1
00:00:05,562 --> 00:00:11,040
So, we are the most distracted society
that has ever existed.

2
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:14,620
In fact, we are distracted
every three minutes of the day.

3
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:16,782
And what's even more interesting than that

4
00:00:16,782 --> 00:00:19,259
is that the University
of California, Irvine, states

5
00:00:19,259 --> 00:00:21,903
that it takes us 15 minutes
to get back on track.

6
00:00:21,903 --> 00:00:26,974
We swipe, scroll, tap, touch our phones
over 3,000 times a day,

7
00:00:26,974 --> 00:00:30,696
and nine is the average windows or apps
open at any given time.

8
00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:33,029
Yet we crave more time.

9
00:00:33,029 --> 00:00:38,248
So, we invent systems to keep us on task,
on track, on time, in the black.

10
00:00:38,248 --> 00:00:40,890
We use our devices,
our wearables, our apps -

11
00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:44,223
any software to make us more productive.

12
00:00:44,437 --> 00:00:49,891
The funny thing is we still complain about
being time-starved and time-deprived.

13
00:00:49,891 --> 00:00:54,248
How many of you have caught yourself
saying, "I wish I had more time"?

14
00:00:54,248 --> 00:00:56,617
"I wish I could make more time"?

15
00:00:56,617 --> 00:00:58,096
Well, I want to challenge that,

16
00:00:58,096 --> 00:01:00,964
and I want to arm you
with some new vocabulary.

17
00:01:00,964 --> 00:01:04,369
So I'd love for you to replace
the "I wish I had more time"

18
00:01:04,369 --> 00:01:07,444
with "I want to create capacity."

19
00:01:08,224 --> 00:01:10,918
Capacity is entrenched in our values.

20
00:01:10,918 --> 00:01:12,718
It is the long game.

21
00:01:13,308 --> 00:01:15,125
It is fueled by passion,

22
00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:16,835
it is supported by energy

23
00:01:16,835 --> 00:01:19,076
and results in fulfillment.

24
00:01:19,158 --> 00:01:20,924
And one can't live without the other,

25
00:01:20,924 --> 00:01:25,348
because if you only had passion,
you probably wouldn't get very much done.

26
00:01:25,348 --> 00:01:30,282
And if you only had energy, you would be
overwhelmed and overcommitted.

27
00:01:30,282 --> 00:01:36,564
And if you only focused on fulfillment,
your passions might be a little shallow.

28
00:01:37,946 --> 00:01:42,454
Human behavior is so interesting
to observe, isn't it?

29
00:01:42,989 --> 00:01:46,505
Think about yourselves at a bookended day,

30
00:01:46,505 --> 00:01:50,507
backed by meetings after meetings
after meetings and commitments.

31
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:55,100
And how we react is we try
to crawl out of this crevice.

32
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,262
We're squeezed for time.

33
00:01:57,262 --> 00:02:00,451
And this climb is exhausting.

34
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:04,206
But some people will say,
"Mel, I am great at multitasking."

35
00:02:04,206 --> 00:02:06,776
How many of you would say
you're great at multitasking?

36
00:02:06,776 --> 00:02:08,473
Raise your hand right now.

37
00:02:08,473 --> 00:02:09,466
Fantastic.

38
00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:13,144
Well, I don't have
fantastic news for you, actually.

39
00:02:13,144 --> 00:02:14,284
(Laughter)

40
00:02:15,324 --> 00:02:20,524
Multitasking is actually
creating some havoc.

41
00:02:21,591 --> 00:02:24,064
This woman here -
I asked my eight-year-old,

42
00:02:24,064 --> 00:02:27,215
I said, "What do you see in this picture?"

43
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:31,508
And she said, "Mom, I see a woman
doing the splits, reading a book

44
00:02:31,508 --> 00:02:32,688
and making a movie."

45
00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:34,160
I said, "Okay."

46
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,831
And then she said, "But Mom,
she doesn't look very happy.

47
00:02:36,831 --> 00:02:39,308
She should be doing one thing."

48
00:02:39,478 --> 00:02:41,442
I was like, mind-blown!

49
00:02:41,442 --> 00:02:43,256
#MomForTheWin. Right?

50
00:02:43,256 --> 00:02:44,377
This was a fantastic.

51
00:02:44,377 --> 00:02:48,209
And then I said to my husband, I said,
"Hon, what do you see in this picture?"

52
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,736
And he said,

53
00:02:50,113 --> 00:02:51,565
"A woman."

