[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.15,0:00:02.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was pregnant,\NI just got very frustrated. Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.94,0:00:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't eat deli meats,\Ndo this particular prenatal test. Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.65,0:00:08.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why did you make that choice?\NWhy didn't you make a different choice? Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.94,0:00:13.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt like I was being told to do things,\Nand I never got the answer to why. Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.48,0:00:16.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[The Way We Work] Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.82,0:00:21.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes in the world of modern parenting\Nyou just can't seem to win. Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.15,0:00:23.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I go back to work,\NI spend less time with my kid. Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.65,0:00:26.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if they don't get the attention\Nthey need to adequately develop? Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.94,0:00:29.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I stay home\Nand give up my income stream, Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.15,0:00:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will I look back and regret my decision? Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.44,0:00:33.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot of\Nconflicting advice out there Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.65,0:00:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about whether to stay home\Nor go back to work, Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.86,0:00:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so trying to make a choice between the two\Ncan be confusing and emotional. Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.52,0:00:41.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You love your kids\Nand want what's best for them, Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.86,0:00:45.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but how do you determine what best means\Nwhen everyone has a different opinion? Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.61,0:00:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are many variations of parents\Nthat a household can have, Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.65,0:00:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I think more families\Nshould be asking the question Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.27,0:00:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of whether it makes sense\Nfor the male partner to stay home. Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.15,0:00:56.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the truth is that in the current time, Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.23,0:00:58.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most of the discussions\Nabout stay-at-home parents Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.61,0:01:00.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,focus on women in particular. Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.06,0:01:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's usually the women\Nwho say they feel Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.32,0:01:06.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that what they do during the day\Nis going to determine at a deep level Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.40,0:01:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what kind of mom and person they are. Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.65,0:01:11.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is a huge weight\Nto put on yourself as a parent. Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.19,0:01:13.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when you're met with the side-eye Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.06,0:01:15.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after telling someone\Nyou're going back to work or not, Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.69,0:01:17.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it can poke holes in your confidence. Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.56,0:01:19.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided to dig in and find out. Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.23,0:01:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it better to stay at home\Nor go back to work? Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.52,0:01:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an emotional decision, yes, Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.11,0:01:25.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but as an economist I've learned\Nthat we can use data Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.69,0:01:28.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help navigate through\Nthose emotional decisions Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.06,0:01:31.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and feel confident we're making\Nthe best decision for our family. Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.15,0:01:34.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Specifically there are three main factors\Nyou should consider before you decide. Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.94,0:01:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, you need to think about Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.44,0:01:38.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how this decision will affect\Nyour family budget. Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.82,0:01:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's do some numbers. Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.11,0:01:42.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Say your total household\Nincome is 100,000 dollars, Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.90,0:01:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with you and your partner\Nmaking 50,000 each. Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.44,0:01:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That means you bring home\Nabout 85,000 dollars after taxes. Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.44,0:01:50.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If both of you work Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.94,0:01:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the family pays\N1,500 dollars a month for childcare, Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.15,0:01:57.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your total disposable income\Nwould be 67,000 dollars a year. Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.65,0:01:58.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you with me so far? Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.94,0:02:00.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you decide to stay home, Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.32,0:02:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your family makes less\Nbut you don't pay for childcare. Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.02,0:02:05.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your disposable income\Ngoes down in this scenario, Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.40,0:02:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but not by as much as it would\Nif you didn't factor in the childcare. Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.69,0:02:12.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It becomes more complicated if childcare\Nis more expensive in your area. Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.11,0:02:14.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A full-time nanny\Ncan run 40, 50,000 dollars a year Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.86,0:02:16.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,depending on where you live. Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.27,0:02:19.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If that's the case in your neighborhood,\Nin the scenario I outlined, Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.61,0:02:22.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would completely wipe out\None parent's income, Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.52,0:02:25.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you'd be better off financially\Nwith one parent staying home. Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.60,0:02:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, this is only\Na short-term analysis. Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.94,0:02:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Childcare is less expensive sometimes\Nwhen kids are in school, Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.90,0:02:36.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you may make a higher income later,\Nso you want to factor that in if you can. Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.11,0:02:38.