0:00:00.720,0:00:05.000
People have been using media[br]to talk about sex for a long time.

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Love letters, phone sex, racy Polaroids.

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There's even a story of a girl who eloped[br]with a man that she met over the telegraph

0:00:15.560,0:00:17.200
in 1886.

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Today we have sexting,[br]and I am a sexting expert.

0:00:23.680,0:00:25.560
Not an expert sexter.

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Though, I do know what this means --[br]I think you do too.

0:00:31.000,0:00:32.375
[it's a penis]

0:00:32.400,0:00:34.760
(Laughter)

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I have been studying sexting since[br]the media attention to it began in 2008.

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I wrote a book on the moral[br]panic about sexting.

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And here's what I found:

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most people are worrying[br]about the wrong thing.

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They're trying to just prevent[br]sexting from happening entirely.

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But let me ask you this:

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As long as it's completely consensual,[br]what's the problem with sexting?

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People are into all sorts of things[br]that you may not be into,

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like blue cheese or cilantro.

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(Laughter)

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Sexting is certainly risky,[br]like anything that's fun,

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but as long as you're not sending an image[br]to someone who doesn't want to receive it,

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there's no harm.

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What I do think is a serious problem

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is when people share[br]private images of others

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without their permission.

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And instead of worrying about sexting,

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what I think we need to do[br]is think a lot more about digital privacy.

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The key is consent.

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Right now most people[br]are thinking about sexting

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without really thinking[br]about consent at all.

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Did you know that we currently[br]criminalize teen sexting?

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It can be a crime because[br]it counts as child pornography,

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if there's an image of someone under 18,

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and it doesn't even matter

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if they took that image of themselves[br]and shared it willingly.

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So we end up with this[br]bizarre legal situation

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where two 17-year-olds[br]can legally have sex in most US states

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but they can't photograph it.

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Some states have also tried[br]passing sexting misdemeanor laws

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but these laws repeat the same problem

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because they still[br]make consensual sexting illegal.

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It doesn't make sense

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to try to ban all sexting[br]to try to address privacy violations.

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This is kind of like saying,

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let's solve the problem of date rape[br]by just making dating completely illegal.

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Most teens don't get arrested for sexting,[br]but can you guess who does?

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It's often teens who are disliked[br]by their partner's parents.

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And this can be because of class bias,[br]racism or homophobia.

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Most prosecutors are,[br]of course, smart enough

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not to use child pornography charges[br]against teenagers, but some do.

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According to researchers[br]at the University of New Hampshire

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seven percent of all child pornography[br]possession arrests are teens,

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sexting consensually with other teens.

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Child pornography is a serious crime,

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but it's just not[br]the same thing as teen sexting.

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Parents and educators[br]are also responding to sexting

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without really thinking[br]too much about consent.

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Their message to teens is often:[br]just don't do it.

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And I totally get it --[br]there are serious legal risks

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and of course, that potential[br]for privacy violations.

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And when you were a teen,

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I'm sure you did exactly[br]as you were told, right?

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You're probably thinking,[br]my kid would never sext.

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And that's true, your little angel[br]may not be sexting

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because only 33 percent

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of 16- and 17-year-olds are sexting.

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But, sorry, by the time they're older,[br]odds are they will be sexting.

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Every study I've seen puts the rate[br]above 50 percent for 18- to 24-year-olds.

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And most of the time, nothing goes wrong.

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People ask me all the time things like,[br]isn't sexting just so dangerous, though?

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It's like you wouldn't[br]leave your wallet on a park bench

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and you expect it's going to get stolen[br]if you do that, right?

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Here's how I think about it:

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sexting is like leaving your wallet[br]at your boyfriend's house.

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If you come back the next day

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and all the money is just gone,

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you really need to dump that guy.

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(Laughter)

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So instead of criminalizing sexting

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to try to prevent[br]these privacy violations,

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instead we need to make consent central

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to how we think about the circulation[br]of our private information.

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Every new media technology[br]raises privacy concerns.

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In fact, in the US the very first[br]major debates about privacy

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were in response to technologies[br]that were relatively new at the time.

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In the late 1800s,[br]people were worried about cameras,

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which were just suddenly[br]more portable than ever before,

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and newspaper gossip columns.

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They were worried that the camera[br]would capture information about them,

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take it out of context[br]and widely disseminate it.

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Does this sound familiar?

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It's exactly what we're worrying about[br]now with social media and drone cameras,

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and, of course, sexting.

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And these fears about technology,

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they make sense

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because technologies[br]can amplify and bring out

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our worst qualities and behaviors.

