1 00:00:01,414 --> 00:00:05,025 Have you ever felt lonely? 2 00:00:05,025 --> 00:00:07,911 The urge of wanting to connect with people, 3 00:00:07,911 --> 00:00:11,813 but you seem to have no one you really would want to contact? 4 00:00:12,132 --> 00:00:15,414 Or, it's a Friday night and you want to be with others 5 00:00:15,414 --> 00:00:20,290 but you have no energy to go out, so instead you sit at home all evening, 6 00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:21,820 watch Netflix, 7 00:00:21,820 --> 00:00:24,928 and feel more alone than ever. 8 00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:26,885 You feel like a monster 9 00:00:26,885 --> 00:00:29,658 between humans that know how to function. 10 00:00:30,115 --> 00:00:34,463 This is what loneliness felt like to me. 11 00:00:36,008 --> 00:00:37,514 So I'm an artist, 12 00:00:37,514 --> 00:00:42,092 and I process my emotional world by sharing my feelings through my art. 13 00:00:42,746 --> 00:00:46,011 If you share your feelings with someone, 14 00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:49,412 and they understand and share those feelings too, 15 00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,866 you create an emotional and deep connection. 16 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:57,859 This is why you can be surrounded by hundreds of people, 17 00:00:57,859 --> 00:01:00,741 jump from one ?? to the next, 18 00:01:00,741 --> 00:01:03,199 but still feel lonely. 19 00:01:03,199 --> 00:01:06,845 It's because these deeper connections 20 00:01:06,845 --> 00:01:08,818 haven't been made. 21 00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:11,930 So, I was an always happy child. 22 00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:15,275 I think we nearly have no single photo of me 23 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:18,275 where I don't smile broadly or laugh or joke around, 24 00:01:18,275 --> 00:01:21,245 and this went on until, 25 00:01:21,245 --> 00:01:22,824 well, it's still the case, 26 00:01:22,824 --> 00:01:29,933 but I had many friend groups up until, as a young adult, I moved to another city 27 00:01:29,933 --> 00:01:34,048 for my first job, as a comic artist. 28 00:01:34,048 --> 00:01:38,622 And, like so many young, thriving people all over the planet, 29 00:01:38,822 --> 00:01:43,510 I concentrated all my energy into my work life. 30 00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:49,924 But, if you spend, like, 90 percent of your daily capacity 31 00:01:49,924 --> 00:01:51,942 trying to succeed at work, 32 00:01:51,942 --> 00:01:53,561 of course there is nothing left 33 00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:57,189 to take care of all the other important aspects in your life, 34 00:01:57,189 --> 00:01:58,907 like your human relationships. 35 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:04,382 Nourishing friendships as an adult is work. 36 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:09,334 You need to be consistent with connecting. 37 00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:11,907 You need to be open, you need to be honest, 38 00:02:11,907 --> 00:02:14,136 and this is all I struggled with, 39 00:02:14,136 --> 00:02:17,079 because I tend to camouflage my real feelings 40 00:02:17,079 --> 00:02:19,326 by trying to appear always happy 41 00:02:19,326 --> 00:02:23,985 and trying to make everyone else happy too by trying to fix their problems. 42 00:02:24,714 --> 00:02:28,425 And I know a lot of us are guilty of this, 43 00:02:28,425 --> 00:02:32,864 because it's an easy way to not think about your own issues, isn't it. 44 00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:36,443 (Laughter) 45 00:02:37,309 --> 00:02:39,123 OK. 46 00:02:39,569 --> 00:02:42,377 The turning point came 47 00:02:42,377 --> 00:02:45,069 when I fell into an emotionally abusive relationship, 48 00:02:45,069 --> 00:02:48,250 just a few years ago. 49 00:02:49,699 --> 00:02:51,568 He isolated me 50 00:02:51,568 --> 00:02:55,570 and left me feeling more alone than ever. 51 00:02:56,764 --> 00:02:58,791 It was the lowest point in my life, 52 00:02:58,791 --> 00:03:01,696 but it was also my wakeup call, 53 00:03:01,696 --> 00:03:03,543 because it was the first time 54 00:03:03,543 --> 00:03:06,884 that I really felt a loneliness. 