WEBVTT 00:00:00.946 --> 00:00:02.708 When I was six years old, 00:00:02.708 --> 00:00:04.168 I received my gifts. 00:00:04.546 --> 00:00:07.536 My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. 00:00:08.008 --> 00:00:11.403 She wanted us to experience receiving gifts, 00:00:11.403 --> 00:00:15.143 but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. 00:00:15.916 --> 00:00:18.742 So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom, 00:00:18.742 --> 00:00:20.251 and she bought all of us gifts, 00:00:20.251 --> 00:00:21.734 and stacked them in the corner. 00:00:21.734 --> 00:00:22.734 And she said, 00:00:22.734 --> 00:00:25.656 "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? 00:00:25.656 --> 00:00:27.434 If you hear your name called, 00:00:27.434 --> 00:00:30.020 go and pick up your gift and sit down." 00:00:30.779 --> 00:00:32.450 What a wonderful idea, right? 00:00:33.099 --> 00:00:34.408 What could go wrong? NOTE Paragraph 00:00:34.408 --> 00:00:35.630 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:36.689 --> 00:00:38.755 Well, there were 40 of us to start with, 00:00:38.755 --> 00:00:41.240 and every time I heard someone's name called, 00:00:41.240 --> 00:00:43.705 I would give out the heartiest cheer. 00:00:43.705 --> 00:00:46.077 And then there were 20 people left, 00:00:46.077 --> 00:00:47.934 and 10 people left, 00:00:47.934 --> 00:00:49.892 and five left ... 00:00:49.892 --> 00:00:51.264 and three left. 00:00:51.264 --> 00:00:52.500 And I was one of them. 00:00:52.863 --> 00:00:54.812 And the compliments stopped. 00:00:55.831 --> 00:00:58.438 Well, at that moment, I was crying. 00:00:58.851 --> 00:01:01.052 And the teacher was freaking out. 00:01:01.052 --> 00:01:04.729 She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?" NOTE Paragraph 00:01:04.729 --> 00:01:05.730 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:05.730 --> 00:01:06.726 "No one? 00:01:06.726 --> 00:01:09.170 OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down. 00:01:09.170 --> 00:01:10.282 So behave next year -- 00:01:10.282 --> 00:01:12.350 someone might say something nice about you." NOTE Paragraph 00:01:12.350 --> 00:01:13.726 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:14.744 --> 00:01:16.497 Well, as I'm describing this you, 00:01:16.497 --> 00:01:19.014 you probably know I remember this really well. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:19.014 --> 00:01:20.171 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:21.019 --> 00:01:23.176 But I don't know who felt worse that day. 00:01:23.176 --> 00:01:25.415 Was it me, or the teacher? 00:01:25.415 --> 00:01:28.564 She must have realized that she turned a [team-building] event 00:01:28.564 --> 00:01:31.634 into a public [roast] for three six-year-olds. 00:01:32.366 --> 00:01:33.743 And without the humor. 00:01:33.743 --> 00:01:36.109 You know, when you see people get [roasted] on TV, 00:01:36.109 --> 00:01:37.110 it was funny. 00:01:37.110 --> 00:01:39.296 There was nothing funny about that day. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:39.722 --> 00:01:42.669 So that was one version of me, 00:01:42.669 --> 00:01:46.285 and I would die to avoid being in that situation again -- 00:01:46.285 --> 00:01:48.221 to get rejected in public again. 00:01:48.596 --> 00:01:49.824 That's one version. 00:01:50.132 --> 00:01:52.589 Then fast-forward eight years. 00:01:52.601 --> 00:01:54.641 Bill Gates came to my hometown -- 00:01:54.641 --> 00:01:55.757 Beijing, China -- 00:01:55.757 --> 00:01:56.896 to speak, 00:01:56.896 --> 00:01:58.597 and I saw his message. 00:01:58.916 --> 00:02:01.089 I fell in love with that guy. 00:02:01.270 --> 00:02:04.259 I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now. 00:02:04.259 --> 00:02:06.390 That night I wrote a letter to my family 00:02:06.390 --> 00:02:08.670 telling them by age 25, 00:02:08.670 --> 00:02:11.282 I will build the biggest company in the world, 00:02:11.282 --> 00:02:13.246 and that company will buy Microsoft. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:13.246 --> 00:02:14.913 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:15.096 --> 00:02:17.671 I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world -- 00:02:17.671 --> 00:02:18.983 domination, right? 00:02:19.425 --> 00:02:21.178 And I didn't make this up, 00:02:21.178 --> 00:02:22.385 I did write that letter. 