1 00:00:00,639 --> 00:00:03,059 If you're still struggling with consent, 2 00:00:03,089 --> 00:00:05,358 just imagine instead of initiating sex, 3 00:00:05,448 --> 00:00:07,539 you're making them a cup of tea, 4 00:00:07,539 --> 00:00:09,329 You say, "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?" 5 00:00:09,469 --> 00:00:11,559 And they go, "Oh my god. Fuck yes! 6 00:00:11,659 --> 00:00:14,349 I would fucking love a cup of tea! Thank you!" 7 00:00:15,171 --> 00:00:17,761 Then you know they want a cup of tea. 8 00:00:18,137 --> 00:00:20,777 If you say, "Would you like a cup of tea?" 9 00:00:20,817 --> 00:00:23,217 And they're like, "Uhh... I'm not really sure. 10 00:00:23,577 --> 00:00:26,457 Then you could make them a cup of tea, or not, 11 00:00:26,577 --> 00:00:28,857 but be aware they might not drink it. 12 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,237 And if they don't drink it, then- 13 00:00:31,237 --> 00:00:32,917 and this is the important part- 14 00:00:33,217 --> 00:00:35,037 DON'T make them drink it. 15 00:00:35,267 --> 00:00:36,457 Just because you made it 16 00:00:36,507 --> 00:00:38,047 doesn't mean you are entitled 17 00:00:38,047 --> 00:00:39,547 to watch them drink it. 18 00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:41,607 And if they say, "No, thank you." 19 00:00:41,837 --> 00:00:43,307 Then, don't make them tea, 20 00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:44,157 at all. 21 00:00:44,637 --> 00:00:46,197 Just don't make them tea. 22 00:00:46,287 --> 00:00:47,447 Don't make them drink tea. 23 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:48,697 Don't get annoyed at them 24 00:00:48,697 --> 00:00:50,057 for not wanting tea. 25 00:00:50,057 --> 00:00:52,137 They just don't want tea, okay? 26 00:00:52,717 --> 00:00:55,337 They might say, "Yes, please! 27 00:00:55,337 --> 00:00:56,767 That's kind of you. 28 00:00:56,817 --> 00:00:58,347 And then when the tea arrives, 29 00:00:58,377 --> 00:01:00,087 they actually don't want the tea at all. 30 00:01:00,237 --> 00:01:01,587 Sure, that's kind of annoying, 31 00:01:01,657 --> 00:01:03,347 as you'd gone all the effort of making the tea, 32 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:06,957 but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. 33 00:01:07,557 --> 00:01:10,257 They did want tea; now they don't. 34 00:01:10,377 --> 00:01:11,747 Some people change their mind 35 00:01:11,757 --> 00:01:14,237 in the time that it takes to boil the kettle, brew the tea 36 00:01:14,287 --> 00:01:15,447 and add the milk. 37 00:01:15,447 --> 00:01:17,317 And it's okay for people to change their mind. 38 00:01:17,617 --> 00:01:18,977 And you are still not entitled 39 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,067 to watch them drink it. 40 00:01:20,537 --> 00:01:23,197 And if they're unconscious, don't make them tea. 41 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,277 Unconscious people don't want tea. 42 00:01:25,597 --> 00:01:27,067 And they can't answer the question: 43 00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:28,247 "Do you want tea?" 44 00:01:28,537 --> 00:01:29,837 Because they're unconscious. 45 00:01:31,087 --> 00:01:32,637 Okay, maybe they were conscious 46 00:01:32,637 --> 00:01:34,597 when you asked them if they wanted tea 47 00:01:34,597 --> 00:01:35,637 and they said yes, 48 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:36,787 but in the time it took you 49 00:01:36,787 --> 00:01:38,347 to boil the kettle, brew the tea, 50 00:01:38,347 --> 00:01:40,577 and add the milk, they are now unconscious. 51 00:01:40,717 --> 00:01:42,177 You should just put the tea down. 52 00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:44,497 Make sure the unconscious person is safe. 53 00:01:44,607 --> 00:01:46,777 And this is the important part again: 54 00:01:46,957 --> 00:01:49,077 Don't make them drink the tea. 55 00:01:49,227 --> 00:01:51,417 They said 'yes' then, sure, 56 00:01:51,677 --> 00:01:54,217 but unconscious people don't want tea. 57 00:01:54,477 --> 00:01:56,717 If someone said yes to tea, 58 00:01:56,977 --> 00:01:58,277 started drinking it, 59 00:01:58,407 --> 00:02:00,137 and then passed out before they've finished it, 60 00:02:00,377 --> 00:02:02,577 don't keep on pouring it down their throat. 61 00:02:02,917 --> 00:02:05,217 Take the tea away, make sure they're safe. 62 00:02:05,357 --> 00:02:08,077 Because unconscious people don't want tea. 63 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,777 Trust me on this. 64 00:02:09,887 --> 00:02:11,347 If someone said yes to tea 65 00:02:11,347 --> 00:02:13,167 around your house last Saturday, 66 00:02:13,197 --> 00:02:14,547 that doesn't mean they want you 67 00:02:14,547 --> 00:02:16,367 to make them tea all the time. 68 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,707 They don't want you to come around at their place 69 00:02:17,707 --> 00:02:19,647 unexpectedly and make them tea 70 00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:21,057 and force them to drink it, going, 71 00:02:21,117 --> 00:02:22,517 "But you wanted tea last week!" 72 00:02:22,777 --> 00:02:24,677 Or to wake up to find you pouring tea 73 00:02:24,757 --> 00:02:25,927 down their throat, going, 74 00:02:25,987 --> 00:02:27,357 "But you wanted tea last night!" 75 00:02:27,437 --> 00:02:29,627 If you can understand how completely 76 00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,027 ludicrous it is to force people 77 00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:32,947 to have tea when they don't want tea, 78 00:02:32,947 --> 00:02:34,117 and you're able to understand 79 00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:35,837 when people don't want tea, 80 00:02:35,837 --> 00:02:37,707 then how hard is it to understand it 81 00:02:37,797 --> 00:02:38,937 when it comes to sex? 82 00:02:39,177 --> 00:02:40,577 Whether it's tea or sex, 83 00:02:40,737 --> 00:02:42,537 consent is everything. 84 00:02:42,797 --> 00:02:44,577 And on that note, 85 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,277 I'm going to go make myself a cup of tea.