1 00:00:00,946 --> 00:00:02,708 When I was six years old, 2 00:00:02,708 --> 00:00:04,168 I received my gifts. 3 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,536 My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,403 She wanted us to experience receiving gifts, 5 00:00:11,403 --> 00:00:15,143 but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. 6 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,742 So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom, 7 00:00:18,742 --> 00:00:20,251 and she bought all of us gifts, 8 00:00:20,251 --> 00:00:21,734 and stacked them in the corner. 9 00:00:21,734 --> 00:00:22,734 And she said, 10 00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:25,656 "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? 11 00:00:25,656 --> 00:00:27,434 If you hear your name called, 12 00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:30,020 go and pick up your gift and sit down." 13 00:00:30,779 --> 00:00:32,450 What a wonderful idea, right? 14 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,408 What could go wrong? 15 00:00:34,408 --> 00:00:35,630 (Laughter) 16 00:00:36,689 --> 00:00:38,755 Well, there were 40 of us to start with, 17 00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:41,240 and every time I heard someone's name called, 18 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,705 I would give out the heartiest cheer. 19 00:00:43,705 --> 00:00:46,077 And then there were 20 people left, 20 00:00:46,077 --> 00:00:47,934 and 10 people left, 21 00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:49,892 and five left ... 22 00:00:49,892 --> 00:00:51,264 and three left. 23 00:00:51,264 --> 00:00:52,500 And I was one of them. 24 00:00:52,863 --> 00:00:54,812 And the compliments stopped. 25 00:00:55,831 --> 00:00:58,438 Well, at that moment, I was crying. 26 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:01,052 And the teacher was freaking out. 27 00:01:01,052 --> 00:01:04,729 She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?" 28 00:01:04,729 --> 00:01:05,730 (Laughter) 29 00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:06,726 "No one? 30 00:01:06,726 --> 00:01:09,170 OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down. 31 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,282 So behave next year -- 32 00:01:10,282 --> 00:01:12,350 someone might say something nice about you." 33 00:01:12,350 --> 00:01:13,726 (Laughter) 34 00:01:14,744 --> 00:01:16,497 Well, as I'm describing this you, 35 00:01:16,497 --> 00:01:19,014 you probably know I remember this really well. 36 00:01:19,014 --> 00:01:20,171 (Laughter) 37 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:23,176 But I don't know who felt worse that day. 38 00:01:23,176 --> 00:01:25,415 Was it me, or the teacher? 39 00:01:25,415 --> 00:01:28,564 She must have realized that she turned a [team-building] event 40 00:01:28,564 --> 00:01:31,634 into a public [roast] for three six-year-olds. 41 00:01:32,366 --> 00:01:33,743 And without the humor. 42 00:01:33,743 --> 00:01:36,109 You know, when you see people get [roasted] on TV, 43 00:01:36,109 --> 00:01:37,110 it was funny. 44 00:01:37,110 --> 00:01:39,296 There was nothing funny about that day. 45 00:01:39,722 --> 00:01:42,669 So that was one version of me, 46 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:46,285 and I would die to avoid being in that situation again -- 47 00:01:46,285 --> 00:01:48,221 to get rejected in public again. 48 00:01:48,596 --> 00:01:49,824 That's one version. 49 00:01:50,132 --> 00:01:52,589 Then fast-forward eight years. 50 00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:54,641 Bill Gates came to my hometown -- 51 00:01:54,641 --> 00:01:55,757 Beijing, China -- 52 00:01:55,757 --> 00:01:56,896 to speak, 53 00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:58,597 and I saw his message. 54 00:01:58,916 --> 00:02:01,089 I fell in love with that guy. 55 00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:04,259 I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now. 56 00:02:04,259 --> 00:02:06,390 That night I wrote a letter to my family 57 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,670 telling them by age 25, 58 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,282 I will build the biggest company in the world, 59 00:02:11,282 --> 00:02:13,246 and that company will buy Microsoft. 60 00:02:13,246 --> 00:02:14,913 (Laughter) 61 00:02:15,096 --> 00:02:17,671 I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world -- 62 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,983 domination, right? 63 00:02:19,425 --> 00:02:21,178 And I didn't make this up, 64 00:02:21,178 --> 00:02:22,385 I did write that letter. 