1 00:00:02,099 --> 00:00:06,892 Well, this is a huge privilege 2 00:00:06,892 --> 00:00:09,290 and I really don't know why I'm up here 3 00:00:09,290 --> 00:00:11,587 other than God has plans and purposes, 4 00:00:11,587 --> 00:00:13,052 but I feel real inadequate, 5 00:00:13,052 --> 00:00:16,505 especially as I look around this room. 6 00:00:16,505 --> 00:00:18,916 We're all in the same boat. 7 00:00:18,916 --> 00:00:21,939 Mandy, what is it that you just told me? 8 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,545 (from the room) 9 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:27,216 Women in need of grace helping women in need of grace. 10 00:00:27,216 --> 00:00:29,620 Ruby: So that's basically what's happening here. 11 00:00:29,620 --> 00:00:32,115 I'm in desperate need of grace and we all are. 12 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:35,215 We're all in the same boat. 13 00:00:35,215 --> 00:00:38,937 I just wanted to share 14 00:00:38,937 --> 00:00:41,424 after considering lots of different things 15 00:00:41,424 --> 00:00:43,725 I would like to say and share 16 00:00:43,725 --> 00:00:45,534 in hopes of encouraging; 17 00:00:45,534 --> 00:00:49,040 I just thought I would share three things 18 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:53,941 that have been very critically helpful for me 19 00:00:53,941 --> 00:00:55,788 that I've learned over the years 20 00:00:55,788 --> 00:00:58,158 and I'm still learning and growing. 21 00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,971 Bethany and Michelle, these are things 22 00:00:59,971 --> 00:01:03,895 that you have heard repeatedly from me. 23 00:01:03,895 --> 00:01:06,411 They're very basic fundamental, 24 00:01:06,411 --> 00:01:09,060 can be perhaps like Peter, 25 00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:10,637 just reminders, 26 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:12,384 and hopefully it will encourage you 27 00:01:12,384 --> 00:01:14,228 to press on in what you already know 28 00:01:14,228 --> 00:01:16,328 and just to excel and abound 29 00:01:16,328 --> 00:01:17,620 in these good things. 30 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:24,880 So, they these things happen to all start with "H's." 31 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,250 It just worked out that way. I didn't plan it. 32 00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:29,498 But it's three things that I narrowed down. 33 00:01:29,498 --> 00:01:30,513 And I left one out, 34 00:01:30,513 --> 00:01:32,357 but if I have time, I'll include that. 35 00:01:32,357 --> 00:01:35,564 I only have twenty minutes, so I'm going to speak really quickly 36 00:01:35,564 --> 00:01:38,189 and make things very brief, hopefully concise. 37 00:01:38,189 --> 00:01:41,840 Hopefully, they'll be some help. 38 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,428 It's humility, helper, and heaven. 39 00:01:45,428 --> 00:01:48,738 And those three things 40 00:01:48,738 --> 00:01:52,311 kept in right perspective in our lives 41 00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:54,973 and kept in the forefront of our lives 42 00:01:54,973 --> 00:01:57,371 as pastor's wives - 43 00:01:57,371 --> 00:01:59,470 really it's just as a wife, 44 00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:01,984 it's really as a woman if you're married. 45 00:02:01,984 --> 00:02:04,224 We happen to be married to pastors. 46 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:05,988 So we're called pastor's wives, 47 00:02:05,988 --> 00:02:08,661 but we're all in need again 48 00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:09,742 of the same grace, 49 00:02:09,742 --> 00:02:11,248 whether you're a pastor's wife 50 00:02:11,248 --> 00:02:12,957 or what not, but these three things 51 00:02:12,957 --> 00:02:14,902 apply to any woman across the board. 52 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,983 I think we just have as pastor's wives, 53 00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:20,181 we have unique challenges 54 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,364 and unique blessings as well. 55 00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:26,580 So I considered all these things 56 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,197 in light of what we go through. 57 00:02:28,197 --> 00:02:29,714 And there's a number of things 58 00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:32,147 Dale and I were talking about the other night. 59 00:02:32,147 --> 00:02:33,867 I actually looked online for a list 60 00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:38,395 of what pastor's wives struggle with. 61 00:02:38,395 --> 00:02:40,337 I had to look for a list. 62 00:02:40,337 --> 00:02:41,560 I cheated. 63 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,242 (incomplete thought) 64 00:02:44,242 --> 00:02:46,861 You know, we go through really difficult things 65 00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:48,963 in different seasons in a church body. 66 00:02:48,963 --> 00:02:50,181 There's division. 67 00:02:50,181 --> 00:02:52,198 There can be slander. 68 00:02:52,198 --> 00:02:56,439 We have to endure sometimes things - 69 00:02:56,439 --> 00:02:59,577 maybe members that are discontent; 70 00:02:59,577 --> 00:03:01,480 they don't like the way the leadership 71 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,771 is making their decisions; 72 00:03:02,771 --> 00:03:04,126 coming to their conclusions; 73 00:03:04,126 --> 00:03:05,344 the way the sermon went; 74 00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:06,944 the color of the carpet. 