1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,304
What an intriguing
group of individuals you are ...

2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:06,953
to a psychologist.

3
00:00:06,977 --> 00:00:08,416
(Laughter)

4
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,546
I've had the opportunity
over the last couple of days

5
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:14,156
of listening in on some
of your conversations

6
00:00:14,984 --> 00:00:17,150
and watching you interact with each other.

7
00:00:17,174 --> 00:00:19,699
And I think it's fair to say, already,

8
00:00:19,723 --> 00:00:24,911
that there are 47 people in this audience,

9
00:00:25,494 --> 00:00:26,712
at this moment,

10
00:00:27,414 --> 00:00:31,547
displaying psychological symptoms
I would like to discuss today.

11
00:00:31,571 --> 00:00:32,918
(Laughter)

12
00:00:32,942 --> 00:00:35,944
And I thought you might
like to know who you are.

13
00:00:35,968 --> 00:00:37,391
(Laughter)

14
00:00:37,415 --> 00:00:39,102
But instead of pointing at you,

15
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:42,324
which would be gratuitous and intrusive,

16
00:00:42,865 --> 00:00:45,866
I thought I would tell you
a few facts and stories,

17
00:00:45,890 --> 00:00:48,927
in which you may catch
a glimpse of yourself.

18
00:00:50,089 --> 00:00:54,325
I'm in the field of research
known as personality psychology,

19
00:00:54,349 --> 00:00:57,789
which is part of a larger
personality science

20
00:00:57,813 --> 00:01:02,922
which spans the full spectrum,
from neurons to narratives.

21
00:01:03,337 --> 00:01:04,790
And what we try to do,

22
00:01:05,601 --> 00:01:07,164
in our own way,

23
00:01:07,188 --> 00:01:09,932
is to make sense of how each of us --

24
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:12,019
each of you --

25
00:01:12,467 --> 00:01:14,545
is, in certain respects,

26
00:01:14,569 --> 00:01:15,932
like all other people,

27
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,377
like some other people

28
00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:21,261
and like no other person.

29
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Now, already you may
be saying of yourself,

30
00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:27,515
"I'm not intriguing.

31
00:01:29,597 --> 00:01:35,046
I am the 46th most boring person
in the Western Hemisphere."

32
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:38,184
Or you may say of yourself,

33
00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:40,115
"I am intriguing,

34
00:01:41,252 --> 00:01:45,203
even if I am regarded by most people
as a great, thundering twit."

35
00:01:45,227 --> 00:01:46,417
(Laughter)

36
00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:52,301
But it is your self-diagnosed boringness
and your inherent "twitiness"

37
00:01:52,325 --> 00:01:56,752
that makes me, as a psychologist,
really fascinated by you.

38
00:01:57,172 --> 00:01:59,523
So let me explain why this is so.

39
00:02:00,284 --> 00:02:04,445
One of the most influential approaches
in personality science

40
00:02:04,469 --> 00:02:06,059
is known as trait psychology,

41
00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:11,452
and it aligns you along five dimensions
which are normally distributed,

42
00:02:11,476 --> 00:02:18,466
and that describe universally held aspects
of difference between people.

43
00:02:19,379 --> 00:02:21,708
They spell out the acronym OCEAN.

44
00:02:22,105 --> 00:02:25,156
So, "O" stands for "open to experience,"

45
00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:27,531
versus those who are more closed.

46
00:02:27,555 --> 00:02:30,730
"C" stands for "conscientiousness,"

47
00:02:30,754 --> 00:02:34,398
in contrast to those with a more
lackadaisical approach to life.

48
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:39,065
"E" -- "extroversion," in contrast
to more introverted people.

49
00:02:39,089 --> 00:02:41,781
"A" -- "agreeable individuals,"

50
00:02:41,805 --> 00:02:45,227
in contrast to those
decidedly not agreeable.

51
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,243
And "N" -- "neurotic individuals,"

52
00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:50,940
in contrast to those who are more stable.

