WEBVTT

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One of my favorite words in the whole
of the Oxford English Dictionary

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is "snollygoster,"

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just because it sounds so good.

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And what snollygoster means
is "a dishonest politician."

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Although there was a 19th-century
newspaper editor

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who defined it rather better when he said,

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"A snollygoster is a fellow
who seeks office

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regardless of party,
platform or principle,

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and who, when he wins,

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gets there by the sheer force
of monumental talknophical assumnancy."

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(Laughter)

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Now, I have no idea
what "talknophical" is.

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Something to do with words, I assume.

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But it's very important that words
are at the center of politics,

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and all politicians know
they have to try and control language.

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It wasn't until, for example, 1771

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that the British Parliament
allowed newspapers to report

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the exact words that were said
in the debating chamber.

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And this was actually
all down to the bravery

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of a guy with the extraordinary
name of Brass Crosby,

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who took on Parliament.

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And he was thrown into the Tower of London

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and imprisoned,

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but he was brave enough,

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he was brave enough
to take them on, and in the end,

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he had such popular support
in London that he won.

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And it was only a few years later

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that we have the first recorded use
of the phrase "as bold as brass."

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Most people think
that's down to the metal.

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It's not; it's down to a campaigner
for the freedom of the press.

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But to really show you
how words and politics interact,

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I want to take you back
to the United States of America,

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just after they'd achieved independence.

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And they had to face the question

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of what to call
George Washington, their leader.

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They didn't know.

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What do you call the leader
of a republican country?

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And this was debated
in Congress for ages and ages.

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And there were all sorts
of suggestions on the table,

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which might have made it.

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I mean, some people
wanted him to be called

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"Chief Magistrate Washington,"

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and other people,
"His Highness, George Washington,"

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and other people,

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"Protector of the Liberties

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of the People of the United States
of America Washington."

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Not that catchy.

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Some people just wanted
to call him king --

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it was tried and tested.

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They weren't even being monarchical,

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they had the idea that you could
be elected king for a fixed term.

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And, you know, it could have worked.

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And everybody got insanely bored,

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because this debate
went on for three weeks.

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I read a diary of this poor senator
who just keeps coming back,

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"Still on this subject."

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And the reason for the delay
and the boredom

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was that the House of Representatives
were against the Senate.

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The House of Representatives didn't want
Washington to get drunk on power.

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They didn't want to call him "king,"
in case that gave him ideas,

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or his successor ideas.

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So they wanted to give him
the humblest, meagerest,

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most pathetic title
that they could think of.

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And that title ...

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was "President."

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(Laughter)

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"President." They didn't invent the title.

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I mean, it existed before,

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but it just meant somebody
who presides over a meeting.

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It was like the foreman of the jury.

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And it didn't have much more grandeur

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than the term "foreman" or "overseer."

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There were occasional presidents
of little colonial councils

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and bits of government,

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but it was really a nothing title.

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And that's why the Senate objected to it.

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They said, "That's ridiculous!
You can't call him 'President.'

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This guy has to go and sign treaties
and meet foreign dignitaries.

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Who's going to take him seriously
if he's got a silly little title

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like 'President of the United
States of America'?"

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(Laughter)

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And after three weeks
of debate, in the end,

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the Senate did not cave in.

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Instead, they agreed to use
the title "President" for now.

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But they also wanted
it absolutely set down

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that they didn't agree with it,

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from a decent respect for the opinions
and practice of civilized nations,

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whether under republican
or monarchical forms of government,

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whose custom it is to annex,

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through the office
of the Chief Magistrate,

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titles of respectability --

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not bloody "President."

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And that, in the intercourse
with foreign nations,

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the majesty of the people
of the United States

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may not be hazarded
by an appearance of singularity --

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i.e., we don't want to look
like bloody weirdos.

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Now, you can learn
three interesting things from this.

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First of all -- and this is my favorite --

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is that, so far as I've ever
been able to find out,

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the Senate has never formally
endorsed the title of President.

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Barack Obama, President Obama,
is there on borrowed time,

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just waiting for the Senate
to spring into action.

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(Laughter)

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The second thing you can learn

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is that, when a government says
that this is a temporary measure --

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(Laughter)

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you can still be waiting 223 years later.

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But the third thing you can learn --
and this is the really important one,

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the point I want to leave you on --

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is that the title, "President
of the United States of America,"

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doesn't sound that humble
at all these days, does it?

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Something to do
with the slightly over 5,000

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nuclear warheads he has at his disposal

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and the largest economy in the world

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and a fleet of drones
and all that sort of stuff.

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Reality and history
have endowed that title with grandeur.

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And so the Senate won in the end.

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They got their title of respectability.

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And also, the Senate's other worry,
the appearance of singularity --

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well, it was a singularity back then.

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But now, do you know
how many nations have a president?

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A hundred and forty-seven.

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All because they want
to sound like the guy

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who's got the 5,000 nuclear warheads, etc.

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And so, in the end, the Senate won

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and the House of Representatives lost ...

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because nobody's going to feel that humble

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when they're told that they are now

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the President of the United
States of America.

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And that's the important lesson
I think you can take away,

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and the one I want to leave you with.

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Politicians try to pick and use words
to shape and control reality,

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but in fact,

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reality changes words far more
than words can ever change reality.

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Thank you very much.