00:02:22.385 --> 00:02:23.668 And hear it is -- NOTE Paragraph 00:02:23.668 --> 00:02:24.717 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:25.728 --> 00:02:27.854 You don't have to read this through -- NOTE Paragraph 00:02:27.854 --> 00:02:29.239 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:29.239 --> 00:02:31.155 This is also bad handwriting, 00:02:31.155 --> 00:02:32.840 but I did highlight some key words. 00:02:33.822 --> 00:02:34.976 You get the idea. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:35.200 --> 00:02:36.530 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:36.940 --> 00:02:41.574 So, that was another version of me: 00:02:41.574 --> 00:02:43.684 one who will conquer the world. 00:02:44.121 --> 00:02:45.747 Well, then two years later, 00:02:45.747 --> 00:02:49.033 I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. 00:02:49.543 --> 00:02:51.182 I jumped on it, 00:02:51.182 --> 00:02:53.513 because that was where Bill Gates lived, right? NOTE Paragraph 00:02:53.513 --> 00:02:54.506 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:54.506 --> 00:02:57.429 I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey. 00:02:58.012 --> 00:03:00.100 Then, fast-forward another 14 years. 00:03:00.100 --> 00:03:01.613 I was 30. 00:03:01.613 --> 00:03:03.553 Nope, I didn't build that company. 00:03:03.953 --> 00:03:05.099 I didn't even start. 00:03:05.467 --> 00:03:09.096 I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:11.228 And I felt I was stuck; 00:03:11.228 --> 00:03:12.679 I was stagnant. 00:03:13.246 --> 00:03:14.272 Why is that? 00:03:14.272 --> 00:03:16.986 Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? 00:03:17.665 --> 00:03:19.266 It's not because he didn't try. 00:03:19.653 --> 00:03:22.830 It's because every time I had a new idea, 00:03:22.830 --> 00:03:24.803 every time I wanted to try something new, 00:03:24.803 --> 00:03:26.044 even at work -- 00:03:26.044 --> 00:03:27.858 I wanted to make a proposal, 00:03:27.858 --> 00:03:31.358 I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group -- 00:03:31.358 --> 00:03:33.197 I felt there was this constant battle 00:03:33.197 --> 00:03:35.888 between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. 00:03:36.115 --> 00:03:38.267 One wanted to conquer the world -- 00:03:38.267 --> 00:03:39.506 make a difference -- 00:03:39.506 --> 00:03:41.882 another was afraid of rejection. 00:03:42.156 --> 00:03:44.812 And every time that six-year-old won. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:45.898 --> 00:03:49.498 And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. 00:03:50.061 --> 00:03:53.121 I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 -- 00:03:53.121 --> 00:03:54.529 if you want to be Bill Gates, 00:03:54.529 --> 00:03:56.548 you've got to start sooner or later, right? NOTE Paragraph 00:03:56.548 --> 00:03:57.545 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:57.545 --> 00:04:00.023 When I was an entrepreneur, 00:04:00.023 --> 00:04:02.798 I was presented with an investment opportunity, 00:04:02.798 --> 00:04:04.738 and then I was turned down. 00:04:05.282 --> 00:04:06.688 And that rejection hurt me. 00:04:07.065 --> 00:04:10.797 It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. 00:04:11.427 --> 00:04:12.431 But then I thought, 00:04:12.431 --> 00:04:17.201 hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? 00:04:17.201 --> 00:04:20.101 Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? 00:04:20.101 --> 00:04:21.512 No way. 00:04:21.512 --> 00:04:23.544 And this is where it clicked for me. 00:04:23.544 --> 00:04:25.387 OK, I can build a better company. 00:04:25.387 --> 00:04:27.661 I can build a better team or better product, 00:04:27.661 --> 00:04:29.190 but one thing for sure: 00:04:29.190 --> 00:04:31.035 I've got to be a better leader. 00:04:31.035 --> 00:04:33.059 I've got to be a better person. 00:04:33.059 --> 00:04:36.259 I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. 00:04:36.259 --> 00:04:38.672 I have to put him back to his place. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:39.095 --> 00:04:41.480 So this is where I went online and looked for help. 00:04:41.480 --> 00:04:42.878 Google was my friend. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:42.878 --> 00:04:43.881 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:43.881 --> 00:04:46.604 I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?" 