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once you've done the math,\Nyou'll know what's possible Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.73,0:02:41.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you'll be able to make\Na more informed choice, Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.15,0:02:42.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which should feel empowering. Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.61,0:02:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Second, it's time to talk\Nabout what's best for your child. Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.48,0:02:48.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may think this should be\Nthe core of your decision, Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.15,0:02:50.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but there's actually no right answer. Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.77,0:02:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,According to studies\Nfrom Europe and the US, Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.90,0:02:56.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the decision to go back to work\Nor stay at home Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.27,0:02:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,won't actually make or break\Nyour child's future success. Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.15,0:03:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Research shows that two parents\Nworking full-time Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.98,0:03:05.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has a similar effect on your child's\Nfuture test scores and income Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.61,0:03:07.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to one parent working and one not. Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.82,0:03:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What seems to be most\Nimportant is the environment Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.23,0:03:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your child is in during their spare time. Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.61,0:03:15.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As long as they're engaging\Nin enriching activities; Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.11,0:03:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reading, practicing their motor skills,\Ninteracting with other kids, Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.36,0:03:21.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're going to thrive\Nwhether or not you're at home. Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.27,0:03:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a bit of nuance in the data. Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.15,0:03:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, studies have found, Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.40,0:03:27.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that if both parents work, Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.27,0:03:31.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kids from poorer families\Nare impacted positively, Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.02,0:03:34.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and kids from richer families\Nare impacted less positively. Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.32,0:03:36.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So depending on your\Nhousehold configuration, Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.56,0:03:39.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the effects on your child\Ncould be a little positive, Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.36,0:03:40.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a little negative, Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.65,0:03:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the overall impact is negligible. Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.48,0:03:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I want to call out an exception:\Nmaternity leave. Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.48,0:03:49.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a growing body of evidence\Nsuggesting that babies do better Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.02,0:03:51.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when their mothers\Ntake some maternity leave. Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.19,0:03:54.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The early days with your child\Ncan impact their development, Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.23,0:03:56.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so if you have paid leave,\Nyou should take it, Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.77,0:03:58.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if you don't, maybe consider Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.48,0:04:00.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taking some unpaid leave\Nfor those first few months, Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.98,0:04:02.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if your budget allows. Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.40,0:04:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And finally, ask yourself, what do I want? Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.06,0:04:06.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While this may seem simple, Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.65,0:04:09.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's the factor that feels\Nmost taboo to explore. Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.36,0:04:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In talking to parents I find that\Nwhen a woman chooses to stay home, Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.77,0:04:14.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she often feels obligated to say Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.82,0:04:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she made this choice\Nfor her children's optimal development. Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.15,0:04:20.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which, sure, can be part of the reason, Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.94,0:04:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but a perfectly acceptable answer is,\N"this is the lifestyle I prefer," Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.11,0:04:27.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or "this is what works for my family." Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.02,0:04:28.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The same goes for the working mother. Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.86,0:04:32.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Saying, "I like my job, and that's why\NI went back to work," is enough. Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.23,0:04:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want to go back\Nto work, that's great. Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.48,0:04:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're lucky to have a job that you love Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.44,0:04:39.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you have every right to keep it\Nonce you become a parent. Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.36,0:04:41.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be honest with yourself\Nabout what you'd like to do. Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.90,0:04:44.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're upfront about that,\Nyou're guaranteed to feel happier, Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.98,0:04:48.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which will allow you to be\Nthe best version of a parent you can be, Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.19,0:04:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and isn't that the whole point? Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.73,0:04:52.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no right and wrong\Nwhen it comes to parenting. Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.36,0:04:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The best decision is the one Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.77,0:04:56.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that will make you --\Nand your family -- the happiest. Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.40,0:04:58.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Up to you to decide what's next. Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.11,0:05:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By acknowledging that the choice\Nto stay home or not Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.65,0:05:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is just that, a choice, Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.90,0:05:05.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with factors pushing you\Nin various directions, Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.52,0:05:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can ditch the guilt and enjoy\Ndoing what feels best for our families.