75 00:03:06,944 --> 00:03:10,528 Whatever people can come up with. 76 00:03:10,528 --> 00:03:12,000 In light of all those things 77 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,821 and also I thought too, 78 00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:17,911 I guess, depending on everybody's relationship - 79 00:03:17,911 --> 00:03:20,699 your relationship with your husband - 80 00:03:20,699 --> 00:03:23,016 we know more than anybody else 81 00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:24,991 in the church pretty much. 82 00:03:24,991 --> 00:03:27,238 If you have a plurality of elders, 83 00:03:27,238 --> 00:03:30,410 well, the elders will equally know everything, 84 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:33,517 but I know my husband and I are extremely close, 85 00:03:33,521 --> 00:03:35,338 and he shares and we share 86 00:03:35,338 --> 00:03:38,028 and we work very, very closely together. 87 00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:41,640 And so that takes a lot of grace. 88 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,747 And that takes humility. 89 00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:46,483 And to be a good helper, 90 00:03:46,483 --> 00:03:50,299 we have to respond well 91 00:03:50,299 --> 00:03:52,628 in light of all that we know. 92 00:03:52,628 --> 00:03:54,715 And then ultimately, 93 00:03:54,715 --> 00:03:56,509 the last stage being heaven, 94 00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:58,465 we have to keep an eternal perspective 95 00:03:58,465 --> 00:04:01,177 at all times, or else, we can just 96 00:04:01,177 --> 00:04:03,426 be crushed under the burdens that we know 97 00:04:03,426 --> 00:04:06,915 and that we experience and we endure. 98 00:04:06,915 --> 00:04:08,841 Two verses that are very real to me, 99 00:04:08,841 --> 00:04:11,327 and I remember them because they both have 100 00:04:11,327 --> 00:04:13,467 the word "apart" in them. 101 00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:17,923 I'm sure they're very familiar to you as well. 102 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:22,583 John 15:5, "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." 103 00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:29,561 And Psalm 16:2, it starts, 104 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,787 "You are my Lord..." the second part, 105 00:04:31,787 --> 00:04:34,509 "I have no good apart from You." 106 00:04:34,509 --> 00:04:38,496 And so, that should be 107 00:04:38,496 --> 00:04:40,023 our disposition, 108 00:04:40,023 --> 00:04:44,012 that we have a real sense of our ability 109 00:04:44,012 --> 00:04:46,831 to do absolutely nothing 110 00:04:46,831 --> 00:04:48,384 apart from Christ. 111 00:04:48,384 --> 00:04:52,217 And that needs to go in really deep 112 00:04:52,217 --> 00:04:54,950 and the Lord is very faithful to cause us 113 00:04:54,950 --> 00:04:56,608 to experience certain things, 114 00:04:56,608 --> 00:04:59,136 big things, daily little trials, 115 00:04:59,136 --> 00:05:00,307 whatever it might be. 116 00:05:00,307 --> 00:05:02,932 In His love as our Father to His children, 117 00:05:02,932 --> 00:05:04,720 He's faithful to bring things 118 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,661 so that this goes deeper and deeper, 119 00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:09,182 that we're nothing and we can do nothing 120 00:05:09,182 --> 00:05:10,419 apart from Him. 121 00:05:10,419 --> 00:05:12,569 So it's very, very, very important 122 00:05:12,569 --> 00:05:15,943 that we live in light of this reality 123 00:05:15,943 --> 00:05:17,873 that Christ is everything. 124 00:05:17,873 --> 00:05:19,349 And in His power, 125 00:05:19,349 --> 00:05:21,650 through the power of the Holy Spirit within us, 126 00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:22,907 we can do all things. 127 00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:25,133 All things through Christ who strengthens us 128 00:05:25,133 --> 00:05:27,683 I think we heard this morning. 129 00:05:27,683 --> 00:05:33,241 So, another thing in regards to humility 130 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:36,586 in Romans 15:1, it says, 131 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,393 "We who are strong have an obligation 132 00:05:38,393 --> 00:05:40,240 to bear with the failings of the weak 133 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,736 and not to please ourselves, 134 00:05:42,736 --> 00:05:44,713 and let each of us please his neighbor 135 00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:46,524 for his good to build him up. 136 00:05:46,524 --> 00:05:48,393 For Christ didn't please Himself..." 137 00:05:48,393 --> 00:05:50,785 So, another thing is Christ 138 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:53,934 being our example to follow. 139 00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:56,975 He was humility personified. 140 00:05:56,975 --> 00:06:00,141 We know we walked perfectly. 141 00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:01,731 Perfectly humble 142 00:06:01,731 --> 00:06:04,063 every moment of His existence. 143 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:08,056 So, He is our example to imitate. 144 00:06:08,056 --> 00:06:10,152 He was patient. He was longsuffering. 