55 00:03:07,878 --> 00:03:11,977 Many others put their feelings into their art. 56 00:03:11,977 --> 00:03:13,686 There are endless books, 57 00:03:13,686 --> 00:03:16,450 movies, paintings, music, 58 00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:19,400 all filled with the real emotion of an artist. 59 00:03:19,605 --> 00:03:22,168 So, as an artist myself, I did the same. 60 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:24,485 I shared my feelings. 61 00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:29,575 I wanted to help people cope with loneliness. 62 00:03:29,575 --> 00:03:34,590 I wanted, yeah, to make them understand it, 63 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,707 to really experience it through my art 64 00:03:36,707 --> 00:03:39,246 in the form of an interactive story, 65 00:03:39,246 --> 00:03:42,353 a video game. 66 00:03:42,353 --> 00:03:45,359 So, in our game, 67 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:48,673 we called it Sea of Solitude. 68 00:03:48,673 --> 00:03:51,070 You are a person name Kay 69 00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:54,443 who is suffering from such strong loneliness 70 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,902 that her inner feelings, 71 00:03:56,902 --> 00:03:58,260 the anger, 72 00:03:58,260 --> 00:04:01,784 the feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness, 73 00:04:02,022 --> 00:04:04,007 turn to the outside 74 00:04:04,007 --> 00:04:06,092 and she becomes a monster. 75 00:04:06,092 --> 00:04:08,285 The game, well, Kay, 76 00:04:08,285 --> 00:04:11,151 is actually a representation of me, 77 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,257 and the path I went through 78 00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:15,639 to overcome my struggles. 79 00:04:15,639 --> 00:04:18,706 The game plays actually in Kay's mind, 80 00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:23,495 so you walk through a world that is flooded by her tears, 81 00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:27,728 and the weather is changing by her mood, 82 00:04:27,728 --> 00:04:30,157 how the mood is changing of her. 83 00:04:30,157 --> 00:04:35,873 And, well, the only thing Kay wears, 84 00:04:35,873 --> 00:04:37,703 the only thing, 85 00:04:37,703 --> 00:04:39,843 is her backpack. 86 00:04:39,843 --> 00:04:45,030 It's the baggage we all carry throughout our life. 87 00:04:45,265 --> 00:04:48,465 And Kay doesn't know how to cope with her emotions in the right way, 88 00:04:48,465 --> 00:04:51,237 so her backpack becomes bigger and bigger 89 00:04:51,237 --> 00:04:52,659 until it bursts 90 00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:57,006 and she finally is forced to overcome her own struggles. 91 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:03,877 So in our story, we present many different manifestations of loneliness. 92 00:05:04,681 --> 00:05:08,526 Loneliness through social exclusion is very common. 93 00:05:09,257 --> 00:05:12,179 In our game, the brother of Kay 94 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,694 got bullied in his school 95 00:05:13,694 --> 00:05:15,831 and he just wants to hide and fly away, 96 00:05:15,831 --> 00:05:20,129 and we portray him as a huge bird monster surrounded by thick fog. 97 00:05:21,635 --> 00:05:24,103 The player has to actually walk through his school 98 00:05:24,103 --> 00:05:25,364 and experience, 99 00:05:25,364 --> 00:05:30,282 really feel the harm that the brother had been through, 100 00:05:30,704 --> 00:05:34,335 because for a long time nobody really listens to him. 101 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:39,790 But the very moment, like, friends and family start to listen, 102 00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:44,658 the first step towards overcoming this form of loneliness had been made. 103 00:05:44,954 --> 00:05:48,621 We also show loneliness in relationships, 104 00:05:48,621 --> 00:05:53,490 like when parents just stay together for the sake of their kids 105 00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:56,951 but end up hurting the entire family. 106 00:05:57,397 --> 00:06:03,732 We put the player literally in between the two parents while they are fighting, 107 00:06:03,732 --> 00:06:05,720 and you get hurt in the middle. 