1
00:00:09,595 --> 00:00:12,271
The biggest sin that I was holding on to

2
00:00:12,271 --> 00:00:13,967
was my doubts and unbelief

3
00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:15,482
in the Lord Jesus Christ -

4
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:17,586
that He was able to save my soul;

5
00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:20,525
to just trust in Him.

6
00:00:20,525 --> 00:00:22,278
And it would always be like,

7
00:00:22,278 --> 00:00:24,631
ok, I trust in Him, and then...

8
00:00:24,631 --> 00:00:27,485
Ok, I've got to repent and 
believe in that enough;

9
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:29,522
I've got to keep trusting in Him

10
00:00:29,522 --> 00:00:31,161
and that will save my soul.

11
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,386
I've got to keep believing Him
and that will save my soul.

12
00:00:33,398 --> 00:00:34,796
I've got to repent enough;

13
00:00:34,796 --> 00:00:36,221
turn away from my sin enough,

14
00:00:36,221 --> 00:00:38,049
and that will save my soul.

15
00:00:38,049 --> 00:00:39,745
I mean, the Gospel to me

16
00:00:39,745 --> 00:00:41,692
was pretty much a law.

17
00:00:41,692 --> 00:00:44,769
It was repent and believe,

18
00:00:44,769 --> 00:00:47,598
and you won't go to hell.

19
00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:49,612
But it was different.

20
00:00:49,612 --> 00:00:51,166
It was a law.

21
00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,076
It wasn't the free grace of God in it

22
00:00:53,076 --> 00:00:55,116
that God would save me.

23
00:00:55,116 --> 00:00:58,009
It was like, oh, I'm going to seek You

24
00:00:58,009 --> 00:00:59,760
with all my heart and soul

25
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,861
and then I'm going to bend Your arm, God.

26
00:01:03,861 --> 00:01:07,505
I'm going to try and pray enough.

27
00:01:07,505 --> 00:01:09,781
I'm going to seek You

28
00:01:09,781 --> 00:01:13,985
and it never sufficed.

29
00:01:13,985 --> 00:01:16,671
There's never completeness in it all.

30
00:01:16,671 --> 00:01:18,582
It would always fail,

31
00:01:18,582 --> 00:01:20,237
even though I sought God;

32
00:01:20,237 --> 00:01:21,537
cried out to Him;

33
00:01:21,537 --> 00:01:24,107
prayed, thought good thoughts about Him.

34
00:01:24,107 --> 00:01:25,047
It didn't suffice.


35
00:01:25,047 --> 00:01:26,516
God wasn't looking at my works

36
00:01:26,516 --> 00:01:28,009
even though I prayed good.

37
00:01:28,009 --> 00:01:30,234
I mean before, I actually thought -

38
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:33,454
when I was thinking I was a Christian

39
00:01:33,454 --> 00:01:34,886
and everything like that,

40
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,371
I thought, man, look at my performance.

41
00:01:37,371 --> 00:01:38,932
I just prayed really good there.

42
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:39,949
Then all of a sudden,

43
00:01:39,949 --> 00:01:41,440
I would even have the thought

44
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:42,744
but that doesn't matter.

45
00:01:42,744 --> 00:01:43,977
You know Christ matters.

46
00:01:43,977 --> 00:01:45,688
And then that right there,

47
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:46,897
because I said that,

48
00:01:46,897 --> 00:01:49,274
that was my performance right there.

49
00:01:49,274 --> 00:01:50,841
Because I was acknowledging that

50
00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:52,292
it's Christ's work.

51
00:01:52,292 --> 00:01:55,047
And me pointing to Christ 
and saying, "it's His."

52
00:01:55,047 --> 00:01:58,705
That was how I was performing before God.

53
00:01:58,705 --> 00:02:00,483
And that's what I was holding on to.

54
00:02:00,483 --> 00:02:01,881
I was holding on to:

55
00:02:01,881 --> 00:02:03,283
I'm a special case.

56
00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,223
I mean, I can't believe...

57
00:02:05,223 --> 00:02:06,779
woe is me.

58
00:02:06,779 --> 00:02:08,167
The big thing was,

59
00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:09,892
God was pointing at me and saying,

60
00:02:09,892 --> 00:02:11,239
you won't believe.

61
00:02:11,239 --> 00:02:14,268
My Gospel is free and it 
extends its arm to you.

