WEBVTT

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<i>(man) Hi there, girl,</i>
<i>can I Squirtle on your Jigglypuff?</i>

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<i>(Ian) Shut up!</i>

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<i>I can't wait to discover new Pokémon.</i>

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<i>I just better make sure I don't</i>
<i>walk in front of anyone while--</i>

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Damn it, I am not fighting anyone!

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Oh, no, no, I wanted
to give you a cool new move

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that you could teach to your Pokémon.

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It's called "fly."

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You just teach it to any flying Pokémon

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and you can ride it to any destination.

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So you're telling me
if I taught this to a tiny little

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bird Pokémon, I could
fly on its back or something?

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Anything's possible with Pokémon.

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(muttering) You freakin' jackass.

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<i>'Kay, now I can finally start my quest...</i>

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What the hell?

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Wild MANKEY appeared!

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Oh sweet, a wild Pokémon!

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<i>Mankey, extremely quick to anger.</i>

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You mean "Monkey"?

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<i>Mankey.</i>

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No, that's definitely a monkey.

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- <i>Mankey.</i>
- Whatever!

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- You're going down, Monkey!
- <i>Mankey.</i>

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Go, Pikachu!

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Pikachu.

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All right, Pikachu! Use quick attack!

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- Pika!
- (Mankey chattering)

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PIKACHU used
QUICK ATTACK.

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Critical hit!

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- All right, Monkey...
- <i>Mankey.</i>

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Shut the f--k up!

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All right, you're mine!

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Damn it! But I'll get you this time!

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20 Minutes Later

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I'm bound to catch you sometime.

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Wild MANKEY became
bored.

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Whatever, I didn't want you anyway.

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That monkey may have tested my resolve,

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but I'm not gonna let that
discourage me from--

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- Better not be another freakin' monkey!
- <i>Mankey.</i>

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Wild CHARIZARD
appeared!

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Whoa! We're not gonna
let this one get away.

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Quick, Pikachu, use AK-47 attack!

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Pika?

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(gun cocks)

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Pika...chu!!!

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(automatic gunfire, Charizard groaning)

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It's super effective!

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All right, I've got you
this time, Charizard!

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♪ (suspenseful music) ♪

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Booya!
CHARIZARD was caught!

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Yeah!

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Hey, you douchebag! I want a rematch!

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Oh God, all right,
Charizard, come out now!

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(roars)

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All right, Charizard,
get us the hell out of here!

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Use fly!

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CHARIZARD cannot learn
FLY.

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But he has wings;

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it's not like I'm trying to teach it
to a freakin' monkey.

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- <i>Mankey.</i>
- (wings fluttering)

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Whoo! Pidgey, f--k yeah! (laughs)

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<i>(Ian) To see bloopers
from this video and more,</i>

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<i>click the link in the description below!</i>

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<i>Quick! Use subscribe attack</i>
<i>by clicking the yellow button!</i>

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♪ (light cheerful tune) ♪

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<i>If this music is giving</i>
<i>you a nostalgia-boner</i>

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<i>that lasts longer than four hours,</i>

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<i>contact your physician immediately.</i>

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<i>It's bad. Happened to me once.</i>