[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.03,0:00:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was a child,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.55,0:00:03.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every other Friday,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.73,0:00:06.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would leave my mother\Nand stepfather's home --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.70,0:00:11.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an Indian and British, atheist, Buddhist,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.37,0:00:17.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,agnostic, vegetarian, new age-y sometimes,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.05,0:00:18.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Democratic household.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.34,0:00:23.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would go 1.4 miles\Nto my father and stepmother's home
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.84,0:00:27.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and enter a white, Evangelical Christian,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.44,0:00:30.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conservative, Republican,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.32,0:00:32.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,twice-a-week-churchgoing,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.86,0:00:34.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,meat-eating family.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.100,0:00:38.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't take a shrink\Nto explain how I ended up
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.47,0:00:40.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the field of conflict resolution.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.21,0:00:41.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.16,0:00:45.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether I was facilitating dialogues\Nin Charlottesville or Istanbul
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.94,0:00:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or Ahmedabad,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.18,0:00:49.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the challenge was always the same:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.09,0:00:51.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despite all odds,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.81,0:00:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with integrity,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.38,0:00:56.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how do you get people\Nto connect meaningfully,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.30,0:00:57.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to take risks,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.94,0:01:00.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be changed by their experience?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.63,0:01:07.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would witness extraordinarily\Nbeautiful electricity in those rooms.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.93,0:01:09.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I would leave those rooms
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.64,0:01:12.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and attend my everyday\Ngatherings like all of you --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.43,0:01:15.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a wedding or a conference\Nor a back-to-school picnic --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.67,0:01:17.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and many would fall flat.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.16,0:01:19.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a meaning gap
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.01,0:01:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between these high-intensity\Nconflict groups
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.66,0:01:24.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my everyday gatherings.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.41,0:01:27.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you could say, sure,\Nsomebody's birthday party
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.88,0:01:30.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't going to live up to a race dialogue,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.24,0:01:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's not what I was responding to.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.69,0:01:35.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a facilitator,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.11,0:01:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're taught to strip everything away
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.20,0:01:40.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and focus on the interaction\Nbetween people,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.22,0:01:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whereas everyday hosts\Nfocus on getting the things right --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.34,0:01:47.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the food, the flowers, the fish knives --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.40,0:01:50.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and leave the interaction\Nbetween people largely to chance.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.60,0:01:55.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I began to wonder how we might change\Nour everyday gatherings
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.90,0:02:00.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to focus on making meaning\Nby human connection,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.12,0:02:02.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not obsessing with the canapés.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.78,0:02:07.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I set out and interviewed\Ndozens of brave and unusual hosts --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.68,0:02:10.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an Olympic hockey coach,\Na Cirque du Soleil choreographer,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.89,0:02:12.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a rabbi, a camp counselor--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.99,0:02:15.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to better understand\Nwhat creates meaningful
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.36,0:02:17.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even transformative gatherings.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.51,0:02:20.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I want to share with you\Nsome of what I learned today
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.20,0:02:22.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the new rules of gathering.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.81,0:02:25.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when most people plan a gathering,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.61,0:02:27.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they start with an off-the-rack format.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.92,0:02:30.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Birthday party? Cake and candles.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.11,0:02:32.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Board meeting?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.37,0:02:34.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One brown table, 12 white men.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.100,0:02:37.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.40,0:02:43.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Assuming the purpose is obvious,\Nwe skip too quickly to form.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.72,0:02:46.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This not only leads to dull\Nand repetitive gatherings,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.40,0:02:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it misses a deeper opportunity
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.64,0:02:51.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to actually address our needs.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.90,0:02:55.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first step of creating\Nmore meaningful everyday gatherings
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.40,0:03:00.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to embrace a specific\Ndisputable purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.38,0:03:04.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An expectant mother I know\Nwas dreading her baby shower.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.54,0:03:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The idea of "pin the diaper\Non the baby" games
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.47,0:03:11.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and opening gifts felt odd and irrelevant.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.79,0:03:13.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she paused to ask:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.15,0:03:15.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is the purpose of a baby shower?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.82,0:03:18.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is my need at this moment?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.27,0:03:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she realized it was\Nto address her fears
