WEBVTT 00:00:14.702 --> 00:00:15.702 Gifts. 00:00:16.376 --> 00:00:17.910 What a wonderful thing. 00:00:18.210 --> 00:00:20.277 Who can say "no"to them, right? 00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:23.376 When I was six years old, 00:00:23.400 --> 00:00:24.640 I received my gifts. 00:00:25.320 --> 00:00:28.776 My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. 00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:32.136 She wanted us to experience receiving gifts 00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:36.160 but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. 00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:39.536 So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom, 00:00:39.560 --> 00:00:42.536 and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner. 00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:43.776 And she said, 00:00:43.800 --> 00:00:46.456 "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? 00:00:46.480 --> 00:00:48.056 If you hear your name called, 00:00:48.080 --> 00:00:50.280 go and pick up your gift and sit down." 00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:53.000 What a wonderful idea, right? 00:00:53.880 --> 00:00:55.096 What could go wrong? 00:00:55.120 --> 00:00:56.640 (Laughter) 00:00:57.400 --> 00:00:59.456 Well, there were 40 of us to start with, 00:00:59.480 --> 00:01:01.936 and every time I heard someone's name called, 00:01:01.960 --> 00:01:03.760 I would give out the heartiest cheer. 00:01:04.280 --> 00:01:06.776 And then there were 20 people left, 00:01:06.800 --> 00:01:08.576 and 10 people left, 00:01:08.600 --> 00:01:09.960 and five left ... 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:11.936 and three left. 00:01:11.960 --> 00:01:13.160 And I was one of them. 00:01:13.720 --> 00:01:15.320 And the compliments stopped. 00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:18.600 Well, at that moment, I was crying. 00:01:20.051 --> 00:01:23.472 And I didn't want to hear "gifts"anymore. 00:01:23.615 --> 00:01:25.297 I didn't want compliments anymore, 00:01:25.329 --> 00:01:28.085 I just wanted to get out of there and sit down. 00:01:28.500 --> 00:01:30.516 And the teacher was freaking out. 00:01:30.540 --> 00:01:34.196 She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?" 00:01:34.219 --> 00:01:35.436 (Laughter) 00:01:35.460 --> 00:01:38.436 "No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down. 00:01:38.460 --> 00:01:39.716 So behave next year -- 00:01:39.740 --> 00:01:41.836 someone might say something nice about you." 00:01:41.860 --> 00:01:43.620 (Laughter) 00:01:44.420 --> 00:01:46.036 Well, as I'm describing this you, 00:01:46.060 --> 00:01:48.436 you probably know I remember this really well. 00:01:48.460 --> 00:01:50.060 (Laughter) 00:01:50.700 --> 00:01:52.796 But I don't know who felt worse that day. 00:01:52.820 --> 00:01:54.996 Was it me or the teacher? 00:01:55.020 --> 00:01:58.156 She must have realized that she turned a team-building event 00:01:58.180 --> 00:02:00.980 into a public roast for three six-year-olds. 00:02:01.700 --> 00:02:02.956 And without the humor. 00:02:02.980 --> 00:02:05.316 You know, when you see people get roasted on TV, 00:02:05.340 --> 00:02:06.556 it was funny. 00:02:06.580 --> 00:02:08.437 There was nothing funny about that day. 00:02:09.220 --> 00:02:12.236 So that was one version of me, 00:02:12.260 --> 00:02:15.756 and I would die to avoid being in that situation again -- 00:02:15.780 --> 00:02:17.660 to get rejected in public again. 00:02:18.340 --> 00:02:19.796 That's one version. 00:02:19.820 --> 00:02:22.276 Then fast-forward eight years. 00:02:22.300 --> 00:02:24.276 Bill Gates came to my hometown -- 00:02:24.300 --> 00:02:25.516 Beijing, China -- 00:02:25.540 --> 00:02:26.756 to speak, 00:02:26.780 --> 00:02:28.516 and I saw his message. 00:02:28.540 --> 00:02:30.836 I fell in love with that guy. 00:02:30.860 --> 00:02:33.756 I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now. 00:02:33.780 --> 00:02:35.916 That night I wrote a letter to my family 00:02:35.940 --> 00:02:38.236 telling them: "By age 25, 00:02:38.260 --> 00:02:40.876 I will build the biggest company in the world, 00:02:40.900 --> 00:02:42.836 and that company will buy Microsoft." 00:02:42.860 --> 00:02:44.756 (Laughter) 00:02:44.780 --> 00:02:47.396 I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world -- 00:02:47.420 --> 00:02:48.620 domination, right? 