 0:06:34.547,0:06:35.950 And the therapist can also help us 0:06:35.950,0:06:38.380 manage those symptoms[br]that we're talking about. 0:06:38.380,0:06:41.850 They find CBT to be a really[br]helpful style of therapy. 0:06:41.850,0:06:43.270 So feel free to ask your therapist 0:06:43.270,0:06:44.990 if they utilize that style as well. 0:06:44.990,0:06:46.513 And if you're wondering what CBT even is, 0:06:46.513,0:06:49.200 I'll link my video about it[br]in the description below. 0:06:49.200,0:06:52.560 Tip number three, while[br]medication can not make us 0:06:52.560,0:06:54.590 like ourselves or feel more confident 0:06:54.590,0:06:56.950 it can help alleviate the other symptoms 0:06:56.950,0:06:58.460 of anxiety or depression 0:06:58.460,0:07:00.600 that we may be experiencing. 0:07:00.600,0:07:02.290 I've talked about this a lot in the past 0:07:02.290,0:07:04.930 but if we feel like we're[br]just drowning in the symptoms 0:07:04.930,0:07:07.540 unable to even implement one of the tips 0:07:07.540,0:07:09.670 that our therapist or other[br]mental health professional 0:07:09.670,0:07:12.780 has given us, medication[br]can be that life raft, 0:07:12.780,0:07:14.100 can help you get your head, you know, 0:07:14.100,0:07:17.720 just above water enough so you[br]can finally breathe (sighs) 0:07:17.720,0:07:21.070 and do the work that you're[br]gonna need to do to get better. 0:07:21.070,0:07:22.930 And I do not encourage[br]just if you're wondering 0:07:22.930,0:07:25.680 I don't encourage people[br]to only be on medication 0:07:25.680,0:07:27.600 and not be in therapy, 0:07:27.600,0:07:30.376 because medication when it[br]comes to mental health issues 0:07:30.376,0:07:32.670 doesn't really fix anything. 0:07:32.670,0:07:35.800 It merely masks the symptoms[br]that tell us something's wrong. 0:07:35.800,0:07:36.960 And so working together, 0:07:36.960,0:07:40.340 medication and therapy, I believe[br]to be the most beneficial. 0:07:40.340,0:07:42.870 And research does too, just FYI. 0:07:42.870,0:07:45.292 And fourth and finally, resourcing. 0:07:45.292,0:07:47.810 Now I've been talking[br]about this more and more 0:07:47.810,0:07:49.320 when it comes to trauma therapy, 0:07:49.320,0:07:50.970 but I honestly believe that resourcing 0:07:50.970,0:07:53.460 can be beneficial to anyone[br]working on themselves. 0:07:53.460,0:07:55.466 Resourcing's really just a fancy way 0:07:55.466,0:07:59.520 of saying we need to have[br]places, people, and things 0:07:59.520,0:08:03.620 we can reach out to or do[br]when we start to feel bad. 0:08:03.620,0:08:06.710 This could be a happy place[br]that we go to in our mind 0:08:06.710,0:08:09.440 or petting an animal, if[br]that always calms us down. 0:08:09.440,0:08:10.750 It works for me. 0:08:10.750,0:08:12.350 Or even in your therapy appointments 0:08:12.350,0:08:14.530 that place could be like a safe haven 0:08:14.530,0:08:17.450 to go to in your mind or to[br]show up for your appointment. 0:08:17.450,0:08:19.911 And the more resources[br]that we have the better 0:08:19.911,0:08:22.220 and also making sure that these things 0:08:22.220,0:08:23.633 we can do regardless of the time of day 0:08:23.633,0:08:26.550 is really important,[br]too, because we all know 0:08:26.550,0:08:27.990 nights can be the toughest. 0:08:27.990,0:08:29.930 And yes these are similar[br]to distraction techniques 0:08:29.930,0:08:31.972 or coping skills, but they're[br]just a little bit deeper. 0:08:31.972,0:08:34.400 These need to be things or people 0:08:34.400,0:08:37.200 that can help pull us out of[br]those negative thought spirals 0:08:37.200,0:08:39.850 and keep us feeling[br]grounded fairly quickly. 0:08:39.850,0:08:40.920 So take some time, 0:08:40.920,0:08:42.960 consider what your resources[br]are and write them down 0:08:42.960,0:08:44.940 so they're available when you need them. 0:08:44.940,0:08:46.206 And I hope you found this video helpful. 0:08:46.206,0:08:48.991 As always, let me know down[br]in those comments below 0:08:48.991,0:08:51.050 how you experience the connection 0:08:51.050,0:08:53.140 between anxiety and depression. 0:08:53.140,0:08:54.570 Or if you think they're[br]completely different 0:08:54.570,0:08:56.280 and not connected at all. 0:08:56.280,0:08:57.710 How does it feel to you? 0:08:57.710,0:08:59.780 And most importantly, what has helped you 0:08:59.780,0:09:01.270 to better manage it? 0:09:01.270,0:09:02.670 Thank you so much for watching 0:09:02.670,0:09:04.623 and I will see you next time, bye.