65 00:02:22,385 --> 00:02:23,668 And hear it is -- 66 00:02:23,668 --> 00:02:24,717 (Laughter) 67 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,854 You don't have to read this through -- 68 00:02:27,854 --> 00:02:29,239 (Laughter) 69 00:02:29,239 --> 00:02:31,155 This is also bad handwriting, 70 00:02:31,155 --> 00:02:32,840 but I did highlight some key words. 71 00:02:33,822 --> 00:02:34,976 You get the idea. 72 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,530 (Laughter) 73 00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:41,574 So, that was another version of me: 74 00:02:41,574 --> 00:02:43,684 one who will conquer the world. 75 00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:45,747 Well, then two years later, 76 00:02:45,747 --> 00:02:49,033 I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. 77 00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:51,182 I jumped on it, 78 00:02:51,182 --> 00:02:53,513 because that was where Bill Gates lived, right? 79 00:02:53,513 --> 00:02:54,506 (Laughter) 80 00:02:54,506 --> 00:02:57,429 I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey. 81 00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,100 Then, fast-forward another 14 years. 82 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,613 I was 30. 83 00:03:01,613 --> 00:03:03,553 Nope, I didn't build that company. 84 00:03:03,953 --> 00:03:05,099 I didn't even start. 85 00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:09,096 I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. 86 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,228 And I felt I was stuck; 87 00:03:11,228 --> 00:03:12,679 I was stagnant. 88 00:03:13,246 --> 00:03:14,272 Why is that? 89 00:03:14,272 --> 00:03:16,986 Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? 90 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,266 It's not because he didn't try. 91 00:03:19,653 --> 00:03:22,830 It's because every time I had a new idea, 92 00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:24,803 every time I wanted to try something new, 93 00:03:24,803 --> 00:03:26,044 even at work -- 94 00:03:26,044 --> 00:03:27,858 I wanted to make a proposal, 95 00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:31,358 I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group -- 96 00:03:31,358 --> 00:03:33,197 I felt there was this constant battle 97 00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:35,888 between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. 98 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,267 One wanted to conquer the world -- 99 00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:39,506 make a difference -- 100 00:03:39,506 --> 00:03:41,882 another was afraid of rejection. 101 00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,812 And every time that six-year-old won. 102 00:03:45,898 --> 00:03:49,498 And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. 103 00:03:50,061 --> 00:03:53,121 I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 -- 104 00:03:53,121 --> 00:03:54,529 if you want to be Bill Gates, 105 00:03:54,529 --> 00:03:56,548 you've got to start sooner or later, right? 106 00:03:56,548 --> 00:03:57,545 (Laughter) 107 00:03:57,545 --> 00:04:00,023 When I was an entrepreneur, 108 00:04:00,023 --> 00:04:02,798 I was presented with an investment opportunity, 109 00:04:02,798 --> 00:04:04,738 and then I was turned down. 110 00:04:05,282 --> 00:04:06,688 And that rejection hurt me. 111 00:04:07,065 --> 00:04:10,797 It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. 112 00:04:11,427 --> 00:04:12,431 But then I thought, 113 00:04:12,431 --> 00:04:17,201 hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? 114 00:04:17,201 --> 00:04:20,101 Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? 115 00:04:20,101 --> 00:04:21,512 No way. 116 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,544 And this is where it clicked for me. 117 00:04:23,544 --> 00:04:25,387 OK, I can build a better company. 118 00:04:25,387 --> 00:04:27,661 I can build a better team or better product, 119 00:04:27,661 --> 00:04:29,190 but one thing for sure: 120 00:04:29,190 --> 00:04:31,035 I've got to be a better leader. 121 00:04:31,035 --> 00:04:33,059 I've got to be a better person. 122 00:04:33,059 --> 00:04:36,259 I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. 123 00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:38,672 I have to put him back to his place. 124 00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:41,480 So this is where I went online and looked for help. 125 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,878 Google was my friend. 126 00:04:42,878 --> 00:04:43,881 (Laughter) 127 00:04:43,881 --> 00:04:46,604 I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?" 