145 00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,980 And as pastor's wives, this is the way 146 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:15,170 we need to deal with all that we know 147 00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:16,756 and all the different situations 148 00:06:16,756 --> 00:06:18,923 that come about in the church life. 149 00:06:18,923 --> 00:06:20,352 And it takes a lot of grace 150 00:06:20,352 --> 00:06:21,866 and it takes a lot of humility 151 00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:24,695 because there can be sometimes 152 00:06:24,695 --> 00:06:27,083 maybe a temptation to be frustrated 153 00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:30,401 when brother or sister so-and-so did that again? 154 00:06:30,401 --> 00:06:32,400 Or how could they have said that? 155 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,384 Or how could this have happened? 156 00:06:35,384 --> 00:06:37,493 But we're all in different places, 157 00:06:37,493 --> 00:06:40,899 and we need to really, really be sensitive 158 00:06:40,899 --> 00:06:43,599 to God's dealings with His children, 159 00:06:43,599 --> 00:06:46,457 and never think that we're beyond 160 00:06:46,457 --> 00:06:49,798 doing anything that that person is doing 161 00:06:49,798 --> 00:06:53,745 that you feel perturbed or frustrated with. 162 00:06:53,745 --> 00:06:55,888 There's no place in the heart 163 00:06:55,888 --> 00:06:57,877 of a pastor's wife or anybody - 164 00:06:57,877 --> 00:07:01,210 I'm going to say pastor's wives because this is who I'm addressing - 165 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,861 but there's no place in a Christian's heart 166 00:07:03,861 --> 00:07:09,345 for frustration, impatience, disgust, 167 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,928 when we understand who we are. 168 00:07:11,928 --> 00:07:15,343 It's only by God's grace if we're doing anything right 169 00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:16,746 in a moment. 170 00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:18,743 He gives us the strength and the power 171 00:07:18,743 --> 00:07:21,890 to obey and walk obediently in the Spirit. 172 00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:23,341 And that way in our lives, 173 00:07:23,341 --> 00:07:24,682 He gets all the glory. 174 00:07:24,682 --> 00:07:28,262 So we are to live a supernatural life 175 00:07:28,262 --> 00:07:29,989 in the Spirit - not a natural life. 176 00:07:29,989 --> 00:07:31,401 And the natural responses 177 00:07:31,401 --> 00:07:34,216 to the difficulties we encounter 178 00:07:34,216 --> 00:07:36,128 in the ministry would be 179 00:07:36,128 --> 00:07:38,435 frustration - all these sinful responses. 180 00:07:38,435 --> 00:07:40,594 But God is glorified in us 181 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:44,041 when we respond in a not natural way - 182 00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:45,210 a supernatural way. 183 00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:46,845 And so then He gets all the glory. 184 00:07:46,845 --> 00:07:49,391 And that, again, maybe I'll just go 185 00:07:49,391 --> 00:07:54,313 right into that is how we can help our husbands. 186 00:07:54,313 --> 00:07:57,481 The number one ministry that we have 187 00:07:57,481 --> 00:07:59,069 as pastor's wives 188 00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:02,402 is to be our husband's help. 189 00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:03,819 His helper. 190 00:08:03,819 --> 00:08:06,950 And that started way back in Genesis, we know. 191 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:09,527 With Adam, God was very gracious 192 00:08:09,527 --> 00:08:12,476 to bring Adam a helper, 193 00:08:12,476 --> 00:08:17,483 and that is our number one ministry. 194 00:08:17,483 --> 00:08:21,601 Don't let any other women's ministries - 195 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,320 things that are very, very good, 196 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,812 and there's nothing wrong with those things. 197 00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:27,893 It's fine to lead a Bible study, 198 00:08:27,893 --> 00:08:29,106 lead a book study, 199 00:08:29,106 --> 00:08:30,480 get together for coffee - 200 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,761 all those things can be in their place 201 00:08:33,761 --> 00:08:36,219 with your husband's approval 202 00:08:36,219 --> 00:08:38,353 after you've prayed about it. 203 00:08:38,353 --> 00:08:40,256 It can be very profitable. 204 00:08:40,256 --> 00:08:43,504 But always filter these types of decisions 205 00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:46,495 with: is this going to take me away 206 00:08:46,495 --> 00:08:47,940 or hinder my ministry 207 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,969 in helping my husband? 208 00:08:49,969 --> 00:08:53,505 Because if you don't have that in order 209 00:08:53,505 --> 00:08:55,925 and you're ministering outside your home 210 00:08:55,925 --> 00:08:57,905 or with other women doing good things, 211 00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,774 but your husband is left to fend for himself 212 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:04,045 or he's having to bear more work himself 213 00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:06,458 because you're neglecting the home, 214 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:07,797 then that's wrong. 215 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,419 Because the number one ministry 216 00:09:09,419 --> 00:09:10,994 is to help your husband. 217 00:09:10,994 --> 00:09:12,040 We're helpers. 