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A 3 decker!
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Consisting of One - The Sneetches
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Two - The Zax
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and Three - Green Eggs and Ham
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Now the star bellied sneetches had bellys with stars.
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The plain bellied sneetches had none
upon thars.
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No stars on their bellys. No stars upon thars.
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Now those stars weren't so big.
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They were really quite small.
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You would think such a thing wouldn't matter at all.
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But because they had stars, all the
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star bellied sneetches would brag.
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"We're the best kind of sneetch on the beaches!"
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With their snoots in the air,
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the would sniff and they'd snort.
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They'd have nothing to do with the plain
bellied sort.
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"Ronald, remember, when you are out walking,
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you walk past a sneetch of that type without talking."
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"Keep your snoot in the air, and remember
to snort.
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We have no truck whatever with the
plain bellied sort."
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When the star bellied children went out to play ball.
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Could a plain belly get in the game? Not at all!
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You only could play if your bellies had stars.
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And the plain bellied children had none
upon thars.
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Yar Yar...your belly's got no stars.
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When the star bellied sneetches had
frankfurter roasts,
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or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
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They never invited the plain belly sneetches.
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They left them out cold and in the dark
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on the beaches.
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They kept them away.
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They never let them come near.
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That's how they treated them year
after year.
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They got snort. They got snooted.
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Their bottoms got booted.
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While the star bellied sneetches all taunted
and hooted.
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"They just are not suited. No stars upon thars!"
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Then one day, it seems while the plain
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bellied sneetches were moping and doping
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alone on the beaches, just sitting there
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wishing their bellies had stars.
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A stranger approached in the strangest of cars.
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"My friends, I have seen they've been treating you mean.
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My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
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I know precisely why you're so unhappy.
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And that I can fix. I'm the fix it up chappy.
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machine noises
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My prices are low, and I work with great
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speed and my work is 100% guaranteed.
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By my new patent process of protoprotoxis
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of the inner subnuclear neausbaum nogoxsis
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you'll get a star like the star bellied
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sneetch for the mere paltry payment of $3 each.
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A star? Here?
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Yes my friend, there.
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And the first to go through gets the trip at
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half fare.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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machine noises
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It works!
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Yeah, It works! It works!
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Ladies and gentlemen. We are faced with a
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most awkward dilemma.
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We're the true star bellys.
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We had them first.
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We're still the best sneetches, and
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they're still the worst.
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Yeah, but how are we going to proove it?
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Which is which? I can't tell us apart.
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Let me through...excuse me.
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Step aside please. Thank you.
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You don't know me my friends
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but calm down if you can, I'm here
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to help the original star bellied clan.
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Those upstarts it's true now have
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stars just like you.
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But follow me my friends and you know what
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I'll do? I'll make you again the best sneetches
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on the beaches and all it will cost you is
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$10 eaches.
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Belly stars my dear friends are no
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longer in style. I'll have yours off in a
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very short while.
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In my wondrous machine which
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eradicates stars. Then you won't look like sneetches
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who have them on thars.
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Eradicate these? Eradicates these with
the greatest of ease!
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Provided you pay your 10 bucks if you please.
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Here's $10 for the boy and $10 for me.
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Thank you.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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machine noises
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How original! How distinctive!
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How exclusive!
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Then of course, those with stars
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all got frightfully mad.
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To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad.
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And of course old Sylvester McMonkey
McBean,
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invited them into his "Star Off" machine.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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machine noise
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Then of course from then on,
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as you probably guessed, things really
got into a horrible mess.
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machine noise
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All the rest of that day
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on those wild screaming beaches,
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the fix it up chappy kept fixing up
sneetches!
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Off again, on again, in again, out again.
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Through the machine, they raced round and about
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again changing their stars every minute or two.
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They kept paying money.
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They kept running through until
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neither the plain or the star bellies
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knew whether this one or that one was
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this one or which one was what one.
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Or what one was who.
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Then, when every last cent of their money
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was spent, the fix it up chappy
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packed up and he went.
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machine noise
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And he laughed as he drove his
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car up the beach.
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They never will learn. No, you can't
teach a sneetch.
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But, McBean was quite wrong.
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I am happy to say that the sneetches
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got really quite smart on that day.
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That day they decided that sneetches
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are sneetches and no kind of sneetch
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is the best on the beaches.
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That day all the sneetches forgot about stars,
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and whether or not they had one upon thars.