[New York Close Up]
[Ruby Sky Stiler, Artist]
[Daniel Gordon, Artist]
[GORDON] We started grad school at the same time.
Ruby was in sculpture, and I was in photo--
and had a big crush on her.
[STILER] And then, it took us a little while,
because we were both really shy.
[GORDON] But from the time that we got together,
we've just been together.
[STILER] This makes Danny's glue gun look kind of lame, right?
[GORDON] I don't know, I mean I...
Works for me.
[Danny and Ruby are married.]
[GORDON] I mean, art is so much of our life,
so, you know, art is the personal.
I kind of did some new things.
Like this vase was...
is just leaning slightly to the right--
which I don't mind,
but I just started to worry that
it was something that would annoy somebody else.
So, I'm texting Ruby
without letting her know exactly what I'm concerned with,
So that, if she sees it,
and she says, "I don't like that,"
I would probably remake the picture.
[STILER] That's one thing that Danny...
I think Danny and I do really well together,
is give each other really no-frills feedback. [LAUGHS]
[GORDON] Oh shit.
Hmm.
[STILER] So, here's the picture that I was going to show you.
Can you see that?
Look at all those babies.
Oh, here you can see.
See that baby?
That's mine.
And that's Danny.
He's cute, right?
But it's not just looks with him--
it's the whole package.
[LAUGHS]
["Daniel Gordon and Ruby Sky Stiler Take Baby Steps"]
[Gus Stiler Gordon, Baby]
[GORDON] Before Gus was born...
[STILER] Typical studio day...
We would wake up at 9, then...
[GORDON] Well, unless I went surfing.
And then studio,
which could be anywhere from 2 to,
you know, 8 hours.
Or 10 hours.
[STILER] We do a lot of stuff at night, too.
[GORDON] And then, yeah,
drinks with friends, or dinner.
[STILER] Make love for hours.
[GORDON, LAUGHING] Make love for hours.
[GUS LAUGHS]
[GORDON] Yeah, that is funny!
And, up we go!
[KISSING SOUNDS]
[STILER] We're ambitious,
and we want to accomplish things.
And, for years, we've been like,
"Well, you know, we really don't know about having a kid,"
"because neither one of us wants to give up anything."
That was a big thing for us.
And then, we realized, like,
"Fuck this conversation."
Like, this is like, not something we can control.
[GORDON] Yeah, let's just... let's...
Whatever.
We'll see what happens.
[STILER] Yeah.
[Gowanus, Brooklyn]
[STILER] I'm so completely obsessed with my work.
There's this mythology that
you have to sacrifice everything to be a good mom.
At least that's the one that I inherited.
You know, so I think that there was, like,
a lot of extra guilt for me,
that I was choosing to take myself out of...
out of Gus's daily life.
And that was my decision.
And then also, guilt that I really wanted to go back to my studio.
[STILER] Hi, guys!
[GORDON] You're going to stain all of them?
[STILER] Yeah, but there is something about the staining
that brings out...
I mean, this sounds really quaint when I say it,
but it brings out, like, the...
[GUS COUGHS]
[STILER] You okay?
[GORDON] You okay?
[KISSING SOUNDS]
[STILER] I remember, when Danny went back to work, everyone would be like,
"Oh my God, you're an amazing dad."
"You took six weeks off; that's so cool."
And he was getting, like, a lot of positive feedback.
And then when I went back to work--at three months--to my studio,
I remember so many comments like this one:
"That must be so hard."
I had a lot more fear and anxiety about losing my identity,
and losing the things that I've managed to accomplish so far--
and, like, my small foothold in being an artist that's working.
And Danny didn't have that kind of anxiety.
But, I think I was afraid I wouldn't be a good enough mom.
Whenever I would talk to women of a different generation--
of an older generation--
the response would be like,
"Well maybe you need to rethink your life right now."
As opposed to what I really needed, which was reinforcement--
that I was not, like, fucking up my baby
and, you know, being selfish.
But I don't know, Daniel,
I mean, did you ever have any guilty feeling going back?
Because I remember you blasted out of here.
[GORDON] I was conflicted, I think,
when I first went back to work.
When there's less time, you just have to be more thoughtful
about how you spend it.
Even though it's maybe...
there's less available time,
I haven't got less done.
I really haven't.
[We are currently closed for installation. Daniel Gordon's exhibition "Screen Selections and Still Lifes" opens Thursday, October 30th...]
[GORDON] Is it ready?
[WALLSPACE, Chelsea]
Yeah, I mean, like...
You know...
I want them to read as individual works, but...
[STILER] But was this a decision, their spacing here?
Because this feels kind of...
[GORDON] Yeah. Yeah.
[STILER] I think it looks so great.
[GORDON] Cool. You do?
[STILER] Mmm hmm. I love it.
I love it.
[GORDON] But, honestly, now having Gus,
it's such a pleasure and a relief
to have some other thing that's very important,
that pulls you away from all that stuff.
You know, you can't obsess and take care of Gus;
you have to obsess about Gus,
and then you can obsess about the other stuff,
or whatever, you know,
like it's really nice to have
just this whole other amazing part.
It's not about art;
it's just about... I don't know...
it's about...
Life and love and family
and all that good stuff.
[STILER] And, you know, eventually a studio assistant.
[GORDON] Yeah, small hand labor as well, which...
[LAUGHING]
I think that will come into play in a couple of years, so...
[STILER] Okay, but don't be mad at me, okay sweetie?
Alright?
[GORDON] What's this?
Because I've been wondering all this time!
You got your pants all dirty, crazy guy.