00:02:49.060 --> 00:02:51.876 And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter. 00:02:51.900 --> 00:02:53.236 And here it is -- 00:02:53.260 --> 00:02:55.236 (Laughter) 00:02:55.260 --> 00:02:57.076 You don't have to read this through -- 00:02:57.100 --> 00:02:58.876 (Laughter) 00:02:58.900 --> 00:03:02.140 This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words. 00:03:03.500 --> 00:03:04.716 You get the idea. 00:03:04.740 --> 00:03:06.516 (Laughter) 00:03:06.540 --> 00:03:07.740 So ... 00:03:09.180 --> 00:03:11.196 that was another version of me: 00:03:11.220 --> 00:03:12.900 one who will conquer the world. 00:03:13.780 --> 00:03:15.236 Well, then two years later, 00:03:15.260 --> 00:03:19.196 I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. 00:03:19.220 --> 00:03:20.796 I jumped on it, 00:03:20.820 --> 00:03:23.036 because that was where Bill Gates lived, right? 00:03:23.060 --> 00:03:24.276 (Laughter) 00:03:24.300 --> 00:03:26.940 I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey. 00:03:27.580 --> 00:03:29.756 Then, fast-forward another 14 years. 00:03:29.780 --> 00:03:31.196 I was 30. 00:03:31.220 --> 00:03:33.596 Nope, I didn't build that company. 00:03:33.620 --> 00:03:35.156 I didn't even start. 00:03:35.180 --> 00:03:39.156 I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. 00:03:39.180 --> 00:03:40.796 And I felt I was stuck; 00:03:40.820 --> 00:03:42.020 I was stagnant. 00:03:42.980 --> 00:03:44.196 Why is that? 00:03:44.220 --> 00:03:46.460 Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? 00:03:47.380 --> 00:03:48.857 It's not because he didn't try. 00:03:49.380 --> 00:03:52.436 It's because every time I had a new idea, 00:03:52.460 --> 00:03:54.436 every time I wanted to try something new, 00:03:54.460 --> 00:03:56.175 even at work -- 00:03:56.200 --> 00:03:57.936 I wanted to make a proposal, 00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:01.496 I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group -- 00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:03.336 I felt there was this constant battle 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:06.136 between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. 00:04:06.360 --> 00:04:08.496 One wanted to conquer the world -- 00:04:08.520 --> 00:04:09.736 make a difference -- 00:04:09.760 --> 00:04:11.880 another was afraid of rejection. 00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:15.080 And every time that six-year-old won. 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:20.935 And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. 00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:24.096 I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 -- 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:25.536 if you want to be Bill Gates, 00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:27.600 you've got to start sooner or later, right? 00:04:28.280 --> 00:04:30.816 When I was an entrepreneur, 00:04:30.840 --> 00:04:33.736 I was presented with an investment opportunity, 00:04:33.760 --> 00:04:35.560 and then I was turned down. 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:37.976 And that rejection hurt me. 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:41.600 It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:43.696 But then I thought, 00:04:43.720 --> 00:04:47.560 hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? 00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:50.976 Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:52.376 No way. 00:04:52.400 --> 00:04:54.376 And this is where it clicked for me. 00:04:54.400 --> 00:04:56.216 OK, I can build a better company. 00:04:56.240 --> 00:04:58.456 I can build a better team or better product, 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:00.016 but one thing for sure: 00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:01.896 I've got to be a better leader. 00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:03.440 I've got to be a better person. 00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:07.296 I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. 00:05:07.320 --> 00:05:09.400 I have to put him back in his place. 00:05:10.200 --> 00:05:12.616 So this is where I went online and looked for help. 00:05:12.640 --> 00:05:13.896 Google was my friend. 00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:15.056 (Laughter) 00:05:15.080 --> 00:05:17.640 I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?" 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:21.016 I came up with a bunch of psychology articles 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:23.896 about where the fear and pain are coming from. 00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:27.216 Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articles 00:05:27.240 --> 00:05:29.621 about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it." 00:05:30.400 --> 00:05:32.056 Who doesn't know that? 00:05:32.080 --> 00:05:33.656 (Laughter) 00:05:33.680 --> 00:05:35.816 But why was I still so scared? 00:05:35.840 --> 00:05:37.856 Then I found this website by luck. 00:05:37.880 --> 00:05:40.256 It's called rejectiontherapy.com. 00:05:40.280 --> 00:05:42.816 (Laughter) 00:05:42.840 --> 00:05:46.776 "Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.496 His name is Jason Comely. 00:05:48.520 --> 00:05:53.616 And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, 00:05:53.640 --> 00:05:55.896 and every day get rejected at something, 00:05:55.920 --> 00:05:59.440 and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. 00:06:00.400 --> 00:06:02.096 And I loved that idea. 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:03.656 (Laughter) 00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:05.816 I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this. 00:06:05.840 --> 00:06:08.856 And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." 00:06:08.880 --> 00:06:11.296 And I came up with my own rejection ideas, 00:06:11.320 --> 00:06:13.800 and I made a video blog out of it. 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:16.736 And so here's what I did. 00:06:16.760 --> 00:06:19.696 This is what the blog looked like. 00:06:20.700 --> 00:06:21.900 Day One ... 00:06:22.500 --> 00:06:23.796 (Laughter) 00:06:23.820 --> 00:06:27.060 Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger. 00:06:28.220 --> 00:06:30.956 So this is where I went to where I was working. 00:06:30.980 --> 00:06:32.716 I came downstairs 00:06:32.740 --> 00:06:34.956 and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. 00:06:34.980 --> 00:06:36.716 He looked like a security guard. 00:06:36.740 --> 00:06:38.276 So I just approached him. 00:06:38.300 --> 00:06:40.036 And I was just walking 00:06:40.060 --> 00:06:42.396 and that was the longest walk of my life -- 00:06:42.420 --> 00:06:44.556 hair on the back of my neck standing up, 00:06:44.580 --> 00:06:47.036 I was sweating and my heart was pounding. 00:06:47.060 --> 00:06:48.276 And I got there and said, 00:06:48.300 --> 00:06:50.956 "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?" 00:06:50.980 --> 00:06:52.316 (Laughter) 00:06:52.340 --> 00:06:54.140 And he looked up, he's like, "No." 00:06:55.140 --> 00:06:56.340 "Why?" 00:06:56.700 --> 00:06:58.996 And I just said, "No? I'm sorry." 00:06:59.020 --> 00:07:00.735 Then I turned around, and I just ran. 00:07:00.759 --> 00:07:02.119 (Laughter) 00:07:03.460 --> 00:07:05.196 I felt so embarrassed. 00:07:05.220 --> 00:07:06.676 But because I filmed myself -- 00:07:06.700 --> 00:07:09.836 so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, 00:07:09.860 --> 00:07:11.956 I just saw how scared I was. 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:14.436 I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." 00:07:14.460 --> 00:07:15.876 I saw dead people. 00:07:15.900 --> 00:07:17.516 (Laughter) 00:07:17.540 --> 00:07:19.076 But then I saw this guy. 00:07:19.100 --> 00:07:20.996 You know, he wasn't that menacing. 00:07:21.020 --> 00:07:23.396 He was a chubby, loveable guy, 00:07:23.420 --> 00:07:26.876 and he even asked me, "Why?" 00:07:26.900 --> 00:07:29.316 In fact, he invited me to explain myself. 00:07:29.340 --> 00:07:30.916 And I could've said many things. 00:07:30.940 --> 00:07:33.236 I could've explained, I could've negotiated. 00:07:33.260 --> 00:07:34.700 I didn't do any of that. 00:07:35.180 --> 00:07:36.700 All I did was run. 00:07:37.660 --> 00:07:40.820 I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life. 00:07:41.420 --> 00:07:43.956 Every time I felt the slightest rejection, 00:07:43.980 --> 00:07:46.116 I would just run as fast as I could. 00:07:46.140 --> 00:07:47.396 And you know what? 00:07:47.420 --> 00:07:49.236 The next day, no matter what happens, 00:07:49.260 --> 00:07:50.756 I'm not going to run. 00:07:50.780 --> 00:07:51.980 I'll stay engaged. 00:07:52.580 --> 00:07:54.636 Day Two: Request a "burger refill." 00:07:54.660 --> 00:07:56.636 (Laughter) 00:07:56.660 --> 00:07:58.956 It's when I went to a burger joint, 00:07:58.980 --> 00:08:01.476 I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said, 00:08:01.500 --> 00:08:03.076 "Hi, can I get a burger refill?" 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:05.276 (Laughter) 00:08:05.300 --> 00:08:07.756 He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?" 00:08:07.780 --> 00:08:09.036 (Laughter) 00:08:09.060 --> 00:08:12.716 I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger." 00:08:12.740 --> 00:08:15.236 And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man." 00:08:15.260 --> 00:08:16.596 (Laughter) 00:08:16.620 --> 00:08:20.676 So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed. 00:08:20.700 --> 00:08:22.836 I said, "Well, I love your burgers, 00:08:22.860 --> 00:08:24.276 I love your joint, 00:08:24.300 --> 00:08:26.396 and if you guys do a burger refill, 00:08:26.420 --> 00:08:27.756 I will love you guys more." 00:08:27.780 --> 00:08:29.036 (Laughter) 00:08:29.060 --> 00:08:31.676 And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it, 00:08:31.700 --> 00:08:34.676 and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today." 00:08:34.700 --> 00:08:36.116 Then I left. 00:08:36.140 --> 00:08:37.996 And by the way, 00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:40.275 I don't think they've ever done burger refill. 00:08:40.299 --> 00:08:41.515 (Laughter) 00:08:41.539 --> 00:08:43.100 I think they're still there. 00:08:43.659 --> 00:08:46.956 But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time 00:08:46.980 --> 00:08:48.316 was no longer there, 00:08:48.340 --> 00:08:50.076 just because I stayed engaged -- 00:08:50.100 --> 00:08:51.716 because I didn't run. 00:08:51.740 --> 00:08:54.100 I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things. 00:08:55.020 --> 00:08:56.236 Great." 00:08:56.260 --> 00:08:58.460 And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. 00:08:59.260 --> 00:09:01.780 This is where my life was turned upside down. 00:09:02.620 --> 00:09:04.236 I went to a Krispy Kreme. 00:09:04.260 --> 00:09:05.476 It's a doughnut shop 00:09:05.500 --> 00:09:08.116 in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. 00:09:08.140 --> 00:09:09.996 I'm sure they have some here, too. 00:09:10.020 --> 00:09:11.275 And I went in, 00:09:11.299 --> 00:09:14.436 I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? 00:09:14.460 --> 00:09:17.356 Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... " 00:09:17.380 --> 00:09:19.620 I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? 00:09:20.140 --> 00:09:22.516 The doughnut maker took me so seriously. 00:09:22.540 --> 00:09:23.756 (Laughter) 00:09:23.780 --> 00:09:24.996 So she put out paper, 00:09:25.020 --> 00:09:27.196 started jotting down the colors and the rings, 00:09:27.220 --> 00:09:29.236 and is like, "How can I make this?" 00:09:29.260 --> 00:09:31.156 And then 15 minutes later, 00:09:31.180 --> 00:09:34.596 she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. 00:09:34.620 --> 00:09:36.276 And I was so touched. 00:09:36.300 --> 00:09:38.436 I just couldn't believe it. 00:09:38.460 --> 00:09:42.220 And that video got over five million views on Youtube. 00:09:42.940 --> 00:09:45.036 The world couldn't believe that either. 00:09:45.060 --> 00:09:47.600 (Laughter) 00:09:47.940 --> 00:09:51.156 You know, because of that I was in newspapers, 00:09:51.180 --> 00:09:52.596 in talk shows, in everything. 00:09:52.620 --> 00:09:54.116 And I became famous. 00:09:54.140 --> 00:09:56.276 A lot of people started writing emails to me 00:09:56.300 --> 00:09:58.836 and saying, "What you're doing is awesome." 00:09:58.860 --> 00:10:02.396 But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. 00:10:02.420 --> 00:10:04.236 What I really wanted to do was learn, 00:10:04.260 --> 00:10:05.476 and to change myself. 00:10:05.500 --> 00:10:08.116 So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection 00:10:08.140 --> 00:10:10.036 into this playground -- 00:10:10.060 --> 00:10:12.196 into this research project. 00:10:12.220 --> 00:10:14.300 I wanted to see what I could learn. 00:10:14.740 --> 00:10:16.516 And then I learned a lot of things. 00:10:16.540 --> 00:10:18.116 I discovered so many secrets. 00:10:18.140 --> 00:10:21.036 For example, I found if I just don't run, 00:10:21.060 --> 00:10:22.316 if I got rejected, 00:10:22.340 --> 00:10:24.396 I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," 00:10:24.420 --> 00:10:26.036 and the magic word is, "why." 00:10:26.060 --> 00:10:30.156 So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand, 00:10:30.180 --> 00:10:31.596 knocked on the door and said, 00:10:31.620 --> 00:10:33.876 "Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?" 00:10:33.900 --> 00:10:35.436 (Laughter) 00:10:35.460 --> 00:10:37.180 And he said, "No." 00:10:38.340 --> 00:10:40.076 But before he could leave I said, 00:10:40.100 --> 00:10:42.036 "Hey, can I know why?" 00:10:42.060 --> 00:10:45.116 And he said, "Well, I have this dog 00:10:45.140 --> 00:10:47.476 that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. 00:10:47.500 --> 00:10:49.156 I don't want to waste your flower. 00:10:49.180 --> 00:10:52.356 If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. 00:10:52.380 --> 00:10:53.596 She loves flowers." 00:10:53.620 --> 00:10:54.836 So that's what I did. 00:10:54.860 --> 00:10:56.916 I went across and knocked on Connie's door. 00:10:56.940 --> 00:10:58.796 And she was so happy to see me. 00:10:58.820 --> 00:11:00.516 (Laughter) 00:11:00.540 --> 00:11:01.916 And then half an hour later, 00:11:01.940 --> 00:11:03.996 there was this flower in Connie's backyard. 00:11:04.020 --> 00:11:05.436 I'm sure it looks better now. 00:11:05.460 --> 00:11:06.756 (Laughter) 00:11:06.780 --> 00:11:09.716 But had I left after the initial rejection, 00:11:09.740 --> 00:11:10.956 I would've thought, 00:11:10.980 --> 00:11:13.036 well, it's because the guy didn't trust me, 00:11:13.060 --> 00:11:14.276 it's because I was crazy, 00:11:14.300 --> 00:11:16.716 because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good. 00:11:16.740 --> 00:11:17.956 It was none of those. 00:11:17.980 --> 00:11:20.676 It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. 00:11:20.700 --> 00:11:22.956 And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral, 00:11:22.980 --> 00:11:24.636 using a sales term. 00:11:24.660 --> 00:11:26.180 I converted a referral. 00:11:27.260 --> 00:11:28.476 Then one day -- 00:11:28.500 --> 00:11:31.396 and I also learned that I can actually say certain things 00:11:31.420 --> 00:11:33.356 and maximize my chance to get a yes. 00:11:33.380 --> 00:11:35.596 So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks, 00:11:35.620 --> 00:11:39.196 and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?" 00:11:39.220 --> 00:11:41.596 He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?" 00:11:41.620 --> 00:11:43.716 I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters? 00:11:43.740 --> 00:11:47.156 You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, 00:11:47.180 --> 00:11:49.396 and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? 00:11:49.420 --> 00:11:52.556 I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers." 00:11:52.580 --> 00:11:54.036 (Laughter) 00:11:54.060 --> 00:11:57.060 Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually -- 00:11:58.300 --> 00:12:00.796 Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. 00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:02.876 And he was like, "Oh" -- 00:12:02.900 --> 00:12:05.156 yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric -- 00:12:05.180 --> 00:12:06.756 and he was like, "I'm not sure." 00:12:06.780 --> 00:12:08.836 This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure." 00:12:08.860 --> 00:12:10.516 Then I ask him, "Is that weird?" 00:12:10.540 --> 00:12:12.580 He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man." 00:12:13.500 --> 00:12:16.356 But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. 00:12:16.380 --> 00:12:19.316 It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. 00:12:19.340 --> 00:12:21.076 And he said, "Yeah, you can do this, 00:12:21.100 --> 00:12:22.356 just don't get too weird." 00:12:22.380 --> 00:12:23.796 (Laughter) 00:12:23.820 --> 00:12:26.196 So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter. 00:12:26.220 --> 00:12:28.356 I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, 00:12:28.380 --> 00:12:30.756 and gave them holiday cheers. 00:12:30.780 --> 00:12:33.436 By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is, 00:12:33.460 --> 00:12:34.676 don't be a greeter. 00:12:34.700 --> 00:12:35.916 (Laughter) 00:12:35.940 --> 00:12:37.140 It was really boring. 00:12:37.900 --> 00:12:42.836 But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?" 00:12:42.860 --> 00:12:44.996 I mentioned the doubt that he was having. 00:12:45.020 --> 00:12:48.556 And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird. 00:12:48.580 --> 00:12:51.116 That means I was actually thinking just like him, 00:12:51.140 --> 00:12:53.516 seeing this as a weird thing. 00:12:53.540 --> 00:12:54.796 And again, and again, 00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:57.956 I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have 00:12:57.980 --> 00:12:59.796 before I ask the question, 00:12:59.820 --> 00:13:01.076 I gained their trust. 00:13:01.100 --> 00:13:03.060 People were more likely to say yes to me. 00:13:03.500 --> 00:13:06.836 And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ... 00:13:06.860 --> 00:13:08.276 by asking. 