[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.81,0:00:05.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,~
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.80,0:00:11.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all know a person,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.24,0:00:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe that person is you,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.00,0:00:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who opposes, denies and doubts.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.87,0:00:20.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who has no faith in human goodness,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.11,0:00:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is so pessimistic and so skeptical
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.68,0:00:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it seems like they \Neither have no belief in
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.24,0:00:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or maybe even an animosity towards \Nor contempt for pleasure,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.44,0:00:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hope,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.52,0:00:33.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,faith and positivity.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.23,0:00:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Society calls this a cynic.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.65,0:00:42.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not here today to sell you \Non the concept of positivity.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.04,0:00:45.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a really outdated concept.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.68,0:00:48.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially just fighting against \Npessimism with optimism.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.20,0:00:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What i'm here to do today
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.51,0:00:53.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to make the argument that \Ncynicism is not a character trait.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.24,0:00:55.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a coping mechanism.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.42,0:00:59.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To cope is to make a specific alteration
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.08,0:01:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mentally, emotionally or physically
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.78,0:01:04.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that you can manage or adapt \Nto something that's causing you stress.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.32,0:01:07.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A coping mechanism is a specific \Nprocedure, process or technique
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.73,0:01:10.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which manages or creates \Nadaptation to stress.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.56,0:01:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And therefore it is \Nthe opposite of change.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.21,0:01:17.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it is to adapt to a stressor,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.84,0:01:21.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than to change a situation \Nso that there is no longer a stressor.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.10,0:01:24.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To understand this more in depth, \Nwatch my video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.78,0:01:27.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How to Let Go of A Coping Mechanism
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.74,0:01:30.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cynicism is a coping mechanism
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.36,0:01:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that most likely saved your life
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.24,0:01:33.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at one time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.41,0:01:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's also a coping mechanism
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.96,0:01:36.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that can destroy your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.52,0:01:38.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it makes other people
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.87,0:01:40.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,end up in so much pain
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.58,0:01:43.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it actually creates a vicious spiral
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.67,0:01:45.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.94,0:01:48.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To understand this pattern of cynicism,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.43,0:01:51.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have to go back to the onset \Nof this coping mechanism
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.59,0:01:52.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to begin with.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.04,0:01:57.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because people are not born\Ncynics and skeptics.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.88,0:02:01.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When was the last time you met \Na cynical or skeptical, baby?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.06,0:02:03.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are cynical
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.22,0:02:06.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at some point in your life or many,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.69,0:02:08.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most likely many,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.54,0:02:12.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you experienced catastrophic letdown.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.48,0:02:14.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Catastrophic sudden shocks
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.18,0:02:17.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or disappointments relative \Nto the positive elements of your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.00,0:02:19.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, a situation or many
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.65,0:02:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that caused a catastrophic \Nblow to your belief in others,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.38,0:02:24.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hopes, dreams, goals, trust,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.97,0:02:27.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,faith, desires or expectations.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.28,0:02:30.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This experience was so psychologically,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.86,0:02:32.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so emotionally
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.31,0:02:35.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and maybe even so physically \Ntraumatizing to you,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.86,0:02:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you decided
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.41,0:02:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that at all costs you had to avoid
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.00,0:02:42.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the vulnerability of positivity.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.18,0:02:45.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Essentially you got into \Nthat situation and decided that
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.86,0:02:49.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,positivity, state of positivity \Nputs you in such a vulnerable state,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.11,0:02:52.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you had to buffer yourself \Nagainst that for all time and eternity.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.50,0:02:53.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No matter the cost.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.78,0:02:55.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a result,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.03,0:02:56.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you started to use negativity
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.89,0:02:58.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as this way of buffering yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.62,0:03:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against the vulnerability \Nand the positive states.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.48,0:03:04.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this negativity,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.64,0:03:06.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other people on the outside \Nperceive to be so painful
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.98,0:03:09.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it causes them to go into defense
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.08,0:03:10.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to start to act hostile.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.44,0:03:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what defense mode does, \Ncauses you to be hostile, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.92,0:03:15.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that hostility
