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In 2015,

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at the age of 23,

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I had what I consider still today

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to be one of the single[br]most profoundly intense

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and equally terrifying[br]experiences of my life.

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I’d returned to Belfast

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after having been in work[br]in London for a few days,

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and I decided that the next morning[br]I’d make the journey back home.

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So I got up,

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I made the way to the train station

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and I got on a train in Belfast[br]and got off in Ballymoney.

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And no, being in Ballymoney[br]is neither the terrifying

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nor the intense part of the story.

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(Laughter)

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But my brother was waiting for me,

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and I got in the car and we made[br]the drive back to the family home,

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where my mom and dad[br]were surprised to see me.

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I hadn’t told them that I would be there.

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And the moment that followed[br]probably only lasted for a few minutes,

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but at the time,[br]it felt like hours were passing.

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And in that moment, I told my parents[br]something that had been consuming me.

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In that moment, I told[br]my parents that I was gay.

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Now,

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I was met by a response of nothing[br]but unconditional love and acceptance.

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And to this day,

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it was the greatest sense of relief[br]I’ve ever experienced.

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It felt like a physical weight[br]being lifted from my shoulders.

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And I remain conscious of two things:

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the first, that not everyone[br]is as lucky as I am

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from the response that they get[br]from their loved ones when they come out,

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and the second, that up until that point,[br]and even in moments since,

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I’ve led an existence of variations of me.

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And it’s funny,

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because despite knowing, really knowing,[br]in my head and in my heart,

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that my family loved me

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and that of course[br]they'd accept me for who I am,

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it was the world around me

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that had told me to expect[br]a very different response.

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LGBT people are conditioned[br]to expect the worst,

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while holding on to a little bit[br]of hope for the best.

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When we think about[br]the experiences of LGBT people -

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I now work for Europe’s[br]largest LGBT rights organization.

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I often joke that that allows me to say[br]that I’m a professional homosexual now.

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(Laughter)

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That doesn’t mean there are amateurs;[br]it just means I’m better at it.

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(Laughter)

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But the reality is[br]that in every new interaction,

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with every new job or every new boss,

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with every new colleague,[br]in every new social situation,

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or in every new introduction[br]to a friend of a friend,

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LGBT people make decisions.

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We make conscious, pragmatic decisions[br]about who knows what.

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We make split-second assessments[br]about what we disclose.

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And I’m not talking about[br]anything particularly intricate.

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I’m talking about things that are[br]everyday interactions for other people.

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If I get into a taxi and the driver asks,[br]“What are you getting up to this weekend?”

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do I say, "I’m going for dinner[br]with my boyfriend"?

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If I do, do I say[br]“boyfriend” or “partner”?

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If I say “partner,” is that as obvious[br]as saying “boyfriend”?

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So if I choose not to say anything at all,[br]what do I have to make up instead?

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You might be surprised

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by how often we go through these things[br]in our head and in our life

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because the world around us[br]has told us to expect the worst.

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But when I came out,

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that sense of relief

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was one of the single most empowering[br]feelings I’ve ever experienced.

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And so, I want you to imagine

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if the choices we face on a daily basis[br]range from being entirely open and honest,

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and the vulnerability[br]that comes with that

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to offering a redacted[br]or edited version of ourselves,

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to withholding our truth entirely,

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are any of those things[br]more or less authentic than each other?

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Probably.

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But I want you to imagine

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what it must be like to be faced[br]with those choices every single day

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for an individual.

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I want you to imagine[br]what it must feel like

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to be faced with those choices[br]every day of every week

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of every month of every year

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for an entire community of people.

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Earlier this year,

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the UK government published the findings[br]of the first-ever national LGBT survey.

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Spoiler alert: it was pretty grim reading.

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Around a quarter of all LGBT people

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have accessed some kind[br]of mental health support service

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over the course of the last year.

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Forty percent have experienced an incident

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of something like either[br]verbal harassment or physical violence

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in that same period.