00:13:08.300 --> 00:13:11.396 You know, I came from four generations of teachers, 00:13:11.420 --> 00:13:14.236 and my grandma has always told me, 00:13:14.260 --> 00:13:16.556 "Hey Jia, you can do anything you want, 00:13:16.580 --> 00:13:18.636 but it'd be great if you became a teacher." 00:13:18.660 --> 00:13:20.076 (Laughter) 00:13:20.100 --> 00:13:22.356 But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't. 00:13:22.380 --> 00:13:25.756 But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. 00:13:25.780 --> 00:13:27.596 So I said, "What if I just ask 00:13:27.620 --> 00:13:30.236 and teach a college class?" 00:13:30.260 --> 00:13:31.716 I lived in Austin at the time, 00:13:31.740 --> 00:13:33.796 so I went to University of Texas at Austin 00:13:33.820 --> 00:13:37.036 and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?" 00:13:37.060 --> 00:13:39.556 I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times. 00:13:39.580 --> 00:13:42.076 But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it -- 00:13:42.100 --> 00:13:45.436 and on the third try the professor was very impressed. 00:13:45.460 --> 00:13:47.516 He was like, "No one has done this before." 00:13:47.540 --> 00:13:51.556 And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson. 00:13:51.580 --> 00:13:53.636 He said, "Wow, I can use this. 00:13:53.660 --> 00:13:56.996 Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum." 00:13:57.020 --> 00:13:59.000 And two months later I was teaching a class. 00:14:00.140 --> 00:14:03.396 This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture. 00:14:03.420 --> 00:14:06.196 You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know? 00:14:06.220 --> 00:14:07.420 (Laughter) 00:14:08.380 --> 00:14:09.596 But wow -- 00:14:09.620 --> 00:14:12.356 when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying, 00:14:12.380 --> 00:14:14.156 because I thought 00:14:14.180 --> 00:14:17.476 I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. 00:14:17.500 --> 00:14:20.156 I used to think I have to accomplish all these things -- 00:14:20.180 --> 00:14:23.796 have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach -- 00:14:23.820 --> 00:14:25.356 but no, I just asked, 00:14:25.380 --> 00:14:26.580 and I could teach. 00:14:27.100 --> 00:14:29.476 And in that picture, which you can't see, 00:14:29.500 --> 00:14:32.796 I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. 00:14:32.820 --> 00:14:37.356 Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, 00:14:37.380 --> 00:14:40.316 who change the way we live and the way we think, 00:14:40.340 --> 00:14:44.436 are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. 00:14:44.460 --> 00:14:46.516 People like Martin Luther King, Jr., 00:14:46.540 --> 00:14:48.596 like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, 00:14:48.620 --> 00:14:50.156 or even Jesus Christ. 00:14:50.180 --> 00:14:53.556 These people did not let rejection define them. 00:14:53.580 --> 00:14:57.740 They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. 00:14:58.620 --> 00:15:00.180 And they embraced rejection. 00:15:01.060 --> 00:15:04.276 And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, 00:15:04.300 --> 00:15:05.556 and in my case, 00:15:05.580 --> 00:15:07.596 rejection was my curse, 00:15:07.620 --> 00:15:08.876 was my boogeyman. 00:15:08.900 --> 00:15:13.076 It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. 00:15:13.100 --> 00:15:14.820 Then I started embracing it. 00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:18.320 I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. 00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:23.576 I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. 00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:25.616 I use my blog, I use my talk, 00:15:25.640 --> 00:15:27.536 I use the book I just published, 00:15:27.560 --> 00:15:32.120 and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection. 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.736 When you get rejected in life, 00:15:35.760 --> 00:15:37.976 when you are facing the next obstacle 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:40.016 or next failure, 00:15:40.040 --> 00:15:41.856 consider the possibilities. 00:15:41.880 --> 00:15:43.096 Don't run. 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:44.336 If you just embrace them, 00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:46.440 they might become your gifts as well. 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:48.176 Thank you. 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:52.544 (Applause)