WEBVTT 00:00:01.260 --> 00:00:02.909 If you're still struggling with consent, 00:00:02.930 --> 00:00:05.240 just imagine instead of initiating sex, 00:00:05.269 --> 00:00:07.044 you're making them a cup of tea. 00:00:07.463 --> 00:00:09.359 You say: "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?" 00:00:09.402 --> 00:00:12.084 and they go: "Oh my god, yes! 00:00:12.084 --> 00:00:14.886 I would fucking love a cup of tea!" 00:00:15.597 --> 00:00:17.058 Then you know they want a cup of tea. 00:00:18.186 --> 00:00:20.736 If you say: "Would you like a cup of tea?" 00:00:20.736 --> 00:00:24.185 And they're like: "I'm not really sure." 00:00:24.185 --> 00:00:25.835 Then you could make them a cup of tea, 00:00:25.865 --> 00:00:27.525 or not, but be aware: 00:00:27.525 --> 00:00:29.066 They might not drink it. 00:00:29.076 --> 00:00:31.348 And if they don't drink it, then - 00:00:31.348 --> 00:00:33.289 - and this is the important part - 00:00:33.289 --> 00:00:35.682 - don't make them drink it. 00:00:35.682 --> 00:00:37.586 Just because you made it doesn't mean 00:00:37.586 --> 00:00:39.112 you're entitled to watch them drink it. 00:00:39.732 --> 00:00:41.669 And if they say "no, thank you." 00:00:41.669 --> 00:00:44.605 then don't make them tea, at all. 00:00:44.605 --> 00:00:46.537 Just don't make them tea. 00:00:46.537 --> 00:00:47.723 Don't make them drink tea, 00:00:47.723 --> 00:00:48.709 don't get annoyed at them 00:00:48.709 --> 00:00:50.279 for not wanting tea, 00:00:50.279 --> 00:00:52.915 they just don't want tea, ok? 00:00:52.915 --> 00:00:55.452 They might say: "Yes please, 00:00:55.452 --> 00:00:56.791 That's kind of you" 00:00:56.791 --> 00:00:58.406 And then when the tea arrives, 00:00:58.406 --> 00:01:00.244 they actually don't want the tea at all. 00:01:00.244 --> 00:01:01.986 Sure that's kind of annyoing as you've 00:01:01.986 --> 00:01:04.423 gone all the effort of making the tea, 00:01:04.423 --> 00:01:07.763 but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. 00:01:08.413 --> 00:01:10.424 They did want tea, now they don't. 00:01:10.424 --> 00:01:11.988 Some people change their mind in the time 00:01:11.988 --> 00:01:14.191 it takes to boil the kettle, brew the tea 00:01:14.191 --> 00:01:15.333 and add the milk. 00:01:15.333 --> 00:01:17.510 And it's ok for people to change their mind 00:01:17.510 --> 00:01:19.449 and you are still not entitled to watch 00:01:19.449 --> 00:01:20.859 them drink it. 00:01:20.859 --> 00:01:23.663 And if they're unconscious, don't make them tea. 00:01:23.663 --> 00:01:25.848 Unconscious people don't want tea and they 00:01:25.848 --> 00:01:28.622 can't answer the question "do you want tea?" 00:01:28.622 --> 00:01:31.097 because they're unconscious. 00:01:31.097 --> 00:01:33.049 Ok, maybe they were conscious when you 00:01:33.049 --> 00:01:34.725 asked them if they wanted tea and they 00:01:34.725 --> 00:01:36.697 said yes, but in the time it took you to 00:01:36.697 --> 00:01:38.051 boil the kettle, brew the tea and 00:01:38.051 --> 00:01:40.964 add the milk, they are now unconscious. 00:01:40.964 --> 00:01:42.673 You should just put the tea down, 00:01:42.673 --> 00:01:45.166 make sure the unconscious person is safe. 00:01:45.166 --> 00:01:47.280 And this is the important part again: 00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:49.946 Don't make them drink the tea! 00:01:49.946 --> 00:01:53.314 They said yes then, but unconscious people 00:01:53.314 --> 00:01:55.451 don't want tea. 00:01:55.451 --> 00:01:57.728 If someone said yes to tea, started 00:01:57.728 --> 00:01:59.002 drinking it and then passed out 00:01:59.002 --> 00:02:00.964 before they finished it, don't keep on 00:02:00.964 --> 00:02:02.955 pouring it down their throat. 00:02:02.955 --> 00:02:05.357 Take the tea away, make sure they're safe. 00:02:05.357 --> 00:02:09.990 Because unconscious people don't want tea, trust me. 00:02:10.440 --> 00:02:11.720 If someone said yes to tea around your 00:02:11.720 --> 00:02:14.189 house last saturday, that doesn't mean they want 00:02:14.189 --> 00:02:16.439 you to make them tea all the time. 00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:17.399 They don't want you to come around at their 00:02:17.399 --> 00:02:19.486 place unexpectedly and make them tea, 00:02:19.486 --> 00:02:21.002 force them to drink it, going: 00:02:21.002 --> 00:02:22.852 "But you wanted tea last week" 00:02:22.852 --> 00:02:24.715 Or to wake up to find you pouring 00:02:24.715 --> 00:02:25.717 tea down their throat, going: 00:02:25.717 --> 00:02:28.183 "But you wanted tea last night" 00:02:28.183 --> 00:02:29.377 If you can understand how completely 00:02:29.377 --> 00:02:31.180 ludicrous it is to force people to have 00:02:31.180 --> 00:02:32.714 tea when they don't want tea, and 00:02:32.714 --> 00:02:34.347 you're able to understand when people 00:02:34.347 --> 00:02:36.496 don't want tea, then how hard is it to 00:02:36.496 --> 00:02:39.081 understand when it comes to sex? 00:02:39.343 --> 00:02:41.402 Wether it's tea or sex, 00:02:41.402 --> 00:02:43.821 consent is everything. 00:02:43.821 --> 00:02:45.631 And on that note, I'm going to go 00:02:45.631 --> 00:02:47.316 make myself a cup of tea.