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RACE: The Final Frontier

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no matter what channel you watch

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no matter what feed you aggregate

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it seems like everybody everywhere is talking about race right now

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and when everybody everywhere is talking about race

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that means sooner or later

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you're gonna have to tell somebody that they said something that sounded racist.

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So you need to be ready and have a plan in place

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for how to approach the inevitable "that sounded racist" conversation

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And I'm going to tell you how to do that.

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The most important thing that you've got to do

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is remember the difference between the What They Did conversation

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and the What They Are conversation.

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Those are two totally different conversations

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and you need to make sure that you pick the right one.

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The What-They-Did conversation focuses strictly on the person's words and actions

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and explaining why what they did and what they said was unacceptable.

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This is also known as the That Thing You Said Was Racist conversation

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and that's the conversation that you wanna have.

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The What They Are conversation on the other hand

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takes things one step further

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and uses what they did and what they said to draw conclusions about what kind of person they are.

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This is also known as the I Think You Are A Racist conversation.

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This is the conversation you don't wanna have.

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Because that conversation takes us away from the facts of what they did

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into speculation about what their motives and intentions

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and those are things you can only guess at

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you can't ever prove

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and that makes it way too easy for them to de-rail your whole argument.

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And that is the part that's crucial to understand.

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When you say "I think he's a racist"

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that's not a bad move because you might be wrong

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that's a bad move because you might be right

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because if that dude really is racist

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you wanna make sure you hold him accounable and don't let him off easy

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And even though intuitively it feels like the hardest way to hit him is just run up on him

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and say "I think your ass is racist",

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when you handle it that way, you're actually letting him off easy

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because you're setting up a conversation that's way too simple for him to derail and duck out of.

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Just think about how this plays out every time a politician or a celebrity gets caught out there

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It always starts out as a What They Did conversation

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but as soon as the celebrity and their defenders get on camera

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they start doing Judo flips and switching it into a What They Are conversation

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"I have known this person for years and I know for a fact that they are not a racist,

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and how dare you claim to know what's inside their soul just because they made one little joke

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about watermelon tap-dancing and going back to Africa!"

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And then you try to explain that we don't need to see inside their soul

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to know that they shouldn't have said all that about the watermelon

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and you try to focus on the facts of the situation

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but by then it's too late

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because the What They Are conversation is a rhetorical Bermuda Triangle

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where everything drowns in a sea of empty posturing

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until somebody just blames it all on hip-hop

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and we forget the whole thing ever happened.

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Don't let this happen to you.

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When somebody picks my pocket

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I'm not going to be chasing them down so I can figure out whether he feels like he's a thief

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deep down in his heart.

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I'm gonna be chasing him down so I can get my wallet back.

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I don't care what he is

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but I need to hold him accountable for what he did

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and that's how we need to approach these conversations about race.

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Treat them like they took your wallet

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and focus on the part that matters:

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holding each person accountable for the impact of their words and actions.

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I don't care what you are.

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I care about what you did.