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00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:02,376
When I was six years old,

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00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:03,640
I received my gifts.

3
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,776
My first grade teacher
had this brilliant idea.

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00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,136
She wanted us to experience
receiving gifts

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00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:15,160
but also learning the virtue
of complimenting each other.

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00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,536
So she had all of us
come to the front of the classroom,

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00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,536
and she bought all of us gifts
and stacked them in the corner.

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00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:22,776
And she said,

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00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,456
"Why don't we just stand here
and compliment each other?

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00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,056
If you hear your name called,

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00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,280
go and pick up your gift and sit down."

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00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,000
What a wonderful idea, right?

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00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,096
What could go wrong?

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00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:35,640
(Laughter)

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00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,456
Well, there were 40 of us to start with,

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00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:40,936
and every time I heard
someone's name called,

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00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,760
I would give out the heartiest cheer.

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00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,776
And then there were 20 people left,

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00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,576
and 10 people left,

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00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:48,960
and five left ...

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00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:50,936
and three left.

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And I was one of them.

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00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,320
And the compliments stopped.

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Well, at that moment, I was crying.

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00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,616
And the teacher was freaking out.

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00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,296
She was like, "Hey, would anyone
say anything nice about these people?"

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00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:05,536
(Laughter)

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00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,536
"No one? OK, why don't you
go get your gift and sit down.

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00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:09,816
So behave next year --

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00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,936
someone might say
something nice about you."

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00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,720
(Laughter)

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00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,136
Well, as I'm describing this you,

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00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,536
you probably know
I remember this really well.

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00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,160
(Laughter)

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00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,896
But I don't know who felt worse that day.

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00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,096
Was it me or the teacher?

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00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,256
She must have realized
that she turned a team-building event

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00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,080
into a public roast
for three six-year-olds.

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00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,056
And without the humor.

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00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,416
You know, when you see
people get roasted on TV,

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00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,656
it was funny.

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00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,538
There was nothing funny about that day.

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So that was one version of me,

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00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,856
and I would die to avoid
being in that situation again --

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00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,760
to get rejected in public again.

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00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,896
That's one version.

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00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,376
Then fast-forward eight years.

48
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,376
Bill Gates came to my hometown --

49
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,616
Beijing, China --

50
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,856
to speak,

51
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,616
and I saw his message.

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00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,936
I fell in love with that guy.

53
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,856
I thought, wow,
I know what I want to do now.

54
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,016
That night I wrote a letter to my family

55
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,336
telling them: "By age 25,

56
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,976
I will build the biggest
company in the world,

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00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,936
and that company will buy Microsoft."

58
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,856
(Laughter)

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00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,496
I totally embraced this idea
of conquering the world --

60
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,720
domination, right?

61
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,976
And I didn't make this up,
I did write that letter.

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00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,336
And here it is --

63
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,336
(Laughter)

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00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,176
You don't have to read this through --

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00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,976
(Laughter)

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00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,240
This is also bad handwriting,
but I did highlight some key words.

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00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,816
You get the idea.

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00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,616
(Laughter)

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00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,840
So ...

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00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,296
that was another version of me:

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00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,000
one who will conquer the world.

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00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,336
Well, then two years later,

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00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:49,296
I was presented with the opportunity
to come to the United States.

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00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:50,896
I jumped on it,

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00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,136
because that was
where Bill Gates lived, right?

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00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,376
(Laughter)

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00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,040
I thought that was the start
of my entrepreneur journey.

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00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,856
Then, fast-forward another 14 years.

79
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,296
I was 30.

80
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,696
Nope, I didn't build that company.

81
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,256
I didn't even start.

82
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:09,256
I was actually a marketing manager
for a Fortune 500 company.

83
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:10,896
And I felt I was stuck;

84
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I was stagnant.

85
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,296
Why is that?

86
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,560
Where is that 14-year-old
who wrote that letter?

87
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:18,957
It's not because he didn't try.

88
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,536
It's because every time I had a new idea,

89
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,536
every time I wanted to try something new,

90
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,776
even at work --

91
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,536
I wanted to make a proposal,

92
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:31,096
I wanted to speak up
in front of people in a group --

93
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,936
I felt there was this constant battle

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00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,736
between the 14-year-old
and the six-year-old.

95
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,896
One wanted to conquer the world --

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00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,136
make a difference --

97
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,280
another was afraid of rejection.

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00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,480
And every time that six-year-old won.

99
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,736
And this fear even persisted
after I started my own company.

100
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,896
I mean, I started
my own company when I was 30 --

101
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,336
if you want to be Bill Gates,

102
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,400
you've got to start
sooner or later, right?

103
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,616
When I was an entrepreneur,

104
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,536
I was presented
with an investment opportunity,

105
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,360
and then I was turned down.

106
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,776
And that rejection hurt me.

107
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,400
It hurt me so bad
that I wanted to quit right there.

108
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,496
But then I thought,

109
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,360
hey, would Bill Gates quit
after a simple investment rejection?

110
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,776
Would any successful
entrepreneur quit like that?

111
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,176
No way.

112
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,176
And this is where it clicked for me.

113
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OK, I can build a better company.

114
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,256
I can build a better
team or better product,

115
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:28,816
but one thing for sure:

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I've got to be a better leader.

117
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I've got to be a better person.

118
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I cannot let that six-year-old
keep dictating my life anymore.

119
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I have to put him back in his place.

120
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,416
So this is where I went online
and looked for help.

121
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,696
Google was my friend.

122
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:43,856
(Laughter)

123
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,440
I searched, "How do I overcome
the fear of rejection?"

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00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,816
I came up with a bunch
of psychology articles

125
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,696
about where the fear
and pain are coming from.

126
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,016
Then I came up with a bunch
of "rah-rah" inspirational articles

127
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,421
about "Don't take it personally,
just overcome it."

128
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,856
Who doesn't know that?

129
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,456
(Laughter)

130
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,616
But why was I still so scared?

131
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,656
Then I found this website by luck.

132
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,056
It's called rejectiontherapy.com.

133
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,616
(Laughter)

134
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,576
"Rejection Therapy" was this game
invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.

135
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,296
His name is Jason Comely.

136
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:22,416
And basically the idea is for 30 days
you go out and look for rejection,

137
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,696
and every day get rejected at something,

138
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:28,240
and then by the end,
you desensitize yourself from the pain.

139
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And I loved that idea.

140
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,456
(Laughter)

141
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,616
I said, "You know what?
I'm going to do this.

142
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,656
And I'll feel myself
getting rejected 100 days."

143
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,096
And I came up with my own rejection ideas,

144
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,600
and I made a video blog out of it.

145
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,536
And so here's what I did.

146
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,176
This is what the blog looked like.

147
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,400
Day One ...

148
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,296
(Laughter)

149
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,560
Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.

150
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,456
So this is where I went
to where I was working.

151
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I came downstairs

152
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,456
and I saw this big guy
sitting behind a desk.

153
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,216
He looked like a security guard.

154
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,776
So I just approached him.

155
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,536
And I was just walking

156
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,896
and that was the longest
walk of my life --

157
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,056
hair on the back
of my neck standing up,

158
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,536
I was sweating and my heart was pounding.

159
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,776
And I got there and said,

160
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,456
"Hey, sir, can I borrow
100 dollars from you?"

161
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,816
(Laughter)

162
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,640
And he looked up, he's like, "No."

163
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,840
"Why?"

164
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,496
And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."

165
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,235
Then I turned around,
and I just ran.

166
00:06:28,259 --> 00:06:29,619
(Laughter)

167
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,696
I felt so embarrassed.

168
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,176
But because I filmed myself --

169
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,336
so that night I was watching
myself getting rejected,

170
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,456
I just saw how scared I was.

171
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,936
I looked like this kid
in "The Sixth Sense."

172
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,376
I saw dead people.

173
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,016
(Laughter)

174
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,576
But then I saw this guy.

175
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,496
You know, he wasn't that menacing.

176
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,896
He was a chubby, loveable guy,

177
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,376
and he even asked me, "Why?"

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00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,816
In fact, he invited me to explain myself.

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00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,416
And I could've said many things.

180
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,736
I could've explained,
I could've negotiated.

181
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,200
I didn't do any of that.

182
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,200
All I did was run.

183
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,320
I felt, wow, this is like
the microcosm of my life.

184
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,456
Every time I felt the slightest rejection,

185
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,616
I would just run as fast as I could.

186
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:14,896
And you know what?

187
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,736
The next day, no matter what happens,

188
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,256
I'm not going to run.

189
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,480
I'll stay engaged.

190
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,136
Day Two: Request a "burger refill."

191
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,136
(Laughter)

192
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,456
It's when I went to a burger joint,

193
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,976
I finished lunch,
and I went to the cashier and said,

194
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,576
"Hi, can I get a burger refill?"

195
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,776
(Laughter)

196
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,256
He was all confused,
like, "What's a burger refill?"

197
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,536
(Laughter)

198
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:40,216
I said, "Well, it's just like
a drink refill but with a burger."

199
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,736
And he said, "Sorry,
we don't do burger refill, man."

200
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,096
(Laughter)

201
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:48,176
So this is where rejection happened
and I could have run, but I stayed.