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Over two-thirds have said

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that they have avoided holding the hand[br]of their same-sex partner

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for fear of the response[br]that they will receive.

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That is still our lived reality today.

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But what can you do

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other than continuing to be[br]decent human beings?

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Well, I want to tell you another story,

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and it might seem a bit odd,[br]but there’s a point to it, I promise.

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I want to take you back[br]to November 3, 2008,

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the night before[br]the US presidential election.

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The then soon-to-be president,

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Barack Obama,

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was addressing his final rally

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before votes would be cast[br]the following morning.

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And with the crowd gathered[br]in front of him in Virginia,

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he recounted a story[br]of an experience he’d had

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at a much earlier stage of his campaign.

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He talked about getting in his car[br]with his staff really early one morning,

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in the pouring rain,

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to make a trip to an isolated part[br]of South Carolina.

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He was in a bad mood.

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They arrived.

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It was an hour and a half[br]away from anywhere else.

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And when they arrived at the venue[br]and opened the doors,

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lo and behold,

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there was about 20 people[br]there to greet him,

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a small crowd.

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But Obama is a professional.

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He smiled, he shook hands,[br]he made his way around the room,

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and as he was doing that,[br]he heard a voice from behind him.

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“Fired-up!” the voice said.

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“Ready to go!” it continued.

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And Obama turned around,[br]confused, of course,

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and saw that the origin of this voice[br]was a small, slightly older lady

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wearing what he called a big church hat.

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And Obama looked at her,[br]and she looked at him,

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and she smiled and continued.

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“Fired-up!” she said to the room.

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“Ready to go!” she continued.

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And to his surprise,[br]the room responded to her.

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At this point, he looked at his staff[br]and the staff looked at him,

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and they all shrugged their shoulders[br]as they had no idea what was going on.

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But as this continued -

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“Fired-up!” the crowd responded,

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“Ready to go!” they responded again -

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Obama admitted he was starting[br]to feel fired-up.

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By the end, as this went on[br]for a few minutes,

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his mood had gone and he felt ready to go.

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And the point of that story,[br]for anyone who follows US politics,

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you’ll know that that had an influence[br]in how Obama engaged with his crowds,

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with his rallies,

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and he learned lessons to keep[br]in his toolbox for further campaigns.

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But there’s another point to that story,

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because at that rally,[br]the night before the election,

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he told the crowd in Virginia[br]that that woman taught him something.

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That little woman with the big church hat

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taught him that there’s[br]power in one voice,

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that if one voice can change a room,[br]then one voice can also change a city.

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And he said if one voice[br]could change a city,

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it could also change a state;

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and if one voice can change a state,

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it can also change a nation.

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And Obama believed that if one voice[br]could change a nation,

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then one voice could[br]also change the world.

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And so, I want you to think[br]about authenticity,

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and I want you to think about the scale[br]of the challenges that we face today,

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both locally but also[br]as a global community.

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And I want you to imagine:

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imagine a world where[br]people aren’t conditioned

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to expect the worst.

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Imagine a world where people don’t need[br]to be given permission to be themselves.

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We’re not there yet.

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Arguably, we’re quite far[br]from being there.

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But what if the voices[br]that we’re not currently hearing

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are the ones that could help us to deal[br]with the challenges that we face today?

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What if the voices[br]that we’re not currently hearing

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are of the people who are most impacted[br]by the challenges that we face today?

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Because then we all have a responsibility.

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We all have a responsibility[br]to elevate those voices.

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And it’s fitting that we’re here today,

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in this building, in Stormont,

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in the home of power-sharing,

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because that is exactly[br]what I want to ask of you today.

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When you leave,[br]when you return to your life,

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I want you to take stock[br]of the power that you hold.

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I want you to reflect[br]upon the spaces that you occupy,

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where you have power[br]and authority and influence.

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And in those spaces,[br]I want you to make space.

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I want you to elevate the voices[br]of the people that we hear from the least.

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Because here’s my hope:

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that if we believe that one voice[br]can change a room,

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imagine the possibility of that one voice[br]that can also change the world.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)