53
00:02:52,268 --> 00:02:55,658
All of these dimensions have
implications for our well-being,

54
00:02:55,682 --> 00:02:58,188
for how our life goes.

55
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:01,111
And so we know that, for example,

56
00:03:01,135 --> 00:03:06,110
openness and conscientiousness
are very good predictors of life success,

57
00:03:06,829 --> 00:03:11,206
but the open people achieve that success
through being audacious

58
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:13,408
and, occasionally, odd.

59
00:03:14,077 --> 00:03:18,442
The conscientious people
achieve it through sticking to deadlines,

60
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:22,388
to persevering, as well as
having some passion.

61
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:27,548
Extroversion and agreeableness
are both conducive

62
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to working well with people.

63
00:03:30,866 --> 00:03:33,854
Extroverts, for example,
I find intriguing.

64
00:03:33,878 --> 00:03:36,861
With my classes, I sometimes
give them a basic fact

65
00:03:36,885 --> 00:03:39,852
that might be revealing
with respect to their personality:

66
00:03:40,356 --> 00:03:45,402
I tell them that it is virtually
impossible for adults

67
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:49,263
to lick the outside of their own elbow.

68
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(Laughter)

69
00:03:50,565 --> 00:03:51,949
Did you know that?

70
00:03:53,505 --> 00:03:57,694
Already, some of you have tried
to lick the outside of your own elbow.

71
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But extroverts amongst you

72
00:03:59,518 --> 00:04:02,129
are probably those
who have not only tried,

73
00:04:02,153 --> 00:04:04,643
but they have successfully
licked the elbow

74
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,358
of the person sitting next to them.

75
00:04:06,382 --> 00:04:07,384
(Laughter)

76
00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:09,093
Those are the extroverts.

77
00:04:09,117 --> 00:04:12,536
Let me deal in a bit more detail
with extroversion,

78
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,519
because it's consequential
and it's intriguing,

79
00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:19,024
and it helps us understand
what I call our three natures.

80
00:04:19,048 --> 00:04:22,719
First, our biogenic nature --
our neurophysiology.

81
00:04:22,743 --> 00:04:25,726
Second, our sociogenic or second nature,

82
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:30,137
which has to do with the cultural
and social aspects of our lives.

83
00:04:30,744 --> 00:04:37,647
And third, what makes you
individually you -- idiosyncratic --

84
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:41,236
what I call your "idiogenic" nature.

85
00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:42,416
Let me explain.

86
00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:48,386
One of the things that characterizes
extroverts is they need stimulation.

87
00:04:48,971 --> 00:04:53,695
And that stimulation can be achieved
by finding things that are exciting:

88
00:04:53,719 --> 00:04:57,756
loud noises, parties
and social events here at TED --

89
00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:01,007
you see the extroverts
forming a magnetic core.

90
00:05:01,031 --> 00:05:02,690
They all gather together.

91
00:05:02,714 --> 00:05:04,129
And I've seen you.

92
00:05:04,153 --> 00:05:07,476
The introverts are more likely
to spend time in the quiet spaces

93
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,323
up on the second floor,

94
00:05:09,347 --> 00:05:13,139
where they are able
to reduce stimulation --

95
00:05:13,163 --> 00:05:17,098
and may be misconstrued
as being antisocial,

96
00:05:17,122 --> 00:05:20,120
but you're not necessarily antisocial.

97
00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:24,208
It may be that you simply realize
that you do better

98
00:05:25,436 --> 00:05:29,847
when you have a chance
to lower that level of stimulation.

99
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:35,146
Sometimes it's an internal
stimulant, from your body.

100
00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:40,085
Caffeine, for example, works much better
with extroverts than it does introverts.

101
00:05:40,109 --> 00:05:43,288
When extroverts come into the office
at nine o'clock in the morning

102
00:05:43,312 --> 00:05:46,197
and say, "I really need a cup of coffee,"

103
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,372
they're not kidding --

104
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they really do.

