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You've been dating for a while now,[br]and things seem to be going well.

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You have the same hobbies,[br]you both love dogs and kids,

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and neither of you[br]listens to dubstep.

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It might be time for someone[br]to pop the big question...

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"What's your credit score?"

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Nothing kills the mood like prying [br]into your partner's financial history,

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so it's not surprising[br]that many young couples

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will spend hundreds of hours[br]planning their weddings

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but almost none preparing[br]their financial merger.

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And that's kind of a big deal.

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Nearly one-in-three couples say finances[br]cause the most stress in their relationship,

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followed distantly by intimacy,[br]children and in-laws.

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More than a third of [br]millennials in relationships

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fight about money [br]at least once a week!

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Which is troubling, because couples[br]who disagree about money

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once a week or more were over 30%[br]more likely to get divorced

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than those who disagree[br]a couple times a month.

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A lot of this marital strife[br]can be avoided

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just by having a few honest[br]conversations before tying the knot.

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It can be hard[br]to broach the subject,

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so to make it easier for all[br]those young lovers out there,

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here are five financial topics you should[br]discuss with your future partner.

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Number 1

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What do you earn, what do you own,[br]and what do you owe?

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It can be difficult to reveal[br]this information,

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but it's best to just [br]rip the band-aid off.

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After all, lack of money is not[br]as bad as lack of communication.

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According to one study,[br]4 in 10 couples

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don't agree on what [br]their partner's income was.

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And 10% of them got the number[br]wrong by $25,000 or more.

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Good planning is impossible if each[br]of you only has half the information,

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and getting everything out on[br]the table will only strengthen trust.

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Philip and I suggest having[br]this talk in two parts.

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Send each other an email with[br]a simple breakdown of your finances

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and then a few days later come together[br]in a non-judgmental frame of mind

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to discuss the human story[br]behind those numbers.

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Number 2

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How was money dealt with[br]in your household growing up?

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As much as we don't[br]like to admit it,

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we are heavily influenced by[br]the environment we were raised in,

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so learning about your [br]partner's family traditions

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can offer a lot of insight and [br]understanding into their financial habits.

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Did they grow up [br]on a tight budget?

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Did one parent run the show [br]or did they share responsibility?

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Were they ever taught [br]to balance a checkbook?

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The second part of this conversation[br]is figuring out what traditions

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you each grew up with [br]that you don't want to replicate.

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Maybe your partner's parents[br]struggled with debt

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so it's very important to them[br]to not get into that same quagmire.

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Number 3

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What will be yours, mine and ours?

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It's becoming more common for couples to[br]keep separate accounts even after marriage.

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Maybe they're afraid of [br]losing independence,

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maybe they just haven't[br]gotten around to it yet,

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but they might be missing out[br]on some benefits of a joint account

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like easier organization [br]and transparency.

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If you and your partner decide[br]to keep separate accounts,

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make sure that you're not creating[br]places where secrets can hide.

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About one third of spouses admit [br]to committing financial infidelity,

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which means intentionally[br]deceiving your partner

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about how you're[br]spending or managing money.

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Of those, 16% ended up in divorce[br]expressly because of it.

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And remember, you don't need[br]to have separate accounts

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to enjoy [br]financial independence.

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Julia and I have agreed on a set amount[br]of personal splurge money per month.

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It's always equal and we can do[br]whatever we want with zero discussion.

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It gives us space to be ourselves without[br]fear of lectures or petty squabbles.

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Number 4

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How much do you want[br]to spend on kids?

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While most couples will talk about[br]whether they want kids,

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far fewer will discuss [br]the massive financial impact

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- which can start[br]before they're even born!

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About 15% of couples [br]struggle with infertility,

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and the cost of a common[br]fertility treatment in the U.S.

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ranges from about[br]$12,000 - $15,000.

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The average private adoption[br]costs almost $40,000!

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Once you've got the kid, [br]you have to decide about daycare,

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public school versus private,[br]and of course, college.

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Right now, the average cost[br]of sending a child

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to a 4-year public university[br]is around $100K.

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It's projected to be double that[br]18 years from now!

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Of course, this is an ongoing conversation[br]that you'll be having for many years,

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but it's important to weigh the financial[br]impact of these choices as early as possible.

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Number 5

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What are your financial goals[br]in order of priority?

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Sharing your financial goals with[br]each other can actually be kinda fun!

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But in our experience, taking on[br]too many goals at once

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can make it less likely[br]you'll achieve any of them.

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If one of you is focused[br]on buying a house,

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and the other on starting a business,[br]neither of you may get very far.

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But if you join forces and agree [br]on what to tackle first,

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both of you will get where [br]you want to be faster.

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A 2015 study asked couples for their best[br]piece of financial advice for newlyweds.

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The top two suggestions were to save[br]as early as possible for retirement

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and to make all[br]financial decisions together.

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Not all of these conversations will result[br]in firm agreements, but when they do,

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make sure to write them down in a sort of[br]Financial Constitution and then sign it!

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It might sound [br]unromantic,

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but it's all too easy [br]for two people

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to remember the same[br]conversation differently!

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And you can always jointly [br]decide to amend your constitution!

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It's not set in stone.

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Of course, [br]if you're already married,

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you may have skipped over a few[br]of these questions - but take heart!

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It's never too late to bring them up[br]and turn a fresh page.

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And that's our two cents!