00:04:47.189 --> 00:04:49.990 I came up with a bunch of psychology articles 00:04:49.990 --> 00:04:52.396 about where the fear and pain are coming from. 00:04:52.984 --> 00:04:56.352 Then I came up with a bunch of "Ra-ra" inspirational articles 00:04:56.352 --> 00:04:58.931 about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it." 00:04:59.393 --> 00:05:00.994 Who doesn't know that? NOTE Paragraph 00:05:01.006 --> 00:05:02.444 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:02.766 --> 00:05:04.566 But why was I still so scared? 00:05:04.958 --> 00:05:06.970 Then I found this website by luck. 00:05:06.970 --> 00:05:08.972 It's called rejectiontherapy.com. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:09.565 --> 00:05:10.850 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:12.001 --> 00:05:15.935 Rejection Therapy was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. 00:05:15.935 --> 00:05:17.635 His name is Jason Comely. 00:05:17.635 --> 00:05:22.580 And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, 00:05:22.580 --> 00:05:25.092 and every day get rejected at something, 00:05:25.092 --> 00:05:26.307 and then by the end, 00:05:26.307 --> 00:05:28.978 you desensitize yourself from the pain. 00:05:29.514 --> 00:05:31.304 And I loved that idea. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:31.304 --> 00:05:32.712 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:32.712 --> 00:05:33.934 I said, "You know what? 00:05:33.934 --> 00:05:35.200 I'm going to do this. 00:05:35.200 --> 00:05:37.958 And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." 00:05:37.958 --> 00:05:40.508 And I came up with my own rejection ideas, 00:05:40.508 --> 00:05:43.277 and I will make a video blog out of it. 00:05:43.761 --> 00:05:45.609 And so here's what I did. 00:05:45.879 --> 00:05:47.962 This is what the blog looked like. 00:05:48.523 --> 00:05:50.692 Day One ... NOTE Paragraph 00:05:50.692 --> 00:05:51.689 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:51.689 --> 00:05:55.127 Borrow $100 from a Stanger. 00:05:55.993 --> 00:05:58.794 So this is where I went to where I was working. 00:05:58.794 --> 00:06:00.604 I came downstairs 00:06:00.604 --> 00:06:02.743 and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk, 00:06:02.743 --> 00:06:04.577 he looked like a security guard. 00:06:04.577 --> 00:06:06.150 So I just approach him. 00:06:06.150 --> 00:06:08.315 And I was just walking in -- 00:06:08.315 --> 00:06:10.586 that was the longest walk of my life -- 00:06:10.586 --> 00:06:12.711 just hair on the back of my neck standing up, 00:06:12.711 --> 00:06:15.071 I was sweating and my heart was pounding, 00:06:15.071 --> 00:06:16.285 and I got there and said, 00:06:16.285 --> 00:06:18.946 "Hey, sir, can I borrow $100 from you?" NOTE Paragraph 00:06:18.946 --> 00:06:20.277 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:20.277 --> 00:06:21.276 And he looked up, 00:06:21.276 --> 00:06:22.340 he's like, "No." NOTE Paragraph 00:06:22.340 --> 00:06:23.340 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:23.340 --> 00:06:24.285 "Why?" 00:06:24.530 --> 00:06:26.163 And I just said, "No? 00:06:26.163 --> 00:06:27.160 I'm sorry." 00:06:27.160 --> 00:06:28.923 Then I turned around and I just ran. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:28.923 --> 00:06:29.915 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:31.202 --> 00:06:33.063 I felt so embarrassed. 00:06:33.063 --> 00:06:34.529 But because I filmed myself -- 00:06:34.529 --> 00:06:37.699 so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, 00:06:37.699 --> 00:06:39.424 I just saw how scared I was. 00:06:39.688 --> 00:06:42.247 I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." 00:06:42.247 --> 00:06:43.653 I saw dead people. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:43.653 --> 00:06:44.877 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:45.321 --> 00:06:46.892 But then I saw this guy. 00:06:46.892 --> 00:06:48.910 You know, he wasn't that menacing. 00:06:48.910 --> 00:06:51.251 He was a chubby, loveable guy, 00:06:51.251 --> 00:06:54.609 and he even asked me, "Why?" 00:06:54.609 --> 00:06:56.724 In fact, he invited me to explain myself. 00:06:57.045 --> 00:06:58.572 I could've said many things. 00:06:58.572 --> 00:06:59.600 I could've explained, 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:01.062 I could've negotiated. 00:07:01.062 --> 00:07:02.765 I didn't do any of that. 00:07:02.903 --> 00:07:04.640 All I did was run. 00:07:05.231 --> 00:07:08.654 I felt, wow, this is like the microcosm of my life. 00:07:09.203 --> 00:07:11.771 Every time I felt the slightest rejection, 00:07:11.771 --> 00:07:14.082 I would just run as fast as I could. 00:07:14.082 --> 00:07:15.083 And you know what? 00:07:15.083 --> 00:07:16.079 The next day, 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:17.202 no matter what happens, 00:07:17.202 --> 00:07:18.572 I'm not going to run. 00:07:18.572 --> 00:07:19.814 I'll stay engaged. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:20.272 --> 00:07:22.237 Day Two: Request a "Burger Refill." NOTE Paragraph 00:07:22.565 --> 00:07:23.967 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:24.424 --> 00:07:26.488 It's when I went to a burger joint, 00:07:26.488 --> 00:07:27.593 I finished lunch, 00:07:27.593 --> 00:07:29.336 and I went to the cashier and said, 00:07:29.336 --> 00:07:30.999 "Hi, can I get a burger refill?" NOTE Paragraph 00:07:30.999 --> 00:07:32.206 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:32.862 --> 00:07:34.144 And he was all confused, 00:07:34.144 --> 00:07:35.621 like, "What's a burger refill?" NOTE Paragraph 00:07:35.621 --> 00:07:36.617 (Laughter) 00:07:36.617 --> 00:07:39.654 I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger." NOTE Paragraph 00:07:39.654 --> 00:07:40.649 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:40.649 --> 00:07:43.200 And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man." NOTE Paragraph 00:07:43.200 --> 00:07:44.284 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:44.284 --> 00:07:47.295 So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, 00:07:47.295 --> 00:07:48.546 but I stayed. 00:07:48.546 --> 00:07:50.816 I said, "Well, I love your burgers, 00:07:50.816 --> 00:07:52.248 I love your joint, 00:07:52.248 --> 00:07:54.240 and if you guys do a burger refill, 00:07:54.240 --> 00:07:55.760 I will love you guys more." NOTE Paragraph 00:07:55.760 --> 00:07:56.755 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:56.755 --> 00:07:59.590 And he said, "Well, ok, I'll tell my manager about it, 00:07:59.590 --> 00:08:00.673 and maybe we'll do it, 00:08:00.673 --> 00:08:02.550 but sorry we can't do this today." 00:08:02.550 --> 00:08:04.004 Then I left. 00:08:04.004 --> 00:08:05.842 And by the way, 00:08:05.842 --> 00:08:08.048 I don't think they've ever done burger refill. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:08.048 --> 00:08:09.191 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:09.191 --> 00:08:10.600 I think they're still there. 00:08:11.590 --> 00:08:14.851 But, the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time 00:08:14.851 --> 00:08:16.169 was no longer there, 00:08:16.169 --> 00:08:17.959 just because I stayed engaged -- 00:08:17.959 --> 00:08:19.569 because I didn't run. 00:08:19.569 --> 00:08:20.733 I said, "Wow, great, 00:08:20.733 --> 00:08:22.683 I'm already learning things. 00:08:22.683 --> 00:08:23.681 Great." NOTE Paragraph 00:08:23.681 --> 00:08:25.872 And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. 00:08:27.025 --> 00:08:29.996 This is where my life was turned upside down. 00:08:30.455 --> 00:08:31.907 I went to a Krispy Kreme. 00:08:31.907 --> 00:08:35.457 It's a doughnut shop in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. 00:08:35.857 --> 00:08:37.874 I'm sure they have some here, too. 00:08:37.874 --> 00:08:38.911 And I went in, 00:08:38.911 --> 00:08:42.051 I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? 00:08:42.051 --> 00:08:44.631 Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... " NOTE Paragraph 00:08:44.631 --> 00:08:45.631 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:45.631 --> 00:08:47.881 I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? 00:08:47.881 --> 00:08:49.999 The doughnut maker took me so seriously. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:50.387 --> 00:08:51.413 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:51.413 --> 00:08:52.465 So she put out paper, 00:08:52.465 --> 00:08:55.121 started jotting down the colors and the rings, 00:08:55.121 --> 00:08:57.143 and is like, "How can I make this?" 00:08:57.143 --> 00:08:58.970 And then 15 minutes later, 00:08:58.970 --> 00:09:01.601 she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:01.601 --> 00:09:02.601 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:02.601 --> 00:09:04.197 And I was so touched. 