105
00:05:49,531 --> 00:05:51,337
Introverts do not do as well,

106
00:05:51,361 --> 00:05:53,878
particularly if the tasks
they're engaged in --

107
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:56,458
and they've had some coffee --

108
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,620
if those tasks are speeded,

109
00:05:58,644 --> 00:06:00,523
and if they're quantitative,

110
00:06:00,547 --> 00:06:04,941
introverts may give the appearance
of not being particularly quantitative.

111
00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:07,220
But it's a misconstrual.

112
00:06:07,244 --> 00:06:10,288
So here are the consequences
that are really quite intriguing:

113
00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:12,395
we're not always what seem to be,

114
00:06:12,419 --> 00:06:15,703
and that takes me to my next point.

115
00:06:16,196 --> 00:06:18,752
I should say, before getting to this,

116
00:06:18,776 --> 00:06:21,456
something about sexual intercourse,

117
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,581
although I may not have time.

118
00:06:23,605 --> 00:06:26,477
And so, if you would like me to --

119
00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:27,652
yes, you would?

120
00:06:27,676 --> 00:06:28,827
OK.

121
00:06:28,851 --> 00:06:29,936
(Laughter)

122
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,120
There are studies done

123
00:06:31,144 --> 00:06:36,469
on the frequency with which
individuals engage in the conjugal act,

124
00:06:37,406 --> 00:06:40,645
as broken down by male, female;
introvert, extrovert.

125
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,251
So I ask you:

126
00:06:42,275 --> 00:06:44,347
How many times per minute --

127
00:06:45,162 --> 00:06:47,046
oh, I'm sorry, that was a rat study --

128
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:49,077
(Laughter)

129
00:06:50,151 --> 00:06:51,953
How many times per month

130
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,974
do introverted men engage in the act?

131
00:06:58,486 --> 00:06:59,876
3.0.

132
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,532
Extroverted men?

133
00:07:01,556 --> 00:07:03,166
More or less?

134
00:07:03,616 --> 00:07:05,244
Yes, more.

135
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:07,974
5.5 -- almost twice as much.

136
00:07:09,264 --> 00:07:11,832
Introverted women: 3.1.

137
00:07:11,856 --> 00:07:13,452
Extroverted women?

138
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:16,822
Frankly, speaking as an introverted male,

139
00:07:16,846 --> 00:07:18,583
which I will explain later --

140
00:07:18,607 --> 00:07:20,188
they are heroic.

141
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:22,748
7.5.

142
00:07:23,782 --> 00:07:26,134
They not only handle
all the male extroverts,

143
00:07:26,158 --> 00:07:28,251
they pick up a few introverts as well.

144
00:07:28,275 --> 00:07:30,171
(Laughter)

145
00:07:30,195 --> 00:07:32,515
(Applause)

146
00:07:36,796 --> 00:07:41,097
We communicate differently,
extroverts and introverts.

147
00:07:42,576 --> 00:07:44,082
Extroverts, when they interact,

148
00:07:44,106 --> 00:07:48,571
want to have lots of social encounter
punctuated by closeness.

149
00:07:48,595 --> 00:07:51,586
They'd like to stand close
for comfortable communication.

150
00:07:52,547 --> 00:07:54,746
They like to have a lot of eye contact,

151
00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:56,114
or mutual gaze.

152
00:07:57,241 --> 00:07:58,448
We found in some research

153
00:07:58,472 --> 00:08:01,470
that they use more diminutive terms
when they meet somebody.

154
00:08:01,873 --> 00:08:04,586
So when an extrovert meets a Charles,

155
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:07,495
it rapidly becomes "Charlie,"
and then "Chuck,"

156
00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:09,198
and then "Chuckles Baby."

157
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,714
(Laughter)

158
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,437
Whereas for introverts,

159
00:08:12,461 --> 00:08:17,366
it remains "Charles," until he's given
a pass to be more intimate

160
00:08:17,390 --> 00:08:19,610
by the person he's talking to.

161
00:08:20,044 --> 00:08:22,829
We speak differently.

162
00:08:24,934 --> 00:08:30,171
Extroverts prefer black-and-white,
concrete, simple language.

