0:00:03.814,0:00:05.086 (from the room) 0:00:05.086,0:00:06.560 I have a question. 0:00:06.560,0:00:08.767 So, let's say you're single 0:00:08.767,0:00:10.568 and that's been a struggle for you 0:00:10.568,0:00:12.792 and suddenly the Lord's [br]brought you out of it. 0:00:12.792,0:00:15.255 Then, the Lord brings you a spouse. 0:00:15.255,0:00:17.128 Before you get married, 0:00:17.128,0:00:19.569 is that something you [br]should be up front with 0:00:19.569,0:00:21.851 and say that had been a struggle with you 0:00:21.851,0:00:24.073 before going into the marriage 0:00:24.073,0:00:32.148 so your wife can maybe [br]be more understanding? 0:00:32.148,0:00:35.079 Tim: Well, I think in the church, 0:00:35.079,0:00:36.370 I would say this. 0:00:36.370,0:00:42.091 I would say that if you're a father, 0:00:42.091,0:00:44.098 you should be putting the question 0:00:44.098,0:00:47.467 to any young man that wants [br]to marry your daughter. 0:00:47.467,0:00:50.077 If you are a young lady, 0:00:50.077,0:00:52.556 if you're not going to [br]put the question to them, 0:00:52.556,0:00:55.098 you should have your pastors [br]put the question to them 0:00:55.098,0:00:58.099 or your dad put the question to them. 0:00:58.099,0:01:00.794 Yes. Why? 0:01:00.794,0:01:05.506 Because you have characteristics 0:01:05.506,0:01:07.902 like the Proverbs 31 woman. 0:01:07.902,0:01:09.987 You have characteristics of a godly woman. 0:01:09.987,0:01:12.899 Guys, that's there on purpose. 0:01:12.899,0:01:14.734 So that you can look at it 0:01:14.734,0:01:16.747 and try to find a woman that's like that. 0:01:16.747,0:01:17.843 Same thing. 0:01:17.843,0:01:20.881 You have qualities of godly young men 0:01:20.881,0:01:23.443 displayed to you ladies in Scripture. 0:01:23.443,0:01:26.331 What kind of husband do you want? 0:01:26.331,0:01:31.330 Do you want one that bears resemblance? 0:01:31.330,0:01:37.009 Then you need to be getting [br]to know one another. 0:01:37.009,0:01:41.738 I recently heard Paul Washer do a message. 0:01:41.738,0:01:45.433 He did a message based [br]on 1 Thessalonians 4 - 0:01:45.433,0:01:51.038 sanctification, specifically [br]concerning sexual purity. 0:01:51.038,0:01:52.636 And he made the statement that 0:01:52.636,0:01:56.762 if you are failing with sexual purity, 0:01:56.762,0:01:59.048 you're not even at the first rung 0:01:59.048,0:02:00.906 of spiritual maturity. 0:02:00.906,0:02:05.794 And so here's the thing, 0:02:05.794,0:02:09.550 what I would want to see is 0:02:09.550,0:02:11.126 is God doing something 0:02:11.126,0:02:13.520 in the life of that young man 0:02:13.520,0:02:18.744 where there is a marked victory? 0:02:18.744,0:02:22.347 I'm not looking for perfection. 0:02:22.347,0:02:24.809 Look, when God saves a young man - 0:02:24.809,0:02:26.431 young women too - 0:02:26.431,0:02:29.920 the battle for sexual purity, 0:02:29.920,0:02:33.230 it can be savage. 0:02:33.230,0:02:37.748 It can be incredibly intense battle 0:02:37.748,0:02:41.666 with the desires of [br]the flesh in that area. 0:02:41.666,0:02:43.399 But what I'd be looking for is this: 0:02:43.399,0:02:46.018 is there evidence that the Spirit of God 0:02:46.018,0:02:48.363 is real in that guy's life 0:02:48.363,0:02:52.277 and that there is some kind of progress, 0:02:52.277,0:02:54.362 there is some kind of victory 0:02:54.362,0:02:56.156 that they are getting to the place 0:02:56.156,0:02:58.382 where they're going weeks and months 0:02:58.382,0:03:01.171 and years without failure. 