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Imagine if marriage didn't exist,
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and you're a guy, and you ask a woman to get married.
Imagine what that conversation would be like.
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You'd be like "Hey, so, um,
you know, we've been hangin' out together all the time,
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spending a lot of time together and everything."
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[In woman's voice.]
"Yeah yeah, I know."
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[In man's voice]
"I wanna keep doin' that 'til you're dead."
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[ Audience laughs. ]
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[Imitating woman] "Wh--what??"
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[As man] "I wanna keep hangin' out
with you 'til one of us dies."
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[ Audience laughs. ]
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[As man] "Put this ring on your finger
so people know we have an arrangement."
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[ Audience laughs. ]
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[As woman]
"Wh...wh... who's that guy?"
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[As man] "He's a priest.
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"I want you to swear to God
you won't back out of this deal."
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[ Audience laughs and applauds. ]
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[As woman]
"Wh... what's he wheeling in?"
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[As man]
"It's a cake with two tiny dolls that look like us."
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[ Audience laughs. ]
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"EAT A SLICE!!!"
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[ Audience laughs. ]
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"Now feed a little bit to me!"
[Munching noises.] [Audience laughs.]
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[As woman]
[Sobbing.] "This is really strange!"
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"Why are we doing this??"
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[As man]
"Tax purposes."
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[ Audience laughs and applauds. ]