163
00:08:31,854 --> 00:08:35,648
Introverts prefer --
and I must again tell you

164
00:08:35,672 --> 00:08:40,029
that I am as extreme an introvert
as you could possibly imagine --

165
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,570
we speak differently.

166
00:08:42,594 --> 00:08:46,589
We prefer contextually complex,

167
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,545
contingent,

168
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,585
weasel-word sentences --

169
00:08:50,609 --> 00:08:51,632
(Laughter)

170
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,018
More or less.

171
00:08:53,385 --> 00:08:54,821
(Laughter)

172
00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:56,045
As it were.

173
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,084
(Laughter)

174
00:08:57,108 --> 00:08:59,108
Not to put too fine a point upon it --

175
00:08:59,848 --> 00:09:01,021
like that.

176
00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:03,357
When we talk,

177
00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:05,123
we sometimes talk past each other.

178
00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:08,352
I had a consulting contract
I shared with a colleague

179
00:09:08,376 --> 00:09:11,380
who's as different from me
as two people can possibly be.

180
00:09:11,739 --> 00:09:13,518
First, his name is Tom.

181
00:09:14,499 --> 00:09:15,713
Mine isn't.

182
00:09:15,737 --> 00:09:17,008
(Laughter)

183
00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:18,963
Secondly, he's six foot five.

184
00:09:18,987 --> 00:09:20,939
I have a tendency not to be.

185
00:09:20,963 --> 00:09:22,006
(Laughter)

186
00:09:22,030 --> 00:09:25,753
And thirdly, he's as extroverted
a person as you could find.

187
00:09:25,777 --> 00:09:28,157
I am seriously introverted.

188
00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:30,365
I overload so much,

189
00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:35,203
I can't even have a cup of coffee
after three in the afternoon

190
00:09:35,227 --> 00:09:37,515
and expect to sleep in the evening.

191
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:42,130
We had seconded to this project
a fellow called Michael.

192
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,492
And Michael almost brought
the project to a crashing halt.

193
00:09:48,528 --> 00:09:52,324
So the person who seconded him
asked Tom and me,

194
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:54,703
"What do you make of Michael?"

195
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:56,997
Well, I'll tell you
what Tom said in a minute.

196
00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:59,337
He spoke in classic "extrovert-ese."

197
00:09:59,955 --> 00:10:03,530
And here is how extroverted ears
heard what I said,

198
00:10:03,554 --> 00:10:05,507
which is actually pretty accurate.

199
00:10:05,531 --> 00:10:09,791
I said, "Well Michael does have
a tendency at times

200
00:10:10,385 --> 00:10:13,671
of behaving in a way
that some of us might see

201
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:18,624
as perhaps more assertive
than is normally called for."

202
00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:21,251
(Laughter)

203
00:10:21,611 --> 00:10:23,388
Tom rolled his eyes and he said,

204
00:10:23,412 --> 00:10:25,941
"Brian, that's what I said:

205
00:10:26,629 --> 00:10:28,029
he's an asshole!"

206
00:10:28,053 --> 00:10:30,230
(Laughter)

207
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,075
(Applause)

208
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:34,776
Now, as an introvert,

209
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:39,981
I might gently allude to certain
"assholic" qualities

210
00:10:40,005 --> 00:10:41,300
in this man's behavior,

211
00:10:41,324 --> 00:10:44,128
but I'm not going to lunge for the a-word.

212
00:10:44,152 --> 00:10:45,928
(Laughter)

213
00:10:47,228 --> 00:10:48,494
But the extrovert says,

214
00:10:48,518 --> 00:10:51,392
"If he walks like one, if he talks
like one, I call him one."

215
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:52,828
And we go past each other.

216
00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:57,464
Now is this something
that we should be heedful of?

217
00:10:57,488 --> 00:10:58,654
Of course.

218
00:10:58,678 --> 00:11:00,262
It's important that we know this.

219
00:11:00,286 --> 00:11:01,825
Is that all we are?

220
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:04,711
Are we just a bunch of traits?