218 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,626 And again, we have gifts 219 00:09:14,626 --> 00:09:16,950 and God gives opportunities 220 00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:20,217 and so there's nothing wrong in serving and doing. 221 00:09:20,217 --> 00:09:22,742 Women are very useful in the kingdom. 222 00:09:22,742 --> 00:09:25,385 They have gifts just like men do. 223 00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:27,827 But we have to, as wives - 224 00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:30,750 and particularly, I am going to say 225 00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:32,561 particularly pastor's wives, 226 00:09:32,561 --> 00:09:33,842 have to be careful 227 00:09:33,842 --> 00:09:37,749 because our husbands 228 00:09:37,749 --> 00:09:41,471 bear an enormous load, 229 00:09:41,471 --> 00:09:43,622 an enormous amount of weight. 230 00:09:43,622 --> 00:09:45,233 Mack said it last night 231 00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:48,321 and I had that in my notes. 232 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:51,751 Paul said in 2 Corinthians 11:28, 233 00:09:51,751 --> 00:09:54,807 the second part, "...the daily pressure on me 234 00:09:54,807 --> 00:09:57,117 of my anxiety for all the churches." 235 00:09:57,117 --> 00:09:59,494 And I see that firsthand in my husband. 236 00:09:59,494 --> 00:10:02,427 It's not just his family - the Conway family, 237 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,676 but then, it's the Grace Community Church, 238 00:10:04,676 --> 00:10:06,877 and then the church plants, 239 00:10:06,877 --> 00:10:09,217 and then out-of-the-country works. 240 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,126 These things weigh real heavy. 241 00:10:11,126 --> 00:10:13,525 And even when we have set 242 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:17,162 a church plant to have their independence 243 00:10:17,162 --> 00:10:18,861 and have a pastor, 244 00:10:18,861 --> 00:10:20,871 it's typically a very young man 245 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,376 that's over that work, 246 00:10:22,376 --> 00:10:24,557 and so he's still very much in need 247 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:25,830 and very much in contact. 248 00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:27,475 And that's not always the case, 249 00:10:27,475 --> 00:10:29,028 even older, new in the ministry, 250 00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,497 whatever it might be, 251 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:33,391 he gets phone calls almost daily 252 00:10:33,391 --> 00:10:35,782 of things pertaining to what's going on 253 00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:37,464 in all the different church plants. 254 00:10:37,464 --> 00:10:40,326 So I see the weight that my husband bears 255 00:10:40,326 --> 00:10:42,767 on a daily basis. 256 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,408 So I try to keep my life 257 00:10:45,408 --> 00:10:47,678 as simple as possible for his sake 258 00:10:47,678 --> 00:10:50,038 because he is my number one priority. 259 00:10:50,038 --> 00:10:52,454 And I want to maintain that. 260 00:10:52,454 --> 00:10:54,133 There's so much need, 261 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:56,707 and I do try to reach out to the women 262 00:10:56,707 --> 00:10:59,227 as much as I can 263 00:10:59,227 --> 00:11:01,465 without violating this priority, 264 00:11:01,465 --> 00:11:08,254 or just keeping my husband the priority. 265 00:11:08,254 --> 00:11:10,733 So he's the number one ministry. 266 00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:14,283 And the number one way of helping him 267 00:11:14,283 --> 00:11:17,428 is abiding in Christ, 268 00:11:17,428 --> 00:11:21,439 because it doesn't matter what we're doing 269 00:11:21,439 --> 00:11:23,326 or not doing, 270 00:11:23,326 --> 00:11:26,750 if we're not cultivating a close, 271 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:31,092 intimate walk with the Lord, 272 00:11:31,092 --> 00:11:36,213 self-controlled, disciplined time with the Lord 273 00:11:36,213 --> 00:11:38,090 on a daily basis; 274 00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:40,724 time set aside for communing with the Lord; 275 00:11:40,724 --> 00:11:42,776 time set aside for prayer, 276 00:11:42,776 --> 00:11:44,294 for meditation. 277 00:11:44,294 --> 00:11:47,417 You're cultivating a real relationship. 278 00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,581 And then you're just walking with the Lord 279 00:11:49,581 --> 00:11:51,830 through the rest of the day, 280 00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,242 but it's something very real. 281 00:11:53,242 --> 00:11:54,939 And you're praying all day 282 00:11:54,939 --> 00:11:56,650 as you're thinking of the needs 283 00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,179 of your husband, your children, 284 00:11:58,179 --> 00:11:59,024 the church body. 285 00:11:59,024 --> 00:12:00,492 You're just walking, praying, 286 00:12:00,492 --> 00:12:01,349 it's very real. 287 00:12:01,349 --> 00:12:02,871 As Tim and I were talking 288 00:12:02,871 --> 00:12:04,660 with a younger couple yesterday, 289 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:07,651 they're wondering how do you make this real 290 00:12:07,651 --> 00:12:09,152 like through the day? 291 00:12:09,152 --> 00:12:11,107 Well, it takes effort, 292 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:12,834 like any relationship we know. 293 00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:15,938 