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.29,0:03:18.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,further reinforced your belief \Nthat you had to buffer yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.90,0:03:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which makes them even more hostile,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.77,0:03:22.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which reinforces your cynical behavior,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.89,0:03:24.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which makes them more hostile,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.34,0:03:26.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which reinforces your cynicism.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.24,0:03:28.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is the spiral \Nthat just keeps on going
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.55,0:03:31.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we could consider \Nself-fulfilling prophecy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.50,0:03:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is ultimately your right \Nto remain cynical towards the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.83,0:03:37.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, you have every excuse to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.56,0:03:39.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reality is,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.42,0:03:42.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no reason, \Ngiven your life experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.85,0:03:44.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for you to feel optimistic.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.39,0:03:47.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no reason \Ngiven your life experience
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.29,0:03:48.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be trusting.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.70,0:03:51.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have all the reason \Nyou want in the world to stay cynical.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.80,0:03:54.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's completely your choice \Nand actually your right.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.90,0:03:57.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The thing is, is that this state of being
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.85,0:04:01.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,may just be preventing you \Nfrom the very life of well-being
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.12,0:04:03.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you are meant to come here to live.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.26,0:04:06.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Living in a constant state \Nof pessimism and letdown
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.78,0:04:08.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not really living.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.27,0:04:09.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's also a coping mechanism,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.97,0:04:11.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,much like positive bypassing,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.92,0:04:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,smoking, cutting, gambling or suppression.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.54,0:04:15.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.94,0:04:16.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.81,0:04:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you are interested in letting go \Nof the coping mechanism of cynicism
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.42,0:04:22.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've got some suggestions.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.61,0:04:23.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#1:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.56,0:04:26.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be brave enough to see \Nwhat you're getting out of cynicism.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.82,0:04:30.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't mean this \Nin this obnoxious self-help way
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.37,0:04:32.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or like: "What are you getting \Nout of this horrible behavior?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.67,0:04:35.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I mean like really look at: \N"How does it keep you safe?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.38,0:04:37.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How is it benefiting you?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.82,0:04:40.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it definitely is, \Notherwise you wouldn't be doing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.13,0:04:43.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it true that it's causing you pain?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.08,0:04:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it true is ruining your life? Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.87,0:04:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's also benefiting you somehow.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.46,0:04:47.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is that way?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.68,0:04:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you feel hurt \Nand afraid and disappointed
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.58,0:04:51.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you can't face \Nthose emotions directly,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.52,0:04:54.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you turn against the world \Nand begin to push things away.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.32,0:04:57.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We use cynicism to make sure \Nwe never ever get our hopes up,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.21,0:04:58.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only to be let down again.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.96,0:05:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Essentially we disappoint ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.64,0:05:02.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before the world can ever do it for us.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.72,0:05:05.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But cynicism paints the lens \Nyou see the world through dark
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.53,0:05:08.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it also separates you \Nfrom genuine awareness.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.14,0:05:11.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever you have an antagonistic \Nperspective about something
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.05,0:05:12.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that someone else feels positive about
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.12,0:05:16.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or whenever you want to deny \Nor doubt or feel pessimism creeping in,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.44,0:05:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stop caring about whether \Nyou're right or wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.32,0:05:20.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Guess what?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.41,0:05:21.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You might be either.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.71,0:05:23.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You might be very right.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.36,0:05:24.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You also might be wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.91,0:05:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't matter.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.44,0:05:27.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether you're right or wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.87,0:05:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shouldn't stop you from being able \Nto step back and ask yourself:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.98,0:05:32.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"All right...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.36,0:05:34.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this situation,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.76,0:05:36.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how is this pessimism...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.96,0:05:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How is my:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.68,0:05:40.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, right, that's not going to happen" \Nactually serving me?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.91,0:05:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is it protecting me from?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.40,0:05:45.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How is it keeping me safe \Nin this specific situation?"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.68,0:05:46.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.53,0:05:48.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's say that you sit down \Nto dinner with a friend and they're like:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.94,0:05:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know, what?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.16,0:05:52.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like this next year \Nis gonna be great."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.04,0:05:55.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you can feel yourself going:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.57,0:05:58.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This person is an optimistic idiot".