221
00:11:05,563 --> 00:11:06,825
No, we're not.

222
00:11:08,116 --> 00:11:10,372
Remember, you're like some other people

223
00:11:11,266 --> 00:11:12,975
and like no other person.

224
00:11:13,487 --> 00:11:15,922
How about that idiosyncratic you?

225
00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:19,736
As Elizabeth or as George,

226
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,640
you may share your extroversion
or your neuroticism.

227
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:28,258
But are there some distinctively
Elizabethan features of your behavior,

228
00:11:28,282 --> 00:11:30,479
or Georgian of yours,

229
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:35,582
that make us understand you
better than just a bunch of traits?

230
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,643
That make us love you?

231
00:11:39,461 --> 00:11:42,455
Not just because you're
a certain type of person.

232
00:11:43,188 --> 00:11:45,812
I'm uncomfortable putting
people in pigeonholes.

233
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,672
I don't even think pigeons
belong in pigeonholes.

234
00:11:51,235 --> 00:11:53,304
So what is it that makes us different?

235
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:58,901
It's the doings that we have
in our life -- the personal projects.

236
00:11:59,403 --> 00:12:01,224
You have a personal project right now,

237
00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:04,334
but nobody may know it here.

238
00:12:05,504 --> 00:12:07,312
It relates to your kid --

239
00:12:07,336 --> 00:12:09,536
you've been back three times
to the hospital,

240
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,456
and they still don't know what's wrong.

241
00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:14,697
Or it could be your mom.

242
00:12:16,092 --> 00:12:18,194
And you'd been acting out of character.

243
00:12:18,218 --> 00:12:19,780
These are free traits.

244
00:12:21,521 --> 00:12:24,601
You're very agreeable,
but you act disagreeably

245
00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:28,498
in order to break down those barriers
of administrative torpor

246
00:12:28,522 --> 00:12:29,673
in the hospital,

247
00:12:29,697 --> 00:12:32,323
to get something
for your mom or your child.

248
00:12:33,814 --> 00:12:35,321
What are these free traits?

249
00:12:35,345 --> 00:12:37,915
They're where we enact a script

250
00:12:37,939 --> 00:12:40,592
in order to advance
a core project in our lives.

251
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:43,802
And they are what matters.

252
00:12:43,826 --> 00:12:46,098
Don't ask people what type you are;

253
00:12:46,742 --> 00:12:49,496
ask them, "What are your core
projects in your life?"

254
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,304
And we enact those free traits.

255
00:12:51,328 --> 00:12:52,643
I'm an introvert,

256
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:57,253
but I have a core project,
which is to profess.

257
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,848
I'm a professor.

258
00:12:59,798 --> 00:13:01,655
And I adore my students,

259
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and I adore my field.

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And I can't wait to tell them
about what's new, what's exciting,

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what I can't wait to tell them about.

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And so I act in an extroverted way,

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because at eight in the morning,

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the students need a little bit of humor,

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a little bit of engagement
to keep them going

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in arduous days of study.

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But we need to be very careful

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when we act protractedly out of character.

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Sometimes we may find
that we don't take care of ourselves.

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I find, for example, after a period
of pseudo-extroverted behavior,

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I need to repair somewhere on my own.

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As Susan Cain said in her "Quiet" book,

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in a chapter that featured
the strange Canadian professor

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who was teaching at the time at Harvard,

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I sometimes go to the men's room

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to escape the slings and arrows
of outrageous extroverts.

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(Laughter)

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I remember one particular day
when I was retired to a cubicle,

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trying to avoid overstimulation.

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And a real extrovert came
in beside me -- not right in my cubicle,

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but in the next cubicle over --

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and I could hear various
evacuatory noises,

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which we hate -- even our own,

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that's why we flush
during as well as after.

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(Laughter)

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And then I heard
this gravelly voice saying,

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"Hey, is that Dr. Little?"

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(Laughter)

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If anything is guaranteed
to constipate an introvert for six months,

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it's talking on the john.

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(Laughter)

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That's where I'm going now.

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Don't follow me.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)