I know this is not new to this group here, 294 00:12:15,938 --> 00:12:18,475 but I just want to encourage that 295 00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:20,544 in the busyness of life and ministry 296 00:12:20,544 --> 00:12:22,105 and little ones, 297 00:12:22,105 --> 00:12:26,225 that you maintain and cultivate and grow 298 00:12:26,225 --> 00:12:29,017 in your relationship with the Lord. 299 00:12:29,017 --> 00:12:32,014 And that you enter in to the power 300 00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:34,048 there is to be had 301 00:12:34,048 --> 00:12:35,979 by walking close to the Lord, 302 00:12:35,979 --> 00:12:38,762 and removing unnecessary things 303 00:12:38,762 --> 00:12:42,416 in your life that can hinder you 304 00:12:42,416 --> 00:12:44,818 from this close intimacy with the Lord. 305 00:12:44,818 --> 00:12:48,057 And that really is helping your husband tremendously 306 00:12:48,057 --> 00:12:52,462 because in the course of your life 307 00:12:52,462 --> 00:12:55,164 as a pastor's wife, like I said earlier, 308 00:12:55,164 --> 00:12:57,154 there's going to be things that will come 309 00:12:57,154 --> 00:12:58,548 on a daily basis, 310 00:12:58,548 --> 00:13:02,108 and you will respond very differently 311 00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:04,689 to the very challenging things 312 00:13:04,689 --> 00:13:07,054 depending on your walk with the Lord. 313 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:10,451 And if your husband brings home news 314 00:13:10,451 --> 00:13:13,356 that's difficult to receive - 315 00:13:13,356 --> 00:13:16,414 something that took place in the church - 316 00:13:16,414 --> 00:13:18,636 if you're not walking with the Lord 317 00:13:18,636 --> 00:13:20,834 and it's very fresh in your mind 318 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,309 that God is sovereign, 319 00:13:22,309 --> 00:13:24,672 this is the body of Christ, 320 00:13:24,672 --> 00:13:26,276 this is not our thing, 321 00:13:26,276 --> 00:13:27,338 this is not our doing. 322 00:13:27,338 --> 00:13:28,892 We did not build this church. 323 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:31,396 We're just observing what God is doing 324 00:13:31,396 --> 00:13:33,037 as He's building and removing 325 00:13:33,037 --> 00:13:36,818 and purging. 326 00:13:36,818 --> 00:13:39,564 As women, we can be very emotional 327 00:13:39,564 --> 00:13:41,803 and we can respond if our thinking 328 00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:44,990 is not right and we haven't been in the Word. 329 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,276 And there is something very supernatural 330 00:13:48,276 --> 00:13:51,430 we all know about times in the Word 331 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:54,594 when you're communing with the Lord in prayer 332 00:13:54,594 --> 00:13:57,327 and you leave that time, like I said, 333 00:13:57,327 --> 00:14:00,702 and you have the fragrance of Christ following you. 334 00:14:00,702 --> 00:14:02,711 You have this sense that He's with you. 335 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:05,183 And so when you're faced with things 336 00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:07,298 maybe later in the day, 337 00:14:07,298 --> 00:14:08,768 instead of freaking out, 338 00:14:08,768 --> 00:14:10,586 getting all emotional, 339 00:14:10,586 --> 00:14:13,605 responding in a panic, 340 00:14:13,605 --> 00:14:17,376 you can be a help by staying calm 341 00:14:17,376 --> 00:14:21,161 and thinking biblically 342 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,738 and being an encouragement, 343 00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:28,574 and just that your confidence is in God 344 00:14:28,574 --> 00:14:30,312 and His Word and His promises. 345 00:14:30,312 --> 00:14:33,408 You have to have these things very fresh in your mind 346 00:14:33,408 --> 00:14:35,054 in order to be the help 347 00:14:35,054 --> 00:14:38,473 that your husband needs. 348 00:14:38,473 --> 00:14:39,837 And then in Proverbs, 349 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,942 I just thought of Proverbs 31:23. 350 00:14:41,942 --> 00:14:43,696 "Her husband is known in the gates 351 00:14:43,696 --> 00:14:46,014 when he sits among the elders of the land." 352 00:14:46,014 --> 00:14:47,681 And I think that's really special 353 00:14:47,681 --> 00:14:50,391 because the wife has a lot to do 354 00:14:50,391 --> 00:14:51,952 with the husband's reputation 355 00:14:51,952 --> 00:14:53,232 and who he is. 356 00:14:53,232 --> 00:14:55,234 He had a reputation in the gates 357 00:14:55,234 --> 00:14:58,343 among the elders because of her. 358 00:14:58,343 --> 00:15:01,902 And so we want to be that type of help 359 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:06,375 to our husband. 360 00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:09,509 We have a lot of influence 361 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,794 in our husband's life 362 00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:13,245 and we have the power if I can use that word 363 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,485 to really build him up 364 00:15:16,485 --> 00:15:18,789 to be a better leader 365 00:15:18,789 --> 00:15:21,720 that he could not be without us. 366 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,632 And so if he has somebody 367 00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:26,686 that's submitting, encouraging, following, 368 00:15:26,686 --> 00:15:28,936 walking close with the Lord, 369 00:15:28,936 --> 00:15:31,173 helping in that way, 370 00:15:31,173 --> 00:15:33,867 he can be a better leader than he could be 371 00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,276 like I said without us. 372 00:15:35,276 --> 00:15:37,656 And conversely, we can also 373 00:15:37,656 --> 00:15:40,062 crush our husbands. 