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.54,0:06:01.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Notice yourself having that reaction.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.32,0:06:03.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And really think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.93,0:06:05.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"All right,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.06,0:06:07.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what does believing \Nthat this person is an idiot
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.73,0:06:10.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and believing that next year \Nis going to be crappy,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.45,0:06:11.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do for me?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.64,0:06:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is it preventing me \Nfrom experiencing?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.49,0:06:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How is this keeping me safe?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.95,0:06:20.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#2:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.72,0:06:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're gonna have to \Nsee yourself as a scapegoater.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.20,0:06:25.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, this should be \Nextremely painful for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.41,0:06:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why? Because most people \Nwho turn into skeptics
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.92,0:06:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were actually scapegoats \Nin their family dynamics.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.84,0:06:32.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you know how painful that was
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.53,0:06:35.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to always be made the problem \Neven when you weren't the problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.00,0:06:38.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do I say that you're a scapegoater?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.13,0:06:41.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because instead of making the person \Nwho let you down the problem,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.92,0:06:44.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You made the fact that you got \Nyour hopes up, the problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.12,0:06:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You scapegoated positivity.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.20,0:06:50.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many cynics do this \Nscapegoating of the positive
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.72,0:06:52.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to preserve their relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.58,0:06:56.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the very people who cause \Nthem the trauma in the first place.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.03,0:06:58.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words, it isn't \Ndad that's the problem,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.32,0:07:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's that I got my hopes up, \Nthat's the problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.96,0:07:03.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That way I can control \Nnot getting hurt again.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.58,0:07:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not having the solution be in dad's hands
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.88,0:07:08.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and still hang out and be close to dad,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.10,0:07:10.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without there being \Na problem between us
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.05,0:07:11.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and still feel a sense of belonging.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.16,0:07:15.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Moving beyond cynicism \Nis about getting really real.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.55,0:07:17.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean deeply into reality
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.19,0:07:20.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about what the real problem was and is,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.19,0:07:21.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of the scapegoat
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.58,0:07:23.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the hope or the faith or the optimism
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.71,0:07:25.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or whatever else it is \Nyou've been scapegoating.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.04,0:07:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Getting into reality about what \Nthe real problem was and is
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.76,0:07:32.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that you can create \Nreal solutions to it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.21,0:07:34.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.18,0:07:36.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What was the real problem
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.21,0:07:38.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,relative to things not coming to fruition?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.21,0:07:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopes and our expectations \Nnot being fulfilled,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.20,0:07:43.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disappointments and negative trends.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.36,0:07:46.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You gotta do this rather than \Nscapegoat the optimism,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.57,0:07:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,scapegoat the positivity,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.42,0:07:51.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,scapegoat the hope \Nor the positive expectations
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.38,0:07:53.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#3:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.23,0:07:56.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Recognize that you set out \Nto prove everything wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.71,0:07:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to not feel so wrong yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.45,0:08:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you prove everything else wrong,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.13,0:08:02.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're not wrong, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.12,0:08:04.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many skeptics feel like in life
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.85,0:08:07.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other people either made or \Ntend to make everything their fault.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.91,0:08:10.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if they prove that \Nthe fault lies with other things
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.72,0:08:12.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and people in the external,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.32,0:08:13.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they don't have to feel
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.51,0:08:16.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that deep down fear \Nthat everything is their fault.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.68,0:08:18.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the insecurity \Nthat you can't face.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.40,0:08:21.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anything outside facing \Nthis insecurity is avoidance.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.96,0:08:24.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is the real reason \Nwhy it doesn't work
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.21,0:08:26.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to argue with a cynic or a skeptic.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.57,0:08:28.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you're a cynic or a skeptic,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.27,0:08:30.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it doesn't work for you \Nto argue with people
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.47,0:08:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for people to argue with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.16,0:08:33.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why? Because when you do this
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.68,0:08:36.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it simply reinforces \Nthis original wound of:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.20,0:08:37.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're wrong!"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.84,0:08:38.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#4:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.69,0:08:41.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are a cynic,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.19,0:08:42.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're going to have to accept
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.78,0:08:45.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a very vulnerable truth about yourself...