202
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,336
I said, "Well, I love your burgers,

203
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:51,776
I love your joint,

204
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,896
and if you guys do a burger refill,

205
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,256
I will love you guys more."

206
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,536
(Laughter)

207
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,176
And he said, "Well, OK,
I'll tell my manager about it,

208
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,176
and maybe we'll do it,
but sorry, we can't do this today."

209
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,616
Then I left.

210
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,496
And by the way,

211
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,776
I don't think they've
ever done burger refill.

212
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,016
(Laughter)

213
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,600
I think they're still there.

214
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,456
But the life and death feeling
I was feeling the first time

215
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,816
was no longer there,

216
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,576
just because I stayed engaged --

217
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,216
because I didn't run.

218
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,600
I said, "Wow, great,
I'm already learning things.

219
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:23,736
Great."

220
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,960
And then Day Three:
Getting Olympic Doughnuts.

221
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,280
This is where my life
was turned upside down.

222
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,736
I went to a Krispy Kreme.

223
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,976
It's a doughnut shop

224
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,616
in mainly the Southeastern part
of the United States.

225
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,496
I'm sure they have some here, too.

226
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:38,775
And I went in,

227
00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:41,936
I said, "Can you make me doughnuts
that look like Olympic symbols?

228
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,856
Basically, you interlink
five doughnuts together ... "

229
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,120
I mean there's no way
they could say yes, right?

230
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,016
The doughnut maker took me so seriously.

231
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,256
(Laughter)

232
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,496
So she put out paper,

233
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,696
started jotting down
the colors and the rings,

234
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,736
and is like, "How can I make this?"

235
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,656
And then 15 minutes later,

236
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:02,096
she came out with a box
that looked like Olympic rings.

237
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,776
And I was so touched.

238
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,936
I just couldn't believe it.

239
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,720
And that video got
over five million views on Youtube.

240
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,536
The world couldn't believe that either.

241
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,080
(Laughter)

242
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,656
You know, because of that
I was in newspapers,

243
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,096
in talk shows, in everything.

244
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,616
And I became famous.

245
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,776
A lot of people
started writing emails to me

246
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,336
and saying, "What you're
doing is awesome."

247
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,896
But you know, fame and notoriety
did not do anything to me.

248
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,736
What I really wanted to do was learn,

249
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:32,976
and to change myself,

250
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,616
so I turned the rest
of my 100 days of rejection

251
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,536
into this playground --

252
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,696
into this research project.

253
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,800
I wanted to see what I could learn.

254
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,016
And then I learned a lot of things.

255
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,616
I discovered so many secrets.

256
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,536
For example, I found if I just don't run,

257
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,816
if I got rejected,

258
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,896
I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes,"

259
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,536
and the magic word is, "why."

260
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:57,656
So one day I went to a stranger's house,
I had this flower in my hand,

261
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,096
knocked on the door and said,

262
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,376
"Hey, can I plant this flower
in your backyard?"

263
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,936
(Laughter)

264
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,680
And he said, "No."

265
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,376
But before he could leave I said,

266
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,336
"Hey, can I know why?"

267
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,416
And he said, "Well, I have this dog

268
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,776
that would dig up
anything I put in the backyard.

269
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,456
I don't want to waste your flower.

270
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,656
If you want to do this,
go across the street and talk to Connie.

271
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,896
She loves flowers."

272
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,136
So that's what I did.

273
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,216
I went across and knocked
on Connie's door.

274
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,096
And she was so happy to see me.

275
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,816
(Laughter)

276
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,216
And then half an hour later,

277
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,296
there was this flower
in Connie's backyard.

278
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,736
I'm sure it looks better now.

279
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,056
(Laughter)

280
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,016
But had I left
after the initial rejection,

281
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,256
I would've thought,

282
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,336
well, it's because
the guy didn't trust me,

283
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,576
it's because I was crazy,

284
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,016
because I didn't dress up well,
I didn't look good.

285
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,256
It was none of those.

286
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,976
It was because what I offered
did not fit what he wanted.

287
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,256
And he trusted me enough
to offer me a referral,

288
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,936
using a sales term.

289
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,480
I converted a referral.

290
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:55,776
Then one day --

291
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,696
and I also learned that I can
actually say certain things

292
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,656
and maximize my chance to get a yes.

293
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:02,896
So for example,
one day I went to a Starbucks,

294
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,496
and asked the manager,
"Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"

295
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,896
He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"

296
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,016
I said, "Do you know
those Walmart greeters?

297
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,456
You know, those people who say
'hi' to you before you walk in the store,

298
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,696
and make sure you
don't steal stuff, basically?