108 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,453 They don't even see that their daughter, 109 00:06:08,453 --> 00:06:12,424 Kay, is right there until she breaks down. 110 00:06:13,255 --> 00:06:18,275 We also show loneliness through mental health issues, 111 00:06:18,275 --> 00:06:22,253 with the boyfriend of Kay, who suffers from depression 112 00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:24,804 and shows that sometimes 113 00:06:24,804 --> 00:06:30,014 it is most important to focus on your own wellbeing first. 114 00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:35,454 The boyfriend also tends to camouflage his feelings, 115 00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:39,330 so he appears like a lone, shiny white wolf, 116 00:06:39,330 --> 00:06:43,952 but the moment he starts to interact with his girlfriend, Kay, 117 00:06:44,149 --> 00:06:45,698 the mask falls off 118 00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:49,021 and we see the black dog beneath it, 119 00:06:49,216 --> 00:06:50,683 depression. 120 00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:54,877 Sometimes we put on a smile 121 00:06:54,877 --> 00:06:58,519 instead of dealing with the issues at hand, 122 00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:01,220 and that can ultimately make it worse, 123 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,004 affect the people around us 124 00:07:03,004 --> 00:07:06,201 and damage our relationships. 125 00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:09,050 So Kay herself 126 00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:13,650 we portray as ripped apart into her basic emotions. 127 00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:16,138 Some help you, 128 00:07:16,138 --> 00:07:19,383 some are trying to stop you. 129 00:07:19,383 --> 00:07:22,428 Self-doubt is a huge creature, 130 00:07:22,428 --> 00:07:25,520 always telling Kay how worthless she is 131 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,090 and that she should just give up. 132 00:07:28,437 --> 00:07:30,745 Like in real life, 133 00:07:30,745 --> 00:07:33,158 self-doubt is blocking the path 134 00:07:33,158 --> 00:07:35,888 and it seems impossible to overcome it. 135 00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:40,951 Destroying the omnipresence of self-doubt is a slow process, 136 00:07:40,951 --> 00:07:42,591 but in the game, 137 00:07:42,591 --> 00:07:44,703 you can slowly, like, shrink her 138 00:07:44,703 --> 00:07:47,005 so she turns from self-doubt 139 00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:49,056 to actually healthy doubt 140 00:07:49,056 --> 00:07:51,570 and you can finally trust her advice. 141 00:07:52,759 --> 00:07:56,031 We also show self-destruction. 142 00:07:56,031 --> 00:07:57,676 It's a huge monster 143 00:07:57,676 --> 00:08:01,193 always lurking nearby under the water's surface. 144 00:08:01,193 --> 00:08:05,197 Self-destruction is actually the main antagonist of the game, 145 00:08:05,197 --> 00:08:09,388 and she is always trying to drown you in the ocean of tears, 146 00:08:09,774 --> 00:08:14,196 but, when she actually drowns you, you wake up just a few moments ago 147 00:08:14,196 --> 00:08:17,026 and you have a chance to progress again. 148 00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:23,720 We wanted to show that we all go through hardships in our life, we all, 149 00:08:24,024 --> 00:08:29,426 but if you at least, like, stand up and try to move forward, 150 00:08:29,713 --> 00:08:34,007 you are very likely to make it through your struggle, 151 00:08:34,229 --> 00:08:36,481 step by step. 152 00:08:37,089 --> 00:08:44,102 Joy is something that Kay cannot really embrace or touch. 153 00:08:44,329 --> 00:08:46,961 It's always something in the distance. 154 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,483 We portrayed Joy as a child version of Kay, 155 00:08:49,483 --> 00:08:51,025 like, with a yellow raincoat, 156 00:08:51,025 --> 00:08:54,113 so she is invulnerable to the ocean of tears. 157 00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:57,406 But Joy can also turn into obsession 158 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,492 and start to be actually harmful for Kay, 159 00:08:59,492 --> 00:09:02,830 like when she starts obsessing over her boyfriend. 160 00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:06,352 Joy will not turn back to normal 161 00:09:06,352 --> 00:09:10,199 until Kay is realizing that her happiness 162 00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:13,655 should not depend on anybody else 163 00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:15,546 but herself. 