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.84,0:08:48.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that truth about yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.37,0:08:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is deeply hidden
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.71,0:08:51.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,under all the ways \Nyou act towards other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.55,0:08:55.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean all the ways you act \Nare basically used to disguise
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.89,0:08:57.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the truth of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.36,0:08:58.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is that deep down
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.91,0:09:00.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your ultimate need is kindness.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.12,0:09:02.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What you really want is kindness,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.74,0:09:05.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you would never \Ndare reveal this vulnerability
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.03,0:09:07.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or set yourself up to have \Nyour hopes dashed again,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.05,0:09:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so you would never admit to it
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.63,0:09:10.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or ask for kindness directly.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.56,0:09:11.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're a skeptic,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.82,0:09:13.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you tend to isolate yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.38,0:09:14.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You tend to push people away
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.73,0:09:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and give the impression that you \Ndon't really need or want other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.16,0:09:19.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This isn't true.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.56,0:09:21.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a cynic
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.58,0:09:24.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't want to be alone \Nanymore than anyone else does.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.39,0:09:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just that you associate \Npeople with pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.80,0:09:29.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want a relationship that feels good
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.95,0:09:31.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and feels like ease
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.03,0:09:34.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with people who are kind and \Nconsiderate and who really value you
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.19,0:09:35.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and don't let you down.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.76,0:09:37.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the thing;
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.06,0:09:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your cynicism which is this \Ncoping mechanism that you've developed,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.57,0:09:41.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it hurts other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.63,0:09:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They associate you with pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.71,0:09:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right now to be \Nin a relationship with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.00,0:09:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have to be willing to be hurt,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.16,0:09:52.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have to be willing to be kicked,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.16,0:09:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have to be willing to be pricked.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.97,0:09:57.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're perpetuating the very cycle
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.02,0:09:58.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that hurt you in the first place.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.95,0:10:01.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what are people going to do
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.76,0:10:03.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they're so wounded by you?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.73,0:10:05.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because this behavior hurts people,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.42,0:10:06.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what it does.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.88,0:10:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't want to be around it.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.17,0:10:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want society to change,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.03,0:10:12.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't be sitting there
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.94,0:10:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,waiting for them to change first,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.22,0:10:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that you can change.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.14,0:10:20.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want to have people \Nin your life who are kind
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.03,0:10:21.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who are considerate,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.52,0:10:23.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who value you
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.14,0:10:25.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who don't let you down,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.40,0:10:27.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those are going to be the qualities
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.22,0:10:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you've got to offer other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.58,0:10:34.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Currently all people feel is stupid \Nand wrong and unvalued by you.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.39,0:10:37.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means they can't \Nreally share themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.32,0:10:40.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means they can't \Nreally develop intimacy with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.80,0:10:43.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to sit with this for a minute.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.36,0:10:46.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sit with the truth of this \Nand sit with how sucky it may be.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.61,0:10:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I mean by that is:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.12,0:10:49.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sit with the idea of:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.36,0:10:52.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How can I make myself \Nsafer and more pleasant
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.33,0:10:55.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for other people to be around?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.70,0:10:58.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ultimately, do you want \Nthem to feel good around you
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.20,0:11:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or do you want them \Nto feel like crap around you?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.56,0:11:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want them to \Nfeel like crap around you,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.42,0:11:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can continue doing \Nwhat you're doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.92,0:11:05.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But most likely when you sit with this \Nyou're going to be like:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.86,0:11:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, I would like \Nif people feel safe around me,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.67,0:11:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would like if they feel like \Ni'm kind and considerate."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.64,0:11:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, so how might you act in a way