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But there are solutions.

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And we've been here before[br]with a dangerous new technology.

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In 1908, Ford introduced the Model T car.

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Traffic fatality rates were rising.

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It was a serious problem --[br]it looks so safe, right?

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Our first response[br]was to try to change drivers' behavior,

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so we developed speed limits[br]and enforced them through fines.

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But over the following decades,

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we started to realize the technology[br]of the car itself is not just neutral.

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We could design the car to make it safer.

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So in the 1920s, we got[br]shatter-resistant windshields.

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In the 1950s, seat belts.

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And in the 1990s, airbags.

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All three of these areas:

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laws, individuals and industry[br]came together over time

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to help solve the problem[br]that a new technology causes.

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And we can do the same thing[br]with digital privacy.

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Of course, it comes back to consent.

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Here's the idea.

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Before anyone can distribute[br]your private information,

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they should have to get your permission.

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This idea of affirmative consent[br]comes from anti-rape activists

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who tell us that we need consent[br]for every sexual act.

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And we have really high standards[br]for consent in a lot of other areas.

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Think about having surgery.

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Your doctor has to make sure

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that you are meaningfully and knowingly[br]consenting to that medical procedure.

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This is not the type of consent[br]like with an iTunes Terms of Service

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where you just scroll to the bottom[br]and you're like, agree, agree, whatever.

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(Laughter)

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If we think more about consent,[br]we can have better privacy laws.

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Right now, we just don't have[br]that many protections.

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If your ex-husband or your ex-wife[br]is a terrible person,

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they can take your nude photos[br]and upload them to a porn site.

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It can be really hard[br]to get those images taken down.

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And in a lot of states,

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you're actually better off[br]if you took the images of yourself

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because then you can[br]file a copyright claim.

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(Laughter)

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Right now, if someone[br]violates your privacy,

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whether that's an individual[br]or a company or the NSA,

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you can try filing a lawsuit,

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though you may not be successful

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because many courts assume[br]that digital privacy is just impossible.

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So they're not willing[br]to punish anyone for violating it.

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I still hear people[br]asking me all the time,

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isn't a digital image somehow blurring[br]the line between public and private

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because it's digital, right?

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No! No!

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Everything digital[br]is not just automatically public.

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That doesn't make any sense.

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As NYU legal scholar[br]Helen Nissenbaum tells us,

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we have laws and policies and norms

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that protect all kinds[br]of information that's private,

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and it doesn't make a difference[br]if it's digital or not.

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All of your health records are digitized

0:09:01.680,0:09:04.816
but your doctor can't[br]just share them with anyone.

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All of your financial information[br]is held in digital databases,

0:09:09.320,0:09:13.560
but your credit card company can't[br]just post your purchase history online.

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Better laws could help address[br]privacy violations after they happen,

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but one of the easiest things[br]we can all do is make personal changes

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to help protect each other's privacy.

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We're always told that privacy

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is our own, sole,[br]individual responsibility.

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We're told, constantly monitor[br]and update your privacy settings.

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We're told, never share anything[br]you wouldn't want the entire world to see.

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This doesn't make sense.

0:09:44.640,0:09:47.616
Digital media are social environments

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and we share things[br]with people we trust all day, every day.

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As Princeton researcher[br]Janet Vertesi argues,

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our data and our privacy,[br]they're not just personal,

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they're actually interpersonal.

0:10:02.400,0:10:05.656
And so one thing you can do[br]that's really easy

0:10:05.680,0:10:10.776
is just start asking for permission before[br]you share anyone else's information.

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If you want to post a photo[br]of someone online, ask for permission.

0:10:15.360,0:10:17.816
If you want to forward an email thread,

0:10:17.840,0:10:19.216
ask for permission.

0:10:19.240,0:10:22.016
And if you want to share[br]someone's nude selfie,

0:10:22.040,0:10:24.320
obviously, ask for permission.

0:10:25.560,0:10:30.016
These individual changes can really[br]help us protect each other's privacy,

0:10:30.040,0:10:33.840
but we need technology companies[br]on board as well.

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These companies have very little[br]incentive to help protect our privacy

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because their business models[br]depend on us sharing everything

0:10:42.200,0:10:44.440
with as many people as possible.

0:10:45.080,0:10:47.016
Right now, if I send you an image,

0:10:47.040,0:10:50.136
you can forward that[br]to anyone that you want.

0:10:50.160,0:10:54.416
But what if I got to decide[br]if that image was forwardable or not?

0:10:54.440,0:10:58.496
This would tell you, you don't[br]have my permission to send this image out.

0:10:58.520,0:11:02.656
We do this kind of thing all the time[br]to protect copyright.

0:11:02.680,0:11:07.456
If you buy an e-book, you can't just[br]send it out to as many people as you want.

0:11:07.480,0:11:10.040
So why not try this with mobile phones?

0:11:10.960,0:11:15.736
What you can do is we can demand[br]that tech companies add these protections

0:11:15.760,0:11:19.496
to our devices and our platforms[br]as the default.

0:11:19.520,0:11:22.936
After all, you can choose[br]the color of your car,

0:11:22.960,0:11:25.800
but the airbags are always standard.

0:11:28.080,0:11:31.896
If we don't think more[br]about digital privacy and consent,

0:11:31.920,0:11:34.640
there can be serious consequences.

0:11:35.360,0:11:37.616
There was a teenager from Ohio --

0:11:37.640,0:11:40.480
let's call her Jennifer,[br]for the sake of her privacy.

0:11:41.120,0:11:44.696
She shared nude photos of herself[br]with her high school boyfriend,

0:11:44.720,0:11:46.240
thinking she could trust him.

0:11:47.720,0:11:49.656
Unfortunately, he betrayed her

0:11:49.680,0:11:52.656
and sent her photos[br]around the entire school.

0:11:52.680,0:11:56.200
Jennifer was embarrassed and humiliated,

0:11:56.800,0:12:00.936
but instead of being compassionate,[br]her classmates harassed her.

0:12:00.960,0:12:02.816
They called her a slut and a whore

0:12:02.840,0:12:04.800
and they made her life miserable.

0:12:05.360,0:12:09.040
Jennifer started missing school[br]and her grades dropped.

0:12:09.520,0:12:13.320
Ultimately, Jennifer decided[br]to end her own life.

0:12:14.720,0:12:17.416
Jennifer did nothing wrong.

0:12:17.440,0:12:19.696
All she did was share a nude photo

0:12:19.720,0:12:22.536
with someone she thought[br]that she could trust.

0:12:22.560,0:12:25.176
And yet our laws tell her

0:12:25.200,0:12:29.360
that she committed a horrible crime[br]equivalent to child pornography.

0:12:29.920,0:12:31.416
Our gender norms tell her

0:12:31.440,0:12:34.656
that by producing[br]this nude image of herself,

0:12:34.680,0:12:37.880
she somehow did the most[br]horrible, shameful thing.

0:12:38.400,0:12:42.616
And when we assume that privacy[br]is impossible in digital media,

0:12:42.640,0:12:48.160
we completely write off and excuse[br]her boyfriend's bad, bad behavior.

0:12:49.200,0:12:54.936
People are still saying all the time[br]to victims of privacy violations,

0:12:54.960,0:12:56.216
"What were you thinking?

0:12:56.240,0:12:58.720
You should have never sent that image."

0:12:59.640,0:13:03.640
If you're trying to figure out[br]what to say instead, try this.

0:13:04.160,0:13:07.680
Imagine you've run into your friend[br]who broke their leg skiing.

0:13:08.240,0:13:12.816
They took a risk to do something fun,[br]and it didn't end well.

0:13:12.840,0:13:15.376
But you're probably[br]not going to be the jerk who says,

0:13:15.400,0:13:17.840
"Well, I guess you shouldn't[br]have gone skiing then."

0:13:20.080,0:13:22.216
If we think more about consent,

0:13:22.240,0:13:25.496
we can see that victims[br]of privacy violations

0:13:25.520,0:13:27.256
deserve our compassion,

0:13:27.280,0:13:31.880
not criminalization, shaming,[br]harassment or punishment.

0:13:32.440,0:13:36.936
We can support victims,[br]and we can prevent some privacy violations

0:13:36.960,0:13:41.280
by making these legal,[br]individual and technological changes.

0:13:41.840,0:13:47.656
Because the problem is not sexting,[br]the issue is digital privacy.

0:13:47.680,0:13:50.040
And one solution is consent.

0:13:50.680,0:13:55.256
So the next time a victim[br]of a privacy violation comes up to you,

0:13:55.280,0:13:58.016
instead of blaming them,[br]let's do this instead:

0:13:58.040,0:14:01.456
let's shift our ideas[br]about digital privacy,

0:14:01.480,0:14:04.120
and let's respond with compassion.

0:14:04.680,0:14:05.896
Thank you.

0:14:05.920,0:14:12.056
(Applause)