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.63,0:03:24.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of her and her husband's --\Nremember that guy? --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.81,0:03:26.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,transition to parenthood.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.82,0:03:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so she asked two friends\Nto invent a gathering based on that.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.98,0:03:34.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so on a sunny afternoon,\Nsix women gathered.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.06,0:03:38.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And first, to address her fear of labor --\Nshe was terrified --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.77,0:03:41.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they told her stories from her life
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.10,0:03:44.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to remind her of the characteristics\Nshe already carries --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.95,0:03:48.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bravery, wonder, faith, surrender --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.51,0:03:52.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they believed would carry her\Nand help her in labor as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.84,0:03:57.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as they spoke, they tied a bead\Nfor each quality into a necklace
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.53,0:04:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she could wear around her neck\Nin the delivery room.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.22,0:04:03.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, her husband came in,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.26,0:04:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they wrote new vows,\Nfamily vows, and spoke them aloud,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.21,0:04:09.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,first committing to keep\Ntheir marriage central
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.54,0:04:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as they transitioned to parenthood,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.25,0:04:14.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but also future vows to their future son
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.08,0:04:17.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of what they wanted to carry with them\Nfrom each of their family lines
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.40,0:04:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what would stop with this generation.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.39,0:04:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then more friends came along,\Nincluding men, for a dinner party.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.18,0:04:28.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in lieu of gifts, they each brought\Na favorite memory from their childhood
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.12,0:04:29.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to share with the table.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.80,0:04:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you might be thinking\Nthis is a lot for a baby shower,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.61,0:04:36.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or it's a little weird\Nor it's a little intimate.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.32,0:04:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.52,0:04:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's specific.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.79,0:04:40.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's disputable.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.42,0:04:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's specific to them,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.03,0:04:44.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just as your gathering\Nshould be specific to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.35,0:04:50.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next step of creating\Nmore meaningful everyday gatherings
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.07,0:04:52.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to cause good controversy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.91,0:04:55.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may have learned, as I did,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.57,0:04:58.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never to talk about sex, politics\Nor religion at the dinner table.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.30,0:05:02.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a good rule in that\Nit preserves harmony,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.23,0:05:03.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or that's its intention.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.86,0:05:08.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it strips away a core ingredient\Nof meaning, which is heat,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.35,0:05:09.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,burning relevance.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.74,0:05:14.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The best gatherings learn\Nto cultivate good controversy
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.91,0:05:17.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by creating the conditions for it,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.30,0:05:21.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because human connection\Nis as threatened by unhealthy peace
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.78,0:05:23.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as by unhealthy conflict.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.22,0:05:27.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was once working\Nwith an architecture firm,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.95,0:05:29.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they were at a crossroads.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.46,0:05:33.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They had to figure out whether they wanted\Nto continue to be an architecture firm
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.34,0:05:35.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and focus on the construction of buildings
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.38,0:05:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or pivot and become\Nthe hot new thing, a design firm,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.89,0:05:40.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,focusing on beyond\Nthe construction of spaces.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.72,0:05:42.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there was real\Ndisagreement in the room,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.82,0:05:46.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you wouldn't know, because no one\Nwas actually speaking up publicly.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.26,0:05:48.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so we hosted good controversy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.13,0:05:51.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After a lunch break,\Nall the architects came back,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.35,0:05:54.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we hosted a cage match.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.48,0:05:56.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They walked in,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.69,0:06:00.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we took one architect, put him\Nin one corner to represent architecture,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.12,0:06:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the other one to represent design.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.01,0:06:03.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We threw white towels around their necks,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.01,0:06:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stolen from the bathroom -- sorry --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.23,0:06:08.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,played Rocky music on an iPad,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.68,0:06:10.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,got each a Don King-like manager
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.88,0:06:13.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to rev them up and prepare them\Nwith counterarguments,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.50,0:06:17.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then basically made them each argue\Nthe best possible argument
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.04,0:06:18.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of each future vision.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.34,0:06:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The norm of politeness\Nwas blocking their progress.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.66,0:06:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we then had everybody else\Nphysically choose a side
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.69,0:06:28.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of their colleagues.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.36,0:06:31.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And because they were able\Nto actually show where they stood,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.35,0:06:32.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they broke an impasse.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.24,0:06:34.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Architecture won.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.48,0:06:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's work.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.95,0:06:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about a hypothetical\Ntense Thanksgiving dinner?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.15,0:06:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyone?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.41,0:06:45.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.04,0:06:48.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So first, ask the purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.60,0:06:51.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What does this family need this year?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.59,0:06:55.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If cultivating good heat is part of it,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.63,0:07:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then try for a night banning opinions\Nand asking for stories instead.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.39,0:07:04.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Choose a theme\Nrelated to the underlying conflict.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.100,0:07:06.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead of opinions,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.17,0:07:09.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ask everybody to share a story\Nfrom their life and experience
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.25,0:07:11.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that nobody around the table\Nhas ever heard,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.79,0:07:14.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to difference or to belonging
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.38,0:07:16.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or to a time I changed my mind,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.54,0:07:19.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,giving people a way in to each other
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.79,0:07:21.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without burning the house down.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.56,0:07:26.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And finally, to create more meaningful\Neveryday gatherings,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.95,0:07:30.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,create a temporary alternative world
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.75,0:07:33.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the use of pop-up rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.02,0:07:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few years ago, I started noticing\Ninvitations coming with a set of rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.58,0:07:42.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kind of boring or controlling, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.00,0:07:44.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.26,0:07:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this multicultural,\Nintersectional society,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.04,0:07:49.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where more of us are gathered and raised
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.14,0:07:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by people and with etiquette\Nunlike our own,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.93,0:07:54.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we don't share the etiquette,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.22,0:07:56.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unspoken norms are trouble,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.14,0:08:00.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whereas pop-up rules allow us\Nto connect meaningfully.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.72,0:08:04.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're one-time-only constitutions\Nfor a specific purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.91,0:08:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So a team dinner,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.46,0:08:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where different generations are gathering
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.71,0:08:12.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and don't share the same\Nassumptions of phone etiquette:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.99,0:08:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whoever looks at their phone first
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.98,0:08:17.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,foots the bill.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.26,0:08:18.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.70,0:08:19.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Try it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.93,0:08:21.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.42,0:08:24.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For an entrepreneurial advice circle\Nof just strangers,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.33,0:08:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where the hosts don't want\Neverybody to just listen
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.79,0:08:28.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the one venture capitalist\Nin the room --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.87,0:08:29.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.91,0:08:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,knowing laugh --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.38,0:08:32.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.43,0:08:35.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't reveal what you do for a living.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.44,0:08:38.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For a mom's dinner,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.21,0:08:39.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you want to upend the norms
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.90,0:08:44.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of what women who also happen\Nto be mothers talk about when they gather,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.44,0:08:47.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you talk about your kids,\Nyou have to take a shot.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.52,0:08:50.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.62,0:08:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a real dinner.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.26,0:08:55.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rules are powerful,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.33,0:09:00.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they allow us to temporarily\Nchange and harmonize our behavior.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.22,0:09:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in diverse societies,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.23,0:09:04.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pop-up rules carry special force.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.03,0:09:07.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They allow us to gather across difference,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.29,0:09:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to connect,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.80,0:09:10.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make meaning together
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.18,0:09:11.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without having to be the same.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.10,0:09:14.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was a child,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.56,0:09:18.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I navigated my two worlds\Nby becoming a chameleon.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.27,0:09:21.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If somebody sneezed in my mother's home,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.50,0:09:23.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would say, "Bless you,"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.16,0:09:25.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my father's, "God bless you."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.85,0:09:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To protect myself, I hid,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.24,0:09:30.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as so many of us do.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.42,0:09:34.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it wasn't until I grew up\Nand through conflict work
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.20,0:09:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I began to stop hiding.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.73,0:09:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I realized that gatherings for me,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.60,0:09:42.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at their best,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.21,0:09:44.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,allow us to be among others,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.41,0:09:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be seen for who we are,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.95,0:09:50.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to see.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.51,0:09:53.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way we gather matters
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.21,0:09:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because how we gather
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.59,0:09:58.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is how we live.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.63,0:10:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.81,0:10:03.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)