Imagine if marriage didn't exist,

and you're a guy, and you ask a woman to get married.
Imagine what that conversation would be like.

You'd be like "Hey, so, um, 
you know, we've been hangin' out together all the time,

spending a lot of time together and everything."

[<i>In woman's voice.</i>]
"Yeah yeah, I know."

[<i>In man's voice</i>] 
"I wanna keep doin' that 'til you're dead."

[<i> Audience laughs.</i> ]

[<i>Imitating woman</i>] "Wh--what??"

[<i>As man</i>] "I wanna keep hangin' out 
with you 'til one of us dies."

[ <i>Audience laughs.</i> ]

[<i>As man</i>] "Put this ring on your finger
so people know we have an arrangement."

[ <i>Audience laughs.</i> ]

[<i>As woman</i>] 
"Wh...wh... who's that guy?"

[<i>As man</i>] "He's a priest.

"I want you to swear to God
you won't back out of this deal."

[ <i>Audience laughs and applauds.</i> ]

[<i>As woman</i>]
"Wh... what's he wheeling in?"

[<i>As man</i>] 
"It's a cake with two tiny dolls that look like us."

[ <i>Audience laughs.</i> ]

"EAT A SLICE!!!"

[ <i>Audience laughs.</i> ]

"Now feed a little bit to me!" 
[<i>Munching noises.</i>] [<i>Audience laughs.</i>]

[<i>As woman</i>] 
[Sobbing.] "This is really strange!"

"Why are we doing this??"

[<i>As man</i>] 
"Tax purposes."

[ <i>Audience laughs and applauds.</i> ]