128 00:04:47,189 --> 00:04:49,990 I came up with a bunch of psychology articles 129 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,396 about where the fear and pain are coming from. 130 00:04:52,984 --> 00:04:56,352 Then I came up with a bunch of "Ra-ra" inspirational articles 131 00:04:56,352 --> 00:04:58,931 about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it." 132 00:04:59,393 --> 00:05:00,994 Who doesn't know that? 133 00:05:01,006 --> 00:05:02,444 (Laughter) 134 00:05:02,766 --> 00:05:04,566 But why was I still so scared? 135 00:05:04,958 --> 00:05:06,970 Then I found this website by luck. 136 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:08,972 It's called rejectiontherapy.com. 137 00:05:09,565 --> 00:05:10,850 (Laughter) 138 00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:15,935 Rejection Therapy was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. 139 00:05:15,935 --> 00:05:17,635 His name is Jason Comely. 140 00:05:17,635 --> 00:05:22,580 And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, 141 00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:25,092 and every day get rejected at something, 142 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,307 and then by the end, 143 00:05:26,307 --> 00:05:28,978 you desensitize yourself from the pain. 144 00:05:29,514 --> 00:05:31,304 And I loved that idea. 145 00:05:31,304 --> 00:05:32,712 (Laughter) 146 00:05:32,712 --> 00:05:33,934 I said, "You know what? 147 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,200 I'm going to do this. 148 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,958 And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." 149 00:05:37,958 --> 00:05:40,508 And I came up with my own rejection ideas, 150 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:43,277 and I will make a video blog out of it. 151 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,609 And so here's what I did. 152 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,962 This is what the blog looked like. 153 00:05:48,523 --> 00:05:50,692 Day One ... 154 00:05:50,692 --> 00:05:51,689 (Laughter) 155 00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:55,127 Borrow $100 from a Stanger. 156 00:05:55,993 --> 00:05:58,794 So this is where I went to where I was working. 157 00:05:58,794 --> 00:06:00,604 I came downstairs 158 00:06:00,604 --> 00:06:02,743 and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk, 159 00:06:02,743 --> 00:06:04,577 he looked like a security guard. 160 00:06:04,577 --> 00:06:06,150 So I just approach him. 161 00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:08,315 And I was just walking in -- 162 00:06:08,315 --> 00:06:10,586 that was the longest walk of my life -- 163 00:06:10,586 --> 00:06:12,711 just hair on the back of my neck standing up, 164 00:06:12,711 --> 00:06:15,071 I was sweating and my heart was pounding, 165 00:06:15,071 --> 00:06:16,285 and I got there and said, 166 00:06:16,285 --> 00:06:18,946 "Hey, sir, can I borrow $100 from you?" 167 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,277 (Laughter) 168 00:06:20,277 --> 00:06:21,276 And he looked up, 169 00:06:21,276 --> 00:06:22,340 he's like, "No." 170 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,340 (Laughter) 171 00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,285 "Why?" 172 00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:26,163 And I just said, "No? 173 00:06:26,163 --> 00:06:27,160 I'm sorry." 174 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,923 Then I turned around and I just ran. 175 00:06:28,923 --> 00:06:29,915 (Laughter) 176 00:06:31,202 --> 00:06:33,063 I felt so embarrassed. 177 00:06:33,063 --> 00:06:34,529 But because I filmed myself -- 178 00:06:34,529 --> 00:06:37,699 so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, 179 00:06:37,699 --> 00:06:39,424 I just saw how scared I was. 180 00:06:39,688 --> 00:06:42,247 I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." 181 00:06:42,247 --> 00:06:43,653 I saw dead people. 182 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,877 (Laughter) 183 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,892 But then I saw this guy. 184 00:06:46,892 --> 00:06:48,910 You know, he wasn't that menacing. 185 00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:51,251 He was a chubby, loveable guy, 186 00:06:51,251 --> 00:06:54,609 and he even asked me, "Why?" 187 00:06:54,609 --> 00:06:56,724 In fact, he invited me to explain myself. 188 00:06:57,045 --> 00:06:58,572 I could've said many things. 189 00:06:58,572 --> 00:06:59,600 I could've explained, 190 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,062 I could've negotiated. 191 00:07:01,062 --> 00:07:02,765 I didn't do any of that. 192 00:07:02,903 --> 00:07:04,640 All I did was run. 193 00:07:05,231 --> 00:07:08,654 I felt, wow, this is like the microcosm of my life. 194 00:07:09,203 --> 00:07:11,771 Every time I felt the slightest rejection, 195 00:07:11,771 --> 00:07:14,082 I would just run as fast as I could. 196 00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:15,083 And you know what? 197 00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:16,079 The next day, 198 00:07:16,079 --> 00:07:17,202 no matter what happens, 199 00:07:17,202 --> 00:07:18,572 I'm not going to run. 200 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,814 I'll stay engaged. 201 00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:22,237 Day Two: Request a "Burger Refill." 202 00:07:22,565 --> 00:07:23,967 (Laughter) 203 00:07:24,424 --> 00:07:26,488 It's when I went to a burger joint, 204 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:27,593 I finished lunch, 205 00:07:27,593 --> 00:07:29,336 and I went to the cashier and said, 206 00:07:29,336 --> 00:07:30,999 "Hi, can I get a burger refill?" 207 00:07:30,999 --> 00:07:32,206 (Laughter) 208 00:07:32,862 --> 00:07:34,144 And he was all confused, 209 00:07:34,144 --> 00:07:35,621 like, "What's a burger refill?" 210 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,617 (Laughter) 211 00:07:36,617 --> 00:07:39,654 I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger." 212 00:07:39,654 --> 00:07:40,649 (Laughter) 213 00:07:40,649 --> 00:07:43,200 And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man." 214 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,284 (Laughter) 215 00:07:44,284 --> 00:07:47,295 So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, 216 00:07:47,295 --> 00:07:48,546 but I stayed. 217 00:07:48,546 --> 00:07:50,816 I said, "Well, I love your burgers, 218 00:07:50,816 --> 00:07:52,248 I love your joint, 219 00:07:52,248 --> 00:07:54,240 and if you guys do a burger refill, 220 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,760 I will love you guys more." 221 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:56,755 (Laughter) 222 00:07:56,755 --> 00:07:59,590 And he said, "Well, ok, I'll tell my manager about it, 223 00:07:59,590 --> 00:08:00,673 and maybe we'll do it, 224 00:08:00,673 --> 00:08:02,550 but sorry we can't do this today." 225 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,004 Then I left. 226 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:05,842 And by the way, 227 00:08:05,842 --> 00:08:08,048 I don't think they've ever done burger refill. 228 00:08:08,048 --> 00:08:09,191 (Laughter) 229 00:08:09,191 --> 00:08:10,600 I think they're still there. 230 00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:14,851 But, the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time 231 00:08:14,851 --> 00:08:16,169 was no longer there, 232 00:08:16,169 --> 00:08:17,959 just because I stayed engaged -- 233 00:08:17,959 --> 00:08:19,569 because I didn't run. 234 00:08:19,569 --> 00:08:20,733 I said, "Wow, great, 235 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,683 I'm already learning things. 236 00:08:22,683 --> 00:08:23,681 Great." 237 00:08:23,681 --> 00:08:25,872 And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. 238 00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:29,996 This is where my life was turned upside down. 239 00:08:30,455 --> 00:08:31,907 I went to a Krispy Kreme. 240 00:08:31,907 --> 00:08:35,457 It's a doughnut shop in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. 241 00:08:35,857 --> 00:08:37,874 I'm sure they have some here, too. 242 00:08:37,874 --> 00:08:38,911 And I went in, 243 00:08:38,911 --> 00:08:42,051 I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? 244 00:08:42,051 --> 00:08:44,631 Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... " 245 00:08:44,631 --> 00:08:45,631 (Laughter) 246 00:08:45,631 --> 00:08:47,881 I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? 247 00:08:47,881 --> 00:08:49,999 The doughnut maker took me so seriously. 248 00:08:50,387 --> 00:08:51,413 (Laughter) 249 00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:52,465 So she put out paper, 250 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:55,121 started jotting down the colors and the rings, 251 00:08:55,121 --> 00:08:57,143 and is like, "How can I make this?" 252 00:08:57,143 --> 00:08:58,970 And then 15 minutes later, 253 00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:01,601 she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. 254 00:09:01,601 --> 00:09:02,601 (Laughter) 255 00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:04,197 And I was so touched. 256 00:09:04,197 --> 00:09:06,392 I just couldn't believe it. 257 00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:09,704 And that video got over five million views on Youtube. 