374 00:15:40,062 --> 00:15:42,166 We have to be very, very careful 375 00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:43,628 how we communicate, 376 00:15:43,628 --> 00:15:46,782 what we communicate with our husbands. 377 00:15:46,782 --> 00:15:49,642 If, again, like what we say 378 00:15:49,642 --> 00:15:51,917 should be filtered though: 379 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,390 what does God's Word say? 380 00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:54,689 What does God's Word say? 381 00:15:54,689 --> 00:15:56,179 If you're going to be a help, 382 00:15:56,179 --> 00:15:58,441 you're going to need to be a woman of wisdom 383 00:15:58,441 --> 00:16:00,005 and wisdom comes from God. 384 00:16:00,005 --> 00:16:01,960 So, we want to have our thinking 385 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,653 aligned with God's Word and His will. 386 00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:07,390 And that will truly, truly help him. 387 00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:10,162 And the final H was heaven. 388 00:16:10,162 --> 00:16:13,260 Again, as we go through the different - 389 00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:15,830 I'm speaking a lot on the challenges 390 00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:18,293 and the difficulties, but we all know here 391 00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:20,307 that there are unspeakable joys 392 00:16:20,307 --> 00:16:22,487 being part of the ministry as helpers 393 00:16:22,487 --> 00:16:25,222 to our husbands. 394 00:16:25,222 --> 00:16:28,040 I feel spoiled - the blessings 395 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,315 that we get to be involved in, 396 00:16:30,315 --> 00:16:32,217 while you do know a lot 397 00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:34,366 of every single person in the church 398 00:16:34,366 --> 00:16:35,364 and their struggles, 399 00:16:35,364 --> 00:16:37,491 you also know of all the joys 400 00:16:37,491 --> 00:16:39,138 and the victories 401 00:16:39,138 --> 00:16:41,521 and the counseling sessions 402 00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:44,946 that turn out with a happy ending 403 00:16:44,946 --> 00:16:47,180 that nobody else knows about. 404 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,434 And so we bear the weight, 405 00:16:48,434 --> 00:16:54,078 but we also enjoy the time of rejoicing as well. 406 00:16:54,078 --> 00:16:57,390 These are again very familiar Scriptures. 407 00:16:57,390 --> 00:17:00,116 Colossians 3:2 that we're to set our minds 408 00:17:00,116 --> 00:17:02,682 on things above, not on earthly things. 409 00:17:02,682 --> 00:17:07,709 Philippians 3:20 - our citizenship is in heaven. 410 00:17:07,709 --> 00:17:11,580 And we're eagerly awaiting our Savior from there - 411 00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:13,066 the Lord Jesus Christ. 412 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:17,861 And that is where we have to, again, 413 00:17:17,861 --> 00:17:20,208 very intentionally set our mind 414 00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:21,317 on things above. 415 00:17:21,317 --> 00:17:24,276 We are living in the realm of sight here 416 00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:26,091 and the "seen," but we know that 417 00:17:26,091 --> 00:17:27,681 that which is seen is transient. 418 00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:28,701 It's passing. 419 00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:31,229 And so we have to keep our minds 420 00:17:31,229 --> 00:17:33,501 on things above. 421 00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:36,092 So no matter how difficult things can be; 422 00:17:36,092 --> 00:17:38,145 how challenging, 423 00:17:38,145 --> 00:17:40,167 whatever we endure, 424 00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:42,146 there is an end. 425 00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:44,919 Tim spoke on Wednesday here 426 00:17:44,919 --> 00:17:47,677 the verse that says from Romans, 427 00:17:47,677 --> 00:17:49,015 "...rejoicing in hope." 428 00:17:49,015 --> 00:17:51,640 Like we of all people, 429 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,243 out of the mass of humanity, 430 00:17:53,243 --> 00:17:54,946 this little remnant 431 00:17:54,946 --> 00:17:56,571 that Christ shed His blood for, 432 00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:59,356 we truly have reason and cause 433 00:17:59,356 --> 00:18:02,465 to rejoice - to rejoice in the Lord. 434 00:18:02,465 --> 00:18:04,596 And to have a hope, like Tim was saying. 435 00:18:04,596 --> 00:18:05,740 Everybody has a hope. 436 00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:07,800 They're hoping in this, that, and the other 437 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,760 that is guaranteed to lead them 438 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,808 to disappointment 439 00:18:10,808 --> 00:18:12,538 until they find Christ. 440 00:18:12,538 --> 00:18:14,653 And then that's when we're truly satisfied 441 00:18:14,653 --> 00:18:16,708 like we heard about today. 442 00:18:16,708 --> 00:18:18,972 Satisfaction can only be found in Christ 443 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:22,133 and that's what we should be experiencing 444 00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:23,960 in a very real way every day. 445 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,135 Our mind, our heart, and affections 446 00:18:26,135 --> 00:18:29,259 set on things above where Christ is, 447 00:18:29,259 --> 00:18:31,406 where our inheritance is. 448 00:18:31,406 --> 00:18:37,324 And when we do have that mindset, 449 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:41,309 again, life is much easier to deal with. 450 00:18:41,309 --> 00:18:44,587 When you think, we're just passing through, 451 00:18:44,587 --> 00:18:47,067 there is a reward at the end. 452 00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:50,657 Don't feel like the way you're living right now 453 00:18:50,657 --> 00:18:53,818 making the sacrifices that you are making 454 00:18:53,818 --> 00:18:57,082 and suffering to whatever degree you're suffering - 455 00:18:57,082 --> 00:18:59,400 we all go through different things 456 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,830 to different degrees, different seasons. 457 00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,895 But it's not for naught. 458 00:19:03,895 --> 00:19:06,244 There is a reward at the end. 459 00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:08,796 In fact, I was just reading this morning 460 00:19:08,796 --> 00:19:22,047 (incomplete thought). 461 00:19:22,047 --> 00:19:24,264 I'm going to just pass because it will 462 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,433 take time to remember where I read it. 463 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,335 But anyway, it's basically, 464 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,837 we're heading towards a judgment day. 465 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,824 And we will receive what is due. 466 00:19:34,824 --> 00:19:36,924 Because of Christ, we can really 467 00:19:36,924 --> 00:19:38,088 look forward to that day 468 00:19:38,088 --> 00:19:39,614 and live in light of that day. 469 00:19:39,614 --> 00:19:41,167 And we know that God has told us 470 00:19:41,167 --> 00:19:43,287 this life is just a vapor. 471 00:19:43,287 --> 00:19:45,400 It's here and then gone. 472 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,990 So, we need to live in light of that. 473 00:19:47,990 --> 00:19:50,068 Not to waste time. 474 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:52,096 We live in a day and age 475 00:19:52,096 --> 00:19:53,607 with all this technology 476 00:19:53,607 --> 00:19:55,654 and electronics and social media 477 00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:58,185 where it is such an enormous temptation 478 00:19:58,185 --> 00:19:59,755 to waste time. 479 00:19:59,755 --> 00:20:03,475 And we all really need to be really careful 480 00:20:03,475 --> 00:20:05,057 to redeem our time 481 00:20:05,057 --> 00:20:06,647 and be good stewards of our time. 482 00:20:06,647 --> 00:20:08,585 The time we have has been given to us. 483 00:20:08,585 --> 00:20:10,524 Like, we all have an appointment. 484 00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:12,490 We came in and we're going out. 485 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:15,282 So we want to be faithful 486 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:17,835 with the time that we have. 487 00:20:17,835 --> 00:20:21,379 I don't know what time I started. 488 00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:29,327 Is it time? Has it been 20? 489 00:20:29,327 --> 00:20:30,902 Real quick, the last H, 490 00:20:30,902 --> 00:20:33,448 in light of time. 491 00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:35,395 Real quick, other Scriptures, 492 00:20:35,395 --> 00:20:38,610 2 Peter 3:11 in light of what we know 493 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,277 that everything's burning up. 494 00:20:40,277 --> 00:20:42,425 We're heading towards everything burning up. 495 00:20:42,425 --> 00:20:44,660 What sort of people ought we to be 496 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,833 to live lives of holiness and godliness? 497 00:20:47,833 --> 00:20:49,696 And 2 Corinthians 4:17 - 498 00:20:49,696 --> 00:20:51,008 we're familiar with this. 499 00:20:51,008 --> 00:20:52,480 Light, momentary affliction - 500 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:53,904 whatever we're going through, 501 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:55,610 it's preparing for us an eternal 502 00:20:55,610 --> 00:20:58,325 weight of glory beyond all comparison. 503 00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,588 So there's those contrasts 504 00:20:59,588 --> 00:21:01,798 of light vs. weight 505 00:21:01,798 --> 00:21:03,634 and momentary vs. eternal. 506 00:21:03,634 --> 00:21:05,355 So we have to live in light of that 507 00:21:05,355 --> 00:21:07,846 and not get caught up in the moment of difficulties. 508 00:21:07,846 --> 00:21:09,359 Like, this is so hard. 509 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,577 No, actually, it feels that way, 510 00:21:11,577 --> 00:21:13,572 but compared to what we're heading to 511 00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,840 it's light and momentary. 512 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,186 And we have to have this perspective 513 00:21:18,186 --> 00:21:19,967 very clear in our minds. 