164 00:09:18,239 --> 00:09:21,189 So our monsters appear huge and scary, 165 00:09:21,189 --> 00:09:24,466 but if you overcome your reluctance and approach them, 166 00:09:24,466 --> 00:09:28,225 you soon see that they are no monsters at all, 167 00:09:28,225 --> 00:09:34,249 but just fragile beings that are simply overwhelmed by what life throws at them. 168 00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:39,232 All of those emotions, 169 00:09:39,232 --> 00:09:42,797 be it self-doubt or even self-destruction, 170 00:09:42,797 --> 00:09:46,356 don't completely banish in our game. 171 00:09:46,356 --> 00:09:48,113 The key message is 172 00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:52,049 to not only chase for joy or happiness 173 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:55,670 but to embrace all your emotions, 174 00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:58,632 and bringing them into balance, 175 00:09:59,289 --> 00:10:03,675 being OK with sometimes not being OK. 176 00:10:05,468 --> 00:10:09,574 So everyone has their own loneliness story to tell. 177 00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:13,617 This realization changed everything for me. 178 00:10:13,617 --> 00:10:16,327 Being much more open with my emotions 179 00:10:16,327 --> 00:10:20,041 and concentrating much more onto my private life, 180 00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:22,445 my friends, my family. 181 00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:25,142 When we released the game, 182 00:10:25,142 --> 00:10:28,009 literally thousands of fans wrote us, 183 00:10:28,009 --> 00:10:30,805 all sharing their stories with us 184 00:10:30,805 --> 00:10:35,575 and telling us they felt not so alone anymore 185 00:10:35,575 --> 00:10:37,908 just because they played our game. 186 00:10:38,744 --> 00:10:41,626 Now, many people wrote us that they felt hope 187 00:10:41,626 --> 00:10:45,285 for a better future for themselves for the first time in decades. 188 00:10:46,011 --> 00:10:49,823 Many wrote us that they seek therapy now, 189 00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:54,174 just because they played our game 190 00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:57,369 and felt hopeful to overcome their own struggles. 191 00:10:58,607 --> 00:11:01,017 Our game is not a therapy. 192 00:11:01,017 --> 00:11:02,772 It's not meant to be a therapy. 193 00:11:02,772 --> 00:11:05,663 It's just my friends and me sharing our stories 194 00:11:05,663 --> 00:11:08,120 through our art, video games, 195 00:11:08,311 --> 00:11:12,711 but we are so deeply thankful for every single method 196 00:11:12,711 --> 00:11:14,941 that people feel better 197 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:18,461 just because we shared our story with them. 198 00:11:19,729 --> 00:11:26,560 So, I didn't completely overcome my urge to help others, 199 00:11:27,252 --> 00:11:30,942 but I don't want to overcome that anymore. 200 00:11:31,136 --> 00:11:32,354 I love it. 201 00:11:32,354 --> 00:11:37,010 I just needed to bring it to a healthy size 202 00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:40,143 so it doesn't stand in the way of deeper relationships anymore, 203 00:11:40,143 --> 00:11:42,884 but even helped me to connect with people. 204 00:11:44,264 --> 00:11:48,060 So, if you have an inner monster 205 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:51,686 that is born out of negative emotions, 206 00:11:51,686 --> 00:11:54,889 it is not only the goal to kill that monster 207 00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:59,163 but to understand that we humans are complex beings. 208 00:12:00,204 --> 00:12:07,222 Look at what part of your life is so big that others fall short. 209 00:12:07,222 --> 00:12:10,625 Look at what emotions you barely feel, 210 00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:12,165 or maybe feel too much, 211 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,005 and move towards lowering those peaks. 212 00:12:15,453 --> 00:12:18,057 Most of all, it's about understanding 213 00:12:18,057 --> 00:12:21,723 that all the wide range of emotions and struggles 214 00:12:21,723 --> 00:12:23,917 makes us what we are: 215 00:12:24,209 --> 00:12:25,652 humans. 216 00:12:26,226 --> 00:12:27,619 Thank you. 217 00:12:27,619 --> 00:12:29,413 (Applause)