258 00:09:10,743 --> 00:09:12,665 The world couldn't believe that either. 259 00:09:12,665 --> 00:09:14,110 (Laughter) 260 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:19,006 And because of that I was in newspapers, 261 00:09:19,006 --> 00:09:20,011 in talk shows, 262 00:09:20,011 --> 00:09:21,013 in everything. 263 00:09:21,013 --> 00:09:22,143 And I became famous. 264 00:09:22,143 --> 00:09:24,283 A lot of people started writing emails to me, 265 00:09:24,283 --> 00:09:26,655 and saying, "What you're doing is awesome." 266 00:09:26,655 --> 00:09:30,305 But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. 267 00:09:30,305 --> 00:09:32,105 What I really wanted to do was learn, 268 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,435 and to change myself, 269 00:09:33,435 --> 00:09:35,851 so I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection 270 00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:37,959 into this playground -- 271 00:09:37,959 --> 00:09:39,935 into this research project. 272 00:09:39,935 --> 00:09:42,097 I wanted to see what I could learn. 273 00:09:42,455 --> 00:09:44,392 And then I learned a lot of things. 274 00:09:44,392 --> 00:09:45,893 I discovered so many secrets. 275 00:09:45,893 --> 00:09:46,893 For example, 276 00:09:46,893 --> 00:09:48,873 I found if I just don't run, 277 00:09:48,873 --> 00:09:49,987 if I got rejected, 278 00:09:49,987 --> 00:09:52,000 I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," 279 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,795 and the magic word is, "why." 280 00:09:53,795 --> 00:09:56,080 So one day I went to a stranger's house, 281 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,472 I had this flower in my hand, 282 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,465 and I said -- 283 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:02,151 knocked on the door and said, "Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?" 284 00:10:02,151 --> 00:10:03,154 (Laughter) 285 00:10:03,154 --> 00:10:05,217 And he said, "No." 286 00:10:05,817 --> 00:10:07,774 But before he could leave I said, 287 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,642 "Hey, can I know why?" 288 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:12,687 And he said, "Well, I have this dog 289 00:10:12,687 --> 00:10:15,029 that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. 290 00:10:15,029 --> 00:10:16,655 I don't want to waste your flower. 291 00:10:16,655 --> 00:10:17,761 If you want to do this, 292 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:19,669 go across the street and talk to Connie. 293 00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:20,681 She loves flowers." 294 00:10:20,681 --> 00:10:21,682 (Laughter) 295 00:10:21,682 --> 00:10:22,709 So that's what I did. 296 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,752 I went across and knocked on Connie's door. 297 00:10:24,752 --> 00:10:26,542 And she was so happy to see me. 298 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:27,901 (Laughter) 299 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,485 And then half an hour later, 300 00:10:29,485 --> 00:10:31,511 there was this flower in Connie's backyard. 301 00:10:31,511 --> 00:10:32,894 I'm sure it looks better now. 302 00:10:32,894 --> 00:10:33,892 (Laughter) 303 00:10:34,438 --> 00:10:37,262 But had I left after the initial rejection, 304 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,280 I would've thought, 305 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,332 well, it's because the guy didn't trust me, 306 00:10:40,332 --> 00:10:41,536 it's because I was crazy, 307 00:10:41,536 --> 00:10:43,163 because I didn't dress up well -- 308 00:10:43,163 --> 00:10:44,160 I didn't look good. 309 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,197 It was none of those. 310 00:10:45,197 --> 00:10:48,139 It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. 311 00:10:48,139 --> 00:10:50,532 And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral -- 312 00:10:50,532 --> 00:10:51,936 using a sales term -- 313 00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:52,936 (Laughter) 314 00:10:52,936 --> 00:10:54,505 I converted a referral. 315 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,779 Then one day -- 316 00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:58,959 and I also learned that I can actually say certain things 317 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,024 and maximize my chance to get a yes. 318 00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:02,024 So for example, 319 00:11:02,024 --> 00:11:03,484 one day I went to a Starbucks, 320 00:11:03,484 --> 00:11:04,674 and asked the manager, 321 00:11:04,674 --> 00:11:06,846 "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?" 322 00:11:06,846 --> 00:11:08,902 He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?" 323 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:09,898 (Laughter) 324 00:11:09,898 --> 00:11:11,962 I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters? 325 00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:15,307 You know those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, 326 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,668 and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? 327 00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:20,524 I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers." 328 00:11:20,524 --> 00:11:21,729 (Laughter) 329 00:11:21,729 --> 00:11:24,529 Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually -- 330 00:11:24,529 --> 00:11:25,527 (Laughter) 331 00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:27,771 Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. 332 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,771 (Laughter) 333 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,604 And he was like, "Oh" -- 334 00:11:30,604 --> 00:11:31,938 yeah, this is how he looked, 335 00:11:31,938 --> 00:11:32,940 his name is Eric -- 336 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:34,571 and he was like, "I'm not sure." 337 00:11:34,571 --> 00:11:36,067 This is how he was hearing me. 338 00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,068 "Not sure." 339 00:11:37,068 --> 00:11:38,625 Then I ask him, "Is that weird?" 340 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:40,653 He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man." 341 00:11:40,653 --> 00:11:41,651 (Laughter) 342 00:11:41,651 --> 00:11:44,240 But as soon as he said that his whole demeanor changed. 343 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,944 It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. 344 00:11:46,944 --> 00:11:48,674 And he said, "Yeah, you can do this, 345 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,052 just don't get too weird." 346 00:11:50,052 --> 00:11:51,045 (Laughter) 347 00:11:51,339 --> 00:11:53,874 So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter. 348 00:11:53,874 --> 00:11:55,978 I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, 349 00:11:55,978 --> 00:11:57,840 and gave them holiday cheers. 350 00:11:58,221 --> 00:11:59,224 By the way, 351 00:11:59,224 --> 00:12:01,316 I don't know what your career trajectory is, 352 00:12:01,316 --> 00:12:02,321 don't be a greeter. 353 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:03,317 (Laughter) 354 00:12:03,317 --> 00:12:04,603 It was really boring. 355 00:12:05,539 --> 00:12:09,112 But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, 356 00:12:09,112 --> 00:12:10,440 "Is that weird?" 357 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,751 I mentioned the doubt that he was having. 358 00:12:12,751 --> 00:12:16,212 And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?" that means I wasn't weird. 359 00:12:16,212 --> 00:12:18,756 That means I was actually thinking just like him, 360 00:12:18,756 --> 00:12:20,729 seeing this as a weird thing. 361 00:12:21,078 --> 00:12:22,360 And again, and again, 362 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,544 I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have 363 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,449 before I ask the question, 364 00:12:27,449 --> 00:12:28,703 I gained their trust. 365 00:12:28,703 --> 00:12:31,151 People were more likely to say yes to me. 366 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:34,366 And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ... 367 00:12:34,366 --> 00:12:35,785 by asking. 368 00:12:36,124 --> 00:12:39,020 I came from four generations of teachers, 369 00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,879 and my grandma has always told me, 370 00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:44,267 "Hey Jia, you can do anything you want, 371 00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:46,370 but you'd be great if you become a teacher." 372 00:12:46,370 --> 00:12:47,373 (Laughter) 373 00:12:47,522 --> 00:12:49,203 But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, 374 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,200 so I didn't. 375 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,270 But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. 376 00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:55,233 So I said, "What if I just ask, 377 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,294 and teach a college class?" 