[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.28,0:00:13.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm in a job interview,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.48,0:00:15.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the interviewer asks me,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.58,0:00:19.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Talk about a time you've been\Na victim of racism or discrimination."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.17,0:00:23.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I smirked because I knew\Nto expect this question,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.76,0:00:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and smugly, I said, "I've never been\Na victim of racism or discrimination."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.19,0:00:29.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.96,0:00:33.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Three months prior, I was sitting\Nat a table with a group of colleagues,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.47,0:00:36.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we were talking about\Nprivilege and prejudice,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.36,0:00:40.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said, "You know, I don't understand\Nthis privilege and prejudice thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.02,0:00:43.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People are successful\Nbecause of the hard work that they put in.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.23,0:00:46.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm successful because\Nof the hard work I've put in.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.18,0:00:47.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if anyone isn't successful,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.86,0:00:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's because they just\Nhaven't worked hard enough."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.76,0:00:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure we've heard these things before.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.77,0:00:56.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I grew up in Pikesville,\Na suburb of Baltimore.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.54,0:00:59.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an upper-middle-class area, Jewish.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.32,0:01:01.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My parents were young\Nwhen we moved to this neighborhood,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.99,0:01:05.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I remember there being a real sense\Nof pride when we moved to the county.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.63,0:01:08.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow, we live near\Nwhite people now! We made it!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.01,0:01:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.47,0:01:13.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And even though I lived\Nin an affluent zip code,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.22,0:01:17.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the mansions that I saw\Nyou couldn't find exactly on my street.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.25,0:01:21.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went to school with many of the people\Nwho lived in those big houses.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.14,0:01:25.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in advanced classes in school,\Nand so most of my classmates were white,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.68,0:01:29.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I made real strong, awesome\Nrelationships with many of them.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.62,0:01:33.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They would say things like, "Jabari,\Ntell us about how black people do this."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.45,0:01:36.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, "Why can't they swim?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.13,0:01:38.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.14,0:01:40.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And all of these things.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.69,0:01:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I would joke and laugh,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.24,0:01:46.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and try and, you know,\Ngive them some knowledge.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.17,0:01:48.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I began changing the way I dressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.13,0:01:51.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was wearing American Eagle\Nand Abercrombie - when I could fit it -
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.68,0:01:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.84,0:01:54.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and listening to pop and rock,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.76,0:01:57.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for the most part,\Nmy family just made fun of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.95,0:02:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But one thing that my parents said -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.09,0:02:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was pretty important,\Nthat I learned that it was -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.68,0:02:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they said, "Jabari,\Nsweetheart, you're black."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.82,0:02:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.99,0:02:09.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And that means something.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.72,0:02:13.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can have white friends,\Nyou can love them and you can trust them,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.52,0:02:17.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but at the end of the day, you're black,\Nand that means something; racism is real."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.38,0:02:22.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, at that time, I thought these were\Njust black people talking about racism!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.36,0:02:23.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.32,0:02:26.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Little did I know that it was\Nmuch more than that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.45,0:02:29.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I ended up getting\Na job at a nonprofit.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.46,0:02:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was doing low-income LGBT work\Nin Baltimore city.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.23,0:02:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I had this brilliant black\Nqueer woman as supervisor.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.18,0:02:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was networking with leaders\Nall over the city,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.64,0:02:43.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was really learning\Nhow systems interacted in people's lives:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.44,0:02:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,housing, juvenile justice,\Neducation, transportation, healthcare.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.56,0:02:50.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was also in school at the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.15,0:02:53.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a Gender and Women\NStudies major at UNBC,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.24,0:02:56.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this program really helped me\Ndeeply study concepts
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.89,0:02:59.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I didn't really spend\Nmuch time with in high school.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.79,0:03:02.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned about redlining.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.16,0:03:04.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned about state-sanctioned violence,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.51,0:03:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how gender violence\Nis often underscored by racial violence.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.90,0:03:11.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the same time, this was 2015.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.82,0:03:16.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had lived through the news\Nof Eric Garner and Tamir Rice.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.10,0:03:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My lens was changing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.80,0:03:21.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was no longer a black boy\Ngoing to school in Pikesville, Maryland.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.12,0:03:25.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was becoming a black man,\Nliving and working in Baltimore city.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.92,0:03:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So for one of my job assignments,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.54,0:03:31.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put together a training conference\Nfor colleagues all over the country.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.43,0:03:33.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was the coordinator.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.24,0:03:36.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when they arrived here in Baltimore,\NI got off the bus and I said,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.57,0:03:38.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, I'm Jabari! I'm the coordinator!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.99,0:03:41.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they looked at me\Nand became confused
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.46,0:03:44.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and visibly uncomfortable.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.53,0:03:46.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember it was raining that day,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.45,0:03:50.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I rented a van so that folks didn't\Nhave to walk around the training site
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.21,0:03:51.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the rain.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.45,0:03:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Come on in the van!"\NThey said, "We'd rather walk."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.06,0:03:59.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The folks who were in the van with me\Nreferred to me as their chauffeur.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.28,0:04:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They told me I should hold doors for them.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.02,0:04:03.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At meals, they sat with me and they said,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.98,0:04:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know what? I'm going to sit with you\Nso you don't think that we're being weird
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.90,0:04:09.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, God forbid, racist."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.85,0:04:14.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were saying stereotypical things,\Ncomparisons, statements,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.36,0:04:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and at the end, I felt\Nso emotionally drained.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.40,0:04:19.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I referred to my brilliant supervisor,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.35,0:04:22.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who happened to be\Na participant of the training,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.31,0:04:23.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.87,0:04:25.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Was that racism?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.45,0:04:28.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she said, "Yes, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.31,0:04:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.65,0:04:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.14,0:04:36.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And immediately, years\Nof suppressed memories came back.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.28,0:04:40.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember laughing it off with my friends\Nwhen they used the N-word.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.47,0:04:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember black peers making fun of me
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.51,0:04:45.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of the way I dressed\Nand the way that I talked.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.49,0:04:46.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And most importantly,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.56,0:04:49.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember that message that my parents\Ntold me when I was young:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.86,0:04:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're black. Racism is real."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.92,0:04:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I guess I never wanted to believe\Nthat we could really live in a world
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.42,0:04:58.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we treat each other this way.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.94,0:05:00.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So afterwards, I was studying
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.96,0:05:04.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and learning of what I can do\Nabout this thing called racism.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.59,0:05:07.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned about internalized racism.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.68,0:05:11.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Internalized racism happens\Nwhen black folks, people of color,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.52,0:05:17.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,start to behave or act in manners\Nthat uphold whiteness and white supremacy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.43,0:05:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Donna Bivens,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.60,0:05:22.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is a consultant and a writer\Nfor the Women's Theological Center,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.92,0:05:26.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,says that internalized racism\Nis a system all in itself;
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.68,0:05:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it has its own life,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.28,0:05:32.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and therefore, its own system\Nof rewards and consequences;
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.89,0:05:35.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that black folks\Nare unconsciously rewarded
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.78,0:05:38.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we participate\Nin internalized racism.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.95,0:05:42.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I read that and I said,\N"You know what? I feel that."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.06,0:05:45.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are rewarded when we embrace\Nwhite-standard English
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.23,0:05:48.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and abandon African American\Nvernacular English.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.53,0:05:52.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are rewarded when we start\Nto adopt white life styles
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.41,0:05:57.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and styles of music which are almost\Nalways characterized as more luxurious.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.57,0:06:01.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are things that I realized that\Nwere going on in my own life for ever.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.74,0:06:04.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I grieved for a really long time\Nafter that training.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.81,0:06:07.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not only did I realized\Nthat racism exists,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.82,0:06:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I was embarrassed!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.68,0:06:12.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought, "How could I learn it this way?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.66,0:06:16.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I abandon the narrative\Nthat my ancestors set forth?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.62,0:06:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I reject all\Nof the wonderful evidence there was
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.40,0:06:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that racism was real?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.20,0:06:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I've realized that there was\Nno degree, no job, no pair of shoes,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.15,0:06:33.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no preference for medium-rare steaks
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.45,0:06:37.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's going to protect you\Nfrom the violence of racism.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.87,0:06:40.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I felt embarrassed\Nthat I learned in this way.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.96,0:06:43.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even as I was preparing\Nthis speech, I wondered,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.65,0:06:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How is this going to be received?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.80,0:06:48.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Black kid grows up in rich,\Nwhite neighborhood,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.29,0:06:50.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,white people were mean to him,\Nand that's how racism is,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.95,0:06:52.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's how he learned it.'"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.57,0:06:56.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it wasn't how Eric Garner\Nor Tamir Rice or Rekia Boyd
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.58,0:07:01.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or Korryn Gaines or Maya Hall\Nor any of these people learned it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.84,0:07:04.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So there was some privilege\Nin how I grew up,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.16,0:07:06.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I had to learn about that,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.45,0:07:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that doesn't absolve me\Nfrom being shot down in the streets,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.04,0:07:12.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because at the end of the day, I am black.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.32,0:07:17.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So today, I am a nonprofit\Nleader in Baltimore.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.10,0:07:19.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm executive director of an organization
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.06,0:07:21.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I get to give back\Nto LGBTQ youth every day,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.65,0:07:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,particularly LGBTQ youth of color.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.82,0:07:27.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm also president of Baltimore's\NLGBT Community Center.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.02,0:07:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Being a black gay man, you really start\Nto see how whiteness operates
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.23,0:07:35.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even in spaces of inclusion and diversity.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.77,0:07:40.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw the millions of dollars and droves\Nof support for marriage equality
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.54,0:07:42.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but today hear the deafening silence
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.48,0:07:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we talk about the deaths\Nand murders of trans women of color.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.72,0:07:49.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this gay rights movement,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.25,0:07:52.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder, what would the gay rights\Nmovement look like today
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.58,0:07:56.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if being gay as something\Nthat only someone black could be?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.60,0:08:00.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I've learned a couple of lessons.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.11,0:08:01.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.51,0:08:03.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,racism is real!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.32,0:08:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Internalized racism is real.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.02,0:08:10.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a victim of it, and I'm learning\Nto be a survivor of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.05,0:08:14.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, it's probably the most\Nimportant lesson that I've ever learned.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.39,0:08:17.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've learned to love myself in ways\Nthat I never thought that I could.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.77,0:08:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because that's what\Ninternalized racism does,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.87,0:08:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it seeks to decimate your own culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.12,0:08:24.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But today, I walk proudly\Ndown the street as a black man,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.96,0:08:26.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a gay man.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.83,0:08:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two, I learned that black folks\Nor people of color
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.70,0:08:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can be operants of white supremacy\Nif they're not checked,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.29,0:08:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but to no fault of their own.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.90,0:08:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whiteness is pervasive, it's powerful,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.72,0:08:40.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sometimes we don't even know\Nhow it shows up in our world.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.56,0:08:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But most importantly, three,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.00,0:08:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've realized that being black in America
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.64,0:08:50.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is one of the most unique, amazing\Nand beautiful revolutionary things
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.22,0:08:51.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I could ever do.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.79,0:08:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And black love and black joy is something\Nto be cherished and honored,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.36,0:08:59.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm so proud that I've learned\Nthat lesson, and so grateful.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.36,0:09:01.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for listening to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.17,0:09:03.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheering)