WEBVTT

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Thich Nhat Hanh risponde alle domande

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Dear Thay, dear Sangha

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(SPANISH)
At times I control
a lot of anger coming up.

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I keep it inside, but then
it suddenly explodes.

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I let it all out at once,

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without knowing why and without
being able to control it at that time.

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When all my anger explodes

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I hurt the other person
and also myself a lot.

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And then I do not have compassion
for the other, because I'm not aware of it.

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After I have calmed down and
my anger has exploded and I let it out.

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then I have compassion
and I am aware that I made him suffer.

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But in the moment I do it,
I cannot do anything.

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How can I do this?

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Dear Thay, our friend is saying...

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This is another question about anger.

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She feels a lot of anger come up sometimes.

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and she doesn't want to let it come out.

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So she tries to keep it under control,
she's pushing it down.

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But then, at some point
it explodes, it comes out

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and she can hurt the other person.

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She feels sorry to hurt the other person.

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She feels compassion for
the suffering she caused him.

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And she wants to know how she can
take better care of the situation.

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Is she capable of seeing the
suffering of the other person?

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(FRENCH)
Can she see the suffering
in the other person?

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And when?

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Before or after the explosion?

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I do see their suffering

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but I still have the strong emotion
come up.

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What can I do with it?

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To control is not enough.

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To control may be to suppress.

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Suppressing is not good,

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because it is always there,
you pin it down

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but it is still there.

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So suppressing is not good.

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We have to transform.

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And to transform you need compassion.

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The only antidote for anger,
violence is compassion.

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There is no other way.

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But how to fabricate compassion?

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How to generate the energy of compassion?

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That is the real question.

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And in this retreat we have learnt
to recognize the suffering?

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Because the suffering in that person is

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the cause of his action
or of words that can make you suffer.

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The anger in him waters
the anger in you.

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The violence in him waters
the violence in you.

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And that is why...we have
to breathe in and out mindfully

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and to look, to see
that the other person is a victim

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of his own violence, his own suffering,
his own misunderstanding.

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This is very important.

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This is the teaching of the Buddha:

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look at suffering and
understand suffering.

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When you understand your own suffering

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you can understand the suffering of 
the other person.

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Understanding suffering always
brings compassion.

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And only compassion can
transform anger and violence.

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There are those of us
who think that we can...

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we can take the block of anger out of us,

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like doing surgery.

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But you cannot do that with anger.

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You cannot take anger out of you.

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You can only transform it.

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Anger can be transformed within
into something else.

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Anger can be transformed into 
understanding and compassion

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And that is the work of the practitioner:

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looking into the suffering,

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your own suffering and
the suffering of the other person,

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and trying to understand the cause.

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That is the way to generate
the energy of compassion.

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And when compassion is there
it transforms anger.

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You don't need to take it out.

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There are those who try to take it out.

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There are those who advise you to

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take it out by the practice of
so-called 'ventilation'.

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It is like there is smoke in your room

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and you want to ventilate the 
smoke to take it out.

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And the way is to go to your room 
and lock your door

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and to try to punch,
to hit your pillow,

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to hit for ten minutes,
fifteen minutes.

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And they believe that by doing so
you may take anger out of you.

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'I am aware that anger is there.'

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'I want to take it out.'

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Because they think it is safer 
to hit a pillow

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then to hit the other person directly.

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And they call it
'take it out of your system'.

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But it does not work.

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It does not work.

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It may make your anger stronger.

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It is like rehearsing your anger.

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And they call it 'getting in touch with 
your anger'.

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It's good to get in touch with your anger.

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The Buddha also advises us to breathe in

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and to go home and
to get in touch with your anger

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and embrace it tenderly
and look deeply into your anger.

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But in this practice of... 
pounding... the pillow

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you don't really get
in touch with your anger.

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You are a victim of your anger.

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You are not getting in touch.

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You are not even in touch with the pillow...

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(Crowd laughs)

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even though you are hitting it,

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because if you are really in touch
with your pillow,

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you will know that
it is only a pillow.

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(Crowd laughs)

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It's funny to hit a pillow.

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The pillow is innocent.

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(Crowd laughs)

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So if you cannot get in touch 
with the pillow

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you cannot get in touch with your anger.

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And if you continue like that

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maybe one day, meeting him on 
the street, you may like to...

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hit directly and you get in jail.

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So this work does not seem
to help you to get it out.

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So according to this practice,

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the practice that the Buddha recommends,

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you have to come home and recognize anger

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and try to hold it with the energy 
of mindfulness.

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This is called mindfulness of anger.

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Mindfulness is always
mindfulness of something.

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When I drink my tea and become aware
that I am here and now drinking my tea

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that is mindfulness of drinking.

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And when I breathe mindfully,
that is mindfulness of breathing.

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When I walk mindfully,
that is mindfulness of walking.

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So when I come home to myself
and recognize my anger and hold my anger

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anger becomes the object 
of my mindfulness.

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This is called mindfulness of anger

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There are two energies.

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First there is the energy of anger.

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Then the second energy is the 
energy of mindfulness.

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In order to have this energy

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you have to practice breathing 
and walking mindfully.

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And with the second energy, you recognize
the first energy and embrace it tenderly.

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You do not suppress it

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but embrace it tenderly,

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like a mother embracing her...

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her suffering...baby.

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And when the energy of mindfulness
is embracing the energy of anger,

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you suffer less.

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It is like the sunshine
embracing the lotus flower.

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The lotus flower gets the warmth
the energy, in order to bloom.

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So when you use the energy of mindfulness
in order to embrace your anger

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you suffer less,
you get a relief.

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You suffer less.

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And if you look more deeply
you can identify the cause of your anger.

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That may be a wrong perception.

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That may be your lack of capacity to
see the suffering of the other person.

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And if you identify your wrong perception

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or if you can see the suffering 
of the other person

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suddenly that kind of understanding
and vision makes compassion arise.

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And when compassion arises,

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that is a kind of nectar that
makes you suffer less right away.

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You get a relief.

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And you can transform it.

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And...

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This...

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This practice always works.

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You know that in Plum Village,
in the past we used to sponsor

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groups of Palestinans and Israelis
to come and practice.

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And there is a lot of misunderstanding,
anger and suspicion in each group.

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And if they can stay for two weeks,
transformation and healing can be possible.

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We practice calming, releasing tension.

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We practice getting in touch with
the wonders of life in order to nourish us.

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And we also practicing breathing

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in order to recognize our suspicion,
our fear, our anger.

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And then we sit down and try
to listen to each other

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And we tell the other group about
our own suffering, our own fear.

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We use the practice of
the fourth mindfulness training:

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Loving Speech and Deep Listening.

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You can tell them
everything in your heart:

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your suffering, your fear, your anger.

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But you tell it in such a way that
the other person, the other group

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can understand you.

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Help them to understand.

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So during the time you speak,
you do not condemn, you do not blame.

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You just try to help them to understand
how much you suffer,

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you and your people and your children.

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In that way you help them to
understand your suffering.

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And then it will be your turn to sit
and listen to their suffering.

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They will tell you

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their suffering, their fear,
their anger, their despair.

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And you have to listen.

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And during the time they speak

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you may notice that they have
wrong perceptions of you.

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And you want to correct them.

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But according to this practice
you should not correct them.

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Because if you correct them
while they speak

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you will transform
the session into a debate.

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That's not the practice of deep listening.

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You say:

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"Oh, they say wrong things because
they have not seen the truth.

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But I have the time to help them

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to correct their perceptions
in a few days,

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because they will be
there for another week.

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So in a few days we will have
a chance to tell them,

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to give them the kind of
information that can help them

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to correct their perceptions.

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But not now.

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Now we have to listen,

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listen attentively."

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Listening like this is called
'compassionate listening'.

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And if you know how to listen
with compassion for one hour,

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they will suffer less.

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So we are practicing compassion.

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We are giving them
a chance to suffer less.

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And that is the practice of the
fourth mindfulness training:

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listening with compassion in order
to help other people to suffer less.

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You may do it with your husband, your wife

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with your son, with your daughter,
with your father or mother.

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And listen so that they have
a chance to empty their heart.

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That is compassion.

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And after a week of practice we are able
to remove many wrong perceptions.

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We increase our mutual understanding.

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And the two groups can sit down,

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can hold hands to do walking meditation,
and share a meal together.

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Brotherhood, sisterhood is born.

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So this is a very important practice.

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And...

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We believe that politicians
have to learn this practice.

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When they come to a peace negotiation,

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they should follow
the instructions of calming,

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releasing,

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recognizing suffering inside,

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recognizing the suffering in
the other person.

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And if they spent one or two weeks
practicing like that,

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their negotiations for peace
will be fruitful.

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And I think that in schools
of political science

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students have to learn
this kind of practice.

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They don't need to be a Buddhist
in order to learn it.

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This is applied ethics that can be
taught in every kind of school,

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including elementary school.

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Because children can learn the practice

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and reconcile with
their brothers and sisters

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and reconcile with their parents

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and even help their parents.

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They are many retreats organized
for young people, children.

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And the children are transformed
when they are able to see

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the suffering in their father,
in their mother.

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And they come home after the retreat,

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listen to their father and their mother

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and help them to suffer less.

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It's a miracle

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It always happens in our retreats.

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(Bell)