378 00:12:57,709 --> 00:12:59,262 I lived in Austin at the time, 379 00:12:59,262 --> 00:13:01,268 so I went to University of Texas in Austin, 380 00:13:01,268 --> 00:13:02,810 and knocked on professor's doors 381 00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:04,493 and said, "Can I teach your class?" 382 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,000 Well, I didn't get anywhere the first couple times. 383 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,304 But because I didn't run -- 384 00:13:08,304 --> 00:13:09,762 I kept doing it -- 385 00:13:09,762 --> 00:13:10,979 and on the third try, 386 00:13:10,979 --> 00:13:13,077 the professor was very impressed. 387 00:13:13,077 --> 00:13:15,104 He was like, "No one has done this before." 388 00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:19,062 And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson. 389 00:13:19,062 --> 00:13:21,112 He said, "Wow, I can use this. 390 00:13:21,112 --> 00:13:23,107 Why don't you come back in two months? 391 00:13:23,107 --> 00:13:24,645 I'll fit you in my curriculum." 392 00:13:24,645 --> 00:13:26,752 And two months later I was teaching a class. 393 00:13:26,752 --> 00:13:27,752 This is me -- 394 00:13:27,752 --> 00:13:28,888 you probably can't see, 395 00:13:28,888 --> 00:13:29,964 this is a bad picture. 396 00:13:29,964 --> 00:13:32,710 You know sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know? 397 00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:33,712 (Laughter) 398 00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:35,825 But wow -- 399 00:13:35,825 --> 00:13:37,564 when I finished teaching that class, 400 00:13:37,564 --> 00:13:39,176 I walked out crying, 401 00:13:39,176 --> 00:13:40,183 because -- 402 00:13:40,183 --> 00:13:41,181 I thought -- 403 00:13:41,181 --> 00:13:43,886 I could just fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. 404 00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:46,676 I used to think I have to accomplish all these things -- 405 00:13:46,676 --> 00:13:48,217 have to be a great entrepreneur, 406 00:13:48,217 --> 00:13:50,373 or get a PhD to teach -- 407 00:13:50,373 --> 00:13:51,959 but no, I just asked, 408 00:13:51,959 --> 00:13:53,526 and I could teach. 409 00:13:53,526 --> 00:13:54,641 And in that picture -- 410 00:13:54,641 --> 00:13:56,103 which you can't see -- 411 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:59,272 I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. 412 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,266 Why? 413 00:14:00,266 --> 00:14:04,047 Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, 414 00:14:04,047 --> 00:14:07,065 who change the way we live and the way we think, 415 00:14:07,065 --> 00:14:11,075 are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. 416 00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:13,065 People like Martin Luther King, Jr., 417 00:14:13,065 --> 00:14:14,275 like Mahatma Ghandi, 418 00:14:14,275 --> 00:14:15,343 Nelson Mandela, 419 00:14:15,343 --> 00:14:16,712 or even Jesus Christ. 420 00:14:16,712 --> 00:14:20,194 These people did not let rejection define them. 421 00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:24,507 They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. 422 00:14:25,194 --> 00:14:27,634 And they embraced rejection. 423 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:30,925 And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, 424 00:14:30,925 --> 00:14:32,101 but in my case, 425 00:14:32,101 --> 00:14:34,167 rejection was my curse -- 426 00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:35,549 was my boogeyman. 427 00:14:35,549 --> 00:14:39,322 It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. 428 00:14:39,575 --> 00:14:41,717 Then I started embracing it. 429 00:14:41,996 --> 00:14:45,144 It turned out into the biggest gift in my life. 430 00:14:45,549 --> 00:14:50,023 I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. 431 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,129 I use my blog, 432 00:14:51,129 --> 00:14:52,243 I use my talk, 433 00:14:52,243 --> 00:14:54,202 I use the book I just published, 434 00:14:54,202 --> 00:14:59,119 and I'm even using technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection. 435 00:15:00,436 --> 00:15:02,175 When you get rejected in life, 436 00:15:02,175 --> 00:15:04,614 when you are facing the next obstacle, 437 00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:06,581 or next failure, 438 00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:08,023 consider the possiblities. 439 00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:09,457 Don't run. 440 00:15:09,457 --> 00:15:10,875 If you just embrace them, 441 00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:13,164 they might become your gifts as well. 442 00:15:13,356 --> 00:15:14,363 Thank you. 443 00:15:14,363 --> 00:15:16,102 (Applause)