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.46,0:11:14.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that gives them that feeling around you?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.98,0:11:17.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also sit with \Nthe side of you that's like:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.18,0:11:17.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This sucks!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.89,0:11:20.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want to have to be the first \Nperson to give this crap to people
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.19,0:11:22.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they're not giving \Nthe same thing to me."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.41,0:11:25.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to sit with \Nyour resistance to doing this.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.01,0:11:27.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also the part that \Nmay be interested in doing this.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.79,0:11:29.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The thing you're going to have to swallow
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.43,0:11:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regardless of what you do \Nrelative to this point,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.15,0:11:34.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that you're going to have to accept\Nthat the impression you give off
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.16,0:11:37.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that you don't want and need
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.63,0:11:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exactly what it is that you want and need.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.63,0:11:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's not a recipe for getting \Nwhat you want and need.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.88,0:11:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#5:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.71,0:11:46.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most cynics come from families
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.25,0:11:49.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where there's already a problem \Nwith happiness to begin with,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.25,0:11:51.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,regardless of what is said.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.93,0:11:53.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, why do I mention this?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.34,0:11:55.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it's quite common \Nin dysfunctional families
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.79,0:11:57.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a parent to say something like:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.45,0:12:00.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"All I ever cared about\Nwas your happiness."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.95,0:12:02.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When in reality,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.33,0:12:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,any time the kid got happy,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.54,0:12:06.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the parent turned it against them.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.44,0:12:08.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The parent got frustrated.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.56,0:12:10.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The parent called them selfish.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.52,0:12:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever the kid got its hopes up,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.28,0:12:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the kid got shamed \Nfor getting its hopes up.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.84,0:12:21.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So even though the narrative \Nin a household may be:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.40,0:12:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I cared about your happiness",
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.68,0:12:25.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really there was an in general issue
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.73,0:12:29.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with positive emotional states in general.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.61,0:12:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're a cynic
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.82,0:12:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the vulnerability of positivity \Nis what you're trying to avoid.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.35,0:12:36.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For this reason, \Nit's critical to understand
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.58,0:12:39.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your negative association \Nwith positivity and happiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.37,0:12:40.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And see that positive emotion
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.100,0:12:43.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could in and of itself \Nbe a trigger for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.27,0:12:44.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Negating anything positive
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.78,0:12:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is how many cynics control \Ntheir rather wounded
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.16,0:12:49.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and therefore fragile emotional system
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.12,0:12:52.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by maintaining a predictable feeling \Nof negative or monotone
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.96,0:12:54.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to create predictability.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.02,0:12:57.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a "no real dramatic ups and downs
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.75,0:13:01.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I keep myself at a predictably \Nlow emotional altitude" thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.85,0:13:04.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is not the life \Nyou came here to live.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.36,0:13:06.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is also not a recipe for fulfillment.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.93,0:13:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To understand this dynamic fully,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.67,0:13:09.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watch my video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.73,0:13:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Happiness Is A Bad Thing
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.34,0:13:13.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#6:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.06,0:13:14.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be brave enough \Nto look at the wounding
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.92,0:13:17.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is hiding underneath \Nthis coping mechanism.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.36,0:13:19.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means you're going to \Nhave to be attuned
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.53,0:13:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the subtle negative \Nemotional trigger you have,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.27,0:13:25.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a result of positive things.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.86,0:13:27.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like people telling you good news,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.82,0:13:30.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or feeling hope creep up in you
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.36,0:13:32.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards what might happen \Nin this new relationship,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.84,0:13:34.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, you know... Anything that stirs
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.81,0:13:37.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,any kind of positive expectation in you.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.46,0:13:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can use this discomfort that arises
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.84,0:13:42.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as well as any accompanying thoughts like:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.35,0:13:45.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This person's only doing this \Nfor their own self gratification".