00:09:04.197 --> 00:09:06.392 I just couldn't believe it. 00:09:06.392 --> 00:09:09.704 And that video got over five million views on Youtube. 00:09:10.743 --> 00:09:12.665 The world couldn't believe that either. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:12.665 --> 00:09:14.110 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:15.931 --> 00:09:19.006 And because of that I was in newspapers, 00:09:19.006 --> 00:09:20.011 in talk shows, 00:09:20.011 --> 00:09:21.013 in everything. 00:09:21.013 --> 00:09:22.143 And I became famous. 00:09:22.143 --> 00:09:24.283 A lot of people started writing emails to me, 00:09:24.283 --> 00:09:26.655 and saying, "What you're doing is awesome." 00:09:26.655 --> 00:09:30.305 But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. 00:09:30.305 --> 00:09:32.105 What I really wanted to do was learn, 00:09:32.105 --> 00:09:33.435 and to change myself, 00:09:33.435 --> 00:09:35.851 so I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection 00:09:35.851 --> 00:09:37.959 into this playground -- 00:09:37.959 --> 00:09:39.935 into this research project. 00:09:39.935 --> 00:09:42.097 I wanted to see what I could learn. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:42.455 --> 00:09:44.392 And then I learned a lot of things. 00:09:44.392 --> 00:09:45.893 I discovered so many secrets. 00:09:45.893 --> 00:09:46.893 For example, 00:09:46.893 --> 00:09:48.873 I found if I just don't run, 00:09:48.873 --> 00:09:49.987 if I got rejected, 00:09:49.987 --> 00:09:52.000 I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:53.795 and the magic word is, "why." 00:09:53.795 --> 00:09:56.080 So one day I went to a stranger's house, 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:57.472 I had this flower in my hand, 00:09:57.472 --> 00:09:58.465 and I said -- 00:09:58.465 --> 00:10:02.151 knocked on the door and said, "Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?" NOTE Paragraph 00:10:02.151 --> 00:10:03.154 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:03.154 --> 00:10:05.217 And he said, "No." 00:10:05.817 --> 00:10:07.774 But before he could leave I said, 00:10:07.774 --> 00:10:09.642 "Hey, can I know why?" 00:10:09.642 --> 00:10:12.687 And he said, "Well, I have this dog 00:10:12.687 --> 00:10:15.029 that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. 00:10:15.029 --> 00:10:16.655 I don't want to waste your flower. 00:10:16.655 --> 00:10:17.761 If you want to do this, 00:10:17.761 --> 00:10:19.669 go across the street and talk to Connie. 00:10:19.669 --> 00:10:20.681 She loves flowers." NOTE Paragraph 00:10:20.681 --> 00:10:21.682 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:21.682 --> 00:10:22.709 So that's what I did. 00:10:22.709 --> 00:10:24.752 I went across and knocked on Connie's door. 00:10:24.752 --> 00:10:26.542 And she was so happy to see me. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:26.542 --> 00:10:27.901 (Laughter) 00:10:28.086 --> 00:10:29.485 And then half an hour later, 00:10:29.485 --> 00:10:31.511 there was this flower in Connie's backyard. 00:10:31.511 --> 00:10:32.894 I'm sure it looks better now. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:32.894 --> 00:10:33.892 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:34.438 --> 00:10:37.262 But had I left after the initial rejection, 00:10:37.262 --> 00:10:38.280 I would've thought, 00:10:38.280 --> 00:10:40.332 well, it's because the guy didn't trust me, 00:10:40.332 --> 00:10:41.536 it's because I was crazy, 00:10:41.536 --> 00:10:43.163 because I didn't dress up well -- 00:10:43.163 --> 00:10:44.160 I didn't look good. 00:10:44.160 --> 00:10:45.197 It was none of those. 00:10:45.197 --> 00:10:48.139 It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. 00:10:48.139 --> 00:10:50.532 And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral -- 00:10:50.532 --> 00:10:51.936 using a sales term -- NOTE Paragraph 00:10:51.936 --> 00:10:52.936 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:52.936 --> 00:10:54.505 I converted a referral. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:54.779 --> 00:10:55.779 Then one day -- 00:10:55.779 --> 00:10:58.959 and I also learned that I can actually say certain things 00:10:58.959 --> 00:11:01.024 and maximize my chance to get a yes. 00:11:01.024 --> 00:11:02.024 So for example, 00:11:02.024 --> 00:11:03.484 one day I went to a Starbucks, 00:11:03.484 --> 00:11:04.674 and asked the manager, 00:11:04.674 --> 00:11:06.846 "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?" 