54
00:02:52,092 --> 00:02:55,137
So I will not deconstruct
that answer right now.

55
00:02:55,315 --> 00:02:57,177
We will save that for later.

56
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,899
But the point is that multitasking
and task-switching

57
00:02:59,899 --> 00:03:02,322
is actually making us dumb!

58
00:03:02,322 --> 00:03:05,847
It is decreasing our IQ by 15 points.

59
00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:09,686
It is actually like operating
on a sleepless night.

60
00:03:09,686 --> 00:03:13,804
It is like getting an eight-year-old
to write the most important email.

61
00:03:13,804 --> 00:03:15,612
And would we do that?

62
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,619
No.

63
00:03:16,619 --> 00:03:18,265
That's not what we want to do.

64
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:20,294
A lot of people will say,

65
00:03:20,294 --> 00:03:23,454
"You know what, Mel,
this is how I operate.

66
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,309
Multitasking, I'm used to doing it.

67
00:03:25,309 --> 00:03:26,339
I can do it.

68
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:31,213
But I can't get rid of any of these things
because they're all obligations."

69
00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:34,117
And I challenge back softly, and I say,

70
00:03:34,117 --> 00:03:38,153
"You have capacity.
It's just being eroded somewhere.

71
00:03:38,493 --> 00:03:40,721
And we need to find that erosion."

72
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:44,359
One of the main culprits
for these capacity thieves

73
00:03:44,359 --> 00:03:46,930
is our addiction to notifications.

74
00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:51,023
And our addiction to notifications
is killing us slowly.

75
00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,753
Research is actually telling us
that the addiction to the notification,

76
00:03:54,753 --> 00:03:56,734
the disappointment and the anticipation

77
00:03:56,734 --> 00:04:02,383
is creating an excess of stress hormone
and cortisol in our bodies

78
00:04:02,383 --> 00:04:04,618
that our bodies can't
break down fast enough.

79
00:04:04,618 --> 00:04:08,254
Therefore, it's depleting
our cells and our tissues.

80
00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:10,773
This is not the way
we should be operating,

81
00:04:10,773 --> 00:04:14,108
so we need to take note
of where we are distracted.

82
00:04:14,108 --> 00:04:16,772
I have a quick story
about how I was overcapacitating,

83
00:04:16,772 --> 00:04:19,529
and I was overcommitted and overwhelmed

84
00:04:19,529 --> 00:04:21,651
and addicted to adrenaline

85
00:04:21,651 --> 00:04:23,369
and coffee,

86
00:04:23,369 --> 00:04:24,861
loads of coffee.

87
00:04:24,861 --> 00:04:28,636
And I found myself at my doctor's
more often than I would want to admit

88
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:32,384
because I was experiencing symptoms
that I had never experienced before:

89
00:04:32,384 --> 00:04:38,906
acute nosebleeds, skin issues,
hair loss, migraines, cellulitis.

90
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:42,432
And so I went back
to the doctor's one last time,

91
00:04:42,432 --> 00:04:43,440
and she looked at me,

92
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,656
and then she looked at her notepad,
and she wrote ... something,

93
00:04:46,656 --> 00:04:47,887
handed it to me,

94
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:48,944
and I read it.

95
00:04:48,944 --> 00:04:53,793
And it said, "This patient is disabled
from all duties for one month."

96
00:04:54,297 --> 00:04:56,082
And I wanted to refute it.

97
00:04:56,082 --> 00:04:58,028
And I wanted to contest it.

98
00:04:58,028 --> 00:04:59,379
But I didn't.

99
00:04:59,379 --> 00:05:01,287
I took it back.

100
00:05:01,287 --> 00:05:02,773
The world works in strange ways

101
00:05:02,773 --> 00:05:05,623
because that day on my way home,
I received a phone call

102
00:05:05,623 --> 00:05:09,047
that was probably one of the best
phone calls I had ever received,

103
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:13,874
and the message was that I had been
the recipient of a 40 Under 40 award.

104
00:05:14,202 --> 00:05:17,897
I was ecstatic, but I was conflicted.

105
00:05:17,897 --> 00:05:21,709
Because the world had just rewarded me
for overcapacitating.

106
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,235
So I immediately called
the doctor's office back

107
00:05:24,235 --> 00:05:26,353
and negotiated one week
instead of one month.

108
00:05:26,353 --> 00:05:27,354
(Laughter)

109
00:05:27,354 --> 00:05:29,021
But I took that week,

110
00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:31,388
and in deep self-reflection,

111
00:05:31,728 --> 00:05:35,377
I really took a deep look
at how I was operating

112
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,649
and how I needed to change.