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.44,0:13:49.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or: "That's never going to work out" \Nor: "The world's going to shit anyways"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.12,0:13:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a doorway to this original experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.06,0:13:53.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this way,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.72,0:13:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can create resolve\Nwith that original experience
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.28,0:13:59.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which changes your world today.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.56,0:14:00.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To do this,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.14,0:14:03.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to use \NThe Completion Process
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.57,0:14:06.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Doing this process will help you \Nto answer the question:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.26,0:14:07.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"When did I experience a trauma
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.76,0:14:10.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in which my faith in people \Nor my positive goals
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.07,0:14:12.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or hopes or expectations \Nor faith was dashed?"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.84,0:14:14.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When did I feel totally blindsided?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.62,0:14:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When did I become disillusioned?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.60,0:14:19.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What painful disappointment \Nwas too much for me to resolve?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.77,0:14:21.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To learn how to do this process
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.28,0:14:24.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can pick up a copy \Nof my book titled quite literally:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.01,0:14:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Completion Process o
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.33,0:14:27.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,r visit: \Nthecompletionprocess.com
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.92,0:14:30.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And select a practitioner \Nto lead you through it.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.47,0:14:32.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can also watch my video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.46,0:14:34.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How To Heal The Emotional Body
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.32,0:14:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And because disappointment is so often \Nthe deep wound beneath cynicism,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.76,0:14:39.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would benefit you \Nto watch my video titled:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.96,0:14:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Disappointment \N(How To Get Over Disappointment)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.32,0:14:43.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.29,0:14:44.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#7:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.01,0:14:46.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like so many of \Nthe best coping mechanisms,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.40,0:14:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by this point
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.52,0:14:50.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it has wound itself \Ninto your self-concept
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.79,0:14:53.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so as to make it a part \Nof your self-esteem
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.72,0:14:55.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and therefore ego.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.64,0:14:57.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your self-esteem and self-concept
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.64,0:14:59.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is dependent upon cynicism now.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.00,0:15:01.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're a cynic
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.31,0:15:03.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you maintain the coping mechanism
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.10,0:15:06.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,partly because you tell yourself \Nthat being cynical or skeptical
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.20,0:15:07.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes you more intelligent,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.72,0:15:09.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more experienced and worldly,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.60,0:15:11.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i.e. better.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.47,0:15:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your sense of superiority is derived
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.76,0:15:14.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from seeing what you call
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.97,0:15:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the harsh reality of others in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.00,0:15:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You tend to drive self-esteem \Nthrough how dumb
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.32,0:15:21.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and innocent and naive and inexperienced
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.39,0:15:23.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you think others are \Nwhen they're positive.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.01,0:15:27.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reality is when you experience \Nthis original letdown
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.98,0:15:32.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you didn't just turn against \Nand scapegoat positivity,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:32.46,0:15:34.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you also turned against yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.39,0:15:36.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of making the real problem,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.37,0:15:39.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the problem which was the person \Nwho let you down, for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.41,0:15:41.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you made yourself the problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.07,0:15:42.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm such a freaking idiot
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.86,0:15:45.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for getting my hopes up \Nin the first place."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.20,0:15:47.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now whenever you see anyone else
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.59,0:15:50.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who mirrors that original \Nway that you were
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.10,0:15:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you had your hopes up \Nat that moment,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.18,0:15:54.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it triggers you to respond to that person
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.13,0:15:56.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the same way you responded to yourself:
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.06,0:15:58.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're a naive freaking idiot."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.01,0:16:00.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This probably means that \Nsome work needs to be done
Dialogue: 0,0:16:00.66,0:16:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about that little part of you \Nthat got its hopes up,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.18,0:16:04.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that had faith and optimism
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.97,0:16:07.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and positive expectations for the future.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.18,0:16:08.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#8:
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.89,0:16:11.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Start the practice of 'And Consciousness.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.42,0:16:14.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Consciousness is by far a better idea
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.27,0:16:16.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to include as your self-concept
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.14,0:16:17.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or part of your self-concept,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.55,0:16:18.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than cynicism.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.61,0:16:20.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it's far deeper in reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.33,0:16:21.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.44,0:16:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Reality is comprised of polarities.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.02,0:16:27.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Consciousness is a state of mind
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.15,0:16:30.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you develop the ability \Nto hold space for extremes.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.38,0:16:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is an extremely important part \Nof the development
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.96,0:16:35.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of both mental and emotional maturity.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.72,0:16:39.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the moment we acknowledge \Na contradictory truth or state of being
Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.03,0:16:41.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and expand wide enough \Nto be able to hold both
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.29,0:16:42.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if holding both is okay,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.75,0:16:45.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have disidentified\Nfrom both extremes.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.87,0:16:47.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've ceased to become either or
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.87,0:16:50.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and instead have become \Nthe thing that is holding both.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.19,0:16:54.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Reality includes both \Npositive and negative.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.88,0:16:56.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both faith and doubt.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.01,0:16:59.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The most conscious person in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.09,0:17:02.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not a person who uses \None to negate the other.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.71,0:17:05.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or who recognizes one \Nand not the other.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.04,0:17:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a person who is able to hold both
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.60,0:17:10.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a picture of the reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.04,0:17:12.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.07,0:17:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not any more aware of a person
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.82,0:17:16.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be only aware of the negative,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.96,0:17:20.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than it is aware of a person \Nto be only aware of the positive.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:21.64,0:17:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#9:
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.93,0:17:25.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're a cynic, you're going to \Nhave to swallow the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.76,0:17:28.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you are relationally traumatized.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.86,0:17:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is relational trauma?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.68,0:17:32.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is trauma that occurs \Nwithin the context
Dialogue: 0,0:17:32.78,0:17:34.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of interpersonal relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:35.12,0:17:36.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:36.31,0:17:39.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever trauma happens \Nin interpersonal relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.20,0:17:41.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a person loses their \Nsense of trust in others.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:42.45,0:17:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Guess what?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:43.28,0:17:46.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're a deeply distrustful person \Nfor a very good reason
Dialogue: 0,0:17:46.27,0:17:49.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and anybody who tells you: \N"You just need to start trusting people"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:49.19,0:17:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not in reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:50.32,0:17:54.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because to just decide \Nwith your free will to trust someone,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:54.28,0:17:55.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't actually possible.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.45,0:17:57.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But...
Dialogue: 0,0:17:57.43,0:18:01.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust in relationships is a key \Ncomponent of relationship success
Dialogue: 0,0:18:01.11,0:18:02.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also personal happiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:03.05,0:18:06.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This means it's time to master trust.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:07.12,0:18:09.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To understand how to do this
Dialogue: 0,0:18:09.54,0:18:11.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or to take your first two steps,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.47,0:18:12.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watch two of my videos.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:12.97,0:18:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first is:
Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.70,0:18:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust (What is Trust & How to \NBuild Trust In Relationships)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:16.64,0:18:17.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second is:
Dialogue: 0,0:18:17.56,0:18:19.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How to Create A Safe Relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.01,0:18:20.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,#10:
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.88,0:18:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a cynic
