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[Ridgewood--Queens]

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["New York Close Up"]

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["Jamian Juliano-Villani Gets to work"]

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It's a very simple routine:

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I come in,

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reheat my coffee,

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go on to computer, look at stuff,

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clean my brushes,

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and then I get to work.

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I've not had time off since I started,[br]which is crazy.

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Once you have a deadline[br]it's like impending doom.

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It's like a pimp!

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Constantly, like you owe someone something.

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Stress assassinates creativity.

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If you make a bad painting[br]and your job is an artist,

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it's like the worst.

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It's mortifying.

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It's like having chocolate all over your face[br]or something--

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and you're going to some gala.

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You're only as good as your last painting--

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which sucks--

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but, you know, it's kind of the truth.

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I was growing up in the middle of nowhere,[br]in New Jersey.

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And I just wanted to get out of New Jersey[br]and get to New York immediately.

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New York is where it seemed like all[br]the artists went to be artists.

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["Painters Painting"][br]

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I was watching "Painters Painting"--

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Stella i Rauschenberg[br]and blah blah blah,

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and they're all in New York, you know--

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sitting on ladders, covered in paint.

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For me as a teenager, it was amazing.

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"That's..."

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"That's it!"[br]You know?

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Now I romanticize it less

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because coming to New York[br]and starting to be in the art world thing--

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it's insane!

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I had a million shitty jobs.

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Overnight shift diner waitress.

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I worked at a group home.

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Taught gymnastics.

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Kindergarten teacher.

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I organized books for a marine[br]who was obsessed with ships.

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I was commuting back and forth[br]from working at a restaurant in New Jersey.

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so I could get my first apartment in New York.

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I was basically painting on top of my bed,

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staying up every other night to paint.

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Slowly, I got a slightly bigger room--

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and then I got a slightly bigger room.

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Three years ago,[br]I actually got my first real studio ever.

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That was like Christmas, every day.

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--Terrible.

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The paintings, I think, are...

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They're tricky,

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You need to make them better,[br]make them weirder

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make them smarter,[br]make them dumber.

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You just paint a snowman[br]in the desert...

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That's it? Really?

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Like, there's no other step,[br]you know?

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It's like some stupid one-liner?

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I have a sense of humor[br]and a really light way to approach something.

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Just come up with a joke,

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and then from there,[br]how can you offset that,

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so it's like [br]psychological or personal?

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It's like ping pong[br]back and forth, back and forth,

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until it's just[br]all these things going like this,

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negating itself.

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A lot of weird decisions just happen here[br]by myself

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in the middle of the night.

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But also a lot of it is talking to other people.

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If you have all these voices [br]coming here,

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it's less of a one-person lecture.

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[Ajay Kurian, Artist]

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Across the hall is Ajay,

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who is an amazing artist.

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Man, he saved my ass so many times[br]with so many shows.

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"Uh, can you give me a minute[br]and we could like, um..."

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"You could just give me moral support please? Thanks."

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--I'm thinking like a very very, super light,[br]pale teal kind of colors.

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--Blue, or very very pale purple.

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--Purple is probably better?

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--Like cool purple.

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[KURIAN][br]--Like lavender, or?

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[JULIANO-VILLANI][br]--Cool ass purple.

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[KURIAN][br]--I could see that.

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[JULIANO-VILLANI][br]--Right.

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--Or like a...

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[KURIAN][br]--Is that a vase or a mirror?

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[JULIANO-VILLANI][br]--Who the fuck knows?

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--It will be a mirror.

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[KURIAN][br]--Okay.

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[JULIANO-VILLANI][br]--Hmm...

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--Fuck.

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One of my friends was telling me,

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"Just put some crap in there,[br]no one can tell."

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I was like, "Thanks, jerk!"

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[Inhales sharply]

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But I can definitely tell.

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Because these are supposed to be confident.

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I just turned 30.

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I mean, I chainsmoke--[br]like, you know, a pack and a half a day.

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I drink a lot.

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My sleeping habits are terrible.

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I eat garbage.

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This is just a vessel,[br]you know what I mean?

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The past couple of years, I had so much stamina

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and just kept on working and pumping.

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And now, it's like, when it actually matters,

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I got to make sure I still have it.

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I think the main pressure is[br]maintaining integrity

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and making work that you feel good about--

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even under pressure,[br]which is really difficult.

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I really want to push the paintings--

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and I don't know how yet,[br]but hopefully I'll figure it out

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and make them something[br]that they aren't yet.

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I know I'm going to make some, like,

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embarrassing, bad sculptures[br]or videos or something.

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But, like, fuck it,[br]I got to do it,

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now is the time--

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while I have the energy.