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I kid you not, as soon as I turned on the camera,

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my heart just like immediately started beating really hard but...

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ok.

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Hey what's up you guys,

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so today I wanna talk to you guys about something.

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So 2014 has been by far the biggest year for me.

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I've done a lot of things and gone a lot of places,

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and you guys know all about that.

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But you don't know the biggest thing

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that's happened to me this year.

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So I'm sitting here in front of you with

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no script, no plan, no fancy editing,

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and I'm just gonna be really honest.

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2014 is truly the year that I have accepted who I am

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and become happy with that person.

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So today, I wanna talk to you guys about that

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and be open and honest and tell you that

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I'm gay.

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This may come as a shock to a lot of you

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and it may be confusing,

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so I'm gonna backtrack a little bit.

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Growing up, I always knew I was a little bit

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different than everyone else.

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I always just had the feeling that I wasn't the same,

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but it wasn't until I was 12 years old,

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until I really had pinpointed what that was.

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For some reason, my 7th grade year,

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I had this thought in the back of my head

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'what if I'm gay?'

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And I immediately was so terrified.

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I'm from a small town in the mid-west.

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That's not a normal thing there.

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I didn't even know what that word meant.

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I had only met a couple gay people in my entire life.

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It was terrifying to me to have to think that

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I was something that I knew nothing about.

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So I immediately pushed it away

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and tried not to think about it.

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But as anyone who has gone through this knows,

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you can't not think about it.

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I was up all night,

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for I can't tell you how many nights,

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just thinking, like, looking at the ceiling,

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just thinking about this.

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And I was so scared of it that I never told anybody.

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So fast forward into high school,

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I tried to avoid it by dating girls.

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All I wanted to do was be like everyone else.

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So I would date girls, I would kiss girls,

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but I would feel nothing.

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I just wanted everything to be like everyone else said it was,

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I just wanted to be normal,

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I just wanted to talk about what I wanted to talk about

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and be who I was,

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but I didn't feel like I could be that.

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I felt so isolated because I had this secret

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that I couldn't even talk to myself about,

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let alone other people.

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And it wasn't until the sophomore year in college

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that I really thought about it.

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I thought about it so much

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that I became obsessed with it.

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And having that thought to myself for so long

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started talking over my life

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and I started feeling depressed.

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I felt like there was no escape from my own thoughts,

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but I thought to myself,

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'maybe I can continue to avoid this,

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if I just don't act on it,

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it'll never be a thing'.

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I don't know what it was but one year ago,

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I kept trying to get myself to look in the mirror

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and say it.

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I was tired of running,

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I was tired of hiding who I truly was,

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so I just tried to say it.

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I don't think you'll understand unless you've gone through it,

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but I couldn't say it.

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Like, I was not capable of saying it,

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my mouth could not utter those words.

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Until one time, I did.

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And it felt like a mixture of every emotion possible.

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I was really relieved that I finally said it,

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but I was also so terrified

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that I had finally admitted that to myself.

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Then the next step was to tell a person.

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So in January this year

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after keeping one of my friends up till like 5 am on his couch,

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I told him.

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And I felt great.

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From then on I was just continuing to tell people.

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I started to tell more friend,

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I told my parents, I told my siblings,

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and one by one,

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I just started checking people off this list.

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And everyone was so great.

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I am so fortunate that everyone,

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they didn't even, like,

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they didn't look at me different,

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they didn't treat me different,

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they just said 'ok' like it was no big deal.

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This whole thing that I had built up inside me

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to be this huge deal for 22 years,

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wasn't.

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In just one year, I've honestly felt like

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I am so happy with who I am,

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and I'm making this video

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because I was sick of having to think constantly about

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what I was doing, what I was saying, what I was wearing,

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just, I don't wanna have to think about everything I do.

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I just wanna be able to be me

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and not be afraid.

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I'm sick of censoring myself.

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This is just one little part of who I am,

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and I'm not gonna let my sexuality

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define or confine me.

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It's part of me. It's not all of me.

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So today I'm making this video for a couple of reasons.

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One, I put a vast majority of my life on the internet,

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and I want this to be one of those things.

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Two, the reason I accepted this information

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was because of the internet.

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I watched every coming out video possible, four times.

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I've googled, I went in chatrooms,

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I've found every way online

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to talk about this and to figure it out.

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Because I never felt comfortable

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actually talking about it to anybody.

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So I'm making this video for anyone who needs it.

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It's ok.

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It may not seem like it right now,

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but you are gonna be fine.

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I know it's scary but don't be afraid.

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You are who you are

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and you should love that person.

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I don't want anyone to have to go through

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22 years of their life

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afraid to accept that.

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Three, I just wanna set a precedent.

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Race, gender, religion, sexuality,

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we are all people and that's it.

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We're all people, we're all equal.

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I don't want anyone to have to be afraid.

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I don't want anyone to hold back who they are.

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It's not ok.

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It's not a good thing.

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I don't know what else to say.

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My friends, my family and you guys have supported me

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through anything and everything

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and I can't thank you for that enough.

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This has been easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do,

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but I'm so happy that I'm doing it.

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This video somehow turned into a sad, serious moment

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and I'm not gonna let it end on that note.

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In true Connor Franta fashion,

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I'm gonna end my video like I always do

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because this is just another video.

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It's just another video

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where you found out a little more about me.

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So until next monday... Bye!