1 00:00:01,260 --> 00:00:02,909 If you're still struggling with consent, 2 00:00:02,930 --> 00:00:05,240 just imagine instead of initiating sex, 3 00:00:05,269 --> 00:00:07,044 you're making them a cup of tea. 4 00:00:07,463 --> 00:00:09,359 You say: "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?" 5 00:00:09,402 --> 00:00:12,084 and they go: "Oh my god, yes! 6 00:00:12,084 --> 00:00:14,886 I would fucking love a cup of tea!" 7 00:00:15,597 --> 00:00:17,058 Then you know they want a cup of tea. 8 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,736 If you say: "Would you like a cup of tea?" 9 00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:24,185 And they're like: "I'm not really sure." 10 00:00:24,185 --> 00:00:25,835 Then you could make them a cup of tea, 11 00:00:25,865 --> 00:00:27,525 or not, but be aware: 12 00:00:27,525 --> 00:00:29,066 They might not drink it. 13 00:00:29,076 --> 00:00:31,348 And if they don't drink it, then - 14 00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:33,289 - and this is the important part - 15 00:00:33,289 --> 00:00:35,682 - don't make them drink it. 16 00:00:35,682 --> 00:00:37,586 Just because you made it doesn't mean 17 00:00:37,586 --> 00:00:39,112 you're entitled to watch them drink it. 18 00:00:39,732 --> 00:00:41,669 And if they say "no, thank you." 19 00:00:41,669 --> 00:00:44,605 then don't make them tea, at all. 20 00:00:44,605 --> 00:00:46,537 Just don't make them tea. 21 00:00:46,537 --> 00:00:47,723 Don't make them drink tea, 22 00:00:47,723 --> 00:00:48,709 don't get annoyed at them 23 00:00:48,709 --> 00:00:50,279 for not wanting tea, 24 00:00:50,279 --> 00:00:52,915 they just don't want tea, ok? 25 00:00:52,915 --> 00:00:55,452 They might say: "Yes please, 26 00:00:55,452 --> 00:00:56,791 That's kind of you" 27 00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:58,406 And then when the tea arrives, 28 00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,244 they actually don't want the tea at all. 29 00:01:00,244 --> 00:01:01,986 Sure that's kind of annyoing as you've 30 00:01:01,986 --> 00:01:04,423 gone all the effort of making the tea, 31 00:01:04,423 --> 00:01:07,763 but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. 32 00:01:08,413 --> 00:01:10,424 They did want tea, now they don't. 33 00:01:10,424 --> 00:01:11,988 Some people change their mind in the time 34 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,191 it takes to boil the kettle, brew the tea 35 00:01:14,191 --> 00:01:15,333 and add the milk. 36 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,510 And it's ok for people to change their mind 37 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,449 and you are still not entitled to watch 38 00:01:19,449 --> 00:01:20,859 them drink it. 39 00:01:20,859 --> 00:01:23,663 And if they're unconscious, don't make them tea. 40 00:01:23,663 --> 00:01:25,848 Unconscious people don't want tea and they 41 00:01:25,848 --> 00:01:28,622 can't answer the question "do you want tea?" 42 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,097 because they're unconscious. 43 00:01:31,097 --> 00:01:33,049 Ok, maybe they were conscious when you 44 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:34,725 asked them if they wanted tea and they 45 00:01:34,725 --> 00:01:36,697 said yes, but in the time it took you to 46 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,051 boil the kettle, brew the tea and 47 00:01:38,051 --> 00:01:40,964 add the milk, they are now unconscious. 48 00:01:40,964 --> 00:01:42,673 You should just put the tea down, 49 00:01:42,673 --> 00:01:45,166 make sure the unconscious person is safe. 50 00:01:45,166 --> 00:01:47,280 And this is the important part again: 51 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,946 Don't make them drink the tea! 52 00:01:49,946 --> 00:01:53,314 They said yes then, but unconscious people 53 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,451 don't want tea. 54 00:01:55,451 --> 00:01:57,728 If someone said yes to tea, started 55 00:01:57,728 --> 00:01:59,002 drinking it and then passed out 56 00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:00,964 before they finished it, don't keep on 57 00:02:00,964 --> 00:02:02,955 pouring it down their throat. 58 00:02:02,955 --> 00:02:05,357 Take the tea away, make sure they're safe. 59 00:02:05,357 --> 00:02:09,990 Because unconscious people don't want tea, trust me. 60 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:11,720 If someone said yes to tea around your 61 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,189 house last saturday, that doesn't mean they want 62 00:02:14,189 --> 00:02:16,439 you to make them tea all the time. 63 00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:17,399 They don't want you to come around at their 64 00:02:17,399 --> 00:02:19,486 place unexpectedly and make them tea, 65 00:02:19,486 --> 00:02:21,002 force them to drink it, going: 66 00:02:21,002 --> 00:02:22,852 "But you wanted tea last week" 67 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,715 Or to wake up to find you pouring 68 00:02:24,715 --> 00:02:25,717 tea down their throat, going: 69 00:02:25,717 --> 00:02:28,183 "But you wanted tea last night" 70 00:02:28,183 --> 00:02:29,377 If you can understand how completely 71 00:02:29,377 --> 00:02:31,180 ludicrous it is to force people to have 72 00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:32,714 tea when they don't want tea, and 73 00:02:32,714 --> 00:02:34,347 you're able to understand when people 74 00:02:34,347 --> 00:02:36,496 don't want tea, then how hard is it to 75 00:02:36,496 --> 00:02:39,081 understand when it comes to sex? 76 00:02:39,343 --> 00:02:41,402 Wether it's tea or sex, 77 00:02:41,402 --> 00:02:43,821 consent is everything. 78 00:02:43,821 --> 00:02:45,631 And on that note, I'm going to go 79 00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:47,316 make myself a cup of tea.