Dialogue: 0,0:18:21.92,0:18:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are trying harder to buffer yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:18:24.08,0:18:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from suffering and pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:25.33,0:18:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than you are trying to really see truth
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.00,0:18:29.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or see reality as it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:29.97,0:18:31.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That being said,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.10,0:18:33.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think one of the very best \Nthings about you
Dialogue: 0,0:18:33.68,0:18:35.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that unlike a lot of people
Dialogue: 0,0:18:35.92,0:18:40.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you actually genuinely \Ndo have a desire for reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.02,0:18:43.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want to be in reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.23,0:18:45.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I consider this
Dialogue: 0,0:18:45.79,0:18:47.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a crazy awesome trait.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:48.35,0:18:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may be currently \Nleaving the picture of positivity
Dialogue: 0,0:18:51.57,0:18:53.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,out of the picture of reality,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.75,0:18:55.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you want reality nonetheless.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:55.95,0:18:57.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're more brave than most
Dialogue: 0,0:18:57.83,0:19:01.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when it comes to seeing those \Nunsavory elements of reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:01.83,0:19:05.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The opposite polarity from the one \Nthat most people want to look at.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.92,0:19:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have broken out of many \Npatterns of ignorance and falsehood
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.50,0:19:11.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and discovered more of what is real
Dialogue: 0,0:19:11.18,0:19:13.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you have seen the genuine \Nproblems in this world.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.84,0:19:16.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This knowledge can give you power in fact.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:16.34,0:19:19.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After all, your only access \Nof power is to be in reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:19.56,0:19:21.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I want you to ask yourself:
Dialogue: 0,0:19:21.18,0:19:25.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What have you become \Ndisillusioned with and why?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.62,0:19:27.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is that disillusionment showing you
Dialogue: 0,0:19:27.93,0:19:30.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you do want?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:30.47,0:19:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And how might you take steps
Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.00,0:19:36.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the direction of creating \Nwhat you do want?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.56,0:19:39.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once you have that answer, \Ndo those things.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:39.65,0:19:40.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:40.69,0:19:43.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if the issue with the world \Nis that people aren't kind,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:43.60,0:19:46.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if you had to be the one \Nto show people by example
Dialogue: 0,0:19:46.18,0:19:48.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it looked like to be kind,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:48.00,0:19:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would you think say and do?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:50.26,0:19:54.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a skeptic your negative assessments \Nare a defense against suffering.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:54.16,0:19:56.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are deeply afraid \Nof expecting anything
Dialogue: 0,0:19:56.51,0:19:59.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that turns out to be less \Nthan what you want or expect.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:59.17,0:20:01.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You spend your life disappointing yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:20:01.17,0:20:03.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and letting yourself down \Nand countering hope and faith
Dialogue: 0,0:20:03.58,0:20:05.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before the world can do it for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:05.28,0:20:06.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was a brilliant strategy,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.96,0:20:08.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but all brilliant strategies
Dialogue: 0,0:20:08.31,0:20:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can wind up being \Nthe very thing that harms you.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.60,0:20:13.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In your case, the very thing \Ncommitting you to a painful life.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:13.62,0:20:16.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not here today \Nto make a case for positivity.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:16.48,0:20:19.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not here today to convince you \Nthat the world is good
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.31,0:20:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the people are good, \Nbecause let's face it...
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.60,0:20:24.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have so much proof \Nto the opposite, it's almost ridiculous.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.62,0:20:26.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What i'm here today to do \Nis to make a case
Dialogue: 0,0:20:26.87,0:20:29.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you're living in a coping mechanism.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:29.49,0:20:30.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not in reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:30.71,0:20:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it just so happens \Nto be a coping mechanism
Dialogue: 0,0:20:33.93,0:20:38.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is preventing you from living \Nthe life you actually came here to live.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:38.98,0:20:40.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a good week.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:40.74,0:20:42.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you liked this video,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:42.40,0:20:45.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be sure to share it, like it, \Nand also subscribe to my channel
Dialogue: 0,0:20:45.85,0:20:48.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you can see more content like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:48.42,0:20:51.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I want to personally thank you\Nfor taking the initiative
Dialogue: 0,0:20:51.42,0:20:54.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and having the bravery \Nto step into the space of awareness
Dialogue: 0,0:20:54.25,0:20:57.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not only for yourself, \Nbut for the benefit of those around you.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:16.47,0:21:18.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte