Hey Canada, I'm Wab Kinew;

I know I'm not your boyfriend,

but I wouldn't mind being your man on the side

but for this thing to work,

there's five things you're going to have to have to stop saying about my people.

First thing: alcohol.

The big thing that separates us here isn't the alcohol,

it's the poverty.

Because when a non-Native person passes out,

they do it at a curling club,

or a Nickelback concert.

But when a Native person does,

they do it on the street,

which is shameful, but oh-so comfortable.

Then there's this whole idea of get over it.

You know, why don't you guys just get over it.

You know, I am over it.

My dad was raped in a residential school by a nun.

I'm over it.

But it doesn't mean that we should forget it.

Then, there's the long hair thing.

You know, some Aboriginal people do wear their hair long

as a symbol of cultural pride.

Those are the Natives beautiful long, straight hair.

For a curly-haired Ojibwe such as myself,

hair clippers have been the greatest invention of the white man since the mirror.

Then, I often hear this question:

what are you guys doing with the seven billion dollars?

The seven billion dollars we give Indian Affairs--

what are you guys doing with it?

You know what,

that money has to pay for a population the same size as New Brunswick.

You know what New Brunswick spends on their population?

Eight billion dollars.

And yet I never hear Canadians ask:

hey New Brunswick, what are you doing with your eight billion dollars?

Finally, one of your favourites: taxes.

Guess what, I'm a Status Indian,

I pay income tax, I pay sales tax,

I once even paid a land transfer tax.

Ironic.

It's all part of a much larger stereotype:

that Aboriginal people in Canada

are getting a free ride.

A hundred and forty years after the treaties,

we're still waiting for the things that we were promised

in those agreements to share the land.

So I ask you:

who's really getting the free ride?