62
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,332
Nothing holds you back 
from trusting in My Son.

63
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:20,489
You're the one that won't come.

64
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:22,984
And I kept thinking,

65
00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:26,151
well, I guess I'll wait.

66
00:02:26,151 --> 00:02:27,962
Wait for that special feeling.

67
00:02:27,962 --> 00:02:29,227
The more I waited,

68
00:02:29,227 --> 00:02:32,327
the fruit of waiting came more doubts

69
00:02:32,327 --> 00:02:33,563
and unbelief about God.

70
00:02:33,563 --> 00:02:35,562
Hatred towards Him and everything.

71
00:02:35,562 --> 00:02:38,343
And then, ok, I'm going to cry out to Him.

72
00:02:38,343 --> 00:02:39,387
People would tell me,

73
00:02:39,387 --> 00:02:40,542
cry out to the Lord.

74
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,840
If you really cry out to 
Him, He'll answer you.

75
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,145
I was like, ok.

76
00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:45,262
So I cried out to Him,

77
00:02:45,262 --> 00:02:46,566
and I'm thinking about Him

78
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,434
and trying...

79
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:52,096
I was trusting in my crying out to Him.

80
00:02:52,096 --> 00:02:54,543
I came to a point where 


81
00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:57,585
I can just believe in 
the Lord Jesus Christ,

82
00:02:57,585 --> 00:03:00,303
that it was His prayers that were

83
00:03:00,303 --> 00:03:01,871
100% completely perfect.

84
00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:04,805
And all that merit of Him is now

85
00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:08,036
imputed to my account.

86
00:03:08,036 --> 00:03:09,889
Not that I'm perfect and righteous

87
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:11,141
in my own self,

88
00:03:11,141 --> 00:03:13,999
but there's righteousness in Him.

89
00:03:13,999 --> 00:03:15,960
And if I keep believing in Him

90
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:16,966
and trusting in Him -

91
00:03:16,966 --> 00:03:19,196
not that these are works 
or anything like that,

92
00:03:19,196 --> 00:03:20,611
but it's a ceasing -

93
00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:22,034
giving up and saying,

94
00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:23,466
He has a righteousness

95
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:26,416
that's going to pay for all my sin.

96
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:29,075
His death pays for all my sin.

97
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,714
It's His righteousness that covers me

98
00:03:31,714 --> 00:03:33,357
and clothes me.

99
00:03:33,357 --> 00:03:35,616
And God looks at me with love now

100
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,345
because of Christ

101
00:03:37,345 --> 00:03:39,203
and not because of myself.

102
00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:41,577
There's absolutely nothing inside me

103
00:03:41,577 --> 00:03:44,482
that I can come to God with.

104
00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:47,130
It has to come from outside.

105
00:03:47,130 --> 00:03:48,877
There has to be Christ.

106
00:03:48,877 --> 00:03:50,021
If I don't have Christ,

107
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,437
then I don't have that 
propitiation that He's made,

108
00:03:52,437 --> 00:03:53,967
how can I come to God?

109
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,729
I mean, if I didn't see the Gospel,

110
00:03:55,729 --> 00:03:58,636
all I would be doing is 
trying to bend God's arm,

111
00:03:58,636 --> 00:04:00,318
even though I was condemned.

112
00:04:00,318 --> 00:04:03,564
I was a vile, filthy sinner before Him.

113
00:04:03,564 --> 00:04:06,089
I mean, we hope in the Lord

114
00:04:06,089 --> 00:04:07,960
because He saves.

115
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,909
We pray to God because He answers.

116
00:04:09,909 --> 00:04:11,847
I mean, we look to Christ

117
00:04:11,847 --> 00:04:14,413
because He saves us.

118
00:04:14,413 --> 00:04:17,249
He steps in our place

119
00:04:17,249 --> 00:04:18,613
when we should be there.

120
00:04:18,613 --> 00:04:21,908
I mean, it's to the one who does not work

121
00:04:21,908 --> 00:04:25,429
but believes in Him Who 
justifies the ungodly,

122
00:04:25,429 --> 00:04:27,713
his faith - the person who does not work

123
00:04:27,713 --> 00:04:30,698
and believes in God who 
justifies the ungodly,

124
00:04:30,698 --> 00:04:32,740
his faith is counted as righteousness.