00:11:06.846 --> 00:11:08.902 He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?" NOTE Paragraph 00:11:08.902 --> 00:11:09.898 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:09.898 --> 00:11:11.962 I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters? 00:11:11.962 --> 00:11:15.307 You know those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, 00:11:15.307 --> 00:11:17.668 and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? 00:11:17.668 --> 00:11:20.524 I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers." NOTE Paragraph 00:11:20.524 --> 00:11:21.729 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:21.729 --> 00:11:24.529 Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually -- NOTE Paragraph 00:11:24.529 --> 00:11:25.527 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:25.708 --> 00:11:27.771 Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:27.771 --> 00:11:28.771 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:28.771 --> 00:11:30.604 And he was like, "Oh" -- 00:11:30.604 --> 00:11:31.938 yeah, this is how he looked, 00:11:31.938 --> 00:11:32.940 his name is Eric -- 00:11:32.940 --> 00:11:34.571 and he was like, "I'm not sure." 00:11:34.571 --> 00:11:36.067 This is how he was hearing me. 00:11:36.067 --> 00:11:37.068 "Not sure." 00:11:37.068 --> 00:11:38.625 Then I ask him, "Is that weird?" 00:11:38.625 --> 00:11:40.653 He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man." NOTE Paragraph 00:11:40.653 --> 00:11:41.651 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:41.651 --> 00:11:44.240 But as soon as he said that his whole demeanor changed. 00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:46.944 It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. 00:11:46.944 --> 00:11:48.674 And he said, "Yeah, you can do this, 00:11:48.674 --> 00:11:50.052 just don't get too weird." NOTE Paragraph 00:11:50.052 --> 00:11:51.045 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:51.339 --> 00:11:53.874 So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter. 00:11:53.874 --> 00:11:55.978 I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, 00:11:55.978 --> 00:11:57.840 and gave them holiday cheers. 00:11:58.221 --> 00:11:59.224 By the way, 00:11:59.224 --> 00:12:01.316 I don't know what your career trajectory is, 00:12:01.316 --> 00:12:02.321 don't be a greeter. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:02.321 --> 00:12:03.317 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:12:03.317 --> 00:12:04.603 It was really boring. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:05.539 --> 00:12:09.112 But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, 00:12:09.112 --> 00:12:10.440 "Is that weird?" 00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:12.751 I mentioned the doubt that he was having. 00:12:12.751 --> 00:12:16.212 And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?" that means I wasn't weird. 00:12:16.212 --> 00:12:18.756 That means I was actually thinking just like him, 00:12:18.756 --> 00:12:20.729 seeing this as a weird thing. 00:12:21.078 --> 00:12:22.360 And again, and again, 00:12:22.360 --> 00:12:25.544 I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have 00:12:25.544 --> 00:12:27.449 before I ask the question, 00:12:27.449 --> 00:12:28.703 I gained their trust. 00:12:28.703 --> 00:12:31.151 People were more likely to say yes to me. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:31.151 --> 00:12:34.366 And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ... 00:12:34.366 --> 00:12:35.785 by asking. 00:12:36.124 --> 00:12:39.020 I came from four generations of teachers, 00:12:39.020 --> 00:12:41.879 and my grandma has always told me, 00:12:41.879 --> 00:12:44.267 "Hey Jia, you can do anything you want, 00:12:44.267 --> 00:12:46.370 but you'd be great if you become a teacher." NOTE Paragraph 00:12:46.370 --> 00:12:47.373 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:12:47.522 --> 00:12:49.203 But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, 00:12:49.203 --> 00:12:50.200 so I didn't. 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:53.270 But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. 00:12:53.270 --> 00:12:55.233 So I said, "What if I just ask, 00:12:55.233 --> 00:12:57.294 and teach a college class?" 