0:03:01.171,0:03:04.551 Because if there are [br]constant regular falls, 0:03:04.551,0:03:07.173 I am absolutely convinced 0:03:07.173,0:03:11.011 you cannot live that way - 0:03:11.011,0:03:12.998 you can't live that way for too long 0:03:12.998,0:03:14.799 and be a genuine Christian. 0:03:14.799,0:03:17.033 But you cannot live that way 0:03:17.033,0:03:21.350 and think that the Spirit is [br]not going to be grieved. 0:03:21.350,0:03:23.688 And it says something about 0:03:23.688,0:03:26.898 where a man's character is at, 0:03:26.898,0:03:29.585 and so I think those [br]questions need to be asked. 0:03:29.585,0:03:31.431 And what's happening more and more 0:03:31.431,0:03:36.157 is I am asking young men very pointedly - 0:03:36.157,0:03:41.087 like I want to know space between falls. 0:03:41.087,0:03:43.437 I want to know the details 0:03:43.437,0:03:49.578 because I want to see what God does 0:03:49.578,0:03:51.399 in men's lives. 0:03:51.399,0:03:55.720 And I think in this very area 0:03:55.720,0:03:59.994 it's a tell-tale sign. 0:03:59.994,0:04:02.136 And if somebody's just living 0:04:02.136,0:04:05.143 in fairly perpetual failure, 0:04:05.143,0:04:09.200 no way are they going to [br]marry one of my daughters. 0:04:09.200,0:04:11.081 And as a pastor in the church, 0:04:11.081,0:04:12.739 I would tell a woman, 0:04:12.739,0:04:17.418 if there is not some [br]indication of victory here, 0:04:17.418,0:04:18.813 stay away from him. 0:04:18.813,0:04:23.010 You do not want to go there. 0:04:23.010,0:04:29.120 (incomplete thought) 0:04:29.120,0:04:32.410 Yes, I think there needs [br]to be transparency 0:04:32.410,0:04:33.945 at this point. 0:04:33.945,0:04:37.728 Now look, I think too, if we're faithful 0:04:37.728,0:04:40.738 (incomplete thought). 0:04:40.738,0:04:42.271 I mean, just today, 0:04:42.271,0:04:44.496 I was reading 1 Corinthians, 0:04:44.496,0:04:53.073 and I got all the way to like chapter 10. 0:04:53.073,0:04:55.833 So I read 1 Corinthians 7 today. 0:04:55.833,0:04:58.708 And you know, there is a place - 0:04:58.708,0:05:01.309 obviously, there is a place 0:05:01.309,0:05:04.662 for somebody to get married 0:05:04.662,0:05:07.449 for the sake of sexual temptation. 0:05:07.449,0:05:12.446 I mean, I would say this, 0:05:12.446,0:05:14.049 as a young man, 0:05:14.049,0:05:16.029 you need to strive for purity. 0:05:16.029,0:05:21.026 If the battle is intense, get married. 0:05:21.026,0:05:25.121 But look, if you're a Christian, 0:05:25.121,0:05:27.730 by the Spirit, strive to put to death 0:05:27.730,0:05:30.741 the deeds of the body 0:05:30.741,0:05:32.366 and get married. 0:05:32.366,0:05:35.242 That seems to be very biblical. 0:05:35.242,0:05:38.206 Rather, it's better to marry than to burn. 0:05:38.206,0:05:43.305 And I think finding a [br]wife is a good thing, 0:05:43.305,0:05:48.072 but you need to be [br]the caliber of young man 0:05:48.072,0:05:51.828 that a godly young lady is [br]going to want to marry, 0:05:51.828,0:05:55.486 because if your life is sloppy [br]and full of failure and defeat, 0:05:55.486,0:05:58.029 you shouldn't expect that you're ready 0:05:58.029,0:05:59.125 to get married. 0:05:59.125,0:06:00.218 You shouldn't. 0:06:00.218,0:06:03.121 That is not putting too high a standard 0:06:03.121,0:06:08.467 to expect that you're striving 0:06:08.467,0:06:10.763 to walk before the Lord 0:06:10.763,0:06:16.062 and that there is evidence of victory 0:06:16.062,0:06:19.684 in the life.