125
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:35,923
Not the person who trusts in his works;

126
00:04:35,923 --> 00:04:37,410
trusts in his prayers;

127
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:38,804
and trusts in his sighs

128
00:04:38,804 --> 00:04:41,373
and says, oh wow, I did good this time.

129
00:04:41,373 --> 00:04:43,394
He doesn't have any peace from God.

130
00:04:43,394 --> 00:04:46,103
God might give him up to that

131
00:04:46,103 --> 00:04:48,265
and give him a peace in it,

132
00:04:48,265 --> 00:04:51,284
and He'd be perfectly just in doing that.

133
00:04:51,284 --> 00:04:53,784
But in His mercy,

134
00:04:53,784 --> 00:04:56,455
He causes no peace for that person.

135
00:04:56,455 --> 00:04:59,141
That person, like me,

136
00:04:59,141 --> 00:05:00,668
that was trying to repent,

137
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,143
trying to believe,

138
00:05:02,143 --> 00:05:04,111
trying to come to God,

139
00:05:04,111 --> 00:05:07,634
trying and doing anything

140
00:05:07,634 --> 00:05:10,484
to come to God

141
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:13,594
outside of His Son and what He's done,

142
00:05:13,594 --> 00:05:14,672
it's nothing.

143
00:05:14,672 --> 00:05:15,902
I can't give God my heart

144
00:05:15,902 --> 00:05:17,742
and then God's going 
to give me His heart.

145
00:05:17,742 --> 00:05:18,551
No.

146
00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:20,548
God comes down and says,

147
00:05:20,548 --> 00:05:22,173
here's My Son.

148
00:05:22,173 --> 00:05:23,378
Do you consent?

149
00:05:23,378 --> 00:05:24,531
Will you believe in Him?

150
00:05:24,531 --> 00:05:25,634
This is My beloved Son.

151
00:05:25,634 --> 00:05:27,067
I'm well pleased with Him.

152
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:29,276
He's willing to take your place.

153
00:05:29,276 --> 00:05:31,023
Will you trust Him?

154
00:05:31,023 --> 00:05:32,867
And then people would go,

155
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:35,464
well, what about election?

156
00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:37,565
Find your election in Jesus Christ.

157
00:05:37,565 --> 00:05:40,257
Election has done but saved people.

158
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,084
If He didn't elect,

159
00:05:42,084 --> 00:05:44,479
we'd all be like Sodom and Gomorrah.

160
00:05:44,479 --> 00:05:46,034
Totally trashed.

161
00:05:46,034 --> 00:05:48,559
Everything would be totally gone.

162
00:05:48,559 --> 00:05:50,720
There would be no salvation for anybody.

163
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,941
But because God saves...

164
00:05:52,941 --> 00:05:55,115
God is a loving God

165
00:05:55,115 --> 00:05:56,400
and we're wicked.

166
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,532
The thing is,

167
00:05:57,532 --> 00:05:58,991
we have a wrong view about God

168
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:01,150
when we start going,
well, I don't know if I'm elect.

169
00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:03,047
Because we're saying, God,
You're a tyrant.

170
00:06:03,047 --> 00:06:05,249
You're the person that elects people,

171
00:06:05,249 --> 00:06:07,316
and I guess I'm just 
going to have to wait.

172
00:06:07,316 --> 00:06:08,550
And we sit around waiting

173
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:10,730
and just harbor bad thoughts about God,

174
00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:15,767
instead of coming to 
Him exactly as we are.

175
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:17,152
He is loving.

176
00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:18,848
God is love.

177
00:06:18,848 --> 00:06:21,640
And He gives a righteousness

178
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,670
to sinners.

179
00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:25,080
People who just come to Him

180
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,041
exactly as they are.

181
00:06:26,041 --> 00:06:27,242
Not trying to put on a show.

182
00:06:27,242 --> 00:06:30,064
Just saying, God, I hate you.

183
00:06:30,064 --> 00:06:31,360
I mean literally,

184
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,334
you can come to God exactly as you are.

185
00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:37,754
But don't expect to stay like that.
Because His love encompasses you.

186
00:06:37,754 --> 00:06:40,642
John 5:39-40 "You search the Scriptures because
you think that in them you have eternal life;

187
00:06:40,642 --> 00:06:43,918
and it is they that bear witness about Me, yet you
refused to come to Me that you may have life."