1 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:02,940 [Ridgewood--Queens] 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,720 ["New York Close Up"] 3 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,880 ["Jamian Juliano-Villani Kreće na posao"] 4 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,600 To je jednostavna rutina: 5 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,580 ulazim, 6 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,100 podgrijem kavu, 7 00:00:21,109 --> 00:00:23,369 sjednem za kompjuter, pogledam stvari 8 00:00:23,369 --> 00:00:24,580 očistim svoje kistove, 9 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:28,000 i onda krenem na posao. 10 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:40,320 Nisam imala slobodnog vremena otkad sam započela, što je ludo. 11 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:53,180 Jednom kada imate rokove, to je kao predstojeća osuda na propast 12 00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:54,300 Kao svodnik! 13 00:00:54,690 --> 00:00:56,960 Kao da stalno dugujete nekome nešto. 14 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,180 Stres ubija kreativnost. 15 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,740 Ako napravite lošu sliku a vaš je posao umjetnik 16 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,500 to je nešto najgore. 17 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:10,500 To je sramotno. 18 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,560 Kao da imaš čokoladu po cijelom licu ili tako nešto-- 19 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,740 i ideš na neku gala večeru. 20 00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:19,580 Ti si dobar onoliko koliko je tvoja zadnja slika-- 21 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,200 što je loše-- 22 00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:23,800 ali, znate, to je neki oblik istine. 23 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,320 Odrastala sam usred ničega, u New Jerseyu. 24 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:38,120 i samo sam željela otići iz New Jerseya i odmah doći u New York. 25 00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:44,540 Činilo se da je New York mjesto gdje su svi umjetnici odlazili postati umjetnici. 26 00:01:44,549 --> 00:01:45,549 ["Painters Painting"] 27 00:01:45,549 --> 00:01:47,090 Gledala sam "Painters Painting"-- 28 00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:49,649 Stella i Rauschenberg i bla bla bla, 29 00:01:49,649 --> 00:01:51,329 i svi su oni, znate, u New Yorku-- 30 00:01:51,329 --> 00:01:53,020 i sjede na ljestvama, prekriveni bojom. 31 00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:55,340 Za mene kao tinejđerku, to je bilo čudesno. 32 00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:56,780 "To je..." 33 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,720 "To je to!" Razumijete? 34 00:01:59,140 --> 00:02:00,460 Sada to manje idealiziram 35 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:05,250 jer dolazak u New York i sam ulazak u umjetnički svijet-- 36 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,240 to je ludo! 37 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,259 Imala sam mali milijun loših poslova. 38 00:02:10,259 --> 00:02:12,020 Konobarica u noćnoj smjeni. 39 00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:13,380 Radila sam u društvenom domu. 40 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,580 Podučavala gimnastiku. 41 00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:15,810 Učiteljica u vrtiću. 42 00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:20,900 Uređivala knjige za marinca koji je bio opsjednut brodovima. 43 00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:24,790 Putovala sam na posao i nazad od posla u restoranu u New Jerseyu. 44 00:02:24,790 --> 00:02:27,200 pa sam mogla dobiti svoj prvi stan u New Yorku. 45 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,440 Zapravo sam slikala na krevetu 46 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,460 i bila budna svaku noć kako bi slikala. 47 00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:33,660 Polako sam dobila malo veću sobu-- 48 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,520 i onda sam dobila malo veću sobu. 49 00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:39,630 Prije tri godine, dobila sam moj prvi pravi studio ikada. 50 00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:42,000 To je bilo kao Božić, svaki dan. 51 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,760 --Užasno. 52 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,640 Slike su, mislim... 53 00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:57,060 One su nezgodne, 54 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,300 Trebaš ih napraviti boljima, napraviti čudnijma 55 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,240 napraviti ih pametnijima, napraviti ih glupljima. 56 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,280 Samo naslikaš snjegovića u pustinji... 57 00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,740 To je to? Zbilja? 58 00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,380 Kao da nema drugog koraka, znate? 59 00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:21,020 Je li to kao kratak vic? 60 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,900 Imam smisao za humor i vrlo lak način pristupa nečemu. 61 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,030 Upravo sam izmislila vic, 62 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:30,480 i onda od tamo kako možeš to izjednačiti, 63 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,380 da bude psihološko ili osobno? 64 00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:35,700 To je kao ping pong naprijed i natrag, naprijed i natrag, 65 00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:38,630 dok nisu samo sve te stvari koje idu ovako 66 00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:39,880 negirajući sebe. 67 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,560 Donijela sam mnogo čudnih odluka baš ovdje 68 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,901 usred noći. 69 00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:47,120 Ali puno od toga je razgovor s drugim ljudima. 70 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,060 Ako imaš sve te drugačije glasove koji ulaze, 71 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:52,720 manje je od pradavanja jedne osobe. 72 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,520 [Ajay Kurian, Umjetnik] 73 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,880 Preko puta hodnika je Ajay, 74 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,440 koji je izvanredan umjetnik 75 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:08,200 Spasio me toliko puta 76 00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:10,780 "Uh, can you give me a minute and we could like, um..." 77 00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:12,800 "You could just give me moral support please? Thanks." 78 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:18,340 --I'm thinking like a very very, super light, pale teal kind of colors. 79 00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:20,600 --Blue, or very very pale purple. 80 00:04:21,580 --> 00:04:23,020 --Purple is probably better? 81 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,660 --Like cool purple. 82 00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:26,720 [KURIAN] --Like lavender, or? 83 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,960 [JULIANO-VILLANI] --Cool ass purple. 84 00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:29,720 [KURIAN] --I could see that. 85 00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:30,360 [JULIANO-VILLANI] --Right. 86 00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:32,620 --Or like a... 87 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,100 [KURIAN] --Is that a vase or a mirror? 88 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,830 [JULIANO-VILLANI] --Who the fuck knows? 89 00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,180 --It will be a mirror. 90 00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:37,940 [KURIAN] --Okay. 91 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:38,720 [JULIANO-VILLANI] --Hmm... 92 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:42,760 --Fuck. 93 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,920 One of my friends was telling me, 94 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,840 "Just put some crap in there, no one can tell." 95 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,120 I was like, "Thanks, jerk!" 96 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,120 [Inhales sharply] 97 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,360 But I can definitely tell. 98 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,220 Because these are supposed to be confident. 99 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,310 I just turned 30. 100 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,693 I mean, I chainsmoke-- like, you know, a pack and a half a day. 101 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,920 I drink a lot. 102 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,000 My sleeping habits are terrible. 103 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:10,290 I eat garbage. 104 00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:12,540 This is just a vessel, you know what I mean? 105 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,900 The past couple of years, I had so much stamina 106 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,700 and just kept on working and pumping. 107 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:22,160 And now, it's like, when it actually matters, 108 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,800 I got to make sure I still have it. 109 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,030 I think the main pressure is maintaining integrity 110 00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:28,930 and making work that you feel good about-- 111 00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:31,440 even under pressure, which is really difficult. 112 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,580 I really want to push the paintings-- 113 00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:38,320 and I don't know how yet, but hopefully I'll figure it out 114 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,780 and make them something that they aren't yet. 115 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,640 I know I'm going to make some, like, 116 00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,760 embarrassing, bad sculptures or videos or something. 117 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,260 But, like, fuck it, I got to do it, 118 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,380 now is the time-- 119 00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:51,760 while I have the energy.