113
00:05:37,649 --> 00:05:38,663
Because I knew

114
00:05:38,663 --> 00:05:42,187
I didn't want to be at the mercy of other
people's commitments or requests,

115
00:05:42,187 --> 00:05:43,547
and I didn't want to go home

116
00:05:43,547 --> 00:05:47,002
hoping I would have enough energy
to read my kids a book

117
00:05:47,332 --> 00:05:50,102
without wanting to take a nap instead.

118
00:05:50,102 --> 00:05:51,953
And so I did something.

119
00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:55,714
In deep self-reflection, I create.

120
00:05:57,492 --> 00:05:58,756
And I created a structure,

121
00:05:58,756 --> 00:06:01,427
because I knew I wasn't the only one
suffering from this.

122
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,672
I knew there was other people
that could benefit

123
00:06:03,672 --> 00:06:07,088
for something that I could learn
from all of these experiences.

124
00:06:07,088 --> 00:06:09,010
And so after research and observation

125
00:06:09,010 --> 00:06:12,933
and discussion and listening to people
and how they were talking about time,

126
00:06:12,933 --> 00:06:16,305
I discovered that there were four states
of capacity that we operate in

127
00:06:16,305 --> 00:06:18,407
at any given time.

128
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:22,032
And it's not based on personality.

129
00:06:22,032 --> 00:06:23,244
It's not based on IQ.

130
00:06:23,244 --> 00:06:25,783
It's not based on your left brain
or your right brain.

131
00:06:25,783 --> 00:06:28,207
It's simply the decisions that we make

132
00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:31,905
that make us operate
in one of these states of capacity.

133
00:06:32,065 --> 00:06:33,172
There are four.

134
00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:35,226
And it will take you
on a bit of a journey,

135
00:06:35,226 --> 00:06:37,556
which could be a typical trajectory

136
00:06:37,556 --> 00:06:41,849
of how someone can actually
fluidly flow through

137
00:06:41,849 --> 00:06:44,279
these four states of capacity.

138
00:06:44,408 --> 00:06:49,322
We have indulgent, fatigued,
reserved and maximized.

139
00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,770
Let's start with indulgent, shall we?

140
00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:54,369
Indulgent state of capacity
is where we say yes;

141
00:06:54,369 --> 00:06:56,430
it's where we're addicted
to the adrenaline.

142
00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:58,745
It's where we want to validate our talent.

143
00:06:58,745 --> 00:07:00,977
It's where we say yes a lot.

144
00:07:00,982 --> 00:07:04,424
But when we say yes too much,
we become overcommitted and overwhelmed,

145
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,847
and when we're not
taking care of ourselves,

146
00:07:06,847 --> 00:07:08,256
many of you will know

147
00:07:08,256 --> 00:07:10,060
that this happens.

148
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:14,074
It's the second state of capacity,
which is fatigued and it's burnout.

149
00:07:14,074 --> 00:07:15,691
This is not where we want to be.

150
00:07:15,691 --> 00:07:18,163
Because a reboot is clearly in order.

151
00:07:18,163 --> 00:07:20,995
We need to resign
from some of these habits.

152
00:07:21,221 --> 00:07:26,056
We have no capacity to give
to anyone or anything.

153
00:07:27,319 --> 00:07:29,207
Burnout, actually,

154
00:07:29,207 --> 00:07:33,084
is something that has just
been deemed a medical condition

155
00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:38,044
by the [World] Health
Organization just last week.

156
00:07:39,165 --> 00:07:42,338
Very interesting, but very scary
at the same time.

157
00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:45,383
So we want to emerge from this;
we want to get out of this state.

158
00:07:45,383 --> 00:07:46,952
We want to move to another state,

159
00:07:46,952 --> 00:07:49,973
and this is the third one
called the reserved state of capacity.

160
00:07:49,973 --> 00:07:52,260
Now, a couple of different
things can happen here

161
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:54,886
because this is where
we have now restored our capacity,

162
00:07:54,886 --> 00:07:57,128
but we're very hesitant to give it away

163
00:07:57,128 --> 00:08:00,068
because we don't want
to end up back in fatigued.

164
00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:04,862
It's also a place where
we can do restorative activities

165
00:08:04,862 --> 00:08:06,157
to maintain,

166
00:08:06,157 --> 00:08:08,320
to build capacity.

167
00:08:08,818 --> 00:08:10,963
Where we really want
to spend most of our time

168
00:08:10,963 --> 00:08:12,961
is in the fourth state,
and it's maximized.

169
00:08:12,961 --> 00:08:16,521
This is where we say yes with discernment
and no without guilt.

170
00:08:16,521 --> 00:08:19,364
This is where we're connected to our why.

171
00:08:19,364 --> 00:08:21,034
This is where we want to be.

172
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,677
This is where we want
to spend most of our time.

173
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:24,846
As a business professor,

174
00:08:24,846 --> 00:08:27,976
I teach time management,
prioritization, decision making,

175
00:08:27,976 --> 00:08:31,324
but as a student,
I never learnt about capacity,

176
00:08:31,499 --> 00:08:32,884
and so I teach it.

177
00:08:32,884 --> 00:08:34,419
It's important.

178
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:39,147
We are so good at booking ourselves
back to back to back.

179
00:08:39,147 --> 00:08:43,697
Any space we can find
in the calendar, we might book.

180
00:08:44,994 --> 00:08:50,838
My wish is for that the next generation
to avoid being diagnosed with burnout,

181
00:08:50,838 --> 00:08:54,337
to be able to stand
on their two feet firmly,

182
00:08:54,507 --> 00:08:57,908
centered in their values,
discerning in their decisions

183
00:08:57,908 --> 00:09:00,256
and respecting their capacity.

184
00:09:01,476 --> 00:09:05,634
I want you and I
to be able to use new language.

185
00:09:05,634 --> 00:09:07,761
I want us to be able to tell each other

186
00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:11,468
"I'm sorry, I don't have
the capacity for that right now."

187
00:09:11,881 --> 00:09:13,380
And it's different.

188
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:14,957
There's a shift.

189
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,760
There's a mutual understanding.

190
00:09:19,081 --> 00:09:23,346
Simply put, capacity is the ability
to say yes to something,

191
00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:24,670
wholeheartedly,

192
00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:28,587
but also knowing you have to say no
to something else.

193
00:09:28,587 --> 00:09:29,587
[YES. NO]

194
00:09:29,587 --> 00:09:32,183
You said yes to listening to this today,

195
00:09:32,183 --> 00:09:34,832
and I am eternally grateful.

196
00:09:34,832 --> 00:09:39,223
But you also said no to something else
that you could have been doing today.

197
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:41,407
And that's what this is all about.

198
00:09:41,407 --> 00:09:44,710
It's reframing the way
we make commitments.

199
00:09:45,145 --> 00:09:46,156
So right now,

200
00:09:46,156 --> 00:09:50,722
I want to give you an experience
of what capacity actually feels like.

201
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:52,682
So you have these rubber bands,

202
00:09:52,682 --> 00:09:55,159
and I want you to put them
between your two fingers,

203
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,784
your two index fingers, right now.

204
00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:00,186
Alright.

205
00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:02,797
This is capacity elasticity

206
00:10:02,797 --> 00:10:04,912
because our capacity has elastic.

207
00:10:04,912 --> 00:10:07,741
We can stretch our capacity.

208
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,888
So I'm going to ask you
a series of questions,

209
00:10:09,888 --> 00:10:12,463
and you're going to say yes
whether you want to or not.

210
00:10:12,463 --> 00:10:14,366
But don't worry, I won't hold you to it.

211
00:10:14,366 --> 00:10:15,617
Okay? Everybody's with me?

212
00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:17,404
Alright. Fantastic. Okay.

213
00:10:17,404 --> 00:10:19,550
Hey, do you think
you can join this committee?

214
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:21,459
We'd love to have you on this committee.

215
00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:22,463
Yes.

216
00:10:22,463 --> 00:10:23,464
Okay, fantastic.

217
00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:25,855
At the first meeting,
do you think you can lead it?

218
00:10:25,855 --> 00:10:27,490
You're the best person to do that.

219
00:10:27,490 --> 00:10:28,490
Yes.

220
00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:29,538
And, we need coffee.

221
00:10:29,538 --> 00:10:32,290
Can you pick up the coffee
before we get to that meeting?

222
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:33,294
Great, okay.

223
00:10:33,294 --> 00:10:34,823
We're having a BBQ next weekend.

224
00:10:34,823 --> 00:10:36,567
I'd love you to bring your family.

225
00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:38,168
Come on over. Right?

226
00:10:38,168 --> 00:10:39,546
And, hey, while you're there,

227
00:10:39,546 --> 00:10:42,940
we have some furniture we need to move,
and I'd love for you to help us.

228
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:43,937
Okay, yes.

229
00:10:43,937 --> 00:10:45,762
Your elastic band should be stretched.

230
00:10:45,762 --> 00:10:48,963
Your fingers should be shaking
a little bit, okay?

231
00:10:48,963 --> 00:10:51,951
This is how we walk around
when we're overcommitted.

232
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,630
This is the feeling.

233
00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,678
Your faces are a little
contorted right now.

234
00:10:55,678 --> 00:10:58,293
I'm not sure if it's because
the band is going to snap -

235
00:10:58,293 --> 00:11:00,292
and I'm not responsible for any injuries.

236
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:04,287
However, this is how we walk around,
and this is how we show up.

237
00:11:04,287 --> 00:11:08,673
So release that band
and find the right tension.

238
00:11:08,673 --> 00:11:12,000
Because when we are intentional
about our capacity,

239
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,134
there's a comfortable tension.

240
00:11:14,134 --> 00:11:17,329
But there's also a state
of being underleveraged

241
00:11:17,329 --> 00:11:19,696
when there's not enough tension.

242
00:11:19,696 --> 00:11:21,970
So pay attention to that.

243
00:11:23,732 --> 00:11:25,593
We make time for groceries!

244
00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:27,049
We make time for errands!

245
00:11:27,049 --> 00:11:30,299
We make time for meetings
and quick coffees!

246
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:34,112
We shouldn't be making time
for moments like this.

247
00:11:34,288 --> 00:11:37,705
This is where we should be
creating capacity for our loved ones,

248
00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:41,578
for moments that
we don't get a do-over for.

249
00:11:41,751 --> 00:11:44,916
This is where we need
to preserve and pace.

250
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,135
We measure everything else.

251
00:11:47,135 --> 00:11:49,344
We measure our calories.
We measure our weight.

252
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,994
We measure our macros,
our micros, our bank accounts.

253
00:11:51,994 --> 00:11:53,576
We measure time.

254
00:11:53,677 --> 00:11:59,673
But how many of us actually
really consider measuring our capacity?

255
00:12:00,230 --> 00:12:01,814
It's like when somebody asks you,

256
00:12:01,814 --> 00:12:04,906
"Hey, you want to come over
for a party or come to this event?"

257
00:12:04,906 --> 00:12:08,113
and you check your calendar
and realize you are booked

258
00:12:08,113 --> 00:12:09,775
back to back.

259
00:12:09,775 --> 00:12:11,158
But in some way, you say,

260
00:12:11,158 --> 00:12:14,522
"You know what? I'm busy,
but I'll squeeze you in."

261
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,030
And in some strange way,
we intend to flatter the person

262
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,631
by "squeezing them in."

263
00:12:19,631 --> 00:12:21,898
This is what we're going to do?

264
00:12:22,136 --> 00:12:24,163
I really want us
to challenge that thinking

265
00:12:24,163 --> 00:12:26,473
because it's not flattery at all.

266
00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:31,292
This is the way we show up
when we're overcommitted.

267
00:12:31,477 --> 00:12:35,785
How many of you can relate to this photo
whenever you show up to an event

268
00:12:35,785 --> 00:12:37,845
because you have just
ran from another event

269
00:12:37,845 --> 00:12:40,662
to literally just to try
and make the next one,

270
00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:42,082
and the next one,

271
00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:43,628
and the next one?

272
00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:46,494
No more showing up like this.

273
00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:47,799
[Ego cake]

274
00:12:47,799 --> 00:12:48,806
So what next?

275
00:12:48,806 --> 00:12:49,924
What do we do?

276
00:12:49,924 --> 00:12:51,215
Well,

277
00:12:51,995 --> 00:12:55,745
in time of self-reflection,
I created something.

278
00:12:55,745 --> 00:12:58,810
And this came from
a conversation with my mom.

279
00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:01,207
And the structure is called "ego cake."

280
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:05,385
And the name comes
from discussion that went like this:

281
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,845
So my mom says to me,

282
00:13:06,845 --> 00:13:10,493
she says, "Mel, your life looks
like this decadent dessert table

283
00:13:10,493 --> 00:13:13,735
filled with mouth-watering desserts."

284
00:13:14,155 --> 00:13:17,732
And I was like,
"Yeah, it does. Thank you."

285
00:13:18,228 --> 00:13:24,403
And then she says, "You have taken a bite
out of every single one of them."

286
00:13:24,670 --> 00:13:28,572
I was like, alright, where's this going?
I didn't really expect it to go this way.

