WEBVTT

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Today I am going to teach you

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how to play my favorite game:

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massively multiplayer thumb-wrestling.

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It's the only game in the world that I know of

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that allows you, the player,

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the opportunity to experience

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10 positive emotions in 60 seconds or less.

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This is true, so if you play this game with me today

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for just one single minute,

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you will get to feel joy, relief, love, surprise,

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pride, curiosity, excitement, awe and wonder,

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contentment, and creativity,

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all in the span of one minute.

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So this sounds pretty good, right?
Now you're willing to play.

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In order to teach you this game,

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I'm going to need some volunteers

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to come up onstage really quickly,

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and we're going to do a little hands-on demo.

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While they're coming up, I should let you know,

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this game was invented 10 years ago

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by an artists' collective in Austria named Monochrom.

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So thank you, Monochrom.

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Okay, so most people are familiar

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with traditional, two-person thumb-wrestling.

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Sunni, let's just remind them.

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One, two, three, four, 
I declare a thumb war, and we wrestle,

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and of course Sunni beats me
because she's the best.

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Now the first thing about
massively multiplayer thumb-wrestling,

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we're the gamer generation.

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There are a billion gamers on the planet now,

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so we need more of a challenge.

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So the first thing we need is more thumbs.

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So Eric, come on over.

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So we could get three thumbs together,

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and Peter could join us.

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We could even have four thumbs together,

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and the way you win

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is you're the first person
to pin someone else's thumb.

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This is really important. You can't, like,

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wait while they fight it out and
then swoop in at the last minute.

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That is not how you win.

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Ah, who did that? Eric you did that.

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So Eric would have won. He was
the first person to pin my thumb.

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Okay, so that's the first rule,

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and we can see that three or four

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is kind of the typical number of thumbs in a node,

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but if you feel ambitious,
you don't have to hold back.

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We can really go for it.

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So you can see up here.

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Now the only other rule you need to remember is,

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gamer generation, we like a challenge.

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I happen to notice you all have

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some thumbs you're not using.

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So I think we should kind of get some more involved.

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And if we had just four people,

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we would do it just like this,

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and we would try and wrestle

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both thumbs at the same time.

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Perfect.

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Now, if we had more people in the room,

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instead of just wrestling in a closed node,

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we might reach out and try
and grab some other people.

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And in fact, that's what we're going to do right now.

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We're going to try and get all, something like,

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I don't know, 1,500 thumbs in this room

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connected in a single node.

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And we have to connect both levels,

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so if you're up there, you're going to be

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reaching down and reaching up.

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Now — (Laughter) —

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before we get started --

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This is great. You're excited to play. —

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before we get started, can I have
the slides back up here really quick,

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because if you get good at this game,

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I want you to know there are some advanced levels.

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So this is the kind of simple level, right?

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But there are advanced configurations.

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This is called the Death Star Configuration.

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Any Star Wars fans?

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And this one's called the Möbius Strip.

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Any science geeks, you get that one.

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This is the hardest level. This is the extreme.

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So we'll stick with the normal one for now,

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and I'm going to give you 30 seconds,

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every thumb into the node,

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connect the upper and the lower levels,

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you guys go on down there.

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Thirty seconds. Into the network. Make the node.

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Stand up! It's easier if you stand up.

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Everybody, up up up up up!

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Stand up, my friends.

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All right.

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Don't start wrestling yet.

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If you have a free thumb, wave it around,

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make sure it gets connected.

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Okay. We need to do a last-minute thumb check.

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If you have a free thumb,
wave it around to make sure.

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Grab that thumb!

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Reach behind you. There you go.

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Any other thumbs?

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Okay, on the count of three, you're going to go.

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Try to keep track. Grab, grab, grab it.

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Okay? One, two, three, go!

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(Laughter)

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Did you win? You got it? You got it? Excellent!

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(Applause)

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Well done. Thank you. Thank you very much.

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All right.

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While you are basking in the glow

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of having won your first

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massively multiplayer thumb-wrestling game,

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let's do a quick recap on the positive emotions.

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So curiosity.

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I said "massively multiplayer thumb-wrestling."

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You were like, "What the hell is she talking about?"

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So I provoked a little curiosity.

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Creativity: it took creativity to solve the problem

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of getting all the thumbs into the node.

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I'm reaching around and I'm reaching up.

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So you used creativity. That was great.

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How about surprise? The actual feeling

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of trying to wrestle two thumbs at once
is pretty surprising.

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You heard that sound go up in the room.

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We had excitement. As you started to wrestle,

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maybe you're starting to win
or this person's, like, really into it,

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so you kind of get the excitement going.

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We have relief. You got to stand up.

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You've been sitting for awhile, so the physical relief,

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getting to shake it out.

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We had joy. You were laughing, smiling.
Look at your faces. This room is full of joy.

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We had some contentment.

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I didn't see anybody sending text messages
or checking their email while we were playing,

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so you were totally content to be playing.

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The most important three emotions,

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awe and wonder, we had everybody
connected physically for a minute.

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When was the last time you were at TED

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and you got to connect physically
with every single person in the room?

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And it's truly awesome and wondrous.

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And speaking of physical connection,

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you guys know I love the hormone oxytocin,

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you release oxytocin, you feel bonded
to everyone in the room.

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You guys know that the best way
to release oxytocin quickly

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is to hold someone else's hand
for at least six seconds.

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You guys were all holding hands
for way more than six seconds,

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so we are all now biochemically primed

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to love each other. That is great.

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And the last emotion of pride.

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How many people are like me. Just admit it.

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You lost both your thumbs.

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It just didn't work out for you.

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That's okay, because you learned a new skill today.

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You learned, from scratch,
a game you never knew before.

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Now you know how to play it.
You can teach other people.

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So congratulations.

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How many of you won just won thumb?

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All right. I have very good news for you.

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According to the official rules

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of massively multiplayer thumb-wrestling,

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this makes you a grandmaster of the game.

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Because there aren't that many
people who know how to play,

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we have to kind of accelerate the program

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more than a game like chess.

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So congratulations, grandmasters.

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Win one thumb once, you will
become a grandmaster.

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Did anybody win both their thumbs?

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Yes. Awesome. Okay.

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Get ready to update your Twitter or Facebook status.

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You guys, according to the rules,

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are legendary grandmasters, so congratulations.

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I will just leave you with this tip,
if you want to play again.

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The best way to become a legendary grandmaster,

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you've got your two nodes going on.

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Pick off the one that looks easiest.

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They're not paying attention. They look kind of weak.

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Focus on that one and do something crazy

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with this arm.

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As soon as you win, suddenly stop.

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Everybody is thrown off. You go in for the kill.

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That's how you become a legendary grandmaster
of massively multiplayer thumb-wrestling.

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Thank you for letting me
teach you my favorite game.

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Wooo! (Applause)

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Thank you. (Applause)