299
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,856
I want to give a Walmart experience
to Starbucks customers."

300
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,336
(Laughter)

301
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,360
Well, I'm not sure
that's a good thing, actually --

302
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,096
Actually, I'm pretty sure
it's a bad thing.

303
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,176
And he was like, "Oh" --

304
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,456
yeah, this is how he looked,
his name is Eric --

305
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,056
and he was like, "I'm not sure."

306
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,136
This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."

307
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,816
Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"

308
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,880
He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."

309
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,656
But as soon as he said that,
his whole demeanor changed.

310
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,616
It's as if he's putting
all the doubt on the floor.

311
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,376
And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,

312
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,656
just don't get too weird."

313
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,096
(Laughter)

314
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,496
So for the next hour
I was the Starbucks greeter.

315
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,656
I said "hi" to every customer
that walked in,

316
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,056
and gave them holiday cheers.

317
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,736
By the way, I don't know
what your career trajectory is,

318
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,976
don't be a greeter.

319
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,216
(Laughter)

320
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,440
It was really boring.

321
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:10,136
But then I found I could do this
because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"

322
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,296
I mentioned the doubt that he was having.

323
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,856
And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?",
that means I wasn't weird.

324
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,416
That means I was actually
thinking just like him,

325
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,816
seeing this as a weird thing.

326
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,096
And again, and again,

327
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,256
I learned that if I mention
some doubt people might have

328
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,096
before I ask the question,

329
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,376
I gained their trust.

330
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,360
People were more likely to say yes to me.

331
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,136
And then I learned
I could fulfill my life dream ...

332
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,576
by asking.

333
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,696
You know, I came
from four generations of teachers,

334
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,536
and my grandma has always told me,

335
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,856
"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,

336
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,936
but it'd be great
if you became a teacher."

337
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,376
(Laughter)

338
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,656
But I wanted to be
an entrepreneur, so I didn't.

339
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,056
But it has always been my dream
to actually teach something.

340
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,896
So I said, "What if I just ask

341
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,536
and teach a college class?"

342
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,016
I lived in Austin at the time,

343
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,096
so I went to University
of Texas at Austin,

344
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,336
and knocked on professors' doors
and said, "Can I teach your class?"

345
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,856
I didn't get anywhere
the first couple of times.

346
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,376
But because I didn't run --
I kept doing it --

347
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,736
and on the third try
the professor was very impressed.

348
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,816
He was like, "No one
has done this before."

349
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,856
And I came in prepared
with powerpoints and my lesson.

350
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,936
He said, "Wow, I can use this.

351
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,296
Why don't you come back in two months?
I'll fit you in my curriculum."

352
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,416
And two months later
I was teaching a class.

353
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,696
This is me -- you probably can't see,
this is a bad picture.

354
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,496
You know, sometimes you get
rejected by lighting, you know?

355
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,720
(Laughter)

356
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,896
But wow --

357
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,656
when I finished teaching that class,
I walked out crying,

358
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,456
because I thought

359
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,776
I could fulfill my life dream
just by simply asking.

360
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,456
I used to think I have to accomplish
all these things --

361
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,096
have to be a great entrepreneur,
or get a PhD to teach --

362
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,656
but no, I just asked,

363
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,880
and I could teach.

364
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,776
And in that picture --
which you can't see --

365
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,096
I quoted Martin Luther King Jr.

366
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:03,656
Why? Because in my research I found
that people who really change the world,

367
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,616
who change the way we live
and the way we think,

368
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,736
are the people who were met
with initial and often violent rejections.

369
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,816
People like Martin Luther King Jr.,

370
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,896
like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,

371
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,456
or even Jesus Christ.

372
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,856
These people did not
let rejection define them.

373
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:24,040
They let their own reaction
after rejection define themselves.

374
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,480
And they embraced rejection.

375
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,576
And we don't have to be those people
to learn about rejection,

376
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,856
but in my case,

377
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,896
rejection was my curse --

378
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,176
was my boogeyman.

379
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,376
It has bothered me my whole life
because I was running away from it.

380
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,120
Then I started embracing it.

381
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,520
I turned that into
the biggest gift in my life.

382
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:49,776
I started teaching people
how to turn rejections into opportunities.

383
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,816
I use my blog, I use my talk,

384
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,736
I use the book I just published,

385
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,320
and I'm even using technology to help
people overcome their fear of rejection.

386
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,936
When you get rejected in life,

387
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,176
when you are facing the next obstacle,

388
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,216
or next failure,

389
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,056
consider the possibilities.

390
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,296
Don't run.

391
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,536
If you just embrace them,

392
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,640
they might become your gifts as well.

393
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,376
Thank you.

394
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,360
(Applause)