287
00:13:28,729 --> 00:13:29,748
I said, "Okay."

288
00:13:29,748 --> 00:13:33,751
And she said, "Which one
have you enjoyed the most?"

289
00:13:35,432 --> 00:13:37,276
I didn't have an answer.

290
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:39,466
I didn't know which one
I had enjoyed the most.

291
00:13:39,466 --> 00:13:41,570
I couldn't possibly
have enjoyed one of them;

292
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:44,848
I had taken a bite out of all of them,
and I was bloated and full

293
00:13:44,848 --> 00:13:48,059
from all of the opportunities
that I had tried to take advantage of.

294
00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:50,265
I was overcommitted.

295
00:13:50,265 --> 00:13:53,653
And so, I went back
and created a structure

296
00:13:53,653 --> 00:13:56,164
that helps us deconstruct
our commitment patterns,

297
00:13:56,164 --> 00:14:00,430
that helps us observe
our indulgent behaviors.

298
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:05,831
So just like a cake, it has five layers,
and it starts from the bottom.

299
00:14:06,677 --> 00:14:10,378
Options in abundance leads to stagnation.

300
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,552
We are sold to 24/7.

301
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:16,156
"Buy this." "Do this." "Be this."

302
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,486
How do we possibly decide?

303
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:24,423
Distraction is the death
of productivity and creativity.

304
00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:28,308
When we are distracted,
we don't do our best work.

305
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:30,181
And the third layer is resignment.

306
00:14:30,181 --> 00:14:32,984
And it is the juiciest
layer of this structure

307
00:14:32,984 --> 00:14:36,485
because this is where
we get to say no with discernment.

308
00:14:36,485 --> 00:14:40,087
We need to resign from the things
that are no longer serving us.

309
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,611
Because when we do that,

310
00:14:41,611 --> 00:14:44,765
it allows us to be more aware
of what's in front of us,

311
00:14:44,765 --> 00:14:49,615
more aware of the opportunities
that bring us joy and fulfill our souls.

312
00:14:49,615 --> 00:14:52,655
And once we do that,
we have the power to commit,

313
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:54,683
which is the fifth layer.

314
00:14:54,859 --> 00:14:56,437
Now, I want you to remember this,

315
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,953
and I want you to do this
anywhere, any place, any time.

316
00:14:59,953 --> 00:15:01,751
So I'm going to ask you to join me

317
00:15:01,751 --> 00:15:05,325
by raising your left hand,
palm facing your chest,

318
00:15:05,835 --> 00:15:09,034
pinkies down, fingers nice and tight.

319
00:15:09,274 --> 00:15:10,846
Alright, perfect.

320
00:15:11,196 --> 00:15:14,543
The pinky finger represents options,
obligations and opportunities,

321
00:15:14,543 --> 00:15:18,709
and notice how our pinky is pretty short,

322
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,626
so choose wisely.

323
00:15:20,956 --> 00:15:24,413
The second layer is our ring finger,
and it's about distraction.

324
00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:27,006
And usually it's adorned
by some sort of jewelry,

325
00:15:27,006 --> 00:15:29,273
and it's like, oh, wow,
that's really shiny.

326
00:15:29,273 --> 00:15:31,446
Sorry, I got distracted
there for a moment.

327
00:15:31,446 --> 00:15:32,670
Okay?

328
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,928
And then our middle finger
is about resignation.

329
00:15:34,928 --> 00:15:38,416
And it is by no coincidence
it is our middle finger

330
00:15:38,416 --> 00:15:42,343
to say no to the things
that are not serving us anymore.

331
00:15:42,343 --> 00:15:43,357
(Laughter)

332
00:15:43,357 --> 00:15:45,682
And the fourth layer is our pointer,

333
00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:46,691
and it's awareness,

334
00:15:46,691 --> 00:15:49,017
and it's about creating and observing

335
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:53,511
and being aware of all
of the newfound space we've created

336
00:15:53,511 --> 00:15:55,098
from resignment.

337
00:15:55,098 --> 00:15:57,489
And finally, commitment.

338
00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:01,735
Remember that when we are able
to say yes to something,

339
00:16:01,735 --> 00:16:05,364
we also have to say no to something else.

340
00:16:05,613 --> 00:16:06,671
Thank you so much,

341
00:16:06,671 --> 00:16:09,460
and I trust that you're respecting
your capacity today.

342
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:10,462
(Applause) (Cheers)

343
00:16:10,462 --> 00:16:11,787
Thank you.