00:12:57.709 --> 00:12:59.262 I lived in Austin at the time, 00:12:59.262 --> 00:13:01.268 so I went to University of Texas in Austin, 00:13:01.268 --> 00:13:02.810 and knocked on professor's doors 00:13:02.810 --> 00:13:04.493 and said, "Can I teach your class?" 00:13:04.493 --> 00:13:07.000 Well, I didn't get anywhere the first couple times. 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:08.304 But because I didn't run -- 00:13:08.304 --> 00:13:09.762 I kept doing it -- 00:13:09.762 --> 00:13:10.979 and on the third try, 00:13:10.979 --> 00:13:13.077 the professor was very impressed. 00:13:13.077 --> 00:13:15.104 He was like, "No one has done this before." 00:13:15.104 --> 00:13:19.062 And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson. 00:13:19.062 --> 00:13:21.112 He said, "Wow, I can use this. 00:13:21.112 --> 00:13:23.107 Why don't you come back in two months? 00:13:23.107 --> 00:13:24.645 I'll fit you in my curriculum." 00:13:24.645 --> 00:13:26.752 And two months later I was teaching a class. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:26.752 --> 00:13:27.752 This is me -- 00:13:27.752 --> 00:13:28.888 you probably can't see, 00:13:28.888 --> 00:13:29.964 this is a bad picture. 00:13:29.964 --> 00:13:32.710 You know sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know? NOTE Paragraph 00:13:32.710 --> 00:13:33.712 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:13:34.826 --> 00:13:35.825 But wow -- 00:13:35.825 --> 00:13:37.564 when I finished teaching that class, 00:13:37.564 --> 00:13:39.176 I walked out crying, 00:13:39.176 --> 00:13:40.183 because -- 00:13:40.183 --> 00:13:41.181 I thought -- 00:13:41.181 --> 00:13:43.886 I could just fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. 00:13:44.055 --> 00:13:46.676 I used to think I have to accomplish all these things -- 00:13:46.676 --> 00:13:48.217 have to be a great entrepreneur, 00:13:48.217 --> 00:13:50.373 or get a PhD to teach -- 00:13:50.373 --> 00:13:51.959 but no, I just asked, 00:13:51.959 --> 00:13:53.526 and I could teach. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:53.526 --> 00:13:54.641 And in that picture -- 00:13:54.641 --> 00:13:56.103 which you can't see -- 00:13:56.103 --> 00:13:59.272 I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. 00:13:59.272 --> 00:14:00.266 Why? 00:14:00.266 --> 00:14:04.047 Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, 00:14:04.047 --> 00:14:07.065 who change the way we live and the way we think, 00:14:07.065 --> 00:14:11.075 are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. 00:14:11.075 --> 00:14:13.065 People like Martin Luther King, Jr., 00:14:13.065 --> 00:14:14.275 like Mahatma Ghandi, 00:14:14.275 --> 00:14:15.343 Nelson Mandela, 00:14:15.343 --> 00:14:16.712 or even Jesus Christ. 00:14:16.712 --> 00:14:20.194 These people did not let rejection define them. 00:14:20.194 --> 00:14:24.507 They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. 00:14:25.194 --> 00:14:27.634 And they embraced rejection. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:27.634 --> 00:14:30.925 And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, 00:14:30.925 --> 00:14:32.101 but in my case, 00:14:32.101 --> 00:14:34.167 rejection was my curse -- 00:14:34.167 --> 00:14:35.549 was my boogeyman. 00:14:35.549 --> 00:14:39.322 It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. 00:14:39.575 --> 00:14:41.717 Then I started embracing it. 00:14:41.996 --> 00:14:45.144 It turned out into the biggest gift in my life. 00:14:45.549 --> 00:14:50.023 I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. 00:14:50.023 --> 00:14:51.129 I use my blog, 00:14:51.129 --> 00:14:52.243 I use my talk, 00:14:52.243 --> 00:14:54.202 I use the book I just published, 00:14:54.202 --> 00:14:59.119 and I'm even using technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:00.436 --> 00:15:02.175 When you get rejected in life, 00:15:02.175 --> 00:15:04.614 when you are facing the next obstacle, 00:15:04.614 --> 00:15:06.581 or next failure, 00:15:06.581 --> 00:15:08.023 consider the possiblities. 00:15:08.284 --> 00:15:09.457 Don't run. 00:15:09.457 --> 00:15:10.875 If you just embrace them, 00:15:10.875 --> 00:15:13.164 they might become your gifts as well. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:13.356 --> 00:15:14.363 Thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:14.363 --> 00:15:16.102 (Applause)