514 00:21:19,967 --> 00:21:21,961 And 1 Peter 1:4 515 00:21:21,961 --> 00:21:24,347 We're heading towards an inheritance 516 00:21:24,347 --> 00:21:26,437 that is imperishable, undefiled, 517 00:21:26,437 --> 00:21:29,430 and unfading, kept in heaven for us. 518 00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:31,722 And then lastly, Hebrews 6:10, 519 00:21:31,722 --> 00:21:33,016 "For God is not unrighteous 520 00:21:33,016 --> 00:21:35,290 to forget your work and labor of love 521 00:21:35,290 --> 00:21:37,670 which you have shown 522 00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:39,835 toward His name and that you have 523 00:21:39,835 --> 00:21:42,249 ministered to the saints and do minister." 524 00:21:42,249 --> 00:21:44,091 So, that's very encouraging 525 00:21:44,091 --> 00:21:45,941 that God remembers everything. 526 00:21:45,941 --> 00:21:47,126 Our deeds follow us. 527 00:21:47,126 --> 00:21:49,941 Everything that we do, 528 00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:51,813 there is coming a day 529 00:21:51,813 --> 00:21:54,054 when there will be a reward 530 00:21:54,054 --> 00:21:56,137 and it's okay to be reward motivated 531 00:21:56,137 --> 00:21:57,611 for what you're doing right now 532 00:21:57,611 --> 00:22:00,358 because in the end, the reward is Christ. 533 00:22:00,358 --> 00:22:03,257 And so, do everything you can now 534 00:22:03,257 --> 00:22:04,764 to get the most then. 535 00:22:04,764 --> 00:22:06,416 There is a reality to that. 536 00:22:06,416 --> 00:22:09,103 Real quickly, the last H was holiness. 537 00:22:09,103 --> 00:22:13,961 And I think we as pastor's wives - 538 00:22:13,961 --> 00:22:16,652 sometimes, a pastor's wife can 539 00:22:16,652 --> 00:22:18,912 maybe not really appreciate the position 540 00:22:18,912 --> 00:22:21,604 of being an example 541 00:22:21,604 --> 00:22:24,376 as a wife, as a mother, as a family, 542 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,036 as a husband and wife. 543 00:22:26,036 --> 00:22:29,228 And sometimes it can even be something 544 00:22:29,228 --> 00:22:30,450 that a woman can resent. 545 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,525 Like, why do they look at us all the time? 546 00:22:32,525 --> 00:22:34,563 Why are they always observing us? 547 00:22:34,563 --> 00:22:37,036 Eagle eyes always on us. 548 00:22:37,036 --> 00:22:38,530 But I think that's good. 549 00:22:38,530 --> 00:22:41,115 I think that our husbands are leaders 550 00:22:41,115 --> 00:22:42,835 and they should be examples, 551 00:22:42,835 --> 00:22:44,439 and there should be, obviously, 552 00:22:44,439 --> 00:22:46,571 a level of maturity where they are examples, 553 00:22:46,571 --> 00:22:48,027 not perfect, but exemplary, 554 00:22:48,027 --> 00:22:49,415 worthy of imitating. 555 00:22:49,415 --> 00:22:50,793 And I think in like manner 556 00:22:50,793 --> 00:22:53,822 that pastor's wife should also be striving. 557 00:22:53,822 --> 00:22:56,087 Every woman, like I said in the very beginning, 558 00:22:56,087 --> 00:22:57,533 should be striving for this. 559 00:22:57,533 --> 00:22:59,934 But because we're in a leadership position, 560 00:22:59,934 --> 00:23:02,386 I think that it's a loving thing to do, 561 00:23:02,386 --> 00:23:03,611 to live in such a way - 562 00:23:03,611 --> 00:23:05,751 and we have a very young church, 563 00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:08,725 20's, 30's, young single, young married, 564 00:23:08,725 --> 00:23:10,730 young mothers, young everything. 565 00:23:10,730 --> 00:23:14,440 And so I count it a privilege 566 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:18,765 to strive for that life that I can say 567 00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:21,127 follow me or imitate me 568 00:23:21,127 --> 00:23:22,848 because I know it's all of grace. 569 00:23:22,848 --> 00:23:26,837 And I know that I've made countless mistakes to this point. 570 00:23:26,837 --> 00:23:28,713 And God has been very faithful. 571 00:23:28,713 --> 00:23:31,653 So, I think that it's like I said 572 00:23:31,653 --> 00:23:34,057 a very loving thing for us to live in such a way. 573 00:23:34,057 --> 00:23:37,587 And even in the mistakes that we make, 574 00:23:37,587 --> 00:23:40,456 we can be examples in how we respond 575 00:23:40,456 --> 00:23:42,332 in the mistakes that we make. 576 00:23:42,332 --> 00:23:45,045 So it's not like we have this pressure 577 00:23:45,045 --> 00:23:46,675 to live these perfect lives, 578 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:48,394 because everybody's watching us. 579 00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:49,703 It's not like that at all. 580 00:23:49,703 --> 00:23:51,284 We love the Lord Jesus. 581 00:23:51,284 --> 00:23:53,920 And so we want to please and obey Him 582 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,333 and in so doing, our lives should be examples 583 00:23:56,333 --> 00:23:57,597 and an encouragement 584 00:23:57,597 --> 00:24:00,530 that wow, you can go through a trial 585 00:24:00,530 --> 00:24:01,777 and actually have peace. 586 00:24:01,777 --> 00:24:03,507 You can go through a trial 587 00:24:03,507 --> 00:24:05,362 and remain unwavering in your faith 588 00:24:05,362 --> 00:24:07,642 and have confidence in the Lord. 589 00:24:07,642 --> 00:24:09,687 And you can lose a loved one 590 00:24:09,687 --> 00:24:12,668 and grieve well and glorify God 591 00:24:12,668 --> 00:24:14,240 in doing all these things. 592 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,142 So, those are the four things 593 00:24:17,142 --> 00:24:19,714 that have been extremely helpful for me 594 00:24:19,714 --> 00:24:20,777 that God's taught me 595 00:24:20,777 --> 00:24:23,134 and continues to teach me.