0:00:00.760,0:00:02.256
"You don't belong here"

0:00:02.280,0:00:05.760
almost always means, "We can't find[br]a function or a role for you."

0:00:06.865,0:00:11.240
"You don't belong here" sometimes means,[br]"You're too queer to handle."

0:00:12.200,0:00:14.000
"You don't belong here"

0:00:15.360,0:00:17.056
very rarely means,

0:00:17.080,0:00:20.640
"There's no way for you to exist[br]and be happy here."

0:00:21.920,0:00:24.336
I went to university[br]in Johannesburg, South Africa,

0:00:24.360,0:00:26.789
and I remember the first time[br]a white friend of mine

0:00:26.813,0:00:30.413
heard me speaking Setswana,[br]the national language of Botswana.

0:00:31.240,0:00:32.896
I was on the phone with my mother

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and the intrigue which painted itself[br]across her face was absolutely priceless.

0:00:38.360,0:00:41.016
As soon as I hung up,[br]she comes to me and says,

0:00:41.040,0:00:42.656
"I didn't know you could do that.

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After all these years of knowing you,[br]how did I not know you could do that?"

0:00:47.280,0:00:50.696
What she was referring to was the fact[br]that I could switch off the twang

0:00:50.720,0:00:52.176
and slip into a native tongue,

0:00:52.200,0:00:55.536
and so I chose to let her in[br]on a few other things

0:00:55.560,0:00:57.520
which locate me as a Motswana,

0:00:58.400,0:01:00.976
not just by virtue of the fact[br]that I speak a language

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or I have family there,

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but that a rural child lives[br]within this shiny visage of fabulosity.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

0:01:14.520,0:01:17.736
I invited the Motswana public[br]into the story, my story,

0:01:17.760,0:01:21.216
as a transgender person years ago,[br]in English of course,

0:01:21.240,0:01:23.816
because Setswana[br]is a gender-neutral language

0:01:23.840,0:01:27.176
and the closest we get[br]is an approximation of "transgender."

0:01:27.200,0:01:30.896
And an important part of my history[br]got left out of that story,

0:01:30.920,0:01:33.960
by association rather than[br]out of any act of shame.

0:01:35.400,0:01:38.456
"Kat" was an international superstar,

0:01:38.480,0:01:41.736
a fashion and lifestyle writer,[br]a musician, theater producer

0:01:41.760,0:01:43.016
and performer --

0:01:43.040,0:01:46.936
all the things that qualify me[br]to be a mainstream, whitewashed,

0:01:46.960,0:01:49.096
new age digestible queer.

0:01:49.120,0:01:50.320
Kat.

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Kat had a degree from one[br]of the best universities in Africa,

0:01:54.320,0:01:55.840
oh no, the world.

0:01:56.480,0:01:58.576
By association, what Kat wasn't

0:01:58.600,0:02:00.976
was just like the little[br]brown-skinned children

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frolicking through the streets[br]of some incidental railway settlement

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like Tati Siding,

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or an off-the-grid village like Kgagodi,

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legs clad in dust stockings[br]whose knees had blackened

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from years of kneeling[br]and wax-polishing floors,

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whose shins were marked[br]with lessons from climbing trees,

0:02:19.520,0:02:21.136
who played until dusk,

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went in for supper by a paraffin lamp

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and returned to play hide-and-seek[br]amongst centipedes and owls

0:02:28.280,0:02:31.840
until finally someone's mother[br]would call the whole thing to an end.

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That got lost both in translation[br]and in transition,

0:02:37.160,0:02:38.416
and when I realized this,

0:02:38.440,0:02:43.536
I decided it was time for me to start[br]building bridges between myselves.

0:02:43.560,0:02:46.256
For me and for others to access me,

0:02:46.280,0:02:49.080
I had to start indigenizing my queerness.

0:02:49.960,0:02:53.376
What I mean by indigenizing[br]is stripping away the city life film

0:02:53.400,0:02:56.336
that stops you from seeing[br]the villager within.

0:02:56.360,0:03:00.736
In a time where being brown, queer,[br]African and seen as worthy of space

0:03:00.760,0:03:02.776
means being everything but rural,

0:03:02.800,0:03:04.896
I fear that we're erasing[br]the very struggles

0:03:04.920,0:03:06.880
that got us to where we are now.

0:03:07.640,0:03:10.216
The very first time I queered[br]being out in a village,

0:03:10.240,0:03:13.216
I was in my early 20s,[br]and I wore a kaftan.

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I was ridiculed by some of my family[br]and by strangers for wearing a dress.

0:03:18.200,0:03:22.656
My defense against their comments[br]was the default that we who don't belong,

0:03:22.680,0:03:25.616
the ones who are better than, get taught,

0:03:25.640,0:03:28.480
we shrug them off and say,[br]"They just don't know enough."

0:03:29.240,0:03:33.696
And of course I was wrong,[br]because my idea of wealth of knowledge

0:03:33.720,0:03:39.920
was based in removing yourself[br]from Third World thinking and living.

0:03:40.640,0:03:43.296
But it took time for me to realize[br]that my acts of pride

0:03:43.320,0:03:46.736
weren't most alive in[br]the global cities I traipsed through,

0:03:46.760,0:03:50.816
but in the villages where I speak[br]the languages and play the games

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and feel most at home and I can say,

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"I have seen the world,

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and I know that people like me[br]aren't alone here, we are everywhere."

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And so I used these village homes[br]for self-reflection

0:04:02.520,0:04:05.936
and to give hope[br]to the others who don't belong.

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Indigenizing my queerness

0:04:07.640,0:04:12.000
means bridging the many[br]exceptional parts of myself.

0:04:12.760,0:04:14.016
It means honoring the fact

0:04:14.040,0:04:17.456
that my tongue can contort itself[br]to speak the Romance languages

0:04:17.480,0:04:23.696
without denying or exoticizing the fact[br]that when I am moved, it can do this:

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(Ululating)

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It means --

0:04:30.440,0:04:32.096
(Cheers)

0:04:32.120,0:04:36.176
(Applause)

0:04:36.200,0:04:40.136
It means branding cattle with my mother[br]or chopping firewood with my cousins

0:04:40.160,0:04:42.576
doesn't make me[br]any less fabulous or queer,

0:04:42.600,0:04:46.936
even though I'm now accustomed[br]to rooftop shindigs, wine-paired menus

0:04:46.960,0:04:48.576
and VIP lounges.

0:04:48.600,0:04:50.456
(Laughter)

0:04:50.480,0:04:55.056
It means wearing my pride[br]through my grandmother's tongue,

0:04:55.080,0:04:57.896
my mother's food, my grandfather's song,

0:04:57.920,0:05:01.296
my skin etched with stories[br]of falling off donkeys

0:05:01.320,0:05:05.440
and years and years and years[br]of sleeping under a blanket of stars.

0:05:07.240,0:05:10.136
If there's any place I don't belong,

0:05:10.160,0:05:14.736
it's in a mind where the story of me[br]starts with the branch of me being queer

0:05:14.760,0:05:16.600
and not with my rural roots.

0:05:17.240,0:05:20.696
Indigenizing my queerness[br]means understanding

0:05:20.720,0:05:24.760
that the rural is a part of me,[br]and I am an indelible part of it.

0:05:25.360,0:05:26.576
Thank you.

0:05:26.600,0:05:30.360
(Applause)